


Still Lonely (이놈의 인기)

by Yleisnotonfire



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: A LOT OF DIALOGUE, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Enemies to Friends, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Friends to lovers? Still not there though?, I still don't know where this is going to go, I'm Bad At Summaries, M/M, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Romance, Slow Burn, and a lot of text too, chapter 27 underage drinking, drummer!Jihoon, kind of smut at the end of chapter 27, soonwoo at first for plot purposes, their age is a bit different, they're all crackheads
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2019-09-05 02:46:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 142,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16802155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yleisnotonfire/pseuds/Yleisnotonfire
Summary: Kwon Soonyoung is a normal high school student who gets bored during classes and likes to spend time with his best friends Seokmin and Joshua.But what happens when on an apparently normal afternoon he has to go back home alone?orHigh School au in which Soonyoung and Jihoon hate each other since day 1.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, I want to say thanks to my girls from the 'vobo, rabo & pabo' gc on twt for helping me choose the name of the band and also my friend 'lillash' for supporting me through every work of mine.  
> You are the best! 
> 
> Second thing, this is an au that I started writing back in 2016 and I am now adapting it to SVT. I stopped midway but I hope that, by publishing it on ao3, I will be able to finish it! This is going to be edited by me so I'm sorry in advance for any mistake!
> 
> Some of the guys have different ages from reality so here is a brief chart: 
> 
> Seungcheol - Jeonghan - Joshua: 23 y.o.
> 
> Wonwoo: 22 y.o. 
> 
> Mingyu: 21 y.o.
> 
> Seungkwan: 20 y.o.
> 
> Soonyoung - Seokmin - Jihoon - Chanyeol: 18 y.o.
> 
> Hope you enjoy it!

**“Soonyoung, wake up! You need to go to school!”**

My mom yelled at the top of her lungs before bursting into my room and opening the curtains to let the morning light come into my room.

**“Just five more minutes, please mom!”** I groan and pull the covers up my head.  
  


**“No way, you’ll be late for the first day of your last year of high school!”** She pulls the covers away and I sit up in the middle of my bed.  
  


**“Yeah, it’s the last year so they already know me. They already know that I’m always late.”** I protest, trying to grab the covers from her hands to sleep just a little bit more.  
  


**“Don’t be lazy and get up!”** However, my mom doesn’t give up and keeps tugging on the blankets until I am the one who has to give up.  
  


**“Okay! Just know that I’ll get my revenge...no one can get away with separating me from my lovely bed.”** I point my finger at her, glaring, but my voice betrays me, cracking in the middle of the sentence.  
  


**“I’ll deal with it.”** She shrugs, not taking my words seriously.  
  


**“Ah ah ah. At least you could pretend to be scared,”** I say while pouting.  
  


**“There’s no time for that. Breakfast’s ready and it’s waiting for you,”** she says while pulling me up from the bed.  
  


**“Fine! I’ll get up!”** I stand up and let her drag me to the kitchen like we do every time she’s at home because she’s not on an early shift. 

Oh, I think I should pause this for a moment!   
You’re already here? Yes, I’m talking to you who are now reading this! I think I need to quickly introduce myself before resuming the story.  
My name’s Kwon Soonyoung and I’m 18. I’m quite a handsome boy of average height and dark brown hair. My eyes are my charm as they are a little bit slanted. They look like the clock’s hands when they’re on 10:10 or someone else said that they look like the eyes of a tiger. However, many of my friends don’t see me as a tiger but as a hamster and that’s all because of my chubby cheeks but hey, remember that I am a person, not an animal so I can’t be a hamster!  


Okay, I need to go back on track or else I’ll lose my train of thoughts. 

  
As you may have noticed from the talk with my mom, this year is my last year in high school!  _*insert cheering*_ I think that’s all you need to kno- Oh, wait! I almost forgot to mention that I came here from Japan!    
Now, you could be asking yourself  _ ‘here? where is here?’ _ Of course, it’s Seoul!    
My parents and I lived in Japan for quite a while and then we had to move back here. Why? Because of their jobs.   
They both work for an important Korean company that has one of its main branches in Japan and as they were needed there, I had to follow them when they had to move. Hopefully, now we came here to stay as the company noticed they could be more of help to the main branch in Seoul.   
As we lived for 10 years in Japan, my family and I got used to speaking Japanese even at home so I had to pick up my Korean before coming here. I quickly practised the basics so I wouldn’t die on the streets in case I had got lost and, to be honest, it was a bit difficult because Japanese got in the way, but people had been so patient with me and helped me to improve and even get rid of the light Japanese accent I had. 

Okay, now I seriously need to stop talking or else I will never be able to continue with the story! 

**“Today your father’s going to bring you to school, I can't come with you as I already need to leave,”** my mom says while handing me the spoon to eat the bowl of rice that I am struggling to eat with the chopsticks. I’m so tired that my body doesn’t properly work.  
  


**“Hey, but I’m old enough to go alone,”** I protest upon hearing the news of my father sending me to school.  
  


**“I know that but you know your father. Every year he gets very excited about your first day of school. I guess he feels sorry for not being there and not doing that when you were a child.”** A sad sigh escapes her lips while she puts her hand on my shoulder.  
  


**“It’s okay, mom. I know he had to work,”** I say while patting her hand **“However, it’s just for today, okay? Tomorrow I’ll go alone.”**  
  


**“Okay, deal!”** Her features soften as she smiles at me. **“Now, let me take a look at you.”** She makes me stand up and her eyes quickly scan my figure.  
  


**“Uh? What are you doing?”** I ask dumbfounded.  
  


**“You say you’ve grown up but your uniform is messy!”** She shakes her head. **“Fix your shirt and tie then take your backpack or you’ll be late, my child!”** My mom winks at me when the words ‘my child’ leave her mouth in a mocking tone. 

I reply to her by sticking my tongue out. 

I hurriedly finish eating my breakfast trying at the same time not to choke and fix my uniform. While tucking the shirt in the trousers, I think about my comfortable sweatpants. Ah, how much I love them. Wearing this too-formal clothes is just not for me. My mom usually nags at me saying that I should wear this kind of outfit more since I am a ‘young man’ but hell no, I won’t do it, never. I want to live while being comfortable!

**“Okay, should we get going?”**

My father’s voice startles me. I turn around and I see him standing by the door, car keys in one hand and his briefcase in the other. 

**“Yeah, I’m ready. Let’s go!”**

I run to my mom and leave a kiss on her cheek before grabbing my bag. My father and I wave at her and we walk out the door. In an unusual silence, we reach our car parked in the driveway before our house. 

As soon as my father starts the car, he starts the conversation too. 

**“So, it’s your last year in high school, how do you feel about it?”**

_‘Here we go again. He and his awkward questions,’_ I think, mentally rolling my eyes. 

**“Normal?! Should I feel something else?”** I giggle.  
  


**“Ah, you’re really growing up...you’re an adult.”** His awkwardly flat tone tries to hide his emotions. After all, his only son is just a year away to officially enter the adult world.  
  


**“Don’t be like that! You know that I am always my old self.”**  
  


**“There’s no doubt. Your height is the only thing that grew. Your mind is still the one of a 5-year-old child!”** My dad stifles a laugh.  
  


**“Oh thanks, dad, you’re too kind!”** I deadpan.  
  


**“You’re right. Maybe you’re even younger than that.”**  
  


**“Wow, the disrespect! I can’t hit you because you’re driving. Consider yourself a lucky man!”** I raise a bit the voice and then everything goes silent.

That is until we both start laughing out loud.    
As the laughter dies after a while, I look outside the car window and I’m soon lost in my thoughts.    
My father and I usually joke around like this but, right now, he has a point. I may be an adult, but my mind didn’t grow up. I mean, I get serious when the situation requires it, but I like to joke around a lot and keep the atmosphere light and bright. That’s because, everywhere I look, I see people of my age acting too serious and already being sure of what they want to be in the future. They are already working hard to achieve their goals, sometimes forgetting how it is to have a good laugh. I’m not like that. I know what I want to do but I want to keep on living like today is the last day of my life, keep on trying to find the bright side to every experience, keep on laughing at silly things together with my friends. I still can’t get all serious about my future. 

I snap out of it the moment my father pulls over the front of my school. I’m about to open the door to get out of the car when my father stops me and gives me a kiss on the top of my head. 

**“I’ll see you at home for dinner, young man,”** he says ruffling my hair.  
  


**“See you later, old man! Wish me luck for this first day!”** I say while fixing my locks.  
  


**“Good luck!”** My father shouts so loud I almost breaking my eardrums. 

I smile at him before getting out of the car and closing the door behind me. My father drives away, I take a deep breath and confidently throw my bag over my shoulder while walking towards the school entrance. 

Suddenly, I feel someone pulling me backwards. I quickly lift my hand to hit the person who has now his arm around my neck in a loose armlock. 

**“Ouch. Is this how you treat someone who’s trying to welcome you back?”**  
  


**“You deserve it, Shua hyung! You scared me!”** I almost yell.  
  


**“I’m sorry,"** Joshua says in a half-assed tone **"By the way, how was your trip back to Japan?”** He asks, still rubbing his hand on the spot I hit.  
  


**“Splendid. What about you? Did you go back to Los Angeles?”**

Tall, honey coloured skin, red-brown hair that frames the gentleman-like features of his face. He is Hong Jisoo, better known as Joshua or Shua, and he is my best friend. 

I wish he was my classmate but that’s not the case as he’s 23. I would be worried if he was still in high school. We met here though! To be exact, we met in the school’s library where he works as a part-timer. Since the day we met, we’re inseparable.    
We may look like we’re a bit different because of our personalities and that’s why people ask themselves how are we even friends: I am outgoing and can’t stop the words from coming out of my mouth while he looks shy and quiet. However, I swear that once you get to really know him, he’s pure evil. He comes up with jokes and random things that no one would expect from him. To be honest, you wouldn’t be even able to think about the things he does. It’s at those times that people finally understand the reason why we are best friends. 

We both like music and that’s another thing that has brought us together. Another one can be the fact that, shortly after we met, he had moved in two houses away from mine. Because of that, we walk to school together every day. When we get at the gate, he goes to the library while I go to class. We get lunch together and sometimes I go to the library to study while I wait for him to end his shift.    
Joshua is a skilful guy. He can sing and play the guitar and that’s why he’s in a group. He and some of his friends have a band originally called _‘Al1’_ but that is now known as _‘Jeonghan’s bitches’_ apparently because they lost a bet to Jeonghan. They have recently started playing their music at pubs and clubs and they got a small fan base. I haven’t had yet the pleasure of watching them perform because I’m still not the age to get in clubs. I’m still a minor so I need to wait for them to get a showcase in a place that is not age-restricted. I can’t wait though because I know I am missing a lot! 

**“No, I didn’t get to go back with my parents. I had to stay here because I had some showcases. A lot of clubs called us at this round,”** Joshua says with a smile, proud of this little achievement.  
  


**“Did you get to sell some of your albums?!”**  
  


**“Yes! And the amazing part is that a lot of people even asked for our autographs!”** He jumps up and down out of excitement.  
  


**“Okay, now I am jealous! It’s a matter of time before I have to share you with the rest of the world or, even worse, you will forget about me!”** I cross my arms and make a pout.  
  


**“Don’t say that! You know you’re my favourite little bro.”** He lifts his hand, waiting for a high-five.  
  


**“And you’re my favourite hyung!”** I high-five him and we bro-hug.  
  


**“Aww, how sweet of you! Did you put too much sugar in your milk today?”** Joshua asks in a sarcastic tone.  
  


**“Hyung, I didn’t even drink milk at breakfast!”** I chuckle before getting serious again. **“Speaking of the band, when will I be able to watch you and the other Jeonghan’s bitches perform?”**  
  


**“Soon, I promise. We’re organising a huge performance for the school’s festival. They asked me to get the band playing for the ending stage. It would be during the winter break, though.”**  
  


**“And you call that soon?”** I cry out at the thought of waiting for months until the break actually arrives.  
  


**“Be patient, Soonyoung…”** Joshua tries to comfort me by patting my back.  
  


**“You know that it’s not my forte but I’ll try…”** I let out a sigh.  
  


**“Oh right, Soonyoun-”** I cover Joshua’s mouth with my hand before he could say what he wanted to say.  
  


**“Shhh. Was that the bell?”** I ask, pupils shaking as I panic due to being late for the first class when I could be on time for the first time in years.  
  


**“I t...nk...o”** Joshua tries to say but his voice is muffled by my hand.  
  


**“Oh my god, I’m late! I need to rush to class! I even got here early today! It’s all your fault, hyung!”** I shout as Joshua pulls my hand off of his mouth.   
  


**“Yeah, yeah, whatever it makes you sleep at night”** He deadpans. **“Don’t waste more time and run!”**  
  


**“Yeah! See you later at lunch, hyung!”**

I sprint through the hallways to get to my class. I’m super late, nothing new about that. I reached the point where the teacher has given up on me as I’m a lost cause. She doesn’t even get angry at me anymore.   
However, for the sake of this last year, I’m willing to change this habit of mine, I swear!

Once I get to class, I sit at my desk and I am out of breath. I have probably left my lungs at the gate as I can’t seem to catch my breath.    
I feel a hand on my shoulder and, when I turn my head, I see my other best friend offering me a bottle of water. 

**“You’re finally here! I thought you got lost on the way to class!”**

Lee Seokmin is the first person I met in this school and he’s the bestest of friends you could ask for! 

As tall as me, dark brown hair and eyes that disappear every time he smiles. His smile is so bright that I often tell people that they should wear sunglasses to look at him as he’s a literal sunshine!    
Like me, he cannot stay put, not even for a second. We improvise a lot of skits and we are known as _‘Seoksoon’_ , the best comic duo of our school and group of friends. For a while, we even had our own radio broadcasted in the school and it was really popular. In the end, we had to stop doing that because of how busy we were getting due to studying and various tests.    
Like Joshua, Seokmin likes singing and sometimes uploads his covers on Soundcloud. I swear, with his voice, he could get into any agency and quickly become a top star but he doesn’t want that. He enjoys singing as a hobby and he said the idol life would be just too much for him, he wants to have a quiet life.    
The two of us plus Joshua are a perfect trio, especially when it comes to music and anime that we often watch together at my house. 

  
**“I came early but, as I was talking with Shua hyung, I didn’t notice it was already time for class!”** I say after gulping down half bottle of water.  
  


**“Has Shua hyung told you about the festival? I can’t wait!”** He makes a high-pitched screech, arms flailing.  
  


**“You already knew it?!”** I ask, shocked.  
  


**“Yeah, he told me about that a couple of days ago through text,”** He says as if it wasn’t a big deal.  
  


**“Wow, I feel betrayed!”** I put a hand over my chest to put emphasis on the sentence. We both giggle. **“However, I’m super excited about it! Up until now, we’ve only got to listen to their song through their Soundcloud but we can finally see them live!”** I clap my hands in excitement like a seal.  
  


**“Knowing them, it will be fantastic!”**  
  


**“It’s going to be lit!”**  
  


**“Kwon! Lee! I understand that you hadn’t seen each other in a while but you can catch up during the break. Now it’s time to focus on the new English writer I’m about to explain!”** The teacher scolds us as soon as she sets foot in the classroom. I bet she hasn’t even heard us talking but only guessed that we would be chatting.   
  


**“Sorry, Teacher Kim,”** we both say in unison as we open our books and shut our mouths. 

However, Seokmin and I are too excited about the news to really focus on what the teacher is saying. We need to let out the fanboy-side of us, so we end up communicating through pieces of papers while pretending to take some notes as the teacher goes on with her lesson about some English author whose name I didn’t catch. 

By doing that, the rest of the class goes by rather quickly and so do the other classes until it’s lunchtime. I really want to use this time to talk with Joshua about the details of the performance. I bet he already knows the song they will sing and their concept. I need to investigate. 

**“I’m starving!”** Seokmin says, rubbing his hand over his belly, as he gets up from his seat.  
  


**“Me too! We better get going to the canteen or else they will snatch the best dishes!”** I say, bolting out of class.  
  


**“Hey, Soonyoung! Wait for me!”** Seokmin runs out of the class, trying to keep up with my fast pace. 

We arrive at the canteen and get in the queue to get our food. We chat a bit with our classmates and, after we got our trays filled with every kind of food kindly offered by the cooks as they kept saying we are too skinny, we get to our table. 

While getting closer to the table, we notice a guy whose red-brownish locks highlighted his tan skin and his sharp jawline. He is sitting and talking to Joshua. We haven’t seen him before and he surely isn’t from this school as he doesn’t wear a uniform. However, by the way they are talking, he seems close to Joshua. 

We stop right before the table so we won’t interrupt them but at the same time we are able to eavesdrop a bit of their conversation. 

**“Well, we need to discuss it with the others, to check if we can do that,”** the guy says with his honey-coated voice.  
  


**“I haven’t talked to the owner of that place yet, so there’s still no guarantees.”**  
  


**“Yeah, but I still need to ask them if they are okay with that. I’ll let you know as soon as possible so you can contact the owner and talk with him. Now, I have to leave. Got some stuff to buy. See you later, hyung.”** The guy says as he high-fives Joshua.  
  


**“See ya!”**

The guy stands up and we can’t help but notice how tall he actually is. He’s a fucking beanpole! A good looking one if I should be honest. When said beanpole walks away, Joshua finally notices us standing there next to the table with our mouths half open. He smiles. 

**“Close your mouths and sit down before your food gets cold.”**  
  


**“Yes, hyung,”** I say, nudging Seokmin with the elbow to make him move.  
  


**“Hyung, who’s the guy who just left?”** Seokmin asks as he sits beside Joshua.  
  


**“He’s one of Jeonghan’s bitches. His name’s Mingyu.”** Joshua says while pointing at the direction where Mingyu went just a while ago.  
  


**“Oh, now I get why his voice sounded familiar,”** Seokmin says.  
  


**“Wait. Did we just see _THE_ Mingyu? The rapper of your band who has also great vocals?”** I ask, the tone of my voice going at least an octave higher.  
  


**“Don’t you dare say that in front of him! He already thinks he’s an Adonis so do not add fuel to the fire, please.”** Joshua shifts in his seat to point his finger at me to warn me.  
  


**“Well, with that looks, he can add as much fuel as he wants to the fire.”** Seokmin wiggles his eyebrows to emphasise the concept.  
  


**“Seokmin has a point, though. He’s tall, handsome, has a great voice and I bet there’s a lot more he can do.”** I say while putting a mouthful of kimchi in my mouth.  
  


**“You’re right. He’s also a perfect housewife. He can cook, clean the house and take care of almost everything.”** Joshua lists down, eyes losing focus as he recalls the things Mingyu can do.  
  


**“Does he even have any flaw?”** Seokmin says, his tone as if to state that it’s impossible that a perfect man like Mingyu could lack in something.  
  


**“He’s clumsy as hell. Do not give any fragile object to him...he can break it in a matter of seconds.”** Joshua proudly says while looking at Seokmin.  
  


**“I’m ready to give him my heart. I think I would be thanking him even if he broke it or stepped over it.”** Seokmin jokingly says just to annoy Joshua who, instead, looks a bit defeated by Seokmin’s words.  
  


**“Oh! Finally someone as talented and clumsy me!”** I step in the conversation to lower a bit the tension between those two.  
  


**“You’re just clumsy and stupid, Soonyoung,”** Joshua says, his head turning towards me.  
  


**“Hyung! Why do you always have to treat me like this?”** I whine as I put down my chopsticks and everybody laughs.  
  


**“Oh, right. Hyung, we actually heard you and Mingyu hyung talking about checking some places. It’s about a new showcase?”** Seokmin asks, his eyes lit up at the perspective of a show to attend.  
  


**“Probably yes. We want to get known outside the circle of clubs and pubs so we need to go around to find some new places where we can play.”** Joshua says. **“There are a lot of people who don’t really like to go to pubs and we want to reach to them too.”**  
  


**“To do that it would be great if you could get to perform in one of the cafés around the school area. Plus, I would be able to see you playing the guitar!”** I throw my hands in the air at the thought.  
  


**“But you have already watched me do that at least a thousands of times at home!”**  
  


**“It’s not the same. Do not argue with me...hyung.”** The last word coming out with less confidence compared to the authoritarian one at the beginning of the sentence and the three of us burst into laughter. 

  
We spend the rest of our lunch break talking about our holidays and the new anime that is now airing and that we absolutely need to watch together.    
The moment out trays are empty and the bell rings, we part ways. Joshua has another shift so he goes back to the library while we go to our next class. 

Luckily, afternoon classes go by in the same way as the morning ones and soon it’s time to go back home.    
The bell rings and everyone bolts out of the class, already tired despite this being just the first day of school.    
I walk Seokmin to the school gate and wait for him to get into his father’s car before going to the library and wait for Joshua to end his shift. 

Once I get there, I go straight to the manga section where he usually is around this time. He’s surely going through some of his favourite books. However, I am wrong. He’s not here. Actually, he’s nowhere to be found. I look around and go through every aisle but I can’t seem to find him. 

_ ‘Where the fuck did he go?’ _

I decide to not waste time going around like that and talk to the girl working at the info desk who has a crush on Joshua. She doesn’t take her eyes off of him so she surely knows where he is. 

**“Noona, hello!”** I greet her with a smile on my face. **“Do you perhaps know where Joshua hyung is?”**

**“Hi, Soonyoung. Joshua left around 30 minutes ago, he didn’t tell you?”** She asks with a confused expression as he knows that whenever Joshua left before the end of his shift, he would’ve texted me. 

**“No, and it’s weird,”** I mumble. **“Well, thank you noona! Have a great day!”** I wave at her and walk away. 

As I make my way home, a lot of questions pop up in my mind. 

_ ‘Why he hasn’t sent me a text? Did something happen? Should I be worried? Naah...if something did really happen he would’ve told me, right? Maybe he had to rehearse with the band. Thinking about it Mingyu did say they would see each other later.’ _

  
  


Little did I knew that Jisoo leaving early that day would be leading to a series of events that would’ve made things in my life a little bit more interesting.  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Important announcement to all of the soonhoonists at the end of the chapter!!!

Walking while having your head up in the clouds never brought any good to people, on the whole, let alone to a clumsy ass like mine. Thus, I shouldn’t be too surprised when as soon as I get around the corner, I bump into someone.  
The impact is too sudden and unexpected that I get scared and lose my balance, falling on the ground with a loud thud.

_‘Joshua was right. I am a goofball indeed.’_

Surely blushing due to the embarrassment, I take a peek above me to see if the person I’ve bumped into is still here. Standing in front of me, there’s a guy. Even while I’m on the ground he looks like he’s shorter than me. He has raven black hair in contrast with his pale skin that makes his rosy lips stand out. He is glaring at me and I know for sure that this is not a good sign.

**”Watch where you’re going!”** The guy says through gritted teeth.

**”I’m sorry. I was thinking and I haven’t paid attention to the street for a while,”** I say in an apologetic tone while getting up from the ground.

**”Well, next time try to think less.”** His tone still aggressive.

**”But you could have paid attention too, you know? If you were so focused on the road you’ve surely seen me,”** I say using my height as an advantage to try and scare him.

**“I wouldn’t have imagined bumping into such a whiny kid,”** He sarcastically says looking annoyed at the situation.

**“Said the one who really looks like a kid,”** I say with a smirk on my face. I soon learned that doing that was a big mistake.

He grabs me by the tie and tugs on it, bringing me to the same level of his face. **“You’re lucky I’m running late so I can’t properly teach you a lesson. However, remember this: Don’t you dare call me a kid ever again.”**

He releases my tie and I almost fall flat on my face. Without even looking at me, he leaves and not even once he looks back. 

_‘Wow. What did just happen? Did I really meet a shorty who had the guts of calling me a whiny kid? He’s lucky I didn’t get too worked up or else who knows what I could’ve done.’_

I shrug my shoulders, fix my tie and keep walking towards my house trying not to think about that shorty.  
I’m positive none of this would’ve happened if Joshua had been with me and hadn’t abandoned me to my cruel destiny. Speaking, well thinking of Joshua, he still hasn’t contacted me at all.

_‘Did he really forget about me?’_

  
I pick the phone from my pocket and open the kakao talk app to send him a text.

**Hoshiya:**

_Oi, hyung. Where are you?_   
_Noona said that you left work._   
_Why haven’t you told me?_

**Joshuji:**

_Are you sure?  
I remember sending you a text._

**Hoshiya:**

_I got nothing._

**Joshuji:**

_Shit._  
_I hadn’t noticed that it’s unsent!_  
_Maybe the wifi wasn’t working when I sent the text._  
_I’m sorry, Soonie. Mingyu came to fetch me because we had to go to his house and practice a few new songs._  
_I will soon make it up to you, I promise._

**Hoshiya:**

_You better be true to your words!_  
_How’s the practice going?_

**Joshuji:**

_To be honest, we haven’t started yet._  
_Jihoon and Seungcheol aren’t here yet._  
_You’re already home?_

**Hoshiya:**

_Not yet.  
I’m on my way._

**Joshuji:**

_What are you waiting for?_  
_Fasten your pace!_  
_Soon it will be dark._

**Hoshiya:**

_What am I? 5 years old?_

**Joshuji:**

_Actually, you’re 3 but I’ll let you believe you’re a grown up, my little man._

**Hoshiya:**

_Not you too, hyung._

**Joshuji:**

_Hahaha, I will never let you live._  
_Btw, I need to get going. Those two stragglers are here._  
_Talk to you later!_

**Hoshiya:**

_Yeah, talk to you later!_

I plug in the earphones and put the phone back into my pocket. I follow Josh’s advice and start walking faster to get home as soon as possible as this day has really stressed me out.

I reach the driveway of my house and I know that I will find nobody home as my parents are still working. They won’t be home before 9 in the evening and in my current state it’s great because I can go straight into my room and then head in the bathroom for a shower.

As I set foot into my room, I throw the bag on the floor next to my bed, and look for my pyjamas so that I can go and have a long hot shower. It’s September so technically it’s still summer but I can already feel the autumnal chill creeping on my skin, making me shiver a bit. Moreover, it's widely known that the warmth helps your muscles to relax and that what I really need right now. I feel so tense.

I get in the shower but not before connecting my phone to the bluetooth speaker, blasting some music to drown my thoughts in a sea of upbeats songs.  
I stay still under the stream of hot water for a while before the notes of a ballad start filling the tiny space of the bathroom. I don’t know why but my mind swiftly goes to that guy I bumped into before.

_‘What a rude asshole.’_

Just having to recall his features, his glaring eyes, his soft-looking lips gets on my nerves. I want to make that image of him fade from my mind, that’s why I bolt out of the shower, almost losing balance, to change that song into a more upbeat one. However, it doesn’t work because I keep on thinking of that scene, of his piercing eyes and his strong grip on my tie. At this moment, I know that the only way to get him out of my head is to talk about it with someone and that someone is Seokmin.

Talking with him it’s better than going to any session with a therapist. Every time I tell him something sad or weird that happened to me, he always finds a way to make me laugh. Then I totally forget about the issue because we end up changing the topic and talking about something less serious like the new fan-made video he found about his ship in the current anime we’re watching.

After what it feels like hours but in reality it’s just 30 minutes, I get out of the shower, dry my hair and put my pyjamas. I turn off the music and then run into my room where I plop on my bed, phone in my hands.  
I check for the time. It’s still 7 pm, so there’s still a little bit of time left before my parents come home. I press the call button and wait for Seokmin to answer. It takes three rings.

**“Here’s doctor Lee Seokmin speaking, how can I help you today?”** He asks in what he thinks is a professional tone.

**“Am I disturbing you right now?”** I ask, worried I might’ve interrupted his anime binge-watching session.

**“Yeah, you always disturb me,”** He tries to deadpan but the little giggle at the end betrays him.

**“Wow, is this how you treat your best friend when he calls you?!”** I pretend to be hurt and Seokmin stifles a laugh.

**“Okay, okay, I’ll stop. Did something happen?”**

**“Kind of…”**

**“Well, then tell me everything. I’m all ears.”**

I tell him all the things that happened since he left school and I got back to the library up to the ‘incident’. I leave out the part of me thinking about that shorty under the shower because I know he will mock me, calling me a creepy pervert.

**“What a jerk!”** It’s the first thing Seokmin says.

**“I know, right? He could’ve said sorry and keep on living as if nothing ever happened.”**

**“True but he could’ve been angry. Like something may have happened to him and he was already on edge. Bumping into you was the last straw that broke the camel’s back,”** Seokmin says, trying to find a way to explain that guy’s behaviour.

**“Even though you may be right about this, he has no rights whatsoever to take it out on people he doesn’t know! It’s just rude,”** I say not wanting to lose the argument.

**“I have to admit that you do have a point. However, what can you resolve now by getting angry? Just calm down and think that you won’t meet him ever again. Seoul it’s big, how many chances there are that you can actually see him again?”** Seokmin tries to comfort me, knowing that I get worked up really quickly.

**“I hope you’re right. However, let me tell you that if I ever happen to meet him again, I will have a quick talk with Mr I-forgot-good-manners-at-home. Wait...that’s too long of a name.** **Hhm... "** I take a pause, thinking of a nickname for that guy. **"Should I call him vertically challenged?! Oh my! That’s it! That’s perfect!”** I throw a fist up in the air as a sign of victory.

**“What the hell, Soonyoung?”** He asks while laughing out loud. **“Calm down, tiger. Just let it go and let’s talk about something else instead.”** I can hear rustling sounds from the other end and I can practically see him shifting on the bed to find a better position to speak on the phone. **“In the end, did you get ahold of Joshua hyung?”**

**“Yes...I texted him and he said that he was at Mingyu’s to practice with the other Jeonghan’s bitches.”**

**“Well, at least now you know where he is and you can stop worry about our hyung,”** Seokmin says, mocking me because he knows that I was already overthinking when I knew that Josh left without me.

**“He said that he will soon make it up to me. Do you want to bet that he’s going to come here after the practice?”** I chuckle.

**“I don’t want to bet because it’s a matter of fact that he’s going to come there. He basically lives at your house.”** I can feel Seokmin rolling his eyes.

**“That’s not true! We take turns! I take over his house too!”**

**“Hmm..I’m sure something is going to happen between you two...if you know what I mean.”**

**“I can see you wiggling your eyebrows from here and no. Nothing’s going to happen. Just because we’re gay doesn’t it mean that we’ll end up together. You’re gay too and that doesn’t mean that soon one of us is going to ask the other out. Plus, Joshua hyung already has a crush on someone…”** I say, willingly leaving out the name of Joshua’s crush to check something.

**“Who is he? Where is he from? Do we know him? Tell me, please! Pretty please!”** Seokmin begs, dying to know who the said crush is.

**“I’m sorry, I can’t tell you. I made an oath and I have to keep it until the day I die.”**

**“C’mon! I’m your best friend! You know I won’t tell anyone!”** Seokmin whines.

**“And tell me Seokmin, why are you suddenly so interested in Shua’s love life?”** I ask him, a smirk on my face.

**“I’m just curious. He’s my friend after all.”** Seokmin’s voice cracks in the middle of the sentence.

**“Are you sure about that?”** Putting pressure on Seokmin is the only way to make him talk and, sadly for him, it’s what I do best. 

**“Yeah?”** It comes out from Seokmin more as a question than as a statement.

**“I don’t believe you. Do you perhaps have a crush on Joshua hyung?”** That’s it, that’s the final question.

**“Pfff what are you talking about?”** His voice cracks again, in a way that it makes me understand that he definitely likes Shua.

**“A-ah! I knew it! You like Hong Jisoo, you like Hong Joshua!”** I sing-song to him while making a little victory dance on my bed.

**“I swear to god, Soonyoung. Stop it,”**

**“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anybody...maybe.”**

**“Let it slip out of your mouth and you’re a dead man.”** He says, his tone changing into one more threatening.

We keep silent for a second before we both start laughing out loud. I assure him that I won’t tell Joshua and then we keep on gossiping about our friends’ relationship until I hear the front door opening, signalling that my parents are finally home. I hang up the phone call and run downstairs to greet them as the good son that I am.

Today is my turn to cook dinner and to tell the truth, I’m not a great chef. However, I know my way around the kitchen: all I need is a recipe book, the right ingredients, a lot of willpower and dinner is done! I would like to learn how to cook more elaborate dishes but my parents don’t trust me enough to do that...yet.   
I get the dinner ready while my parents shower and relax a bit watching the tv. When they come home at this hour they’re always so tired that I would feel bad if I asked them to help me cook. That’s why I only call them when everything’s ready and they just have to eat. Usually, the atmosphere is very light as we try to keep out from our conversation the problems for school and work. That kind of topic is for those nights when my parents are less tired and can actually think straight, without having their minds clouded by the tiredness of a day’s work. We share funny stories or new gossips like co-workers flirting in the office or classmates breaking up in the middle of the hallway at school.

After dinner, I am helping my mom washing the dishes when I see with the corner of my eyes my phone screen lighting up followed by a loud ‘katok’. I dry my hands on the towel and take the phone from the counter. I see Joshua’s name on the screen and tap on the notification to check the message.

**Joshuji:**

_Give me 10 minutes and I’ll be there._

**Hoshiya:**

_???_

**Joshuji:**

_I’ll bring ice cream._

**Hoshiya:**

_Well, then the door to my house is open and I will welcome the ice cream with open arms._

**Joshuji:**

_Oh, so it is like that?_ You want _me just for the ice cream?_

**Hoshiya:**

_Of course. 5 years of friendship and you’ve noticed that just now?_

**Joshuji:**

_The disrespect._

**Hoshiya:**

_C’mon, you know I’m joking!_  
_I’ll tell my parents you’re coming here._  
_Should we watch a movie?_

**Joshuji:**

_Let’s start a new anime.  
_ _You choose which one._

**Hoshiya:**

_I adore you, hyung!  
See you in a while!_

**“Mom! Joshua hyung is coming here!”** I shout as I walk in the living room where my mother had gone after finishing washing the dishes.

**“Is he going to sleep here?”** She asks already getting up from the couch.

**“I think so.”**

**“Okay, so we’ll leave. The living room is yours, we’ll go upstairs to watch the tv,”** she says while nudging my father to make him stand up.

**“Thank you, mom! I’ll bring some ice cream to you later.”**

**“Ice cream? Joshua did something, didn’t he?”** My father asks. He knows that if ice cream is involved, it means that Joshua has something to make amends for.

**“Yup, he forgot to tell me that he wouldn’t be able to come home with me today,”** I whine to my parents.

**“Oh, poor you!”** My father cooes while pinching my cheek.

**“Dad! Don’t mock me!”**

**“Don’t worry, my son. I’ll take him away.”** My mother grabs my father by the arm and drags him upstairs so he will stop torturing me.

**“Thank you! I owe you one!”** I shout as they disappeared upstairs.

My parents really got used to this. It’s so Joshua-like to randomly come home after dinner bringing snacks with him. Every time he does that, it then ends in the same way with us passing out on the couch because it’s too late and we’re tired as fuck. The same thing happens when I am the one to crash at his place.  
The first few times this happened, we were not prepared and so we’d end up sleeping with our clothes on and then ask the other to lend some clean clothes the day after. However, things have changed so we now always bring a bag with our pyjamas and a set of new clothes whenever we plan to go to the other’s house. At this point, we should consider the idea of freeing up some space in our closet so that we can leave at least one set of pyjamas and a set of new clothes. This way we wouldn’t be bothered about bringing our ‘survival kit’ every time.

My train of thoughts gets interrupted by the doorbell ringing. I check for the time and 10 minutes sharp have passed from the last text. Joshua’s on time. I run to the door and as soon as I open it, I’m faced with a black plastic bag.

**“Ice cream, aaaaah!”** Joshua screams while shaking the plastic bag.

**“Was that a pun? Was I supposed to laugh at that?”** I ask, facepalming.

**“Yes?”**

**“Please don’t do that ever again.”** I sigh.

**“You don’t understand the art of this joke,”** He says, sassily getting his way into my house **“By the way, I brought ice cream as I promised.”**

**“Strawberry and chocolate?”** I ask with expectant eyes.

**“Of course, your favourite flavours,”** He says giving me a little smile.

**“You are indeed the best hyung!”** I snatch the bag from his hands **“The bowls are already on the counter waiting for the ice cream. You go get changed or else you will pass out still dressed like the last time you slept here. Roger that?”**

**“Yes, sir!”** He makes the salute like a soldier and then marches towards the stairs. 

While Joshua goes upstairs to get into his pyjamas, I walk in the kitchen to put the ice cream into the bowls. I add some toppings like chocolate chips and granola to the bowls belonging to my parents and I bring them into their room.  
As Joshua takes a lot to get changed, I go to the living room to fix the sheets and the pillows on the pull-out couch. After doing that, I go to grab our bowls of ice cream only to find Joshua already on the couch waiting for me when I walk back in the living room.

**“I’m ready to eat this ice cream,”** Joshua says rubbing his hands.

I hand him his bowl then I throw myself on the couch. Two minutes sitting here and we are already fighting for the blankets. When we’ve found our balance, we start digging in the ice cream while watching the first episode of Black Clover.

The thing I love the most when we’re together watching the tv is that as soon as there’s one of those epic scenes, we look at each other and keep on making comments until we realise we lost another important scene. That’s why we then need to rewind part of the episode and try not to talk until the end.  
However, tonight is different. We’re halfway through the episode when I notice that Joshua is not really here.

**“Hyung, what’s up?”** I ask as I pause the episode.

**“Hm?”**

**“You’re not following it,”** I say while pointing at the tv.

**“That’s not true.”** Joshua tries to defend.

**“Hyung, you know there’s no use in lying.”** I reprimand him.

**“You’re right and I’m sorry. It’s just that I’m too tired,”** he says letting out a sigh and slowly sliding onto the couch until he’s completely lying. 

I turn off the tv and lie on my side of the couch, facing Joshua. I bring my blankets up until I’m covering my chin and he does the same.

**“Is it because of the practice?”** I ask, yawning as sleep starts creeping.

**“Yeah. We need to practice a lot so that we’re sure we’ll do our best when we perform and, to be honest, it’s a little bit exhausting.”** Joshua yawns too. He looks so drowsy.

**“I know what you mean but if you want to get known, you need to sacrifice a lot. That’s because all of you are fighting together to achieve your dreams, am I right?”** I ask, the tone of my voice suddenly going serious.

**“Are you trying to sound more mature?”** Joshua giggles before yawning again.

**“From time to time I have to say things like this or else you will really think that I have no brain. You keep telling me that I’m 5 and I’m scared that sooner or later I will really forget I am actually 18!”** I jokingly say to make him smile a bit.

**“I really can’t with you.”** Joshua smiles and shakes his head.

**“I’m glad I made you smile, hyung.”**

**“Thank you, Soonie.”** He brings one of his hands out of the blankets to ruffle my hair. **“By the way, I’m terribly sorry for today. I swear I thought the text went through.”**

**“Don’t worry but don’t do that ever again, okay? Check twice next time because when you’re not with me, things happen.”** And here I go again, thinking of that short guy.

**“Things? What do you mean?”** Joshua asks visibly confused.

**“I met a vertically challenged asshole who forgot what good manners are.”** The tone of my voice and my expression showing how annoyed I am at this situation. 

**“Wow, what did he do that got you so worked up, wild hamster?”** He chuckles, poking my puffed cheeks.

**“Let’s leave this topic for another day. It’s late now and you need to sleep as you’re tired! Plus tomorrow I have to go to school while you need to be at the library...”**

**“...and to the practice,”** Joshua adds. **“However, this time I can come home with you before going to Mingyu’s.”**

**“That’s perfect! Maybe this time I can avoid meeting people who got a stick up of their ass,”** I say while shifting on the couch.

**“Soonyoung!”** Joshua almost shouts and hits my back that he is now facing **“Stop! Go to sleep!”**

**“Yeah, yeah,”** I deadpan.

**“Good night, Soonie.”** He sing-songs.

**“You too, hyung!”**

And like that, it’s a matter of time before we drift in Morpheus wide arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the chapter!  
> I'm curious about this vertically challenged guy's true identity...who is he? hahaha 
> 
> By the way, the 'vobo, rabo & pabo' group chat is planning to hold the soonhoon awards! The idea is to let other people know about your soonhoon works so if you're interested and want more info, you can check the thread here https://bit.ly/2KVbH8o or dm me at @Yleisnotonfire1


	3. Chapter 3

It’s 7 in the morning when the alarm on my phone goes off. Shinee’s Ring Ding Dong echoes in the living room signalling that I have to wake up. Damned alarm and who invented it!  
If it was a normal day, I would sleep at least 20 minutes more and in fact, I don’t really want to get up, but today I need to rush as Joshua has to get ready here to go to work.   
Do you know how people believe in the stereotype that women take hours to get ready? If that was really the case, then Joshua is a woman. Or maybe he’s worse.    
It takes him 20 minutes just to shower and he doesn’t get out of the bathroom if every strand of his hair is not fixed in the way he wants to.    
If I want to get to school on time, no if I want to get to school, I need to conquer the bathroom before he does that. If he gets it before me, we won’t ever be ready, not even for the end of the first period.    
I go grab my things in my room and head to the bathroom. I get ready and wear the uniform in 10 minutes. After that, it’s the time of the truth. Is Joshua hyung still asleep?  
I head downstairs to check on him and of course, he is still sleeping.   
Damn, I really believe that not even an earthquake would be able to wake him up! 

**“Shua hyung, wake up!”** I hate to do this because he will hold it against me for the entire day but I have to.

**“Five more minutes, mom,”** Joshua mumbles still half asleep. Do you get now why we are alike?

**“Hyung, I’m not your mother and no, you can’t sleep anymore. I didn’t get to do that yesterday and you won’t do that today. Plus, it’s late and you still need to eat breakfast!”** I scold him, mimicking what my mom did to me yesterday: being insisting until I got up from the bed. 

**“Do I really need to?”** He turns towards me and rubs the sleep away from his eyes. 

**“Yes. You need to work and, what’s more important, you can’t skip meals! Now, get up!”** I take the blankets away from him. 

**“Okay, I got it! There’s no need to be this annoying!”** He gets up and heads toward the kitchen. 

As mom hasn’t already woken up, I am the one that has to make breakfast. There isn’t enough time to cook something gourmet, so we just eat some cereals with fresh milk. Then Joshua goes to the bathroom to have a brisk shower while I sit on the couch to watch a little bit of tv. There’s nothing interesting as there are only the same endless morning dramas. I was zapping like there’s no tomorrow when I decide to put on the music channel and clean the kitchen while waiting. 

**“Wow! One day, you will be a great homemaker!”** Joshua suddenly appears in the kitchen, startling me. 

**“Well, when my parents are not home or still asleep, someone else has to clean the house,”** I say while putting the bowls in the dishwasher. 

**“And that someone is you?”** He asks stifling a laugh.

**“Of course! Who else there is in this room aside from me and you?”** The question full of sarcasm. 

**“But if you can’t even tidy up your own room!”** Joshua almost yells but manages to keep his tone as quiet as possible. 

**“Hey, my room is like a different world and you already know that. It’s like...Narnia!”**

**“I can’t…”** He laughs and shakes his head. 

**“You just need to put up with me and not complain,”** I say patting his back as to comfort him. 

**“Dear little bro, I’m doing that since you’ve stepped back in Korea,”** Joshua says trying to keep his cool. 

**“That was so funny,”** I say while fake laughing. **“Now, move that ass of yours or we will be later than usual!”**

We grab our things and get out of my house to finally walk to school. During the trip, we stop at our favourite cafè because Joshua has to grab his coffee.    
When we get at the gate, I check the time and I’m surprised at us. Today I’m on time for classes which is a rare occasion. These are the times the teachers of the first period should appreciate: students sacrificing hours of sleep just to sit in their desks and listen to them. I’ve once read on the Net that your brain is not even fully functioning before 9 am, so why starting school at 8? It’s scientifically proven that we cannot focus so what’s the point of having classes this early? Can’t they change at least this one thing? 

**“See you at lunch, hyung?”** I ask before parting ways. 

**“Yeah! Have a good day and try to stay awake as you woke up at dawn!”** Joshua jokes.

**“You too, have a good day and try not to flirt with too many students!”** I reply. 

**“I may flirt but my heart is already taken and you know that!”** Joshua says before disappearing into the library. 

As for me, I walk in the class and I quickly go sitting next to Seokmin. He’s always the first to arrive at school and I sometimes believe that he’s the one opening the school gates, not the janitor. 

**“Good morning!”** I greet him. 

**“Morning!”** Seokmin greets back, one of his big and bright smiles plastered on his face. **“Joshua slept at yours?”**

**“How do you know that? Did you put cameras in my house?”** I ask while embracing myself as to protect myself.

**“Idiot! The only times you come early is when he stays at your house.”** Seokmin rolls his eyes. 

**“Yup, he came to my house yesterday. He did say that he had to make it up to me.”** I say while grabbing my things from the backpack. 

**“He’s a man of his words,”** Seokmin says, looking a bit dreamy. 

**“He indeed is!”** I nod my head. 

**“What about you? Are you still mad at him?”** Seokmin suddenly asks. 

**“No? Why should I be? Not that it was a big matter anyway.”** I reply a little bit confused. 

**“I’m not talking about Joshua. It’s about yesterday’s accident.”** He says as it was obvious from the start that he was referring to that. 

**“Oh my god, Seok! I had stopped thinking about it but now you have reminded me of...him!”** I groan. 

**“I’ll give you two minutes and you’ll forget about him again.”** Seokmin must have seen my confused face as he continues saying **“** First **period today is maths.”**

**“That guy is totally forgotten now. I have an even worse problem to solve now.”** I want to bang my head on the desk. I hate maths. 

**“Literally.”** Seokmin chuckles. 

I am about to reply when the teacher walks into the class while telling us to go sitting to our places as he has to take attendance. 

Except for the first period, the school day goes by pretty quickly and uneventful, except for Seokmin almost choking on his food when Joshua said that one of our classmates asked for his number, it was super. The bell signalling the end of this school day rings and we are all grateful to it as the teacher had been talking for an hour straight without pausing, not even for a second. Seokmin leaves first as he has something to do later today while I stay a little longer in class because the teacher has something to ask a bunch of us. 

When I finally get outside the library, I find Joshua already waiting for me. 

**“Hyung!”** I shout while running towards him. 

**“Soonie!”** He waves at me. 

**“For a while, I was afraid of not finding you here.”**

**“I had told you I would’ve walked home with you and then I would’ve gone to the practice.”** Joshua rolls his eyes. 

**“What a kind hyung I have! He takes care of his little brother!”** I pinch his cheek as I speak. 

**“Don’t overthink!”** He swats my hand away from his cheek. **“It’s just because I need to grab my things at home and because I need you to listen to the new song we’ve recorded.”**

**“Wow, you have already recorded a new song?”** I ask, excited to hear a new masterpiece. 

**“Yes, Jihoon composed it and even wrote the lyrics!”** He says while looking for the song on his phone. 

**“Oh, I didn’t know Jihoon produced songs,”** I say, suddenly intrigued by this Jihoon. 

**“There are a lot of things you don’t know about him. He may be a lazy ass but he has a lot of skills hidden behind that laziness.”** Joshua says, still not looking up from his phone. 

**“He must be really good if you’re praising him like this. You rarely compliment people as you prefer roasting them,”** I say, expecting him to hit me. 

He doesn’t do that but we both start laughing. Joshua finally finds the song so we can start heading home. He passes me one of the earpieces and when he’s sure I put it, he hits the play button. The song starts and we keep silent until the song ends, heads bobbing to the rhythm. It’s really beautiful and the feelings of the lyrics hit you really hard even though you may get tricked by the up-tempo beat. 

**“So, what do you think of it?”** Joshua asks and he’s a bit nervous about the feedback, I can tell it from his tone. 

**“It’s really great, like really.”** It’s the only thing I can say as I still need to get myself together after listening to it. 

**“Really? Aren’t you saying that because you’re my friend?”** He asks still unsure. 

**“I know that I’m biased but I’m dead serious or else I wouldn’t have said that.”** I stay quiet for a couple of seconds before adding **“I’m positive that with this song you will have a lot of new fans.”**

**“I hope it will turn out as you said.”** He sighs.

**“If that won’t happen, it would be the demonstration that people do not understand anything about music,”** I deadpan. 

**“Again, your opinion is biased!”** He points a finger at me. 

**“Oh my! It’s not true! I only speak the truth and you know that!”** I yell. 

We had been quiet for a while when I suddenly say **“Oh, right. That Jihoon is really good. Every time I hear him singing, my eyes start filling with tears.”**

**“You can say that! Our maknae has a very sweet and clear voice that gets right to your heart,”** He states like a proud father. 

**“Maknae? Is he the youngest in the band?”** I ask shocked. 

**“Yup, he’s the same age as you.”**

**“Really? I don’t know why but I have always assumed that you were more or less of the same age!”** I still can’t believe that. 

**“No, it’s just Jeonghan, Seungcheol and I that are same age friends, the rest of them is younger than us and Jihoon is the maknae. Despite the young age, is better than us in a lot of things!”** Here again the father-like tone...he can’t stop doing that. 

**“I bet he’s cocky because of that.”** I automatically roll my eyes. 

**“Not at all! He keeps saying that he can’t do things even though he aces them when he actually does them. He’s also caring for his hyungs even though he won’t admit that he loves us. He’s a funny one too when you actually get to know him.”**

**“He can’t be as funny as you.”** I joke as Joshua can’t compare to the Seoksoon duo. 

**“You could say that!”**

**“But I bet he beats you when it comes to being humble…”**

**“Stop it or I will be seriously offended”** He chuckles. 

Talking and joking, we get to the driveway of my house. I invite him to get in to drink a cup of tea and eat something before leaving. 

**“Are you sure you don’t want to come in? Not even if I make a cup of your favourite tea?”** I try to persuade him. 

**“I can’t, Soonie. I need to go to Mingyu’s and I don’t want to be late.”**

**“Are you one hundred** percent **sure?”** I insist. 

**“Yes. Maybe I can come over after the practice if it’s not too late at night.”** He ruffles my hair. 

**“You know that it’s never too late to come over,”** Says my mom suddenly popping from behind us, startling us a little bit.

**“Mom! You’re already home?”** I ask her. 

**“Yes, my dear.”** She too ruffles my hair. **“Today our team had finished checking a stack of papers earlier than planned and so the boss gave us a free afternoon,”** she says while proudly pointing her thumb towards herself. 

**“That’s good!”** I smile at her. 

**“Well, I need to get going. See you later!”** Joshua interrupts us to greet us before leaving to head to his house. 

**“See you later!”** My mom and I say at the same time, causing us to laugh. 

My mom and I watch Joshua walk away before going inside the house.   
While I change into more comfortable clothes, my mom makes some tea and we make small talk while drinking. 

**“Wait,”** I suddenly say, remembering something really important. **“Tomorrow is dad’s birthday!”**

**“You’re right, honey. However, tomorrow your dad is not going to be here as he has to leave due to a business trip.”** Her expression darkening a bit. 

**“So we can’t celebrate his birthday?”** The question sounding more like a whine. 

**“Not tomorrow, dear.”** She sighs. 

I can’t stand to see her like this so I am about to change the topic when I have a breakthrough. **“What if we make a cake now and wish him a happy birthday when he comes home?”**

**“That’s a great idea!”** Her face lights up again. **“We can make a strawberry cake, his favourite one.”** She says after thinking for a while which is the best cake to make. 

**“Do we have everything we need?”** I ask her as probably we won’t have half of the ingredients to make the cake. 

**“Let me check...hmm…”** She checks in the fridge and in the cupboards around the kitchen. **“Not really.”** I knew it. **“We need just a few things. Can you go and buy them?”** She makes puppy eyes to convince me to get out of the house again to go to the convenience store. 

**“Okay, what do I need to buy?”**

**“Eggs, sugar and strawberries.”**

**“I’ll be quicker than lightning,”** I say while rushing towards the front door. 

**“I’m sure you will do that, but how about bringing money with you?”** She shouts from the kitchen. 

**“Right, I forgot to grab my wallet.”** I head back to run upstairs and grab the wallet from my backpack. 

While I go again towards the front door I can hear my mom mumbling **“You won’t ever change…”**

  
  


_ And the things that happened later, made me think that maybe I shouldn’t have agreed to go out to buy the ingredients for the cake... _


	4. Chapter 4

I sprint out of the front door of my house. I need to be quick so that I can get back and bake the cake before dad gets home. If I get late the surprise effect will be ruined.  
Luckily for me, the convenience store is right around the corner of my block and I know it like the back of my hand so I enter, buy all the things I need and rush outside, as fast as a lightning.  
However, as I am running with my hand down, I bump into someone as soon as I step foot outside the store. I’m taken aback and so the shopping bag slips from my hands.

_‘I can’t believe it! It happened yesterday too! Is this the fate trying to tell me to stay at home and never get out or to just pay more attention when I walk?’_

I am about to pick up the bag from the ground while apologising, not daring to look at the person I hit when I hear him. 

**“I’m sor-”**

**“What’s wrong with all of you?”**

_‘Wait a minute...this voice..no, it can’t be….’_

**“You again?”** The douche says in an accusatory voice.

**“No way!”** I groan annoyed that I’ve met him again and in the same way as yesterday.

**“You still haven’t learned how to multitask? Like you know, walking and focusing on the things that are around you so that you don’t bump into them.”** His sarcastic tone makes me want to punch him right here.

**“You are the one who came out from nothing!”** I defend myself.

**“Look, I was standing here even before you came rushing outside. Moreover, is it this the way to get out of a store? It’s just normal that you end up bumping into people.”**

**“Well, maybe I have my reasons to run.”**

**“Well, unless the shop hasn’t set on fire, I don’t think there’s any reason to bolt out of a place like that.”** He deadpans with a know-it-all expression on his face.

**“Who are you to judge if my reason is a good one or not? You knob!”** My voice raising an octave.

**“I do not have time to waste on things like this.”** His face showing that he’s trying to keep it together and not grab my collar again. **“It’s better for you if I leave.”**

He’s about to walk away when he turns towards me and says, **“Be careful next time, you wouldn’t want to make a mess like this again.”** and points towards a point next to my feet. 

**“Uh?”**

Confused I follow his hand and I end up looking at the shopping bag that was still lying on the ground, completely forgotten.

_‘Something is dripping from it...Wait…’_

**“Oh my god, the eggs!”** I dramatically fall on the ground next to the bag **“Now I need to get in again and buy them. Thank you so much, your douche.”** I point an accusatory finger at him, almost crying from the frustration.

**“You’re welcome,”** He says with a smug grin on his face. **“I sincerely hope not to meet you ever again.”**

**“I hope so too.”**

**“Good,”** he says before starting to walk away.

**“Good!”** I yell at his retreating back not wanting to lose to him. 

At these words, the guy turns around and comes towards me looking like he wants to beat me up.

_‘I’m not scared. I can fight him.’_ I keep repeating in my head.

He’s just a palm from my face when he suddenly gets down and picks up a strawberry from the shopping bag. He takes a bite of it and smirks before leaving, proud of his doing.

I release my breath that I hadn't noticed I was holding.

Angry and trying not to curse out loud, I head into the shop to buy again the eggs and go back home.

I haven’t even completely opened the door when I hear my mom asking **“Why did it take you so long?”**

**“Something came up...the eggs broke.”**

**“Soonie...what should I do with you?”** She chuckles and ruffles my hair.

**“I swear it wasn’t my fault...this time. I bumped into a guy so the bag fell on the ground and the eggs broke.”** I defend myself even though there’s no need to do that.

**“Was he cute?”** She asks nudging me with her elbow.

**“MOM! WHAT?”** I shriek.

**“I was joking! C’mon, let’s bake this cake before it’s too late, shall we?”** She takes two aprons, lending me mine. 

We bake the cake trying not to make a mess in the kitchen, which is a total failure. You now know from whom I picked my clumsy trait, yes, from my mom.

After almost an hour and a half, the cake’s ready and the kitchen is clean. I dare to say that the cake looks very pretty with all that whipped cream and strawberries on top of it. I hope dad will like it!

While my mom was lucky and didn’t get anything on her, I have to go taking a brisk shower to get rid of the flour stuck on my body and hair. When I’m done and I’ve put my pyjamas, I join my mom on the couch.

I can’t really focus on the drama she is watching, so I decide to text Seokmin to know what he’s doing.

**Hoshiya:**  
_Seokminieee_

**DonkeyKong:**  
Soons _!  
What are you up to?_

**Hoshiya:**  
_I’m waiting for dad to come home and have dinner._  
_What about you?_

**DonkeyKong:**  
_I need to get up from my bed to cook dinner._  
_Ugh._  
_Do you have any juicy news?_

**Hoshiya:**  
_Are you a ghost?_  
_How do you know that I have some news ready for you?_

**DonkeyKong:**  
_I had a hunch._  
_So, what happened?_

  
**Hoshiya:**  
_You may not believe it but I met that vertically challenged guy again._

**DonkeyKong:**  
_Are you kidding me?_

**Hoshiya:**  
_I wish I was kidding you, but no, I’m not._  
_I bumped into him again, outside the convenience store._

**DonkeyKong:**  
_Fate is mocking you HAHAHA._

**Hoshiya:**  
_Don’t you dare to laugh at me, Lee_ Seokmin.  
_Btw, what upset me the most was that because of him, the shopping bag slipped from my hands and the eggs I had bought broke._

**DonkeyKong:**  
_Did he apologise this time?_

**Hoshiya:**  
_Of_ course _he didn’t!_  
_He has been a dick again but I’ve told him this time._

**DonkeyKong:**  
_What did he say?_

**Hoshiya:**  
_He acted like it wasn’t his problem and he walked away._  
_But before doing that he picked up and ate one of the strawberries for my dad’s cake._  
_Right._  
_in._  
_front._  
_of._  
_my._  
_salad._

**DonkeyKong:**  
Hahaha _calm down!_  
_You won’t meet him tomorrow too._  
_That’s if life doesn’t hate you for real._

**Hoshiya:**  
_Don’t say that!_  
_Yesterday you said something like this and I met him today!_

**DonkeyKong:**  
_Okay, I’ll shut up!_  
_Now, I have to cook something or I’ll starve tonight._  
_Talk to you later!_

**Hoshiya:**  
_Yeah, later!_

I throw my phone on the couch and I try to focus on the drama to understand what’s going on and after a while, dad comes home.

We have dinner and the mood is even brighter than usual, laughing and mocking each other when talking about the making of the cake. At the end of the dinner, we bring dad his cake. sing happy birthday to him. Happy, he blows out the candles and opens the gift that mom had bought him when she came out from the company. He gives a kiss on my head and on mom’s too before starting a fight with the whipped cream. It’s useless to say that I need to wash my hair again and change in another pair of pyjamas.

Dad now really needs to go to sleep and I’m a bit sad that we have to wrap up the celebration like this but a long trip to Greece awaits him tomorrow so he really can’t stay awake any longer. I envy him a bit because he has the chance of seeing so many different places around the world thanks to his work and the company even pays for flight and hotel. However, it’s also true that his job kept him away from me and he sometimes regrets not having witnessed most of the most important events in my childhood. I don’t hate him for this though. I know he loves my mom and me and that’s what matters to me.

I wish a good night to him and to my mom, who is still in the kitchen to wash the dishes, and I go to my room. I throw myself on the bed, put my headset on and press the play button. Listening to music before going to sleep is really what I need right now.

I’m almost in Morpheus’ arms when I hear a loud _‘katok’_ going off.

**Joshuji:**  
_My little bro!_

**Hoshiya:**  
_My hyung!_

**Joshuji:**  
_I just wanted to tell you that I can’t come to your house later._  
_We’re still in the middle of the practice._

**Hoshiya:**  
_Don’t worry, hyung._  
_I’ve imagined that you couldn’t come._  
_Plus, everyone was about to go to sleep._

**Joshuji:**  
_Oh, I see._  
_But I really wanted to drop by to wish a happy birthday to your father._  
_It’s midnight so it’s basically his birthday._  
_Well, I think I have to do that tomorrow morning when I’ll come to pick you up._

**Hoshiya:**  
_Tomorrow morning he has to leave for a business trip._  
_He won’t be here by the time you’ll come._

**Joshuji:**  
_Oh, well, I guess I’ll send him a text in the morning then._

**Hoshiya:**  
_Wait._  
_Since when do you have his phone number?_

**Joshuji:**  
_Since his son doesn’t answer his phone when he’s hanging out with his friends aka Seokmin and me._

**Hoshiya:**  
_Gosh._  
_That man won’t ever leave me alone._

**Joshuji:**  
_One day, he probably will._  
_Don’t worry._  
_Now, go to sleep...it’s already late._

**Hoshiya:**  
_But I’m not sleepy (?)_

**Joshuji:**  
_Go or tomorrow morning you’ll keep on whining that you haven’t gotten enough sleep and that you’re late for classes._

**Hoshiya:**  
_I have never complained._

**Joshuji:**  
_Really?_

**Hoshiya** :  
_Maybe a couple of times I did something that resembled a whine._

**Joshuji:**  
_…_

**Hoshiya:**  
_Okay!_  
_You’re right, I whine a lot._  
_You’re happy?_

**Joshuji:**  
_You wouldn’t believe how HAHAHA._

**Hoshiya:**  
_I hate you._

**Joshuji:**  
_Nah, you love me._  
_Now, go._  
_Good night._

**Hoshiya:**  
_Good night, hyung!_  
_See you tomorrow morning._

**Joshuji:**  
_See you tomorrow, Soonie!_

I turn off my phone after Joshua’s text and after sending Seokmin his goodnight text to try and get some sleep.  
However, my mind is still in full activity and can’t stop thinking of that guy who I bumped into in the span of these two days.

_‘I can’t believe that someone as annoying and irritating like that exists. Next time, and I hope for him that there won’t be a next time, he’s going to see who Kwon Soonyoung is. I’m going to teach him a lesson!’_

With that burning desire of prevailing against that asshole, I drift off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this chapter is a bit short but the MAMA week and other things kept me busy! I'll try posting another chapter as soon as possible!


	5. Chapter 5

At 7:30 am, the alarm goes off. I snooze the alarm and I sleep for another 10 minutes before getting up to have a cold shower so that I can be fully awake. When I’m dressed with my school uniform and I have gotten rid of the bird’s nest on my head, I run downstairs to have breakfast.  
The first thing I notice when I come downstairs is that on the coffee table in the living room there’s a bright yellow post-it.  
Surely, it was the mom the one who left it there.

_‘I am dropping your father off at the airport. I will go to the office straight after that. Your breakfast is already on the kitchen table, you just need to heat it in the microwave. See you at home tonight. Lots of love from mom.’_

I walk into the kitchen and I look at the table. When my eyes finally focus, I see that mom made pancakes. She even prepared some fruit next to them! She really knows me the best!  
I heat a couple of pancakes and I put the rest of them into a Tupperware so that I can bring them to Joshua. If he knew that mom made it and I haven’t brought him any, I would be a dead man.  
I quickly eat my portion of pancakes topped with banana and chocolate syrup, then I brush my teeth and by the time I’m done, the doorbell rings. Joshua is here, on time, as always. I take my time to open the door as it’s still quite early and we’re not in a rush.

**“Shall we go?”** Joshua greets me with a smile.

**“Good morning to you, too!”** I say and Joshua snorts. **“Let’s go.”**

I put my favourite pair of white snickers, grab my bag and I lock up the door once I stepped out of the house.

**“How are you, hyung?”** I ask Joshua as I see that his usual honey skin is a shade paler.

**“Tired and hungry. I skipped breakfast so that I could sleep a little bit more.”**

**“You’re lucky to have me then.”** I grab the plastic bag with the Tupperware and shove it in Joshua’s hands. **“Mom made pancakes and I brought you some.”**

**“That’s great! I love you both!”** He says hugging me

**“What would you do without me?”** I flip my non-existent long hair.

**“Probably, I would die of hunger or loneliness.”** He chuckles.

**“And of boredom too! I know you can’t live without my fantastic jokes.”**

**“I can live without them,”** Joshua says after pretending to think about it. **“I did that up until 5 years ago and I was doing fine!”**

**“Ya!”** I point an accusing finger to him. **“You could agree with me sometimes, you know?!”**

**“I will do that when my stomach will be full.”** Joshua pats his stomach and we both fall silent for a while as Joshua is stuffing his face with the pancakes.

When we have almost reached the school gates, I break the silence with a quite random question.

**“Yesterday you wrapped up the practice late, right?”**

**“Yup...it was because of Jihoon and Seungcheol, again. They were both late. Seungcheol is busy writing some rap parts and Jihoon said it was because all of a sudden something came up.”**

**“Oh, I can totally understand him. Me too, when I’m late, I tell it’s because something unexpected happened on the way to where I am heading to.”** I cover up my mouth after realising that I’ve just let one of my biggest secrets slip out of my mouth.

Joshua giggles at my actions and then says, **“You should meet him. Jihoon, I mean. I think you two would get along well.”**

**“Do you think so?”**

**“Yup. I will try and set up a dinner with the guys and I’ll introduce them to you as soon as possible.”**

**“It would be great! That way, I could finally meet your friends!”** I squeal at the idea of getting introduced to the infamous Jeonghan’s bitches.

**“I’ll let you know the date as soon as I get to talk about this with the rest of the band!”** Joshua says before leaving a daydreaming me in the middle of the school courtyard.

_‘I will finally meet him.’_

  


  


Today I’m not particularly focused on the lesson and there’s nothing new about it. What is weird is that I don’t even want to talk to Seokmin using our method of writing on pieces of paper.  
There’s something in the air that keeps getting me distracted...I can’t even remember what class I am in right now. Is it literature? Maybe it’s Korean. I don’t know. The only thing I know is that I just want to look out from the window and stop for a while to doodle things on my notebook. The pencil flies on the paper, leaving behind meaningless lines that don’t follow a particular pattern, just the flow of my thoughts. Curved lines that suddenly break at the changing of thought. It looks like one of those modern painting that seems to have no meaning at all when you first look at them. However, the more you observe, the more you can seem to partly understand what was going on the painter’s mind. You notice if at the moment they were troubled or peaceful because it’s all in those lines. The mind wanders free on the thread of those lines that go in a direction, then in another one to just go back at the starting point. I take my eyes off the paper and I look outside, again. Today the weather’s great. There are just a few white cotton-candy-like clouds in the blue sky: some are in a weird but funny shape, some seem to chase each other like little children at the park. Everything is quiet and at the moment, I would be really glad be out there to enjoy that quietness, become one with that scenery that, as cliché as it may sound, it gives me a sense of peace.

I get back to reality the moment the sound of the bell rings in my ears. Apparently, the school day has ended and Seokmin is next to my desk. He moves his lips but I seem to be still in a haze as I can’t understand what he is saying.

**“Hey Soons, are you here with us?”** Seokmin waves a hand in front of me. I must’ve been staring at him.

**“Yes, yes! I’m sorry. What were you saying?”**

**“I was asking you if you want me to drop you off at your house. My dad’s coming to pick me up and I can give you a ride so you can avoid having hard luck on the trail.”** He sniggers.

**“Don’t worry, my friend. I’ll go home with Joshua hyung,”** I say, pointing my thumb towards the door. **“At lunch, he told me that he would’ve walked home with me as today’s practice session is at his house.”**

**“You could go there and meet them, you know?”** Seokmin leans more on my desk, a quite evil smirk on his face.

**“Yeah, but I don’t want to,”** I say while getting up and slinging my bag over the shoulder. **“Joshua and I already spend a lot of time together and this is just one of the few times he has to stay with his friends. I don’t want to meddle unless he is the one to say so.”**

**“You’re right,”** Seokmin agrees after thinking about it. **“It’s better to let him have some privacy.”**

Seokmin is about to leave when something comes up in my mind.

**“Hey, Seok.”** And he turns around upon being called. **“Since today we’ve got nothing to do, what about going out for a walk?”**

**“Sounds good to me! Should we go to the cafè?”**

**“The usual caramel macchiato…”** I start saying.

**“...at our usual place!”** And Seokmin ends. We both start laughing at that. **“We’ll meet at 6 pm in front of the cafe, okay?”**

**“Call! See you later!”** I wave at him as he starts walking again.

**“Later!”**

I’m about to walk out of the classroom when I notice that Joshua is already waiting for me at the door. A lot of girls are checking him up and then spare glances of approval at each other before starting giggling in hope to get noticed by the handsome boy standing in front of them. Joshua is popular with girls even though he would always deny that and say that he’s just average. I am average, not him!

**“You finally got out of your class!”**

**“I had my head in the clouds. It took a while to come back to Earth,”** I state, as a matter of fact, shrugging my shoulders.

**“So you were being just you,”** Joshua deadpans.

**“Exactly, what’s even the point in trying and deny that, am I right?”** Our chuckles resonate in the almost empty hallway. **“How was work today?”**

**“Same people coming, same books being picked up for the same essays,”** he counts on his fingers. **“At least I can take advantage of the free time I get while reordering the books and search for the things Seokmin asks me to find.”** He rolls his eyes as it’s not the first time that he has to research myths and legends that inspire those creepy video games sometimes Seokmin likes playing.

**“What is it now? A new race of zombies? Indigo children?”**

**“Trust me, you don’t want to know,”** Joshua says putting a hand on my shoulder. **“You easily get scared.”**

**“You’re the one talking! The man who fears nothing! Joshua the brave!”**

**“Okay, okay, I got it!”** Joshua tries to shush me as the few students left in the schoolyard were now watching us. **“I’ve warned you. It’s the legend about the Wendigos.”**

**“Those people who get possessed by evil spirits as soon as they eat human flesh?”**

**“Yup, them! How did you know that?”** Joshua asks, shocked that I’m not even bothered by these cannibal beings.

**“Seokmin has been talking about this for days and showed me some pics and videos.”**

**“True...he won’t shut up about it.”** A fond smile spreads on Joshua’s face.

**“But it’s kind of interesting spending time listening to these stories. Seokmin is so passionate about it.”**

**“You should spend your time studying!”**

**“But what they teach at school isn’t this interesting! They are not catchy enough!”** I say as this could be a valid excuse to defend my lost cause.

**“You will fail your classes if you don’t study!”**

**“That’s impossible, hyung. You know that, in the end, I will always pass.”** A smug look on my face.

**“You’re just lucky.”**

**“No, it’s called being good.”** I mockingly brag about my ability to save my own ass at the last minute when the desperation takes over and, like magic, makes me learn every single thing on my notes.

**“C’mon, hyung. Walk faster or you’ll be late for your rehearsals.”** I push him from behind to make him fasten his pace as we're still halfway.

**“Hey, don’t worry. They won’t die if they wait a little bit.”**

**“It’s not polite to make them wait for you, you know?”**

**“Says the one who always makes me wait.”**

**“That’s not true!”**

**“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say.”** Joshua then changes the topic just so he won’t have to admit that I’m not always late. **“Planned something for today?”**

**“I will hang out with Seokmin.”**

**“Usual caramel macchiato at the same place?”** Joshua asks but it’s just a rhetorical question as he already knows the answer.

**“Yup...are we this predictable?”**

**“You go to the same cafè and order the same coffee since you came here in Seoul!”**

**“Well...that’s true!”** I chuckle.

**“I swear that you would get along with Jihoon. He is a man of habits, too. It’s been quite a while since he started ordering the same black coffee from the same place as you. Who knows, maybe you even met him.”**

**“He seems to have a great taste in cafès. Not coffee though. How could he drink that poison?”**

**“Not everyone is a baby like you who can’t handle the bitter taste of coffee.”** He flicks my forehead for no apparent reason.

**“Hey! Why did you do that?”**

Joshua doesn’t answer my question and keeps talking about Jihoon. **“Indeed, he is an interesting guy. I think you will find a lot in common with him because of your age,”** he says, fingers on his chin as he is thinking about topics that could “unite” this Jihoon and me.

**“What do you mean?”**

**“You are the same age so maybe that’s why you kind of like the same things. Anime, music, eating…”**

**“Eating...now I’m hungry!”** My stomach rumbles as to prove my statement.

**“You really are something else,”** Joshua says before doing a dramatic facepalm.

**“You are the one who mentioned eating. I haven’t eaten since lunch!”**

**“I forgot that the monster inside you has to be fed every two hours.”**

**“Every hour if I’m nervous.”** While cackling, I notice that we’ve reached our destination. **“Hyung, we’re in front of your house.”** I point towards Joshua’s house as if he hadn’t seen it. **“There’s no need to escort me home, nobody will kidnap me.”**

**“You’re a baby, I need to walk you home.”**

**“Please, don’t. You can literally see me from here,”** I say while pointing at where Joshua’s standing. **“So I’ll go there and wave at you, okay?”**

**“Okay.”** He sighs knowing there's no way he can win an argument against me. 

I high-five him and then start running towards my house. When I get in front of the door, I stop and turn around to wave at him as I’ve promised. Joshua does the same then sticks his tongue out and disappears through the door.  
Once I’m inside my house, I go straight for the couch. The idea of napping it’s so appealing that I check the time.

**“It’s 5 pm and I’ll see Seokmin in an hour. I can rest for 5 minutes then I’ll get changed.”**

I close my eyes and something that shouldn’t have happened, happens.

I was fast asleep and dreaming of eating a plate of katsudon with Victor Nikiforov when I jolt up because of the notification sound coming from my phone. I quickly check the time and it’s a quarter to six. It’s super late! I then check the notification and it’s a text from Seokmin

**DonkeyKong:**  
_I just got out of my house, see you at the café!_

**Hoshiya:**  
_Sure!_  
_I’m already heading there!_

Lie.

I am still with my uniform on and my hair looks like a bird’s nest as it was this morning.

I get undressed as I walk upstairs to get into my room. I wear the first pair of jeans I find on the floor and the first sweater I grab from the closet, hoping that they will somewhat match.  
I run to the bathroom to style my hair down, my bangs almost covering my eyes still puffy from the “nap”, I brush my teeth and run again downstairs. I leave a post it for my mom, telling her I went out with Seokmin and that I would be home for dinner.

I check the time again and it shows a big “5:55 pm” on the screen.

**“Crap, I need to take my ass there as soon as possible!”**

I wear my shoes, lock the door behind me and I sprint towards the street.  
I run as fast as I can on the pavement, trying to slalom among the few people walking there.

_‘Seokmin will kill me if I get late.’_

While I run, I don’t know why but my mind wanders to those movie scenes where you can see the female lead running while wearing ridiculously high stilettos. How the hell they can do that? It already burns my thighs to run with sneakers, I cannot imagine the pain of running with those stilts on.

Too focused on these useless thoughts, I don’t notice that there’s a guy in front of me. My body doesn’t react fast enough and you know what? I bump right into him, head first.

How do people say? Everything happens in threes. Well, that’s right. Three out of three days, I’ve managed to get myself in the same damned situation. This time, I really hope that asshole is not involved.

Oh and, of course, I have fallen “graciously” on the ground.

I hesitantly look up and I swear I go pale in a nanosecond.

**“I can’t believe it,”** the guy says, annoyance evident from his tone.

**“You’re a nightmare! Why are you always involved in _this_?”** My arms flailing to make him understand what ‘this’ is. Basically, me bumping into him.

**“You are the one who always hits me,”** he says trying to blame it on me. 

**“You are the one who always stays in the middle of the road.”**

**“I’m starting to think that you’re stalking me and do this on purpose just so you can talk to me. Am I that handsome?”** He smirks and then runs a hand through his hair.

**“You’d love that,”** I deadpan. **“I’m sorry to disappoint you but you’re not that handsome. Actually, I’m not sorry at all.”**

**“Idiot,”** he mutters thinking that I wouldn’t hear him. Well, he’s wrong.

**“And you’re a knob.”**

**“I know, you’ve already told me that yesterday.”**

**“Good. Glad to know that my point got across.”** I cross my arms over my chest.

**“Good, now move. I need to go that way.”** He points at the direction where I am coming from.

**“I’m sorry, your _Highness_ if I’m standing in your way.”** I bow and stress the word ‘highness’ as this guy isn’t that tall. Is he around 1,60 meters? Is he a middle schooler? Whatever, it doesn’t matter. 

**“You’re forgiven.”**

**“Are you kidding me?”** I ask, shocked by this guy’s audacity.

**“Why should I be kidding you? I’m just accepting your apology.”**

**“My apology.”** I snort. **“I can’t believe it.”**

Suddenly my phone starts buzzing and a loud _‘katok’_ comes from it. 

**“It’s your phone,”** the guy says pointing at the front pocket of my jeans.

**“I know that it’s my phone.”**

**“Answer, the sound is bothering me,”** he distorts his face as the sound keeps coming from the phone.

**“I am the one who decides when to answer.”** I reach for the pocket and then add, **“If I take the phone out it’s not because you told me to do that, it’s because I want to check who’s texting me.”**

Of course, it’s Seokmin. I told him I was on my way 10 minutes ago.

**DonkeyKong:**  
_Where are you?_  
 _I’m waiting outside the café._  
 _Don’t tell me you’re not coming anymore._

**Hoshiya:**  
_Had a bit of a snag._  
 _I’ll tell you when I get there._  
 _Be there in a minute._

I look up and the guy is not in front of me anymore. I turn around and I see him leaving.

**“Well, I wish not having to tell you this again. Focus on your walking and not on your thinking,”** he says without looking at me.

**“And you try to stop your mouth from saying bullshit!”**

Hoping that he won’t turn around, I stick my tongue out at him. I know it’s kind of childish but I really can’t stand him.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**“You’re finally here!”** Seokmin exclaims trying to look like he’s mad at me but inevitably fails.

**“I’m sorry, Seok.”**

**“C’mon, let’s get inside so that you can tell me what happened.”**

We get inside and sit at “our” booth. Seokmin and I don’t even have to place our orders because, as soon as the waitress sees us, she smiles and goes straight to the counter to get our coffees done. She knows us too well so, after a while, she brings our caramel macchiatos to our table. Joshua swears that the girl remembers our orders just because she has a crush on Seokmin. In reality, Joshua just likes to tease Seokmin and watching him getting flustered.

**“You know, every time there’s this in front of you, you have heart eyes.”** He points at the cups standing on the table.

**“You know how much I love this. I don’t like absolute coffee but this is just the perfect mixture of coffee and sugar. Without it, I would be a zombie.”**

**“When was the last time that you had a decent amount of sleep?”** He asks seriously concerned about my sleeping schedule.

**“I don’t even know anymore.”** I rub my nape, embarrassed by the fact that my friends have to nag at me because of how late I sleep at night.

**“You need to rest more, Soon.”**

**“I know, but habits are hard to break. However, I will try to do that, okay?”**

**“How many times have you already said that?”**

**“Five?"**

**“If you count just the last six months,”** he sighs. **“Please, promise me that you will really try.”**

**“I swear on my Naruto’s collection,”** I put my right hand on my heart while having the left one lifted to make an oath. 

**“I will take the entire collection if you don’t do as promised,”** Seokmin threats me and I really regret putting my favourite collection at stake. **“Now, tell me what happened.”**

**“I met someone on the way here,”** I say through gritted teeth.

**“WHO?”** Seokmin almost yells.

**“Try to guess…”**

**“Don’t tell me it’s the assh-, ehm, that guy,”** Seokmin says, surprise shows on his face.

**“I won’t tell you, then.”** I run my fingertips along the rim of my cup.

**“Oh my God, are you for real? He’s a nightmare!”**

**“That’s exactly what I told him.”**

**“No way!”** Seokmin takes a sip of his coffee before asking, **“How is it possible to meet the same person for three days in a row?”**

**“Let’s not forget the fact that I’ve been meeting him in the same way, too. Bumping into him three times and that’s because he’s always at the wrong place at the wrong time.”** I really am frustrated at the thought of all of this. It’s just ridiculous.

**“Really?”** Seokmin’s eyes go wide all of a sudden and I’m worried they could pop out of his head.

**“I swear! He had even the guts to say that I stalk him and crash into him on purpose.”**

**“Has he gone insane?”** His voice is so high pitched that it grabs the attention of the few customers around.

**“I think so.”**

**“Don’t you have any clue about who this person is?”**

**“Not at all and I’m not interested in finding out who he is.”** I look outside the window and take a sip of my lukewarm caramel macchiato.

**“Damn, I’m curious! I want to see him!”**

**“If you stick to me, we may meet him tomorrow, too.”**

**“Do you think so?”** Seokmin asks as if he’s really hoping to run into him the day after.

**“No, I’m joking. I don’t want to meet him anymore.”** I fiddle with the handle of the half-empty cup.

**“Every time one of us said that you ended up meeting him.”**

**“Right, the exact opposite of what we wished, happened. I need to tell this to Shua hyung.”**

**“Knowing him, he will laugh at you a lot!”** He chuckles.

**“Yeah, I know!”** I chuckle, too deciding that it’s better to laugh at the situation than to get mad at that little guy. **“Speaking of Shua hyung, he said that soon he will plan a dinner with the Jeonghan’s bitches so that he can introduce them to us.”**

**“Oh, really?”**

**“Yes! I need to ask him if they have already decided when to do that.”** I gulp down the rest of the coffee and then proceed squealing. **“Finally we will meet them!”**

**“You know that I’m only interested in one person from that band.”** A slight blush creeps on his cheeks.

**“And it’s Hong Joshua!”** I yell. All the people inside here and maybe even those passing by the street have heard me.

**“Keep your voice down!”** He shushes me and slaps my arm.

**“I’m sorry.”**

**“Don’t do that ever again or I will kick you.”** His eyes are so fierce that I really fear for my life, better say that I fear for my shin.

**“I promise!”** I throw my hands in the air to prove that I surrender to his threat. **“By the way, I think that Shua hyung wants to introduce me to a specific person,”** I tell Seokmin as I remember the conversation I had earlier with Joshua.

**“And who is this person?”**

**“Jihoon. Joshua said we’re the same age and because of this, he has this weird idea that we will get along well. Something about sharing some interests.”** I shake my head as to shake off the idea. It just doesn't make sense. How come having the same age involves having the same interests?

**“Who knows, maybe this meeting could lead to other things…”** Seokmin doesn’t finish his sentence but making it clear what _“other things”_ stands for.

**“Nah! I’m good with my life as it is. I’m already a mess, a boy would mess it up even more!”**

**“Well, you do have a point. You’re a mess.”**

**“Yah!”** I get up just to flick his forehead.

**“I’m joking.”** He sniggers while rubbing the spot I hit.

**“However, I have to admit that I am curious to meet him.”**

**“See? He has already gotten your attention!”**

**“That’s not true! I was just wondering if we would really get along,”** I say trying to explain my previous statement.

**“I forgot that the only thing that has your attention is food.”**

**“Can’t deny that!”**

We both start laughing out loud and when we calm down, we change the topic, chatting at the cafè about this and that for a little while longer before going back home.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this chapter took quite a while but I stopped for a bit to post my soonhoon Christmas tale on Twitter.  
> By the way, I have curious cat now so if you want, you can hit me up there to ask questions about the au or whatever thing crosses your mind!
> 
> Here's the link https://curiouscat.me/Yleisnotonfire


	6. Chapter 6

_ **Joshua’s point of view** _

These last days spent practising with Jeonghan’s bitches are killing me.   
I can’t rest a lot but what saddens me the most is that I can’t spend time with Soonyoung and Seokmin. We used to hang out a lot just the three of us before the band got called a lot for different events in pubs.   
Soonyoung just told me that now they went to drink a Caramel Macchiato...I envy them so much because I would kill for a cup of that coffee and a chat with my two best friends!   
However, no matter how much I complain about it being tiring, the band is a part of me. It means spending time with my friends and it’s also a way for us to show people what we can do, to boast about our skills. It’s also a way to enjoy our time, to express our ideas and feelings through our songs, to make people relate to us, to make them understand they’re not alone in this cold, big world.

**“Earth calling Joshua! Hyung, are you here with us?”** Mingyu waves a hand in front of my eyes who lost all of their focus.

**“Yeah, Mingyu. Don’t worry.”** I look at him and smile to reassure I’m really with them.

**“He’s here, but what about Jihoon? Where’s he?”** Seungcheol asks from the couch he’s laying on.

**“I tried calling him but he doesn’t answer,”** Jeonghan says from the other side of the room, phone still attached to his ear, trying to get in contact with Jihoon.

**“Why is he late?”** Seungkwan asks a little bit annoyed.

**“Maybe he has a reason to why he is this late,”** Wonwoo tries to defend Jihoon while finishing the lyrics for his rap part in the new song.

**“Yeah, but it’s been three days since he’s 'this late'.”** Jeonghan fingers flying on the screen of his phone to send a text to Jihoon.

**“And the later he arrives, the later our practice ends.”** Seungkwan really can’t stop complaining.

**“Tomorrow we need to work, we can’t end too late at night.”** Seungcheol yawns, his eyes slowly closing.

**“Today, even I got here on time!”** Mingyu suddenly gets up from his seat as to emphasise the fact that this is a rare event.

  
**“I’ll try to call him.”** Wonwoo sighs while picking the phone from the front pocket of his jeans.

**“No need to do that. I’m here,”** Jihoon says, walking in the living room where all of us was waiting for him.

We hadn’t noticed that Jeonghan left the room to open the door and he’s now behind Jihoon, ready to scold him as a mother would do with his son who got home late.

**“Where have you been?”**

**“Something came up when I was coming here.”**

**“Again? What in the world has** happen **to you that you got late for three days?”** The tone of Jeonghan’s voice is slightly frustrated. 

**“Wait, have you perhaps find a lover, hyung?”** Seungkwan suddenly asks, interrupting the scolding.

**“What? Me? I hope you’re kidding.”** Jihoon is clearly annoyed by Seungkwan’s statement.

**“He’s denying it! So he really found himself a lover!”** Mingyu stands up from his chair, pointing a finger at Jihoon and laughing.

**“When will we have the pleasure of meeting this special someone?”** Wonwoo started mocking him too, knowing that there aren’t a lot of occasions to tease the little one of their band.

**“Listen here, I don’t have a lover,”** Jihoon stomps one of his feet to the ground. **“Yeah, these days I was late at practices because of a guy but there’s nothing going on between us. He’s just a clumsy idiot.”** He huffs

**“Are you sure?”** I ask, eyebrows wriggling and with a smirk on.

**“Never been so sure of something in my life. I can’t stand him and I don’t even know him or his name. The only thing I know is that I don’t want to meet him ever again.”**

**“Woah, calm down. Why are you so angry at him?”**

**“Because he keeps blaming me for his mistakes and wanting to be right! Plus, he’s haughty!”**

**“Seems like a tough one,”** Seungcheol says, the corners of his mouth a slightly upwards as he enjoys seeing Jihoon frustrated like this by someone that it’s not Mingyu or Seungkwan.

**“You can say that!”**

Jihoon sighs and is about to go sitting on the couch when Seungkwan clears his throat to grab everyone’s attention.

**“Not to be that kind of guy, but we really should start practising or we will never be able to get home.”**

All of us nods and sits up from their comfortable spots on armchairs and couches to go to their instruments: Mingyu and I go to our guitars while Jeonghan comes next to me to take his bass; Seungkwan is at the keyboard and Jihoon at the drums; Seungcheol and Wonwoo are ready to take charge of the rap and some vocals.

After checking that everyone’s ready, Jihoon gives us the tempo with his drumsticks to start playing our first song. As we go on with the rehearsing, we sing some of our old songs and Seungkwan and Mingyu practice even their MCing skills before coming back to play and sing again.

To be honest, this is a bit tiring but nothing can compare to the sense of fulfilment in seeing the group growing not only in skills but also in number. A couple of years ago, when everything started, it was just the four of us: Seungcheol, Jeonghan, Wonwoo and I. Now, there’s seven of us with Seungkwan, Mingyu and Jihoon.   
Our family became bigger and even louder as we like joking around but that’s why we love _Jeonghan’s bitches_ a lot and we were formerly called _Al1_.  
Before this, we were ‘alone’ but now we’re together, we’re 'all one'.

  


  
  


We’re taking a little break, sprawled on the floor when I see the screen of my phone lighting up and showing a notification from the Kakaotalk app.

**Hoshiya:**   
_Don’t you think that we’ve forgotten you!_  
 _There’s a caramel macchiato waiting for you!_  
 _You’re the one to decide: should I buy one and bring it to you there or do you want to come to my house later and I will make it?_

As I read the text, a smile blooms on my face.   
I know that I pester him, but I really don’t know what I would be doing if that little rascal wasn’t in my life. He takes care of me whenever he can, even if it should be the other way round as I’m the hyung. He treats me as if we were blood brothers and not just friends.  
He’s a very kind and sweet guy even though he puts the tough guy façade on.

**Joshuji:**   
_Thank you, Soonie!_  
 _I will come to yours if we don’t wrap up too late!_

**“Who are you texting to, hyung?”** Mingyu rolls to where I am laying on the floor.

**“Soonie, my best friend.”**

**“The one from the canteen?”**

**“Yup, the one who kind of looks like a hamster.”** I chuckle imagining Soonyoung’s annoyed face if he heard that.

**“Oh, I remember him!”**

**“You know, I have actually told him that I would set up a dinner with all of you.”**

**“Why? He wants to meet us?”** Seungcheol asks, showing that he was eavesdropping from where he was staying, next to Jeonghan.

**“Exactly. He’s not only my friend but he’s also our first fan, that’s why I want to introduce him to you,”** I say as I lift my self, laying on my forearms.

**“Every friend of yours is also our friend, you know that.”**

**“Plus, he’s really a cool guy! His personality is a mix of Seungkwan’s and Jihoon’s.”**

**“I am kind of curious now,”** Jihoon says, hoping nobody would hear him, but I did as I was right beside him.

**“Me too! A new friend! That’s cool!”** Seungkwan stands up faster than The Flash would’ve done and starts clapping, excited by the idea of meeting someone new.

**“That’s if you don’t scare him off before you can even get to introduce yourself,”** Jeonghan suddenly says. 

Everyone bursts out laughing as Seungkwan pretends to be mad at us, especially at Jeonghan.   
As we keep on bantering and cooing at Seungkwan, we start practising again and we work even harder than before.  
We need to be really good for our next event.

  
  
  
  
  


_**Soonyoung’s point of view** _

I was checking my Twitter timeline when I hear the doorbell.   
I’m wondering who it might be and I check the time on the phone.  
It’s eleven in the evening and this means it can be only one person who’s here at this hour. I open the door and automatically smile when I see Joshua standing in front of me.

 **“I brought some chocolate cake!”** He says as he takes his shoes off.

**“I love you, you know?”**

**“I couldn’t come here empty-handed, moreover, it’s delicious if combined with a homemade caramel macchiato.”** Joshua is licking his lips as he could already taste the cake and the coffee.

**“Come on, get inside,”** I say when I grab him by his shoulder and literally push him inside the living room.

**“Manners, young man. I’m still your hyung!”** He complains while trying to glare at me.

**“Forgive me, hyung-nim. From this moment onwards, I will address to you with more respect in my words.”** I humbly bow to him.

**“Idiot.”** He laughs and takes off his coat, hanging it on the rack.

**“Now, give me the bag with the cake and go wearing your pyjamas. I will make some delicious coffee!”**

**“What happened to the respect?”** Joshua lifts his right eyebrow at me.

**“He went to take a walk around.”** Again, I push him towards the stairs. **“Hurry up!”**

**“Yes, sir.”** Joshua brings his hand to his temple as if he was a soldier and goes upstairs to get changed.

In the meantime, I take two empty cups and put in there some pieces of chocolate caramel and a tiny bit of milk.   
I melt the chocolate into the microwave and pour some more milk in it. I keep heating the mixture of chocolate and milk as I make the coffee.  
Just one shot of espresso in each cup et voilà! The caramel macchiato is ready!

I take the plastic container with the cake out of the bag and, as soon as I put everything on a tray, Joshua walks in the kitchen.

**“Smells like caramel in here,”** he says while sniffing the air just like a dog would do.

**“Why do you think it called caramel macchiato for?”** I snigger. **“Should we watch something while eating?”**

**“Not today. It’s late and tomorrow we need to get up early. Besides, I’m pretty sure I will fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow."**

**“Okay, okay. I get it.”**

I pick the tray with our desserts on and reach Joshua who’s already sitting at the end of the dining table. I put the cups and the plates on the wooden surface of the table before sitting at his left. 

Just as I started munching on my slice of cake, Joshua drops the bomb.

**“You know, I talked to the guys about the dinner.”**

**“Yeah? What did they say?”**

**“They can’t wait to meet you,”** Joshua says with a smile on his face, eyes almost disappearing into crescents.

**“Really? You’re not kidding me, right?"**

**“It’s for real. They even set the date.”** He takes a sip of the coffee and hums as he likes the taste of the homemade caramel macchiato.

**“When is it?”**

**“This Saturday evening.”**

**“WHAT?”** I screech. **“Oh my God! I’m not mentally prepared for this!”** Hands reaching my temples to massage them.

**“Why?”** Joshua asks genuinely confused.

**“We’re talking about dining with seven people, six of them are my best friend's friends. My first impression has to be good or else what will they think of me? Wait. What should I wear? What should I say? Do I need to put a little bit of BB cream? The pressure is too much to handle,”** I am at the point I am blurting out every single thing crossing my mind, almost without taking a breath in between my words.

**“Woah! Slow down a bit!”** Joshua puts his hand on my shoulder and pats me. **“You’re getting too nervous. They will like you no matter what, trust me.”**

**“Okay.”** I take some deep breaths to calm down and try to be more chill about the issue. **“I’m calm. I still need to find an answer to all of these question, though.”** I take a pause to think about what to do, but I sigh as nothing comes into my mind. **“Tomorrow, I will talk about this with Seokmin.”**

**“Oh, of course, he’s invited too,”** Joshua says, with a pink blush creeping on his cheeks that doesn’t get unnoticed.

**“I was about to ask you that! Our telepathy game is getting stronger, hyung!”**

**“This is because I know you way too well and Seokmin is my friend too, don’t forget that!”** He nervously taps his fingers on the sides of the empty cup when he mentions the word ‘friend’.

**“Friend, true,”** I look at him, waiting for him to crumble under my gaze and finally say the truth about having a crush on Seokmin but nothing happens. **“Well, I think tomorrow we will be shopping after school,”** I say as I stand up to pick our cups and plates.

**“Are you for real?”**

**“I told you, the first impression means a lot. When you see someone for the first time, you can already understand if they can be your friends or not,”** I state matter-of-factly after putting the dirty dishes into the sink as I will wash them tomorrow morning. 

**“If that was the case and I should’ve based on my first impression of you, we wouldn’t be friends right now.”** Joshua has a smug look on his face, thinking about our first meeting as he makes his way towards the hallway before the stairs.

**“It’s not funny.”** I stick my tongue out and quickly change the topic before I can cringe at the memory of that day. **“Okay, do you want to come with us? So you can advise and protect us.”**

**“I’m up for it if we won’t be practising!”** He then reflects upon my words and adds, **“But why should I protect you?”**

**“You have to protect me from bumping into other people.”**

**“It happened again?”** Joshua’s eyes wide open and I fear his eyeballs may pop out of his orbs.

**“It’s been three days that this is happening! I can’t have gotten this clumsy!”** I grab and ruffle my hair in frustration.

**“You’ve always been like that, don’t even try to deny it. Again, should I remind you of how we met?”**

Here he goes. If he doesn’t bring up this accident once a month, he’s not happy.

**“It was an accident, okay? Your foot was in the way!”** I try to defend myself.

**“Soonyoung, my dearest bro, you tripped over your own feet and pushed me into one of the library shelves!”**

**“I.tripped.over.your.foot,”** I slowly spell every word through gritted teeth.

**“Whatever it helps you sleeping!”** He says and starts climbing the stairs.

**“Shut up! Let’s get ready for bed,”** I pout and pass him to get to the bathroom before he can.

**“Okay, you baby!”** He laughs and trails behind me. 

We brush our teeth and wish a good night to my parents before returning to the living room and let out tired bodies fall on the couch.   
We need to get as much sleep as possible.  
Tomorrow, it will be one hell of a day!

  
  
  
  


_“What are you even doing here?_   
_Go away!_   
_You moron, you’re not welcome here!_   
_What did you say?!_ _  
_I--”

  


A sudden loud sound starts resonating into the room and I jump from the couch. I look at my right and see that the sound is coming from the alarm. I have never loved this straight-out-of-hell device this much! I was dreaming of that..guy but thank god it was time to get up!

I shake my head to fight off the drowsiness and walk into the bathroom to spray my face with cold water, just to be sure to erase his face from my mind.

As I’m already upstairs, I grab my uniform from my room and I get ready as fast as I can so I can still make a proper breakfast.  
When I’m done, I go downstairs to wake Joshua up.

**“Hyung, wake up! We need to go.”** I shake him by the shoulder and he stirs in his sleep for a while before cracking an eye open.

**“Why Saturday is so far away?”** Joshua whines, hiding his head under the pillow.

**“It isn’t. Sadly, there are just a few days left before the weekend,”** I sigh.

**“Sadly?”**

**“Yeah, because I don’t have enough time to get ready for the dinner!”**

**“Why did I even ask?”**

**“Come on. Get up or we’ll be late!”**

  
  
  
  
  


Luckily, we get to school on time and as Joshua goes to the library as if he is walking on a runway, I run to our class as fast as I can. I have to talk to Seokmin and tell him the great news before our teacher arrives for the first period.

I bet he will be as excited as me!

I walk into the classroom and I find him looking out of the window. I had no doubts about him being already here.

**“Morning, Seok!”** I chirp with a big smile plastered on my face.

**“Morning, Soons! Why are you smiling like that? It’s kind of creepy as you’re usually grumpy this early in the morning,”** Seokmin says, putting his hands in between us as to keep his distance from me.

**“Good news, that’s why!”**

**“What?”**

**“Shua hyung told me that the guys and he have already scheduled the dinner with us.”**

**“Really? When?”** Seokmin’s eyes grow wide.

**“On Saturday.”**

**“As in THIS Saturday?”** His voice rising in pitch.

**“Exactly.”**

**“Oh my god! I can’t wait!!”**

**“Yeah, me too!!”**

**“Wait, I have nothing to wear!”** His excitement suddenly replaced by worry.

**“Me neither and that’s why we absolutely need to go shopping this afternoon!”**

**“True! We need to be flawless!”**

**“I’m already flawless, though,”** I deadpan and flip my non-existent long hair.

**“It’s better if I shut up on this.”**

I am ready to get back at him when the teacher walks into the classroom. She’s already staring at us and we take it as a sign to be quiet while she takes the attendance. However, we’re still too excited to just shut up, so, when she’s not looking, we pass each other pieces of papers with our thoughts and ideas on what to wear and do at the dinner.   
We’re way too much into it, that we can’t focus on the lesson.   
Luckily for us, it’s just the first week of school so we can still afford to get a little bit distracted.

  
  
  
  


It’s six in the evening and Seokmin should be almost here. I’m on the driveway and, while I’m waiting for Seok, I see the door of Joshua’s house opening and reveal his figure.   
He spots me and gives me a big smile, flailing his arms around to make sure I notice him too. When he sees me waving at him, he starts walking towards my house and I decide it is better to meet him halfway.

**“Hyung! Where are you going?”**

**“Practice at Mingyu’s,”** he says, pointing at the car parked in his driveway. **“What about you? What you’re doing outside?”**

**“I’m waiting for Seokmin. We need to buy something for the dinner, remember?”**

**“Oh, right. I would’ve really liked to come with you but we really need to practice as much as possible.”**

**“Don’t worry, hyung! That is definitely more important than coming with us. Next time, you’ll come with us.”** I shrug my shoulder as to get across the fact that it’s not a big deal.

**“I’m one hundred** percent **positive that ‘next time’ means very soon!”** Joshua shakes his head.

**“What do you mean?”** I ask as his words kind of confused me for a moment.

**“Just that you both like shopping. Nothing more behind my words.”** Joshua draws a cross on his chest as a backup for his statement.

**“It’s relaxing! And don’t act innocent, I know you were pretending just now!”** I huff and puff my cheeks in annoyance.

Suddenly, we hear a horn honking from behind us.  
We both turn around and we see Seokmin getting off from his father’s car.

Joshua checks his wristwatch and widens his eyes.

**“It’s late! I got to go! I’ll text you later!”**  


**“Okay, hyung!”**

Joshua walks away and I run to my house’s driveway to try and jumpscare Seokmin that hadn’t seen me coming from behind him.  
He shrieks and hits me on his arm before stomping away and starting making his way downtown. 

  
  
  


It’s been two hours since Seokmin and I have been walking around, trying to find something to wear. We’ve been in almost all the shops and still haven’t found anything. The clothes seem to be just too fancy for a dinner and we need casual ones. 

Suddenly, a shop grabs my attention. Well, it’s better saying that the outfit on the mannequin in the store window is the thing that grabs my attention.   
The second I lay my eyes on the clothes, I fall in love with them: it’s a pair of skinny fit black jeans, ripped just over the knees; a black shirt with white stamps over it, just the front of it tucked in the jeans; at the feet, a pair of black leather heavy boots.   
It’s one of those outfits that you can wear on more than once. Plus it makes you look cool while being comfortable.

**“Should we enter in here? I would like to try on this one,”** I say as I point to the said outfit.

**“Sure thing, maybe I’ll find something for me, too.”**

We walk in and I ask the shop assistant if is it possible to try the outfit on.   
After telling her the size I need for each item, she gives me everything and shows me the way to an empty fitting room. I get in there and once I’m ready, I open the door to walk out, witnessing a Seokmin with his mouth agape.

**“Does it look good?”** I ask while checking myself into the mirror.

**“Does it look good? This looks amazing on you!”**

**“Are you sure? It’s not too much?”**

**“I’m sure. You’re killing it. Black is definitely your colour,”** Seokmin says as he gives me both his thumbs up.

**“I’m taking it, then!”** I grin from ear to ear, finally relaxed. **“What about you? Don’t you want to try anything on?”**

**“I have already chosen my outfit while you were getting changed.”**

**“Are you sure of your pick?”** I ask, used to Seokmin be this quick and firm when it comes to choosing.

**“Never been this sure!”**

We keep looking for some accessories which can match our outfits, like earrings and necklaces.   
Once we pay for our items, we get out of the shop.  
We’re happy and just a little bit more ready for the big night.

**“What should we do now? There’s a little bit of time left before going back home,”** I ask Seokmin after checking the time on my phone.

**“Should we take a walk in the park along the Han river?”**  


**“I think it’s a great idea! It’s been a while since I’ve gone there.”**  


**“You’ve been away for the entire summer break, of course, it’s been a while!”** Seokmin sniggers.

We walk in silence for a while. Seokmin is observing the people passing by him and I am thinking about the city, the lights and how busy the streets are.

**“You know,”** I start, making Seokmin turn towards me. **“When I was away, I missed Seoul. I think I got used to calling this city my home and it felt weird being far away from it.”**

**“You’ve been living here for the past five years. It’s not a short period of time,”** Seokmin slings his arm over my shoulders. **“Plus, you’ve grown fond of the city and also of the people living here.”**

**“That is true. I think I could never get too far away from Joshua and you. These months without you have been so lonely and boring!”**

**“Aww, that’s so sweet of you!”** Seokmin coos.

**“I know that I have some friends in Japan too, but even when I was with them, it felt as if something was missing. I can’t hide the fact that I would sometimes turn around, expecting to find either Joshua or you and getting sad when you were not there,”** my face falls a bit at the memory of the trip back to my old home.

**“That was cheesy. Why are you like this today? You’re almost scaring me.”** He detaches himself from my side as to highlight the fact that he was scared.

**“Hey! I’m a sweet boy but I strive to hide it!”** I get closer to Seokmin to hug him, but he just avoids me. I put on the expression of someone who experienced the worst betrayal and look at him.

**“Let’s go to the park before I get diabetes or I’ll hit you!”**

  
  
  


As we’re sitting on a bench, I fish my phone out of the pocket to check if there’s a new text from Joshua. The second I take the phone, a new notification from his is shown on the screen.

**Joshuji:**  
_Bro!  
Have you found something?_

**Hoshiya:**  
_Hyung!_  
_Mission complete!_  
 _I found the one!_

**Joshuji:**  
_That’s great!  
What is it? _

**Hoshiya:**  
_Something fabulous, you just need to know this!  
You will see it on Saturday. _

**Joshuji:**  
_Okay, I won’t pressure you even though I’m curious!  
What are you doing now? _

**Hoshiya:**  
_Seok and I are at the Han River for a walk.  
What about you?_

**Joshuji:**  
_We’re still practising._

**Hoshiya:**  
_You still haven’t finished?  
Isn’t it tiring to do that for more than three hours? _

**Joshuji:**  
_It is, I can’t say otherwise.  
However, we need to practice both the songs and the mcing. _

**Hoshiya:**  
_I see...  
Are you still at Mingyu’s? _

**Joshuji:**  
_We’re at mine now.  
Mingyu’s parents got home so we had to leave. _

**Hoshiya:**  
_Oh, I see._

**Joshuji:**  
_Soonie, I got to go.  
The practice’s starting again. _

**Hoshiya:**  
_Okay, hyung!  
Talk to you later! _

I sigh and put my phone back into the pocket of my jeans.   
Seokmin looks at me with a questioning look on his face, as he could understand why I sighed without even speaking.  
I make things easier for him this time, saying out loud what’s bothering me.

**“The guys are still practising.“**

**“They’re really working hard for the sake of the band. They are really passionate about it,”** Seokmin nods along with his words. **“Like this, it’s just a matter of time before they will make their dream come true!”**

**“I hope they will really make it. They deserve it.”**

**“One day, they will be the top of the top.”**

**“It would be great! They would be so happy!”**

**“Right. You know, they say hard work makes the dream work. I think this is the case.”**

I hum as I look at the people promenading on the riverside.  
There are families walking with their children and helping them making big jumps; people cycling or jogging in the chill air of the early hours of the evening; others are sipping on their coffees and munching on snacks as they admire the waters of the river ripple at the light breeze.

I was thinking about drinking something before going home when I have an idea.

  


**“Hey, Seok. Want to come with me to the cafè?”**

**“Why?”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year to all of you!!! Hoping this is going to be one great year for Seventeen and all of us!! 
> 
> I'm sorry if this took quite a while, but Christmas holidays are pretty busy as parents keep coming and visiting to exchange wishes and gifts! I'll try to be quicker with the next one!!


	7. Chapter 7

_**Joshua’s point of view** _

I was getting one with the couch when the doorbell suddenly rings.  
I feel like a meerkat the moment I turn my head towards the door.

_‘I wasn’t expecting anyone to come home. Who’s is it going to be? It won’t be Soonyoung because he has just told me he is at the park with Seokmin.’_

Jeonghan must’ve seen the confused look on my face because he pats my leg and asks, **“Aren’t you going to open?”**

**“I’m going now.”** I sigh as I get up from the couch.

I’m in front of the door, hesitating a bit before opening it and finding the last person that could come into my mind.

It’s Kihyun, my friend and the delivery guy from the cafè we always go to, the _“Coffee & Goodpie”_.

I remember asking the owner why she chose that name.   
She told me she once said _‘goodpie’_ instead of _‘goodbye’_ when leaving a bakery.  
The mistake got kind of stuck in her head and she thought it could be fun to use it as a pun in the name.

**“Good evening, Joshua. I have a delivery for you.”** Kihyun flashes one of his smiles as he waits for me to grab the boxes he is holding midair.

**“Wait, I haven’t ordered anything.”**

**“Oh, I guess they gave me a wrong address back at the cafè. Well, I’m going to take these six caramel macchiatos and this black coffee back then.”** Kihyun is about to leave when something comes up into my mind.

**“Did you say that there are seven coffees?”**

**“Yup.”**

**“Guess they are for me after all and I even know who sent** **these."** He hands me the boxes he's carrying. **"Thank you, Kihyun.”** I say while high-fiving is now free hand.

**“You’re welcome. See you around!”** Like that, he leaves on his scooter. 

I come back into the living room with two boxes: one is full of coffees and another one full of food to munch on while taking a break: sandwiches, cinnamon rolls and pretzels. The only person popping into my mind and that could do this is Soonyoung. He knew that we’re at my house, plus, he has an obsession with the caramel macchiato and I see six of them here. 

**“Who was at the door, hyung?”** Wonwoo asks, eyes glued on the screen of his phone and still laying on the floor.

**“Kihyun, the Coffee & Goodpie delivery guy.”**

**“You ordered coffee?”** He finally looks at me as the word coffee caught his attention.

**“Not me, it was someone else.”**

**“Who?”** He gets up from the floor and immediately sits on the nearest chair.

**“I think it was Soonyoung.”**

**“He told you he sent them?”** Mingyu asks from his place where he is strumming his guitar.

**“No, but it must be his doing. I told him we were here and that Jihoon likes his coffee black from this café. Apparently, he remembers since there’s one in the box.”**

**“I think I may like him,”** Jihoon says, not even bothering to get up and secretly wanting me to bring is coffee to him. **“Plus, I see he has good taste in snacks.”**

**“You say that because these are the things you like eating,”** Seungkwan points out.

**“Of course,”** Jihoon adds.

**“By the way, I want to warn you, Jihoon. If you don’t come here right now, I will eat yours too!”** Seungkwan threatens, hand already making its way into the bag with the snacks.

**“Don’t you even try. You’re a dead man if you touch my food.”** Jihoon jerks up from the couch and runs to where Seungkwan is standing.

**“The same goes for me,”** Mingyu says and this gives an occasion for Jihoon to tease him.

**“That you’re a dead man? Because if it is that what you mean, you’re right.”**

Mingyu looks offended and pouts. He kind of looks like a kicked puppy before seeing Jihoon laughing and understanding that the younger is only messing with him. Mingyu breaks into a smile, you can almost see a tail wagging behind him. Everyone starts giggling at the sight and silence comes again after Seungcheol claps his hands, grabbing our attention.

**“C’mon guys. Let’s take a proper break and eat everything Soonyoung sent. Our stomachs deserve it.”**

We almost roar in approval and sit in a circle on the floor, putting the boxes with coffee and food at the centre.

A bite here, a sip there and everyone was praising and adoring Soonyoung for this little gift.

When even the tiniest crumb is gone, the guys turn towards me and each one of them says something.  
It’s almost creepy as if they have planned to do that since the beginning.

**“Joshua, thank Soonyoung on our behalf,”** Jeonghan says.

**“Yeah. Tell it was kind of him to think about us.”** Seungcheol nods in approvement at his own words.

**“And that we will properly thank him on Saturday,”** Wonwoo adds.

**“And that we will make a surprise for him too.”** Excitement can be heard in Mingyu's voice.

**“And that we adore him for doing this even though he doesn’t personally know us,”** Seungkwan takes a little dramatic pause before adding **“yet.”**

**“Yeah, that,”** Jihoon says, doing a gesture with the hand to make me understand that he agrees with what the others have just said. The guys stare at him, waiting for him to add something more. He rolls his eyes, knowing they won’t let him leave until he speaks again. **“And because he remembered about my preference for coffee.”**

**“Couldn’t have said that before?”** Mingyu asks.

**“Did I have to? You had said everything!”**

**“I will tell him, don’t worry,”** I intervene before the two can start quarrelling again. **“He will be happy hearing that you liked his surprise and knowing he saved our maknae from starvation and grumpiness as he still hadn’t had his daily dose of caffeine,”** I say, gaining a glare from the youngest.

**“So, after this long break, should we start again?”** Seungcheol asking while standing up. 

Everyone screams that, yes, we are ready to start again.   
We keep practising without any pause and it’s past ten in the evening when we decide it’s been enough for today and to wrap up.

**“See you tomorrow, guys!”**

I wave at them as they get in their cars and close the door when they’re out of sight.

I go upstairs and I’m walking towards the bathroom with the intention to take a long steamy shower to relax. My dream of staying hours under the spray of hot water gets shutter the moment I feel the phone buzzing in my pocket.

**Hoshiya:**  
_Did you like the surprise?_

**Joshuji:**  
_I did!  
Wait, I’ll take a shower and I will be at yours._

**Hoshiya:**  
_No need to do that._  
 _I’m already here._  
 _Open the door._

I run downstairs, trying not to slip on the stairs as I am rushing to open the door.

Soonyoung is here, pyjamas already on, school bag thrown over the shoulder, a bag in his left hand with his school uniform and another bag full of food in the right hand.

**“Have you had dinner yet?”** Soonyoung is already inside, taking off his shoes and putting his pair of slippers on.

**“To be honest, no.”**

**“I had imagined that. However, If you don’t eat, you won’t have enough energy not even to stand on your feet!”** He scolds me as if I don’t already know that.

**“I know that but we’ve just wrapped up and I was about to take a shower. Wait, why are you here?”** I ask him, dumbfounded.  
We hadn’t agreed on meeting after the boys left.

**“Why do you think? To stand here in front of you and play the staring game?”** He snorts. **“Of course, I knew you would’ve ended up skipping your dinner so I decided to come here and cook it for you.”**

**“It was a coincidence that you came here when the guys left or you knew it?”** I think I already know the answer, but I wait for him to answer me.

**“I was at the window, waiting for their cars to leave your driveway,”** Soonyoung says trying to look innocent as if he wasn’t stalking us.

**“You did what?”**

**“It doesn’t matter.”** He shrugs and quickly changes the topic. **“Now, go showering while I make dinner.”**

**“Aye, aye.”**

I watch Soonyoung making his way to the stove, bags forgotten next to the kitchen door frame and head already disappearing into the cupboard to take the plates to serve the dinner. I shake my head and smile before going again upstairs.

_‘He really is one of a kind.’_

  


While I’m showering, I think about these past years with him.

Soonyoung had always been a kind guy and he took care of me in every situation. Sometimes it seems like, between the two of us, he is the hyung and doesn’t need me to protect him or to teach him that life can be tough. Well, he already knows that.

Like me, he has first-hand experience about how life can be hard on people.

We were both living abroad before coming to live in a different country whose language we barely spoke. We had to adapt to a different way of living, different from the one we had in Los Angeles and in Japan. I was still a child when I came here so it wasn’t much of a trouble for me, but him...he was already a teenager and had already moved from Korea to Japan years before.

I know how, in the beginning, he used to pretend everything was just fine even though he missed his house and his friends. People don’t know how many times I’ve seen him smiling when all he wanted to do was crying because of the weight he had on his chest.

He is strong and you can see it in the way he faces head-on the difficulties he finds on his path, in the way he fights every day for what he wants, in the way he prefers being silly and loud to hide his emotional side that shows only through his actions, just like today.

**“JOSHUA HYUNG!”**

His yelling from downstairs brings me back to reality.

**“ARE YOU DONE? DINNER WILL GET COLD IF YOU DON’T COME.”**

**“LET ME WEAR SOMETHING AND I WILL BE THERE!”** I yell back.

_**Soonyoung’s point of view** _

Joshua has been in the bathroom for almost thirty minutes.

I bet he was lost in his own thoughts. He has a lot going on in his mind lately.

He is very concerned about the group’s future and does his best to hype the others up. Maybe he feels responsible for them because, in the end, it was his idea to create the group and try to hit the top. If they don’t succeed, Joshua will feel guilty for getting their hopes up only to let them down. 

**“Don’t run, you could fall,”** I say upon hearing loud footsteps coming from the hallway across the kitchen.

**“My name’s not Kwon Soonyoung,”** Joshua says, appearing into the kitchen. **“You’re the clumsy one here.”**

**“I am not.”**

**“Said the person who keeps bumping into people.”**

**“You haven’t just said that…”** I glare at him as he laughs at me.

**“So, where’s my dinner?”** Joshua asks rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

**“At the table, of course. Sit down and make yourself at home,”** I joke as I walk towards the table.

**“I am at home.”** Joshua joins me at the table. **“Oh, wait,”** he says. He was reaching for the chopsticks but stopped midway. **“You haven’t poisoned it, right?”**

**“Oh, god! I got busted. I didn’t want to tell you or else you wouldn’t have eaten!”** I act dramatically as if he really caught me red-handed.

**“I knew it!”**

**“I forgot to bring the dessert with the antidote in it!”**

**“Don’t worry, I will eat it anyway.”** Joshua finally picks his chopsticks and starts eating.

**“You like my cooking that much?”**

**“No, I’m just hungry,”** he says through a mouthful of stir-fried rice.

**“Don’t treat the next best chef of South Korea like this!”**

**“Idiot.”**

I watch Joshua eating everything really fast as if he had been starving for days when, in reality, he had eaten the snacks I sent just a few hours ago. And I still need to understand where the food he eats goes! He is so slim and has a perfect body without even hitting the gym! What a lucky guy!

  
  


After dinner, we wash the dishes together and it ends up being a very bad idea.

We spray water at each other with either our hands or the sponge, making the kitchen even messier than before.  
We dry the little pool we made on the floor, go brushing our teeth, take our position on his two couches and get ready to sleep.

**“This is the third time we sleep together in a week. Did you miss me a lot when I was away?”** I ask turning on my right side to look at him.

**“Actually, no. It was so peaceful and quiet when you weren’t here.”**

**“The audacity! The betrayal!”** I throw one of my pillows at him while he laughs.

**“On a more serious note, thank you.”** He hugs the pillow and turns towards me. **“Thank you for taking care of me and my stomach these past days.”**

**“You don’t have to thank me.”**

**“Oh, and the boys thanked you for the little surprise. They said they will get a surprise for you, too.”  
**

**“They don’t have to!”**

**“But they want to.”** He sighs but it was a content one. **“Everyone appreciated what you did, in particular, Jihoon who was glad you remembered he likes black coffee.”**

**“Stop it! You are flattering too much, all of you did, for a trifle like this.”**

**“It wasn’t a trifle, it was an amazing thing you did. So, on Saturday, you will accept our surprise.”**

**“Okay! Just so you know, I did it because I thought you would’ve been tired and hungry.”**

**“I know that and we appreciated that.”**

**“And I’m happy.” A smile spreads on my face.**

**“And now we really have to sleep. You have classes tomorrow!”** Joshua throws the pillow back at me.

**“What about you?”** I ask, putting the pillow under my head, the other one already secured between my legs. A recently-picked habit. 

**“I won’t work but I will walk you to school anyway.”**

**“Why?”**

**“I took a day off. We agreed to practice in the morning so that we have free time in the afternoon to get things ready for Saturday.”**

**“Okay, now I’m nervous again. Tomorrow’s already Friday! It’s a tragedy!”** I throw the left arm over my face in a theatrical gesture.

**“Don’t be dramatic! Sleep over it.”**

**“I will try! Goodnight, hyung.”**

**“Goodnight, Soonie.”**

  
  
  
  
  
  


It’s morning. The sun is seeping through the living room curtains and I woke up before the alarm could go off. The latter is a really rare event.

I sit up on the couch I was sleeping on and look at the one across me. Joshua isn’t there. He’s already up and that’s pretty weird, it’s even rarer than me getting up early.

I was panicking about him getting to the bathroom before me when a good smell reaches my nose. I feel my stomach rumbling and I start thinking it was this amazing fragrance of food that woke up my stomach and me.

I stretch my limbs before getting up and stepping into the kitchen where I am left with my mouth hanging.

**“I can’t believe my eyes,”** I say while looking at the feast waiting for me at the table.

**“Good morning, Soonie.”** Joshua turns around to greet me, bowl and whiskers still in his hands.

**“Again, I can’t believe my eyes. Is this an illusion?”**

**“What’s making you so surprised?”**

**“The fact that you woke up early to make breakfast.”**

**“It’s not the first time I do this, c’mon.”**

**“If you keep doing this, even the sky will be shocked to the point we will have snow and summer at the same time.”**

**“Oh my god, you’re so not funny Kwon Soonyoung,”** he says, sticking his tongue out at me. 

I sit at the table, taking in all this delicious food displayed in front of me.

**“Why did you do this?”** I ask, looking at Joshua’s back.

**“Nothing in particular. These days you were the one to cook for me and I felt like I was neglecting you.”**

**“You aren’t and I have already said that you don’t need to do anything.”**

**“I guess you don’t want to eat these waffles then. Well, I’m going to make them just for me and eat them by myself.”**

**“Don’t you dare! Give me my waffles!”**

We laugh and start eating once Joshua has finished cooking, trying to be less loud than usual. It’s just half past six in the morning and Joshua’s parents are still sleeping. They went to see a show at the theatre and so they came back home pretty late. If we wake them up, we’re dead meat.

**“Did you wake up because of something? I didn’t hear your alarm going off.”** Joshua’s confused look with his bed hair is something Seokmin should really see. I think he would go crazy about it.

**“I could ask you the same,”** I say, taking a waffle and biting it. **“But as I am really kind, I will answer first. The smell of food woke me up.”**

**“I can’t with you…”** Joshua sighs and facepalms.

**“What about you?”**

**“I felt a little bit nervous but I don’t know why. Do you know what I mean?”**

**“No, because I’m mentally sane.”**

**“You little shit.”** Joshua hits me on the head.

**“I’m just joking!”** I rub the spot he hit. **“Well, it happens. You know, sometimes when you’re too tired, you can’t sleep as well and tight as you want. But, I have to thank your being nervous because it made you get up early and make all of this!”**

**“I would’ve woken up early to cook anyway.”**

**“Of course, Mr I-wake-up-everyday-10-minutes-before-going-to-work. If it wasn’t for your mother, you would be sleeping through all of your alarms.”**

**“One, that was a long name. Two, you’re no better than me. You always get late at school after the first week of classes of every year.”**

**“That’s a different case. While my mind is awake since the moment I open my eyes, my body won’t cooperate until it’s nine.”**

**“Or after a caramel macchiato.”**

**“Indeed.”**

We both laugh at our bickering. We really can’t stop doing that.

**“Keep eating! We will take my car today so you won’t be late.”**

  


I finish eating my breakfast and while Joshua washes the dishes, I go and get ready for school. When it’s his turn to get changed, I take my phone to text Seokmin, telling that I’m on my way to school and to wait for me at the gate.

The short trip in the car is loud as usual, blasting music so loud with the windows rolled down that people from other cars or the street watch us as if they were so close to suing us for listening to music this early in the morning.

Joshua pulls over the gate and Seokmin is already here, kind of in a daydream while staring at us. Joshua waves at him and Seokmin snaps out of it just when I close the door of the car, smiling and waving back at Joshua. I shake my head and grab him by the wrist to drag him inside the courtyard.

  


**“Why did you do that?”** He asks, quite annoyed before realising what he said and getting himself together. **“I mean, there was no need to drag me.”**

**“Your crush was showing.”**

**“What crush? What are you talking about?”**

**“Don’t play dumb because you have already confessed to me that you like him. And if you ask me, you were pretty obvious out there.”**

**“Really?”**

**“Yes, you had this expression on your face, smiling like an idiot,”** I say, mimicking his expression of a while ago.

**“Did I? Damn, I need to control my facial muscles.”**

**“You really should if you don’t plan to confess to him in the near future.”**

**“Eh? Confess? Have you gone crazy?”** Seokmin shrieks.

**“Why? I think you should. It’s worth trying,”** I say, making my way towards our classroom.

Seokmin froze for a while on his spot before trailing after me and saying, **“No. I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”**

**“You won’t ruin it. You know that Joshua isn’t the type of guy who will end your friendship because of that.”**

**“You’re right. He isn’t the kind of person who would do that. However, I am. I know that I wouldn’t be able to look at him or stop my heart from hurting if he’d rejected me. I don’t want my heart to get shattered every time he will look with adoring eyes at someone who’s not me.”** Seokmin’s smile has faded and his eyes are already glassy at the thought of a possible rejection.

**“Oh, Seok. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to get your mood down.”** I sling my arm around his shoulders and bring him closer to me. **“If you think that hiding your crush is what you need to do at the moment, then go ahead. The only thing I want to say is that you should confess before this secret crushes you more than an eventual rejection would.”**

**“I will remember that,”** he says, kind of defeated as he looks at the ground. He then clears his throat, flashes a smile at me to show that he is okay. **“Now, let’s go to our classroom, shall we?”**

  


This school day goes by rather quickly. I could even focus on the lessons and they were actually interesting.

_Wait._

What is happening to me? I woke up early, I said that classes were interesting...am I sick? Maybe I am or maybe it’s just the fact that this is the last class of the week in which teachers pressure us less than they usually do as they’re still relaxed because of the holidays.

We’re walking in the hallways ready to leave when Seokmin says he will drop me at my house as he knows about Joshua not being here in the library. I almost want to say no, wanting to walk alone for a bit when he reminds me of the possibility of meeting that knob again. I shiver at the thought of his deep voice and gladly accept the offer.

I just got off from the car when Seokmin rolls the window down and calls for me.

**“Hey, Soonie!”**

**“Yeah?”** I turn around and look at his head peeking from the window.

**“Can I come to your house tomorrow? We can get ready at yours.”**

**“Uh?”**

**“For the dinner with Jeonghan’s bitches.”**

**“Oh, that. Yeah, sure. Joshua said we will dine at his so it’s better if you come here. We’re closer.”**

**“That’s perfect, then!”**

**“Come right after lunchtime, we can chill a bit before getting ready.”**

**“Sounds good to me! Well, see you tomorrow!”**

**“Bye!”**

I wave at him and bow to his father before turning around again and walking into my house.

  


The first thing I do when I reach my bedroom is connecting my phone to the Bluetooth speaker and blasting some music.

Thanks to Joshua, I have a lot of Jeonghan’s bitches’ songs on there. They are the kind of songs you either start jamming or crying on. There’s no in between.   
The guys are really good at delivering their feelings through music and I really hope that more people will recognise their talent. They really deserve to reach the top and stay there for as long as it’s possible.  
I hope it will be for a very long time. 

I plop myself onto the bed after getting changed and decide I will rest a bit before going downstairs to make dinner.

As soon as I throw an arm over my eyes, the phone vibrates.

**Joshuji:**  
_Have you bumped into someone since I wasn’t there to prevent it?_

**Hoshiya:**  
_Luckily not.  
Seok took care of me and drove me home._

**Joshuji:  
** _That’s good to hear._

**Hoshiya:**  
_Lucky me._

**Joshuji:**  
_You have me as your best friend, you’re definitely lucky.  
Btw, how was school?_

**Hoshiya:**  
_Was good.  
Today I was actually focused on everything._

**Joshuji:**  
_Who are you and what you’ve done to Soonyoung?_

**Hoshiya:**  
_Hyung!  
That’s not funny._

**Joshuji:**  
_You wouldn’t be calling me hyung in this kind of situation.  
Who are you?_

**Hoshiya:**  
_Your mom._

**Joshuji:**  
_Eomma!_

**Hoshiya:**  
_I’m rolling my eyes at you, know that!_  
_However, I can deduct from this that you’re either on a break or you have already finished._

**Joshuji:**  
_The second._  
_Now we’re taking turns for a shower and resting before arranging some things._

**Hoshiya:**  
_Do you need some help?_

**Joshuji:**  
_We’re okay like this._  
_Don’t worry._  
_We have Seungkwan who is the top when it comes to organisation._

**Hoshiya:**  
_Okay, seems that I can trust him._

**Joshuji:**  
_Don’t you trust me?_

**Hoshiya:**  
_Let me think about it...  
No._

**Joshuji:**  
_Well, I see that the dinner is cancelled, like our friendship._

**Hoshiya:**  
_C’mon hyung!  
If I didn’t trust you, I wouldn’t have eaten breakfast this morning._

**Joshuji:**  
_Idiot._

**Hoshiya:** _  
I know._

**Joshuji:**  
_Soons, I got to go._  
_It’s my turn to take a shower._  
 _Talk to you later._

**Hoshiya:**  
_Later, hyung!_

I close the Kakao app and set the alarm for an hour later before tucking myself under the blankets to finally rest.

In days like this, life is just wonderful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After a week, finally a chapter!  
> I wanted to upload it earlier this week but svt theories just took over me and I spent a lot of time doing researches and discussing details with my fellow carats from the vrp gc.  
> However, the big day in this fic is about to come!


	8. Chapter 8

_**Joshua’s point of view** _

I dry my body after a quick shower, wear a pair of jeans and a white shirt and walk downstairs where the boys are waiting for me.  
There’s only Mingyu, Wonwoo, Jihoon and Seungkwan sitting on the couch and zapping through the tv channels. Seungcheol and Jeonghan left early because they had to be somewhere for their monthiversary. Yes, they’ve been together for four months now after pining for who-knows-how-long. But this is a story for another time.

**“Hey, guys, I’m ready. Let’s go grocery shopping for tomorrow’s dinner,”** I say to the guys who turn to look at me at the same time.  
This synchronisation kind of scares me.

**“We will use your car?”** Wonwoo asks.

**“Yeah, or we can’t carry all the bags back here.”**

**“I will sit at the front.”** Jihoon gets up from the couch and starts walking towards the entrance.

**“No, I will!”** Seungkwan screams, running after Jihoon.

**“But it’s my turn!”** Mingyu whines, still sitting on the couch.

**“It’s my car so I’ll be the one choosing who will sit next to me. Age will be the choosing factor so, Wonwoo, you sit at the front.”**

**“Yes! Bye, you losers!”** Wonwoo mocks the other three.

**“I need to sit between those two? Fuck my life,”** Jihoon complains.

**“Our Jihoonie will be squished between his two favourite hyungs,”** Seungkwan mocks.

**“How cute.”** Mingyu goes for pinching Jihoon’s cheek but he gets stopped.

**“If you try to touch me, I will kill you with your own guitar,”** Jihoon threatens, his glare really scary. 

The two hyungs quickly retreat their hands, fearing for their life. They know Jihoon’s threats aren’t empty words.  
Once, Mingyu tried to hug him and a moment later, he was running away from Jihoon who was wielding my acoustic guitar as a weapon.

We reach my car in the garage and begin our “special mission” aka the surprise.  
As a surprise for both Soonyoung and Seokmin, we’ve decided to cook something for them instead of ordering something from the take out. We thought that putting more effort in this dinner to show how grateful we are will be more appreciated than anything else. Well, I have to admit that is mostly because they would nag at us for spending money buying something that, according to them, is useless.  
Luckily, we’ve got Mingyu on our side. He is a very skilled cook even though he’s a bit messy and could probably set the house on fire. It’s worth the risk, right? 

We drive past Soonyoung’s house and I see the lights are all off. He is home but I bet he’s playing something on his phone or he may be sleeping, the only two things he does when he has nothing to do. It’s then that from the rearview mirror, I see Jihoon suddenly shivering.

**“Jihoon, are you cold? I saw you shivering,”** I ask worried Jihoon could’ve gotten sick.

**“I’m not cold. I don’t know why but I just felt a weird vibe and that sent shivers down my spine.”** Jihoon hugs himself, still confused at why he shivered.

**“Uh?”**

**“I don’t know but it’s nothing to worry about.”**

**“Okay. If you say so…”** I drop the conversation and turn on the music, just a little bit.

After another ten minutes of driving and hearing Mingyu and Seungkwan bickering over what kind of dessert to eat, we arrive at the supermarket. As we get off the car, I check the time.

**“So, the market is going to close in less than an hour,”** I say while we all step into the store.

**“We need to hurry and take the items we need,”** Wonwoo intervenes.

**“Mingyu, you’re the chef. Tell us what we should grab and we will.”** I look at him and give a small nod to encourage him.

**“Seungkwan and Jihoon, you go grab two carts and then join us at the meat aisle,”** Mingyu confidently says. **“Wonwoo hyung, you go finding some bread, the baguette kind if there’s any left, and try to grab some snacks for the aperitif. Joshua hyung and I will go to the meat aisle.”**

We all nod and then separate, every one with his task to fulfil. I see that Mingyu is well organised, meaning that he already knows what to cook for tomorrow. It’s a pity though that we don’t know what’s crossing his mind and we can’t make things quicker and easier by going and take items on our own instead of waiting for his instructions.

At the meat aisle, he takes a lot of different cuts and kinds of meat: pork, beef and lamb skewers.

Jihoon and Seungkwan arrive with the carts.

**“Leave them to us,”** I say, taking one of the carts from Seungkwan’s hands.

**“Yeah, you go grab ramen, seaweed, carrots, eggs, spam and rice,”** Mingyu lists.

**“We will be doing kimbap?”** Seungkwan asks after realising to what use the ingredients will be put.

**“And bibimbap.”**

**“Don’t forget the kimchi. Soonyoung loves it,”** I add knowing that Soonyoung will eat a ton of it.

The two disappear with their new task and, at the same time, Wonwoo appears with all the things Mingyu asked for and a lot more.

**“I didn’t ask for _ALL_ of this, hyung.”** Mingyu’s eyes wide open.

**“I know. I got a little bit too enthusiastic and ended up bringing things I wanted to eat.”**

**“Good job. A lot of this will disappear into our stomachs while cooking. I’m sure about that,”** I say to back Wonwoo up.

**“True,”** Mingyu giggles. **“Wonwoo hyung, can you grab some fruit and look for Seungkwan and Jihoon? We’ll meet at the drinks aisle.”**

**“Okay!”**

Wonwoo goes grabbing the fruit and we stop by the deep-frozen food section to grab some ice cream and some other sweets.  
To drink, we take beer and soju for us adults and as Jihoon, Soonyoung and Seokmin are still minors, we grab a couple of bottles of coke for them. Well, Jihoon basically lives off of coke. It’s the only thing he drinks besides black coffee.

We wait for the rest of them to reach us here and, with our two carts completely full, we go to the checkout. We really bought a lot of things, who knows if we can cook everything on time.

Once we’re at home, we put the groceries away.

**“Mingyu, when should we start cooking?”** I ask as he passes me the items to put in the cupboard.

**“Mmmh...at around ten in the morning?”**

**“That early?!”** The pitch of my voice raising of an octave or two.

**“Yeah, so we don’t rush things for the preparation. For the actual cooking, we’ll start an hour and a half before they’ll come here,”** he explains as if it was the most obvious thing of the world.

**“Okay.”** I turn towards the other three boys and say to them, “ **Guys, Mingyu and I will take care of everything. You can come in the afternoon.”**

**“Don’t worry, hyung. We can help you. Am I right guys?”** Wonwoo says and then looks at the younger duo at his left.

**“Right! We can still help around,”** Seungkwan says.

**“Should you sleep here then? So you won’t go back and forth,”** I propose to them so it would be easier and less tiring for them.

**“I think we should sleep at our houses tonight so that tomorrow we can bring our outfits for the night,”** Wonwoo says.

**“At least stay here to have dinner. It has been a long day.”**

**“If you insist this much…”** Seungkwan starts.

**“We’ll stay here,”** Mingyu ends his friend’s sentence.

**“But we’ll be the ones to order and pay for the pizza. You didn’t let us pay at the supermarket so don’t even think about paying now too,”** Wonwoo adds and I cannot say no. I know that if I even try to do so, he won’t give up until I let him do what he wants.

**“Yay! Pizza!!”** The three youngsters scream at the same time. 

After a mess to decide which kinds of pizzas to eat, Wonwoo menages to order them and half an hour later, the Domino’s delivery guy rings the bell. We settle in the living room and turn on the tv to watch some variety shows.

It’s always great to spend time like this with the boys. They’re always ready to laugh and joke around, making the atmosphere enjoyable and making you forget about how tired or sad you are. They’re really amazing people to have around and I don’t know what would I be doing without them.

_**Soonyoung’s point of view** _

I don’t know what would I be doing without naps! I feel recharged and fresh!

Now, it’s time to make dinner before it gets too late!

While I was cooking, I get a text. 

**Joshuji:**  
_Are you there?_

**Hoshiya:**  
_Yes, I am._

**Joshuji:**  
_Slept well?_

**Hoshiya:**  
_How do you know that I’ve slept?_

**Joshuji:**  
_I drove past your house earlier and saw the lights off._  
_So you were either sleeping or playing games._  
_I went for the most obvious one._

**Hoshiya:**  
_You’re scary._  
_I could sue you for stalking._  
_However_  
_Where did you go?_  
_Weren’t the boys at yours?_

**Joshuji:**  
_They were.  
__We went somewhere._

**Hoshiya:**  
_Where?_

**Joshuji:**  
_It’s something between me and them.  
You don’t need to know that._

**Hoshiya:**  
_Oh c’mon!  
There’s no secret between the two of us._

**Joshuji:**  
_I had to go grocery shopping for my mom and they tagged along._

**Hoshiya:**  
_What a man of the house!  
__We need to find you a boyfriend._

**Joshuji:**  
_What akjfjkdaf_

 **Hoshiya:**  
_What?  
You were about to drop the phone and send that?_

**Joshuji:**  
_No fkafjakdl_

**Hoshiya:**  
_Then what?_

**Joshuji:  
** _Jihoon._

**Hoshiya:**  
_Jihoon?_

**Joshuji:**  
_He’s bothering me, like one of those cats who need attention._ _  
He sits next to me and it’s randomly touching the keys on the screen._

**Hoshiya:**  
_What the hell? Hahaha_

**Joshuji:**  
_Hi, Soonyoung._  
_It’s Jihoon._  
_I stole Shua hyung’s phone._

**Hoshiya:**  
_Hi, Jihoon!  
__Will you survive his anger after this?_

**Joshuji:**  
_He loves me too much to be angry at me._ _  
Plus, if he doesn’t catch me, I’m safe._

**Hoshiya:**  
_What do you mean?_

**Joshuji:**  
_At this very moment, I’m running away from him so he doesn’t catch me._

**Hoshiya:**  
_Run in the bathroom and lock the door!  
__You’ll be safe then._

**Joshuji:**  
_I’ve just done that and he’s knocking at the door like a mad man._

**Hoshiya:**  
_I think it’s better if you give him his phone back hahaha.  
I don’t know why he’s so jealous of it._

**Joshuji:**  
_You’re right._  
_Well, I’m going to hand it to him._  
_See you tomorrow!_

**Hoshiya:**  
_Yeah, see you!_

**Joshuji:**  
_Soonie, just wait a minute.  
I’m going to kill Jihoon and then talk to you._

**Hoshiya:**  
_Oh, c’mon._  
_Let him be!_  
_He seems nice._

**Joshuji:**  
_He thanked you and said that you seem nice too._

**Hoshiya:**  
_What?  
You told him that?_

**Joshuji:**  
_No, he’s again next to me and read the text._

**Hoshiya:**  
_Why did you let him?_  
_You know that I’m shy!_  
_Don’t let people see what I write._

**Joshuji:**  
_Don’t worry, he’s gone.  
Mingyu called him to play Fifa._

**Hoshiya:**  
_How can I believe you?_

**Joshuji:**  
_Trust me!_

**Hoshiya:**  
_I will just because I don’t have time to waste.  
I need to finish making dinner._

**Joshuji:**  
_What a man of the house.  
_ _We need to find you a boyfriend._

**Hoshiya:**  
_I’ve said that first!_

**Joshuji:**  
_Doesn’t mean it doesn’t relate to you too!  
__I will set you a blind date._

**Hoshiya:**  
_Don’t you dare!_  
_It’s too awkward and I need to choose my date._

**Joshuji:**  
_But they still need to get approved by me._

**Hoshiya:  
** _The same goes for your date._

**Joshuji:**  
_Hahaha okay!_

**Hoshiya:**  
_Hyung, I got to go._  
_Mom’s here and I need to hurry with the cooking._  
_See you tomorrow!_  
_Goodnight._

**Joshuji:**  
_Goodnight._

I greet my mom who just got home and is still wandering at the entrance, trying to take off her shoes. My dad is still away for his business trip, so it’s just the two of us in the house.

**“Hi, sweetheart,”** my mom greets me and sends me a flying kiss.

**“Hi, mom. How was work?”**

**“It was good. Not too much to do today.”**

**“That’s good to hear!”**

**“What about you?”** She asks after finally taking her shoes off and walking towards the living room to put her bag and jacket on the armchair.

**“I took a nap after coming back from school. Oh, tomorrow Seokmin is coming here.”**

**“Sleepover?”**

**“No, mom. We need to go to Joshua hyung’s for dinner.”**

**“It will be the three of you?”**

**“Nope, there will be Joshua’s friends too. You know, those from the band.”**

**“Oh, I see. Those you’ve been dying to meet, right?”**

**“Exactly! So I need to make a good first impression.”**

**“Why?”** She asks, curious as to why her son cares so much about the first impression when he usually doesn’t.

**“Because they matter a lot to hyung and I don’t want to look annoying or else,”** I say while staring at my feet, knowing that this could seem a stupid reason.

**“Well, you are kind of annoying,”** my mom mocks me to lighten up the mood and make me smile.

**“Mom! I’m your son! You should be saying the opposite! You’re supposed to have a biased opinion!”** I whine to her.

**“You know that I don’t like being biased.”**

**“Betrayed even by my mother, my own blood…”**

**“Don’t be like that and go set the table. I will bring the plates.”**

I do what my mom said and wait for her to come and join me at the table.  
We eat and between a mouthful and another, I tell her what happened before with Joshua and Jihoon and try to get some advice for the night. She tells me that she will be seeing one of her friends tomorrow and then she has to get dad at the airport and probably be home before I come back from the dinner.

After eating, we wash the dishes together, then I send her to relax by watching the tv while I mop the floor. I wish her a good night and go into my room.

As soon as I throw the blankets over my body, anxiety hits me. My stomach has a big knot and my heart races. I know that it may seem as if I’m overreacting but I know how much this means for Joshua. It’s an important day for him more than it is for me. This dinner means to bring together two important parts of his life. He really wants that the guys and Seokmin and I get along well.

The more I think about it, the more the knot gets tight.

_‘I guess it’s better to sleep so I can stop thinking. I need to be positive and thinking that tomorrow everything will be perfect!’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A filler chapter before the big day!  
> I will try to update the fic as soon as possible! I'm excited for this!!


	9. Chapter 9

Mom’s already out to meet her friend and so I can get up from my bed at around noon. This is just because I have to clean a bit around my room before Seokmin comes or else I will stay under my blanket until hunger overcomes laziness.   
However, cleaning helps me not to think about tonight and forget about the nervousness that is hitting me, harder than a rock. My heart starts racing like crazy if I only think about the dinner.

As I dust off the shelves next to my desk, I text Joshua to know how’s he doing.

**Hoshiya:**   
_Good morning, hyung!_

  
  
Not even thirty seconds pass before Joshua replies.

**Joshuji:**   
_It was about time!_

**Hoshiya:**   
_It’s Saturday and I deserve sleeping a little while longer than I usually do._

**Joshuji:**   
_You slept while we were already working for tonight’s dinner._

**Hoshiya:**  
_I don’t know what you guys are doing_  
 _But_  
 _Are you sure you don’t need some kind of help?_

**Joshuji:**   
_We don’t._  
 _We’re doing great like this._  
 _You know, even Jeonghan is helping us!_  
 _So it’s okay._

**Hoshiya:**   
_If you say so…_  
 _But if you need help, just call._  
 _I’m only one call away!_

**Joshuji:**   
_Stop listening to Charlie Puth!  
I can’t with him anymore because of Wonwoo’s cousin. _

**Hoshiya:**   
_???_

**Joshuji:**   
_Wonwoo’s cousin, Jungkook, loves Charlie and blasts his song 24/7._

**Hoshiya:**   
_That was random.  
But poor your ears. _

**Joshuji:**   
_I can feel the sarcasm of the last text._

**Hoshiya:**   
_Damn, you know me too well._

**Joshuji:**   
_I do.  
Btw, don’t worry and go get ready for tonight. _

**Hoshiya:**   
_Yes, sir.  
Seokmin will be here anytime soon. _

**Joshuji:**   
_Already?  
The dinner is at eight! _

**Hoshiya:**   
_We will eat something_  
 _Then watch a movie_  
 _Lastly, we will get ready._  
 _You know, a typical Seoksoon afternoon._

_Joshuji:_   
_Oh, okay._

**Hoshiya:**   
_Did you really think that we were already going to dress up for tonight?  
Okay, we are queens and want to be perfect but we do not need all this time. _

**Joshuji:**   
_It could be possible._

**Hoshiya:**   
_Said the one who spends 30 minutes every morning just to fix his hair._

**Joshuji:**   
_That’s not true._

**Hoshiya:**   
_Yes, it is._

**Joshuji:**   
_I need to go.  
For what you’ve just said, you won’t be eating at all tonight. _

**Hoshiya:**   
_Hyung, you can’t let me starve!_

**Joshuji:**   
_Eat at your home then!_

**Hoshiya:**   
_Don’t make me use my cuteness on you._

**Joshuji:**   
_Oh, Lord._  
 _I will give you all the food you want._  
 _Please don’t do anything cute, it’s terrible._

**Hoshiya:**   
_It’s not terrible.  
It’s adorable. _

**Joshuji:**   
_It’s definitely terrible._

**Hoshiya:**   
_Go away!_

**Joshuji:**   
_See you tonight!_

I put my phone on the desk without even replying to Joshua. My cute acts aren’t terrible! Joshua says that because he doesn’t understand the art of my cuteness.

I am making my bed when the doorbell rings. Seokmin’s here early than scheduled yesterday just because mom’s not home. It’s been a while since we last cooked something at home and had a lazy afternoon together.

**“Hi, Soonie!”** Seokmin lifts his hand, waiting for a high five.

**“Hi, Seok!”** I high five him. **“How are you feeling?”**

**“Kind of nervous?!”** He answers as he fixes the backpack stringing on his shoulder.

**“I feel you. The pressure is just too much to handle.”**

**“That’s because we don’t want to screw things up.”**

**“Damn, you’re right. Come in.”** I move so that he can walk in. **“Give me your bag and jacket, I’ll bring them upstairs.”**

**“Thank you.”**

**“I don’t think I need to tell you but make yourself at home,”** I say when I’m halfway through the stairs. 

Seokmin doesn’t answer so I turn around and crouch to peek on him. I can’t help but chuckle at the sight: Seokmin had already his head stuck in the fridge to grab a soft drink.  
I run upstairs, launch his things on my bed and return in the kitchen, my stomach already rumbling.

**“Okay, so what about ramyeon for lunch?”** I ask him while grabbing one of the pots.

**“Sounds good to me!”** Seokmin then bring his thumb and index around his chin and thinks for a while before asking **“Shall we eat first and then watch a movie or do the two things at the same time?”**

**“Of course, we do that at the same time.”**

**“Perfect! I’ll choose the movie!”**

**“And I’ll cook the ramyeon!”**

**“What a perfect team we are.”** And we do our secret handshake ending with a perfect mid-air high-five.

After that, I turn around to get the instant ramyeon packs from the cupboard and Seokmin walks into the living room. It takes a while to get things ready because we do eat a lot of ramyeon and we’ve already watched a ton of movies, but less then a half an hour and we’re already sitting right in front of the tv, the pot between the two of us and the opening credits already rolling.

  


When people say that times flies when you’re enjoying yourself it’s true. We got to watch a couple of movies. 21 and 22 Jump Street. We laughed a lot at how crack this series is and Seokmin couldn’t stop impersonating Channing Tatum in his iconic line _“My name’s Jeff.”_   
Without even realising, it was already time to get ready for the night.

**“So, let’s do it like this.”** I clasp my hands and rub them together as I think of how to organise things. **“You take a shower first and I’ll wash the dishes and clean a bit around downstairs.”  
**

**“Are you sure? I can help you with the cleaning.”**

**“Don’t worry. We’ll be quicker this way.”**

**“I’ll be as fast as lightning then.”**

Seokmin goes upstairs and I start washing the dishes, the thing I love doing the most.   
What I like about this chore is that above the sink there’s a window so I can look at the outside world while I do the dishes.

I look at the sky and see that there are some clouds here and there. They have weird shapes and the setting sun gives them pink, light purple and orange hues making them look like cotton candy. It’s a spectacle that you can see every day, but it still fascinates me how every sunset is different from the one of the day before and the day before that.   
The same sun setting in the same sky standing above us but the details always change.   
It’s breathtakingly beautiful and, when I admire it, I wish I could be able to draw that, to copy on a sheet of paper that fantastic scenery and its various shades.

**“Soonie! I’m done! It’s your turn!”**

Seokmin’s voice coming from upstairs makes me snap out of my reverie.

**“I’m coming in a bit! I need to dry the dishes!”** I yell back at him.

I dry and put the dishes back into the cupboard before going upstairs to take a shower in the minimum amount of time possible.   
While I shower, Seokmin is in front of the mirror as he dries his hair with a towel before using the hairdryer. He’s thinking about something and you can see it from the expression he’s wearing on his face.

**“Hey, Soonie. What do you think I should say when I walk in?”** Seokmin asks me, breaking the almost quietness of the room, the only noise was of the water running from the shower head.

**“Ehm, good evening?”** My tone uncertain as I don’t know if he’s being serious or he’s just kidding me.

**“Isn’t it too formal? I mean they’re guys around our age.”** Seokmin is being serious.

**“What are you talking about?”** I giggle at his sudden concern on how to greet the others.

**“I don’t even know anymore. I can’t think straight!”** He grabs his still wet hair with his hands.

**“I can see that. I don’t think we need to worry, Joshua is going to put us at our ease.”**

**“I really hope so.”** He sighs.

**“Yeah. By the way, the guys seem just fine so we will be okay.”**

**“How do you know that?”** Seokmin turns towards me, curious by the confidence of this statement.

**“If it wasn’t like this, Joshua wouldn’t introduce them to us.”** I take a little pause trying not to sound too shy before adding, **“Plus, yesterday I talked to Jihoon.”**

**“What? How? Did you meet him?”** He shrieks.

**“No, no. We talked over text. He took Joshua’s hyung phone while we were texting and-”**

**“Yah! And you haven’t told me?”**

**“It was nothing big! He just told me he was running away from Shua who wanted to get him and get his phone back.”**

**“That’s so Shua-like.”** Seokmin smiles as he pronounces Joshua’s name. **“Did he say something else?”**

**“Not much. I told Shua that Jihoon seemed nice and Jihoon read that and said I’m nice too.”** I can feel the blush slowly creeping on my cheeks despite the cold water running on my skin.

**“Oh.”** Seokmin starts wiggling his brows and smirking as he wanted to imply something else.

**“What?”**

**“Nothing.”** He can’t stop smirking.

**“Don’t get any weird idea! I don’t even know him!”**

**“He doesn’t know you but still complimented you a lot for the surprise.”**

**“How do you know that?”**

**“Shua hyung told me.”**

**“Oh, so you two now talk behind my back?”**

**“Us? Never.”**

**“Yes, you do!”**

**“Yah! It’s not the time to bicker over this. Hurry up or we will be late.”**

**“Just remember that this is not over. Don’t you have to use the hairdryer?”**

**“Yup. Five minutes and it’s yours. Then, I’ll go in the room and get dressed.”**

After having dried my hair, I go back to my room.   
Seokmin is already dressed up: a white t-shirt tucked in a pair of black jeans; a shirt which was longer at the back was worn open over the t-shirt; at his feet, he has the same pair of boots as mine and, around his neck, two different kinds of silver necklaces.

I make a long, low whistle.

**“Wow! You look good!”**

**“I know, right?”**

**“If I didn’t know that you like Shua hyung, I would definitely hit on you. You look that good, bro.”**

**“Bro, thanks.”** Seokmin wipes a fake tear.

**“Bro.”** I open my arms and walk towards him.

We bro-hug and then start laughing at our weird way of complimenting each other.

By the time I finish dressing up, it’s a quarter to eight.

**“Should we wear a bit of makeup?”** I suddenly suggest.

**“I haven’t brought any, though.”**

**“You can use mine and I was thinking of something really light. Like, just a bit of eyeshadow and eyeliner.”**

**“That can do.”**

We put makeup on and we’re ready for the night.   
I leave a post-it for mom and dad, telling them that we’re at Joshua’s. I grab the house keys, wear my boots and we are finally outside.

**“Are you ready?”** Seokmin starts.

**“I’m ready.”**

**“Are you ready?”**

**“Okay, let’s go.”**

**“I’m ready. You ready?”**

**“I’m ready. You ready?”**

**“Okay, let’s go.”**

**“You ready?”**

**“I’m ready.”**

**“I’m ready.”**

**“Okay.”**

By the time we finish with this antics of ours to recharge our energy level, we’re in front of Joshua’s door. I ring the bell and that was the exact moment chaos blew behind that door and one could hear it from the outside. People shouting to close the doors to hide something, bickering over who should open the front door.

Seokmin and I look at each other and can’t help but chuckle, trying to imagine what’s happening in there.

Finally, the door opens revealing a handsome tall boy with silver hair and a killer smile.

**“Hi, guys. Come in.”** The boy moves to let us enter.

We both give a shy nod to thank him.

**“Guys! You’re on time!”** Joshua hyung welcomes us with open arms. **“Soonie, I’m so surprised by that.”**

**“What do you mean?”** I ask.

**“You’re usually a straggler!”**

**“True,”** Seokmin agrees.

**“C’mon, guys. Stop it. I can be punctual when I want to!”** I whine at Joshua.

**“Okay, okay. I will stop teasing you...for now.”** Joshua goes to the centre of the living room and wriggles his hand to make us follow him. **“It’s time to introduce you!”** He turns towards the boys sitting on the couches. **“Guys, these two are Soonyoung and Seokmin.”** He then turns towards us and points at the silver-haired boy. **“The guy who opened the door is Seungcheol.”**

**“Hi, again.”** Seungcheol lifts his hand to greet us.

**“The blondie sitting beside him is Jeonghan, his boyfriend and the one who gave the band its name. He may look like an angel but, trust me, he’s the devil,”** Joshua says, pointing at the said person.

**“Shua, we’ll talk about this later,”** Jeonghan threatens through gritted teeth. He then flashes a smile to us. **“It’s nice to meet you, guys.”**

Joshua rolls his eyes and points at the guy sitting on the other couch and bothering his black-haired friend. **“The hyperactive and sassy one with dirty blonde hair is Seungkwan. I think that you three will definitely get along well.”**

**“Hi, guys! Let’s be best friends!”** Seungkwan shouts, wriggling his arms in the air.

**“The shy boy next to him looks like an emo and soulless person but is actually a cutie with us hyungs and cracks a lot of dad jokes. His name is Wonwoo.”**

Wonwoo doesn’t speak and just waves at us with a shy smile.

_‘Wow, he is handsome.’_

**“And you already know the big puppy, Mingyu.”**

As if on cue, the said boy emerges from the kitchen, quickly closing the door behind him.

**“It’s a pleasure to meet all of you,”** I say, bowing to all of them.

**“Right, it’s really a pleasure,”** Seokmin repeats after me and bowing too.

**“C’mon! Don’t be shy and come sitting next to us.”** Seungcheol pats the space next to him on the couch.

**“Where’s Jihoon?”** Jeonghan asks, laying his head on Seungcheol’s shoulder. 

**“He’s still upstairs to get changed,”** Joshua answers as he sits on the couch next to Seokmin. **“He’s sorry for sure and will soon be here.”**

With that said, we start talking about the usual things: school, job, music and other hobbies and interests.

The boys are really nice and they put us at ease at the speed of light.

I can’t help but notice how the six of them, including Joshua, are handsome and as hot as hell. I never thought that I would be standing in a room with six fine boys who are also funny and good at music. It’s like a dream. They are the type of guy every living being would want as their partner. Everyone looks perfect but the expectation gets higher because they keep saying ‘the best one has yet to come’. By the best one, they mean Jihoon. They said that even if he’s the shortest among them, he’s the hottest.

_‘If they are hot like this, how’s Jihoon going to look like? I bet he is some kind of Adonis.’_

As I was thinking about him, the sound of footsteps can be heard coming from upstairs.

_‘It’s him.’_

I hold my breath as I see a pair of legs draped in skinny light blue ripped jeans climbing down the stairs. Now the torso can be seen. He’s wearing a black t-shirt tucked into his jeans and a long shirt of the same colour of his jeans. Slowly, I can start seeing the face and…

_‘Oh no.’_

**“It’s unbelievable,”** I whisper as I freeze on the spot with a very much visible stunned expression on my face.

Seokmin shakes me, asking if there’s a problem, but I can’t seem to answer him.

**“That’s not possible. I can’t believe it.”** I keep saying like a mantra.

**“What’s wrong?”** Seokmin asks again.

**“I need to go to the toilet,”** I cry out, suddenly getting up from the couch. **“Seokmin, come with me.”**

I grab Seokmin by the wrist and drag him in the nearest bathroom of the floor before Jihoon could see me.

**“Soonyoung, what’s happening? You’re so pale as if you’ve just seen a ghost.”** Seokmin puts his hands on my shoulders and makes me sit on the rim of the bathtub.

**“A ghost would’ve been better.”** I groan and bring my hands to my face to cup it. **“What am I going to do, Seok?”**

**“What are you talking about?”** He asks with a very much confused expression on his face.

**“The boy who was coming downstairs is...is…”**

**“Jihoon, he’s Jihoon,”** Seokmin interrupts me. **“What? You’re acting like this because of him?”**

**“Yeah because he’s the vertically challenged boy! The one who I’ve bumped into for three times streak! The one to whom I said he’s a knob!”** I whisper-yell, pointing at the door.

**“Are you for real?!”** Seokmin’s eyes widen after putting the pieces of info together.

**“I’m ruined.”** I groan again.

**“Don’t be dramatic. Maybe he doesn’t remember you and everything will go smoothly.”** Seokmin’s attempt to comfort me is weak but I want to believe him.  
He’s rarely wrong on this kind of things.

**“I really hope so.”**

Suddenly, someone knocks on the door.

**“Is everything okay in there?”** It’s Joshua. **“Are you two holding a meeting? Come out! Jihoon wants to greet you and dinner’s ready.”**

**“I’m really close to crying,”** I whisper to Seokmin before yelling to Joshua **“We’re coming!”**

_‘Come on, Soonyoung. You can do this. You’re a tiger, you’re strong. He won’t remember you! You last saw him three days ago and since then can you imagine how many people he as met? Plus, there’s a big difference in appearance between the weekdays and the weekend. The makeup, the dresses, the way you style your hair. And he could never have taken a good look at your face. Even though you can’t stand him, don’t let it show. Behave for tonight and starting from tomorrow, you can hate him again. You won’t be seeing him that often, right? Now, show your best smile and get out of here.’_

Seokmin gets out of the bathroom and covers me until we get to the couch we were sitting before. The place that was mine, was now occupied by him. Jihoon gets up and greets Seokmin with a smile on his face. He then turns towards me and his expression shifts.

**“You…”** Jihoon starts and squints his eyes. 

_‘Oh no. I knew it. He recognised me. My time has come. Because of him everyone will hate me and think that I am an asshole. I want to cry. I’m sweating. Have I already said that I want to cry?’_

**“You must be Soonyoung!”** He exclaims, flashing a wide smile. **“Nice to meet you! I’m Jihoon, the one you texted yesterday and said he’s _nice_.” **

When he says the word nice, he emphasises it. He may be alluding to something but I don’t pay too much attention to it as I’m too relieved by the fact that he hasn’t recognised me.

When I will get the chance, I will celebrate this moment with a little victory dance.

**“Yeah, I remember you and I’m glad that, the other day, you enjoyed the coffee and the snacks.”** I extend my hand for a handshake.

**“Oh, yes. Thank you very much.”** He grabs my hand and shakes it, his grip strong and firm.

**“About that. It’s time to talk about our surprise,”** Seungkwan chirps in.

**“Surprise?”** Seokmin voices.

**“As we wanted to thank you for the other day, we decided to prepare a surprise for you too,”** Seungcheol starts explaining.

**“And the surprise is that we cooked dinner!”** Mingyu squeals as he opens the kitchen door, revealing the table full of different kinds of food.

**“You didn’t have to!”** Seokmin and I say at the same moment.

**“We wanted to do that.”**

**“And we took advantage of this giant here who can cook really well,”** Joshua says as he pats Mingyu’s back.

**“That was really kind of you.”** Seokmin claps his hands, happy due to the surprise. 

**“Finally, I will be able to taste Mingyu hyung’s food! I bet it’s even more delicious that Joshua hyung says!”** I exclaim, already drooling at the sight of the food.

**“Stop it! I’m going to blush.”** Mingyu softly hits me on the arm.

**“Yeah, stop it or he will get too cocky about his skills,”** Seungkwan not so subtly says, letting Mingyu hear his words.

**“Hey!”** Mingyu pouts at Seungkwan’s words.

Everybody starts laughing while walking into the kitchen and taking their seats. At the head of the table, there’s Joshua and opposite to him, Seungcheol. Seokmin is sitting at Joshua’s left, Seungkwan is between Mingyu and me. On the other side of the table, there’s Jihoon sitting between Wonwoo, who’s at Joshua’s right, and Jeonghan, at Seungcheol’s left.

Jihoon is right in front of me and I can’t help but think _‘This is going to be an interesting night.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to split this chapter into two parts to give a little bit of suspense to this dinner but, hey, the guys have finally met! 
> 
> To make more clear how they're sitting at the table, here's a scheme: 
> 
> DK HS SK MG  
> \--------------  
> JS | | SC  
> \--------------  
> WW WZ JH


	10. Chapter 10

Between a mouthful and another, we chat about little things, laugh and joke around as if we’ve known each other for ages while, in fact, we’ve met not even an hour ago. The mood is crazy and the anxiety that had been haunting me for days is now gone. I wish we could spend more quality time gathered together as we did today.

_‘I need to tell Shua hyung that we should hang out like this more often.’_

However, what makes me really happy is that Jihoon doesn’t seem to remember me! Yes, he glared at me the entire night but, when we were grabbing more drinks from the fridge, Joshua whispered to me that it’s a habit of his, especially when he is around people who are too loud. Upon hearing that, I’m a bit relieved because, well, we were being so loud. Our duo, tonight, has become a trio. The legendary SeokSoon has found another member and we’re now the BooSeokSoon! We found out that Seungkwan is as loud and funny as us so the three of us naturally clicked. We kept cracking jokes and had everyone laugh at them.

Everyone but Jihoon.

**“Guys, you know, Seok and Soon are our fans,”** Joshua suddenly says, making everyone look at the two of us.

**“You can say that we’ve created your fan club,”** Seok adds.

**“True, I love all of your songs and I’m looking forward to when you will be a super band.”** I smile to all of them.

**“Do you think so?”** Mingyu asks, his imaginary puppy tail wagging.

**“We’re sure about it. You make really good music!”** Seokmin screams out, not controlling his volume.

**“And I’m sure you already have a pretty big fanbase. Your amazing looks helped with that,”** I mumble the last part, suddenly too shy to say it out loud.

**“I know that. One of my biggest qualities is to look great!”** Seungkwan flips his non-existent long hair.

**“Don’t mind his words. He tells himself that a lot and it got to his head.”** Mingyu rolls his eyes.

**“You cannot say it’s not true. He looks good,”** Seokmin says, missing the glare he got from Joshua.

**“See that? Unlike you, they can tell who is the real beauty here.”** Seungkwan crosses his arms, annoyed at Mingyu.

**“With all these compliments, you now have their hearts.”** Joshua giggles.

**“They had our hearts the moment they stepped in this house. They’re so funny!”** Seungcheol says, still wiping the tears he shed while laughing.

**“This means Soonyoung can relax now.”** Joshua stands up and walks to where I was sitting.

**“What do you mean?”** Seungcheol asks a little bit confused by Joshua’s statement.

**“He was afraid you wouldn’t like him.”** Joshua ruffles my hair while blush starts creeping on my cheeks.

**“Why do you have to expose me like this?”** I look up at him and whine.

Everyone laughs and I get even redder than I already am. I am as ripe as a tomato due to the fact that they’re almost cooing at me. Luckily, Wonwoo saves me by bringing the dessert.

**“Here we are. Different ice creams for you. Choose the one you like the most,”** He says and then winks at me.

**“I want the bigger one!”** Seungkwan screams.

**“No, it’s mine!”** Mingyu leans over the table to reach for the ice cream.

**“Hey, you know that I’m the eldest so the biggest one is mine!”** Seungcheol grabs it. He then turns to Jeonghan and, with the sweetest voice, he says, **“Hannie, for you.”**

Jeonghan gladly takes the ice cream but not before giving a quick peck to Seungcheol.

**“Why fighting over ice cream? Aren’t you full? You hate** a whole **cake before dinner!”** Here it his mom Joshua scolding the kids.

**“Hyung, you know that food is never enough!”** Seungkwan cries out before turning again towards Mingyu.

And with that said, they keep on bickering over the ice creams left until they decided to play rock-paper-scissors to make things quicker.

After having enjoyed the sweetest part of the dinner, literally, it’s time to clean up the table and start doing the wash-up.

**“Jeonghan and I are going to clean a bit and then join you in the living room,”** Joshua declares, grabbing Jeonghan by the wrist so he couldn’t escape.

**“No way. You have already done a lot. I will wash the dishes,”** I say to stop Shua hyung.

**“And I will mop the kitchen floor,”** Seokmin adds.

**“You’re the guests tonight. You can’t clean,”** Jeonghan says with a stern look.

**“Ah, hyung. There’s no written rule about that. C’mon! You deserve to rest. You guys have cooked a whole meal for us.”** I grab Jeonghan by his shoulders and lightly push him towards the living room. 

**“Is the least we can do to thank you.”** Seokmin does the same thing as I did but with Joshua.

Jeonghan looks at Joshua as if to urge him in standing up against this. However, the latter just sighs and says, **“It’s useless trying to fight against them. They’re too stubborn for that. Let’s go watching some tv.”** He pats Jeonghan on the shoulder and then turns towards us. **“If you need help, call us, okay?”**

**“Yup.”** Seokmin and I say in unison. 

As soon as the boys leave the kitchen, we get to work. Seokmin arms himself with a mop, a bucket full of water and a bottle of floor cleaner. He mops not only the kitchen but the hallway too.

In the meantime, I pour a ton of dish soap on the sponge and start washing the dishes. I don’t usually wear rubber gloves as I like doing keeping my hands submerged in the foamy water. It relaxes me a lot. Washing the dishes is something I enjoy doing because, later, I’m satisfied by watching the crockery shine...okay, maybe it’s weird.

I was scrubbing and humming a song when I suddenly hear footsteps getting louder as someone gets closer to me.

**“Seok, already done with mopping? Can you help me with this? I’ll do the washing and you’ll dry them,”** I say without even turning around.

**“I’m not Seokmin. I can still help with that, though.”**

Jihoon.

_‘Oh God, why is he here?_

**“Don’t worry. You have already cooked before.”** I give a quick glance at him. He’s standing next to the table with his arm crossed.

**“I haven’t done that much, plus, you said you need help.”**

Jihoon reaches the sink, grabs a towel and takes the plate away from my hand to dry it.

**“Okay. Suit yourself.”**

For a while, we clean in complete silence. The tension in the air was so thick and almost suffocating.  
It’s as if Jihoon wants to say something but keeps being quiet instead and it is somewhat frustrating.

I can’t stand the silence any longer so I decide to break it.

**“Do you have something to say?”**

**“What do you mean?”** Jihoon asks, eyes fixed on the plate he’s drying.

**“I sense that you want to say something.”**

**“I do but it’s better if I don’t do that. It could ruin the mood.”** He smirks but in a bitter way.

**“You won’t ruin the mood.”** I roll my eyes at him.

**“If you say so…”** He sighs and places the towel on the counter.

**“Bring it on.”**

**“For how much more do you plan to play pretend?”**

**“Uh?”** I look at him, confused.

_‘Oh, wait. Don’t tell me that he-’_

**“Don’t play dumb with me, Soonyoung. After bumping into me, maybe stalking me and calling me names, you pretend you haven’t recognised me?”**

_‘Shit. He does remember.’_

**“I thought you had forgotten and I would’ve never come to you to say _‘oh, do you remember me? I used to slam into you a couple of times this week when I was rushing to be somewhere.’_ Don’t you think I could do that?”** I say without taking a breath in between words.

**“I can’t forget a face as dumb as yours,”** He scoffs.

**“Here it is again, the knob you.”** I rub the sponge on the plate with more strength that it is needed.

**“Breathing and alive.”**

I throw the sponge into the sink. **“You know, you’re more bearable when you have your mouth shut.”**

**“That’s not what you said yesterday. You told me that I am nice.”**

I look at him and he has a smirk on his face, one eyebrow raised.

**“That’s because I didn’t know it was you. You’re rude and not funny at all.”**

**“Said the one who’s just like me.”**

**“I am not like you.”** I grab the sponge and resume cleaning the dishes.

**“Yeah, sure. Now, stop and wash those dishes.”**

**“Already doing that if you haven’t noticed. You keep drying them!”**

We fight non-stop and keep picking on what the other’s doing. 

**“Clean them better. You’re leaving residues of food on the rims,”** Jihoon complains.

**“That’s because someone’s voice irritates me.”**

**“If you’re irritated by your own voice, stop talking.”**

**“Your voice irritates me, not mine!”** I cry out in frustration.

**“Not only you cannot focus on walking, but you also cannot even focus on washing.”** He shakes his head.

**“And you’re not focused on drying. I can see from here that they’re still wet and I bet that even from Mars they can see that. Knob.”** I point at the dishes he put on the counter.

**“Idiot.”**

**“Don’t call me idiot.”**

**“But you are an idiot.”**

I put down the dish I had in my hands and turn towards Jihoon.   
Thankfully, my height makes me tower over him and I can look just a tiny bit more intimidating.

**“Stop it.”**

**“I stop when I want to.”** He takes a step towards me.

**“Blockhead.”**

**“Calling me names won’t stop me from calling you** idiot **.”** Another step.

**“I said stop it.”**

We’re awfully close and looking in each other’s eyes, short-breathed for the pent up frustration.   
He was about to get back at me when Joshua walks in the kitchen.   
Both Jihoon and I turn towards the sink again, resuming our tasks.

**“Everything okay in here?”** He asks, an intrigued look on his face. 

**“Everything is great,”** Jihoon answers a little bit too quickly.

**“Yeah, why?”** I ask him back.

**“I heard some noises coming from here and so I came to check.”** Joshua looks at Jihoon first and then at me.

**“It was due to the dishes clashing.”** I try to come up with an excuse.

**“Wait a moment, Soonyoung…”** Joshua takes a long pause as he comes closer to us. I start sweating as I think that he caught us fighting and he’s about to tell us how disappointed and sad he his. **“You banned us from the kitchen and now he’s here to help you.”** He points his index at Jihoon.

**“Well…”** I start but get cut off.

**“I insisted on helping him, hyung. You know that I can’t keep still,”** Jihoon says, trying to look convinced of what he was saying.

**“Do you?”** Joshua says doing the knowing look thing.

**“Yeah,”** Jihoon doesn’t waver under the elder’s gaze.

**“Okay, if you say so. However, I see that you’re a great team.”** Joshua pats us both on the shoulder.

**“What?”** I shriek.

**“It looks like you get along so well.”** Joshua smiles.

_‘If he only knew…’_

**“Very well,”** Jihoon says through gritted teeth while faking a smile.

**“Like best friends.”** Out of survival instinct, I throw my arm around Jihoon’s shoulder to prove my point. Jihoon stiffens at the sudden contact.

**“I’m so glad to hear that!”** Joshua claps his hands. **“From today on, we will spend a lot of time together!”**

**“Really? Why?”** Jihoon cries out, trying not to sound too whiny.

**“The guys said that Seokmin and Soonyoung should come to see us practising from time to time.”**

**“Oh.”** Jihoon’s mouth stays like that, in the shape of an O.

**“Well, I’m going back to the living room. We will be waiting for you.”**

Joshua leaves us and we both sigh in relief, not immediately realising that my arm is still on Jihoon. When we do realise that, Jihoon pushes me away and grabs the towel again.

We’ve survived from Joshua hyung’s questioning and this relieves me. Ruining his mood is the last thing that I want to do. He looks so happy that all of us are going along!

Well, almost all of us.

As soon as I finish washing the last dish, I bolt out of the kitchen, not even waiting for Jihoon to dry it.

When I come into the living room, I see that the two couches that were facing each other are now in an L shape around the tv and the two armchairs are at both ends of the couches.   
Seokmin is sitting between Joshua and Mingyu. You can clearly see how happy Seok is because he’s next to his Shua hyung. I mentally roll my eyes and go towards Wonwoo and Seungkwan, the latter tapping the space among them, suggesting that I could sit there.   
After a while, Jihoon walks in and goes straight for the armchair put next to where Mingyu is.

For the rest of the night, I try not looking at him because I know that, one way or another, he would get on my nerves and Joshua would end up noticing it.

Suddenly, Seokmin gets up from the couch and goes towards the entrance.

**“I almost forgot that Soonyoung and I brought little presents for you!”** He says, almost squealing.

**“Really? You didn’t have to!”** Seungcheol exclaims.

**“We felt like we wanted you to remember this night through this present.”** I stand up too to follow Seokmin.

**“How sweet of you,”** Jeonghan cooes. 

**“We would’ve remembered it anyway,”** Mingyu says.

**“It’s difficult to forget people like Seokmin and you,”** Seungkwan adds, checking Seokmin out.

**“Hey, Seungkwan, stop.”** Joshua looks a little bit annoyed.

**“What? You’re jealous?”** Seungkwan wiggles his brows.

**“I’m protective. They’re my little bros.”** The elder looks away from the blonde guy who was teasing him.

**“We wanted to get the same thing for everyone but, unfortunately, there were just six of them so one is going to be different,”** Seokmin tells as he grabs his bag from the floor.

He pulls the seven little bags out of his backpack. I randomly take four of them and check the names on them. I’ve got Seungcheol, Wonwoo, Seungkwan and Jihoon.

_'What a surprise! Life hates me, doesn’t it?'_

I walk to them and hand the bags with a smile. When it’s Jihoon’s turn, I make sure to step on his foot.

**“Ouch!”**

**“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to!”** I say, voice coated in sarcasm and smirking at him.

**“Don’t worry but next time try to pay more attention.”** Jihoon’s voice is calm but his eyes are those of someone ready to fight.

I laugh on the inside because he can do nothing but to be kind.

**“Now, open it!”** Seokmin says once everyone got his bag.

〜〜

When we bought the gifts, Seokmin and I tried to gather some information from Joshua, trying to get to know what the boys needed.   
We were careful with the questioning so that he couldn’t understand what we wanted to do.   
We thought of buying them earrings but not everyone has his ear pierced. Then we opted for ties but it would be too formal. Bracelets were next on the list. Not was of our or the boys’ taste, so the last thing was to find necklaces.

We were walking by this jewellery store when we saw it.

The necklace we were looking for.

It was made with two little silver flat hoops intertwined, one of the two hoops a shade lighter of the other, hanging from a leather string. It was simple but really pretty and could fit the boys’ style.

We walked in the shop and asked them about the necklace. They told us it was one of the hot pieces in the late fashion. It was even possible to carve names on the rim and it could be done on the spot. It was perfect! This way they would have the same item but, at the same time, it was personal.   
We asked for seven of them but, unfortunately, they had only six.   
After a brief meeting, Seokmin and I decided to take them anyway and maybe give Joshua a different one.

While they were engraving the names, I take a look around the shop, trying to find something for Shua.   
Nothing could really catch me. That was until I found it.   
It was really beautiful and I don’t know why but a name flashes in my mind right at the moment I ask the shop assistant if one could carve a name on that necklace too.

Seokmin had looked at me with a confused look but eventually trusted me.

〜〜

**“This is beautiful!”** Seungcheol exclaims as he turns the necklace into his fingers.

**“I love it!”** Seungkwan is jumping around.

**“How did you know that we needed more accessories?”** Wonwoo asks, examining the item.

**“We had a hunch,”** Seokmin says.

**“A hunch called Hong Joshua. Was it because of this that you asked me if we needed something for the next show?”** Hyung asks still not believing that he was being used by us.

**“Kind of…”** I trail off as Mingyu tries to draw the attention.

**“Look! Jihoon’s one is different!”**

**“What is it?”** Joshua asks.

**“It’s a gold crescent moon with little diamonds and a star hanging from the upper end of the moon. His name is carved on the back side of it,”** Mingyu answers for the shorter who was still looking at the necklace.

**“Soonyoung chose that one for Jihoon. He was so confident when he took that, saying that he knew it was the right one for him.”** Seokmin exposes me. 

I’m sitting far away from him so I cannot pinch his arm but I still glare at him.

Jihoon doesn’t need to know all the details.

**“Hoon, that moon looks like the shape of your eyes when you smile.”** Seungkwan points out.

**“That’s true! Plus, he loves the moon and the stars.”** Mingyu agrees.

**“Now that I think about it, it somewhat matches the necklace that you have,”** Seokmin says, pointing at the necklace I wear every day.

**“What necklace?”** Seungkwan asks, curious about what we’re talking about.

**“He always has this necklace with a golden star, just like the little one in Jihoon’s,”** Seokmin explains.

**“Moon and stars, what a match!”** Joshua claps his hands and smiles at us.

**“You know I have that because of the nickname my friend gave me when I lived in Japan.”** I try to defend myself.

**“Hoshi, the star,”** Seokmin says, almost as if to mock me.

**“It makes me cringe a bit but it's cute. It matches you and your personality,”** Wonwoo says, smiling at me.

**“Thank you, hyung.”** I blush a bit at the unexpected compliment. 

At that moment, Seokmin phone rings, snapping even Jihoon out of his trance.

Seokmin takes his phone out and goes into the kitchen to answer it.

**“My parents. They said they’re coming to pick me up.”** He says, coming back after a while.

**“Why? What time is it?”** I ask him.

**“Almost one in the morning.”**

**“Already?!”**

**“Guess that it’s late for every one of us,”** Seungcheol says, rubbing his hands on his thighs.

**“We need to go home and get some sleep.”** Wonwoo stretches his arms and legs.

**“Tomorrow’s Sunday and we need to make use of this free time to rest. We need to charge our batteries,”** Mingyu says, getting up from the couch and grabbing Seungkwan to make him stand up too. 

The guys pack their things and, one by one, they leave the house after exchanging numbers and goodbyes.

There’s only Jihoon left. He is going to crash at Joshua’s because his house is far away and he’s just too lazy to walk.

**“Weird that your parents haven’t called you yet,”** Joshua says to me while we’re moving the couches back to their place.

**“Maybe they saw the time and just assumed that I would be sleeping here.”**

**“He sleeps here?”** Jihoon asks, almost freaked out at the idea.

**“Not today, but he usually does. Well, we sleep either at my house or at his house.”** Joshua and I high five as we finish tidying up the room.

**“Oh, I see,”** Jihoon says.

After that, Seokmin and I grab our things and get out of the house, Joshua and Jihoon coming with us until the end of the driveway.

**“My parents keep sending me texts telling me to come to the main road as they will pick me up there,”** Seokmin says while scrolling the texts on his phone.

**“I’ll come with you and then get back home,”** I say as I turn around to say goodbye to Joshua.

**“You alone? No way. I will go with Seokmin and Jihoon is coming with you,”** The elder states with a super serious tone.

**“What?!”** Jihoon and I shriek at the same time.

**“I can go home alone! My house is super near and you know that!”** I keep fighting as I don’t want to go home with that knob.

**“But it’s late and there could be danger everywhere.”**

**“Oh,** **c’mon! This is one of the most peaceful areas. Tell him that, Seok!”** I look at my friend, seeking his support.

**“You never know what could happen.”** He shrugs his shoulders.

I glare at Seokmin.

If looks could kill, Seokmin would be dead by now.

Did he forget that Jihoon is the last person with whom I want to walk home?   
I would rather never move from here than to walk with him.

**“That’s it, I have already decided it,”** Joshua says with a tone that leaves no space for fighting back. **“Ji, do you have any problem with that?”**

**“No, hyung.”** Jihoon has no choice but to agree.

**“Good, so now we will get going. Ji, you take the house keys. I’m sure you will return here before I do.”** Joshua then turns towards me and ruffles my hair. **“Good night, Soons.”**

With that said, Joshua and Seokmin go the opposite way and I’m left alone with Jihoon.

Great.

  
Seokmin gets to walk with his crush and I got stuck with the one person I can’t stand at all.   
Why couldn’t it be Wonwoo the one to stay over at Shua’s? He looks really good and seemed an interesting guy.

**“You’re so childish,”** Jihoon says, interrupting the flow of my thoughts on Wonwoo.

**“Excuse me?”**

**“I mean, stepping on my foot on purpose.”**

**“I didn’t do it on purpose.”** I walk in the direction of my house, not checking if Jihoon is following me or not.

**“Yeah, sure. And I’m a genie.”** He catches up just to be this sarcastic.

**“If you really are one, can you grant one of my wishes?”** I took a quick glance at him before saying, **“I wish you could disappear.”**

**“You’re not funny.”**

**“Not trying to be funny.”** I close my eyes and sigh. **“What’s your problem anyway?”**

**“The problem is that you stepped on my foot and it hurt.”**

**“Not my fault you can’t stand a little bit of pain.”**

**“What?”**

**“Look, I took a little revenge because you wouldn’t stop calling me idiot.”**

**“But you are an idiot.”**

**“If you call me again like that, I swear I’m going to hit you,”** I warn him as I stop in my tracks right in front of my driveway.

**“Idiot.”**

I was about to really hit him with my fist when I feel something blocking me.

Jihoon had grabbed my wrists, the fist that was hovering just inches away from his left cheek.

He doesn’t move from that position and neither do I.

Jihoon’s there, looking at me and I feel like frozen on the spot.

The moon was shining bright and it illuminated just a half of his face.

Under that light, his sharp features softened, his skin is the same colour as the moon.   
He almost looked like a porcelain doll that needs to be handled with extreme care because of how fragile it is.

However, this image of him breaks the very moment he opens his mouth to speak.

**“See? You’re an idiot because you said you were about to hit me. That’s why I could block it.”** His knowing-it-all tone is back.

**“My hand moved on its own.”**

**“Control your body, then.”**

**“I always do that.”**

While we’re arguing, his hand is still wrapped around my wrist.

Upon realising that, I snap my wrist out of his hold and turn towards my house.

**“My house is here. You can go now.”** I shoo him away with my hand.

**“Go in. The children shouldn’t be walking around this late at night.”**

**“The same goes for you as you really look like a child.”**

**“Talking about my height?”**

**“Yes, there’s a problem with that?”** I ask him, crossing my arms.

**“You know, you should improve with your insults. You shouldn’t go and pick on people for things that are too obvious.”** He scoffs.

**“That’s because I usually don’t need to insult people. I get on with everyone. If I were you, I would ask myself why I can’t stand you.”**

**“Nope. Don’t have time to waste on such useless questions.”**

**“Useless just like you.”**

I turn on my heels and walk down the driveway without even greeting him.   
Why should I when he’s being nothing but an ass to me?

**“Where are your manners? Won’t you say goodbye to me?”** He yells after me, making me stop halfway.

**“I do that only with people that I like.”**

**“How low of you.”**

**“I want to be like that, so I can match you.”** I keep walking after having talked back at him for the nth time tonight.

**“Good.”**

**“Good.”**

**“Great.”**

**“Perfect!”**

And like that, I walk into my house. I close the door behind me and lean on it as I sigh.   
He will make me have a stroke if he keeps being like that.

  


The lights in my house are all off, meaning that my parents are already fast asleep.

I step in the kitchen to drink a glass of water and I find a post-it written by my mom.

_“I don’t know if you will be coming here to sleep but I’ll leave this here anyway._   
_Tomorrow, your father and I are going to pay a visit to some friends of ours and we’ll have lunch there._   
_Do you want to join us?_   
_Let me know if I need to wake you up or not._   
_Love you, mom”_

I grab the pen that she left next to the post-it and I write that they can go without me as I promised Seokmin to hang out with him in the morning.  
I added that she shouldn’t worry about my lunch as I will cook it by myself.

I go upstairs, trying to be as quiet as possible while washing up and change into my pyjamas.

The moment I tuck myself under the blankets, I feel all the tiredness of the day weighing on me.

I throw my right hand over my eyes and I suddenly smell a weird scent.

It’s not the perfume I usually use, plus I didn’t wear any tonight because I forgot to.

I was trying to figure out where this scent comes from when I realise that it comes from my wrist, the one Jihoon had grabbed a while ago.

I have to admit that he uses good perfume with a strong but somewhat sweet scent.

What a night, really.

Time flew by really fast as we were in a great mood but what warms my heart the most is that Joshua was so happy he had gathered the people he liked the most in his house.

  


While my mind was replaying the highlights of the night, I slowly fall asleep with a smile on my face, lulled by this new found scent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took quite a while because of the amount of dialogue and of the sudden inspiration that made me write a 3k-words angst ([ **Hug (포옹)**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17511749) if you want to check it out). 
> 
> A special thanks to the vobo, rabo, pabo group chat for helping me with a part of this chapter! 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it!


	11. Chapter 11

At 9.30 in the morning, the alarm goes off with the loudest ringtone I had on my phone. You know, the one that makes you sure you wake up.

Sunday mornings are usually made to sleep in but not today as I have to hang out with Seokmin. We promised to meet at 10.30 at _“Coffee & Goodpie”_ so that we can grab our coffee and then walk around a bit.

I get up and stretch my stiff limbs before going downstairs to have a quick breakfast.  
My parents have already left and this means only one thing: this house is soon going to become a disco.  
I turn on my stereo system, connect my mp3 to it and blast music to a very high volume. My playlist has different songs of different genres, plus a lot of _‘Jeonghan’s bitches’_ songs, you can say that I have all the songs they had sung from their debut up to today.  
Suddenly, one of my favourites starts playing, _‘Don’t Threaten Me With a Good Time’_ by _Panic! at the disco_. I turn the volume up even more and start singing along with Brendon while dancing with the pan in one hand, trying to make breakfast.

While I’m about to sit at the table to eat, listening to a more soft song, I check my phone to see if there’s any message. There’s two, indeed: one’s from Seokmin and the other one from Joshua hyung. I give the priority to Seokmin and so I open his text.

**DonkeyKong:**  
_Morning!_  
_I’m almost ready and I hope you woke up._  
_See you Soon!_

**Hoshiya:**  
_Morniiiiiiing!_  
_I’m super awake!_  
_I just need to wear something more decent than my starry pyjamas and I’ll get going!_

Now, it’s time to quickly see what Joshua wants. He is still online so the answer won't take too long to arrive.

**Joshuji:**  
_What you’re up to?_

**Hoshiya:**  
_I’m getting ready to hang out with Seok, why?_

**Joshuji:**  
_Do you want to turn off that damned stereo?_

**Hoshiya:  
** _How do you know?_

**Joshuji:**  
_I can basically hear the music from my room._

**Hoshiya:**  
_Really?  
__My stereo is that powerful?_

**Joshuji:**  
_No, you hamster.  
It was a figure of speech. _

**Hoshiya:**  
_Then how do you know that I’m blasting music?_

**Joshuji:**  
_Seventh sense._

**Hoshiya:**  
_Are you trying to be funny now?_  
 _It’s sixth sense, though._  
 _For real, how do you know?_

**Joshuji:**  
_Jihoon was out for a walk.  
He walked by your house and when he came back he told me that. _

**Hoshiya:**  
_Jihoon?_

**Joshuji:**  
_Yup.  
__He said you were listening to P!_ atd _._

**Hoshiya:**  
_God, he really heard.  
__I got busted._

**Joshuji:**  
_He’s laughing now._

**Hoshiya:**  
_Tell him to stop.  
There’s nothing to laugh about. _

**Joshuji:**  
_He said he won’t stop._

**Hoshiya:**  
_That shortie.  
I will teach him a lesson someday. _

**Joshuji:**  
_Calm down, tiger!_

**Hoshiya:**  
_Never been calmer than this.  
I got to go or I’ll be late. _

**Joshuji:**  
_Okay, bro.  
Talk to you later. _

**Hoshiya:**  
_Bye, hyung._

I change clothes as quickly as possible and get out of the house, locking the door behind me. I start walking towards “Coffee & Goodpie” and, as today I’m not rushing, I put my headphones to listen to some music and enjoy my surroundings.  
The song is slow and matches the atmosphere of this early autumn days. It’s a bit cloudy but it’s not cold so there’s a lot of people roaming around the city, even a lot of tourists.

Seeing the streets like this makes me feel good. If you live in a metropolis you may feel a bit lonely because, no matter how many people are surrounding you, they can give you the cold shoulder.  
Though, there are some pros too.  
You can see different ethnicities and cultures mixing; you see people walking around and not giving any particular attention to you who are passing by them and this makes you feel less as if you’re not standing out too much. You are less judged by others.

However, what I like the most is thinking where these people are going: are they going to meet their friends? Do they have a date with their lover?  
One can’t get a proper answer but I often find myself hoping that no matter who they’re meeting or where they’re going, they can have a good time.

As the third songs I’m listening to fades away, I realise that I’m already near my destination.  
Seokmin is already outside the café, our drinks in hands.

**“Good morning!”** I greet Seokmin waving my hand.

**“Morning, Soon.”** He smiles at me and hands one of the cups. **“Here.”**

**“Thank you.”** I take a couple of sips, relishing in the warmth of the drink. **“Shall we go?”**

We start down the road for our usual Sunday route, talking about the night before.

**“I see that you’re particularly happy today, did something happen?”** Seokmin suddenly asks when he sees me smiling without a particular reason.

**“No, why?”**

**“Nothing,”** he says as he averts my eyes.

I contently sigh. **“I’m happy as any Sunday because I’m with my best friend.”** I sling my arm around his neck. **“Aren’t you happy?”**

**“Of course, I am!”**

**“I know why you’re happy and it’s not because of me.”** I evilly laugh and tighten my hold on him.

**“I don’t know what you’re talking about?”** Seokmin asks, confused.

**“I won’t fall for that. Now, tell me.”** I wiggle my eyebrows.

**“What?”**

**“C’mon. Yesterday, Shua hyung walked you to your parents’ car.”**

**“Oh, you were talking about that?”** Seokmin’s brain cells finally connect.

**“Of course! So? Don’t leave me hanging!”** I whine as I sit down on the bench in the park we’re at now.

**“I have nothing to tell.”** Seokmin sits beside me, putting his cup of coffee between us. **“We talked as per usual.”**

**“About what?”** I take a sip from my cup before putting that too in between us.

**“Nothing.”**

**“If you’ve talked to each other, it’s impossible for you to have said nothing.”** I turn towards him to look in his eyes.

**“I cannot tell you the topic of our conversation.”** Seokmin is looking everywhere but at me.

**“Why? You never keep it a secret.”**

**“Because I know you’ll get mad,”** he says and then sighs.

**“I won’t get mad! I’m in control of my anger.”** I hit my chest with my hand as if that could prove my point.

**“Yeah, sure.”** Seokmin’s tone a mocking one.

**“Tell me and I’ll show you how I can keep cool about it.”**

**“Remember your words.”** Seokmin takes a deep breath and picks the cup in his hands to fidget with the plastic cap. **“Shua said that you and Jihoon would look good together.”**

**“WHAT?”** I shriek as I jolt up from the bench, making some passers-by flinch.

**“You promised you wouldn’t get mad.”** Seokmin bows to the strangers, feeling sorry to them because of my reaction.

**“First, I never promised that. Second, why in the hell he would’ve said that nonsense?”**

**“He said that when he walked into the kitchen and saw you two next to each other, you looked good,”** Seokmin admits.

**“Crazy. One of my best friends has gone insane.”**

**“You know he said that because he doesn’t know the truth. Plus, Jihoon was behaving because he hasn’t recognised you.”**

I sigh, defeated, as I sit back on the bench. **“He did.”** I rub one hand on my eyes. **“He did recognise me.”**

**“WHAT?”** Now, it’s Seokmin’s turn to scream and make some pigeons fly away.

**“Yeah. He pretended not to so that we couldn’t start fighting and wouldn’t ruin the night.”**

**“I can’t believe it. When did he tell you? When he walked you home?”**

**“While we were washing the dishes. We were fighting until Joshua hyung walked in and we pretended everything was fine.”**

**“I’m speechless.”** Seokmin takes a pause, thinking about something, then adds, **“That’s why you were behaving like that about the gifts.”**

**“And when Joshua suggested that the shortie should’ve walked me home. We’ve fought even then, by the way.”**

**“Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve helped you.”**

**“We hadn’t a spare moment, so I couldn’t tell you. Plus, you looked happy and I didn’t want to ruin your mood.”**

**“You wouldn’t have done that!”** Seokmin sighs before looking at me. **“What now? What will you do?”**

**“I need to find a way to tell Joshua what happened with shortie and, at the same time. try to avoid the latter.”**

**“It will be hard, but you can do it.”** Seokmin put his hand on my shoulder, squeezing it a bit, as he tries to encourage me.

**“Thank you.”** I put my hand on his and smile at him. 

At that moment, Seokmin’s phone rings. He looks at the caller’s ID and his eyes go wide. He walks away to answer but not before mouthing the words _“It will take a minute”_.

It’s weird. Seokmin never did this when he got a call. He was never anxious about talking on the phone in front of me, not even when he was making a cringe-worthy conversation with his ex-girlfriend.

While I wait for him, still sitting on the bench, I take out my phone to check the notifications.

I have a text from Joshua.

**Joshuji:**  
_Soons!  
Are you busy this afternoon? _

**Hoshiya:**  
_Since I’m home alone, no.  
I’m not busy. _

The moment I press the send button, Seokmin comes back, his expression the one of someone who’s scheming something behind his best friend’s back.

**“It was...uhm...my mom. I have to go home!”** Seokmin says, him too not so sure of his words as if he’s hiding something.

**“What time is it?”**

**  
“It’s past midday.”**

**“Already?”** I check my watch and he’s right. **“Time really flies.”**

**“I know, right?”** His laugh, a nervous one.

I get up from the bench so we can return to the cafè, our walk full of bantering and improvised scenes as we usually do, deciding to do some of them again in front of our classmates the day after.

**“I really need to run home,”** Seokmin says as soon as we get in front of the shop.

**“Okay, bye Seok.”**

I lift my hand for a high five but Seokmin doesn’t even greet back and sprints off the direction of his house.

_‘What the hell is wrong with him today?’_

I shake my head as I take my phone again to see if Joshua answered.

He did.

  


**_Jihoon’s point of view._ **

**“Soonyoung will be home alone today,”** Joshua suddenly announces from the couch in front of the one I’m laying on. He has been focused on the screen for quite a while, even getting up to make a call. Seemed like he was busy and I think it’s because of one of the upcoming gigs with the band.

**“And?”**

**“Is it a problem for you if he comes here for lunch?”** He looks at me with an expectant expression.

**“Ehm...no?”** My answer sounding more like a question than a statement but I can’t manage otherwise. **“It’s your house, not mine, so you can invite whoever you want.”**

I smile at Joshua but I’m mad at him on the inside. Why does he have to be kind and concerned about other people? Okay, it’s a good trait but why does it have to be like that with everyone? I don’t want to see that idiot again. I tried my best yesterday thinking that the moment he’d walk out of the door would’ve been the last time I’d see him. I did that for Joshua hyung. I’ve known him for so long that I know how happy he truly is that he got all of his friends together. He hadn’t shut up about that for hours.

**“Okay, I will tell him to come.”**

Joshua quickly types his message and sends it before throwing his phone at me, managing to hit me in the stomach, and getting up from his seat on the couch.

**“I will start cooking something. If he replies, tell me and I’ll tell you what to write.”** He starts walking towards the kitchen.

**“What am I? Your slave?”**

Joshua stops in his track and turns towards me, a hint of evilness in his eyes. **“You either do that or you cook.”**

**“I will be glad to be your slave.”**

**“That’s the answer I like.”**

He pats my stomach and goes in the kitchen to start his magic. I throw my head back and close my eyes, hoping that the idiot won’t come here.

The phone buzzes on my tummy and I open one eye to look at the bright screen. I pick it up and see that it’s him.

I open the app and read the previous messages.

**Joshuji:**  
_Have you already cooked something?_

**Hoshiya:**  
_Nope.  
I’m still on my way home. _

**Joshuji:**  
_Why don’t you come over?  
__Jihoon’s still here._

_‘Why Joshua had to mention me? Oh, maybe knowing that I’m here, he won’t come!’_

**Hoshiya:**  
_Don’t worry, hyung.  
I will make something by myself. _

I smile to myself, happy because I won’t see his face again today. I get up from the couch and join Joshua hyung to tell him about the message.

**“Hyung, he said no,”** I say, leaning on the kitchen counter with my arms.

**“Put pressure on him,”** Joshua commands without even turning around and keeping on cutting the vegetables.

**“Why? Maybe he wants to stay alone.”**

**“I told you to insist.”** Joshua has now stopped and he’s holding the knife in a threatening way.

Scared, I type right away on the keyboard. As soon as hyung hears the sound of the keys coming from his phone, he resumes his cutting.

**Joshuji:**  
_C’mon!  
Eat lunch with us. _

**Hoshiya:**  
_Really, hyung.  
I’ve been there yesterday too. _

**“He said he doesn’t want to come because he already did yesterday,”** I read out loud.

**“Weird,”** Joshua mumbles as he moves the vegetables in a pan. **“Tell him that he had never problems with that before and if he keeps acting like that, we will be the ones going to him.”**

**“What?”** I shriek.

**“You heard me.”**

_‘Great, so I will see him anyway. Why didn’t I get back to my house?’_

**Joshuji:**  
_Since when you were worried about coming here for two days straight?_

**Hoshiya:**  
_I’ve been always worried about that._

**Joshuji:**  
_If you don’t come here, we will come there._

**Hoshiya:**  
_No, hyung.  
I want to be alone today. _

**Joshuji:**  
_Why?  
Did something happen? _

It’s time for me to take a little revenge for how he stepped on my foot. As I will try to make him say why he doesn’t want to see us, I will reveal my identity. It’s Joshua’s phone so he won’t fight me as hyung could read the texts when he opens the chat again.

**Hoshiya:**  
_Nothing happened._

**Joshuji:**  
_Then why don’t you want to see us?_

**Hoshiya:  
** _I don’t want to bother Jihoon and you._

**Joshuji:**  
_You won’t.  
By the way, I’m Jihoon. _

**Hoshiya:**  
_I will be a bother for you._  
_I know you want to be alone too._  
_Don’t insist._

**Joshuji:**  
_I insist because I know that hyung will be happy about eating lunch with his two little bros._

**Hoshiya:**  
_I’m sure of that but we can raincheck today._

**“He wants to raincheck,”** I say to Joshua who’s busy cooking the stew.

**“Tell him not to cook, we’ll bring the food.”** Hyung is not even listening anymore to what that idiot says.

**Joshuji:**  
_That is not possible.  
Joshua just said you don’t have to cook because we will bring the food. _

**Hoshiya:**  
_Tell him he doesn’t have to worry that much._

**“He said again not to worry.”**

**“We will be at this house in 5. Tell him to set up the table.”** Joshua tastes a bit of his stew and nods before turning off the stove.

**Joshuji:**  
_He said we will be there in 5 minutes._

**Hoshiya:**  
_I give up._  
_Come in 10 minutes._  
_I’m not home, yet._

**“He said to go there in 10 as he’s not home yet,”** I tell Joshua who just hums.

I think of some clever answer to get at him but in a subtle way.

**Joshuji:**  
_Don’t run or you can bump into someone.  
Yeah, Joshua hyung told me that. _

I giggle, waiting for his reply. Joshua really told me about the accident but he knew only about the first one. Apparently, that idiot hasn’t told him about the other two.

**Hoshiya:**  
_If that happens, I hope it will be a tall, handsome man and not a short knob.  
;)_

As I see the winky face, my right eye starts twitching. I put the phone on the kitchen counter and, without saying a word to Joshua, I go back on the couch.

_‘Why, of all the people in Seoul, he had to be Joshua’s best friend?’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a short filler chapter but this was the only thing I could do for now...let me know what you think about it!!


	12. Chapter 12

_** Soonyoung’s point of view  ** _

_ ‘That fucker!’ _

That vertically challenged guy had the audacity of texting me from Joshua hyung’s phone knowing that I cannot fight him. Joshua could read our messages because hell if he would delete the insults texts from the chat. He even tried to make me slip up using the bumping accident from the beginning of the week. To my defence, I have to say that it’s been days since I’ve bumped into someone and it’s all because I haven’t met him. In conclusion, it’s obvious that the one causing all of the trouble was him and not me. 

When I get home, I open the front door and walk in, going straight for the couch to throw my things there and set the table in that room. That way we can watch the tv too and stay warm as more sun comes in here thanks to the big windows. As soon as I’m done with the table, I put aside the blankets that my mother left around the room and turn on the stereo so that we can have background music and the house is less quiet. I put the playlist on shuffle and a song by Yiruma starts playing, _‘River Flows In You’_. I love his music and especially this song. His melodies make me feel somewhat comfortable and they are able to carry you in a different world and make you live an almost fairytale-like story. I’m not the type who’s into classical music but his compositions never fail to give me the chills, in a good way of course. 

_River Flows In You_ slowly fades and it’s replaced by another song I love: _Moonlight Angel_ ’s OST. That anime is my favourite one as it was my companion in the years spent far away from my motherland. I treasure it a lot and that mostly the reason I have the ost in my playlist. 

However, as the song starts, the doorbell rings signalling that the boys got here.    
I run to open the door and they’re standing there, plastic bags in hands with the packed lunch in them. 

**“Hey, Soons!”** Joshua greets me waving his hand. 

**“Hi.”** Jihoon simply greets, not even smiling to try fooling Joshua hyung. 

**“Hi, guys! Come on in!”** I grab Joshua’s arm and pull him inside the house **“I’m starving!”**

**“What’s new about that?”** Joshua giggles and takes his shoes off. 

**“I have been walking around since this morning and I had to sprint to come here because of you,” I whine as I hit his arm.**

**“Is this Moonlight Angel’s ost?” Jihoon suddenly asks as he walks in, making me turn towards him with wide eyes.**

**“Uh, yes. Do you know it?” I ask him back, still shook that he knew of this anime.**

**“Yes. It was my favourite anime. I watched it a lot while growing up.”** He takes his shoes off and puts them next to Joshua’s. 

**“You know, it’s also Soonyoung’s favourite. He does a re-run of it at least twice a year,”** Joshua reveals as he walks towards the kitchen to put the bags down the counter. 

**“It’s a great one.”** Jihoon follows Joshua and answers without even looking at me. 

**“Yeah…”** I whisper my answer so that he cannot hear it. I can’t help but agree with him as this anime is really amazing. 

I sigh and go to the kitchen where I find Joshua looking at the table and then at me. **“Why haven’t you set the table?”**

**“Already did. In the living room,”** I say as I point to the said room. 

**“Have you cooked something?”** He asks me. 

**“No. Jihoon said you would’ve brought lunch. Plus, I just got here so I didn’t have the time to make something.”**

Jihoon snaps his head towards us at the mention of his name and when he realises he hadn’t been asked something, he quietly returns to play with his sweater paws. Not that I have been watching him, I just noticed it with the corner of my eyes. 

**“Good. The only thing you need to cook is rice.”** Joshua is now taking the food out of the bags and putting it next to the stove. **“Make a lot as Jihoon loves it.”**

**“Okay,”** I say as I grab the tupperware from Joshua’s hands. **“Go to the living room, I’ll make rice and put the food in the dishes.”**

They walk towards the living room and I put the food in the microwave to heat it even though it’s still lukewarm. Then I put the rice and water in the rice cooker and press the start button. The only thing I have to do now is playing the waiting game as the food heats and cooks. 

As I stand there, back leaning on the fridge, I notice that not even a sound comes from the living room. That is too weird considering how loud Joshua is when he has company.

_ ‘What are they doing?’  _

I go in stealth mode through the hallway and then peek from the living room’s door, trying my best to don’t get noticed. I see that Joshua is not in the room and I assume he’s probably using the restroom. However, Jihoon is sitting on the couch, back facing the door, head moving as he’s studying the room until something catches his attention.    
He stands up and walks towards that thing and... _oh no_. It’s the corner with my childhood photos! 

_ ‘If he sees them, I’m done! If he notices me standing here like a creep, I’m done! I have to do something before it’s…’ _

Too late. He has seen them and I’m mentally preparing for the mocking part to come when we will be eating. He takes one in his hands. It’s the one where a chubby younger me is doing a V sign with thumb and forefinger around his chin, wearing a Taekwondo uniform. Jihoon examines it, his face blank while doing so. He doesn’t show any emotion or reaction at all. 

At that exact moment, the microwave’s timer goes off, making Jihoon jump and immediately put down the photo. As quickly as I can, I hide behind the door thinking he could turn around at any moment and I hope with all of myself that he hasn’t noticed my presence. 

_ ‘If he saw me, he would’ve already come here and mocked me about the photo, right?’  _

I quietly return to the kitchen, glaring at the microwave that had almost got me caught. I lost ten years of my life because of it!  
I sigh and get the tupperwares from the infernal device as well as the cooked rice from the not-so-infernal device. 

**“It’s ready!”** I yell as I bring the food over in the living room. 

When I walk in the room, I see Jihoon sitting at the head of the table and Joshua at his left side. I want to be as far away as possible from that knob and that’s why I go sitting right at the opposite of him. We exchange the _‘enjoy your meals’_ and munch the food while listening to the song currently playing. The atmosphere is a little bit awkward as no one dares to speak. After a while of putting up with this, the silence has become unbearable and that’s why I decide to be the one to break it. 

**“So, what have you done this morning?”** I ask using the chopsticks to point both Joshua and Jihoon. 

**“Not much. I finished cleaning the house and Jihoon helped me with that.”** Joshua just shrugs as to show that they hadn’t done much. 

**“I had to help you because I’m the maknae and you hyungs order me around all the time,”** Jihoon complains. 

**“That’s because you don’t even move a finger until we use our hyung power on you,”** Joshua rebuts, voice calm. 

**“That’s not true!”** Jihoon widens his eyes in surprise. **“ _I_ am the most active one among us.”**

**“Only when it comes to making music.”** Joshua lifts his hand, palm facing Jihoon as the latter was about to talk back, again. **“Oh right. Soons, why don’t you come to the practice this afternoon?”**

**“What? Today is Sunday!”**

**“Don’t you usually rest on Sundays?”**

Jihoon and I answer almost at the same time and this makes Joshua smile. 

**“Special rehearsals. In a few days, we have a gig in a club outside the city and we need to practice every day,”** Joshua says as he takes his phone to check the info about the club. 

**“Why I didn’t know anything about this?”** Jihoon asks. 

**“Mingyu told me this morning.”** Joshua’s simple reply makes Jihoon more suspicious about this. 

**“When?”**

**“When you went out for a walk. He called me and told about it. I just forgot to tell you.”** Joshua hesitates a bit with his answer and, now, I’m starting to be suspicious too. 

**“You don’t sound too sure,”** Jihoon says. 

**“Yeah. Something smells fishy,”** I add, agreeing with the knob. 

**“What are you talking about?”** Joshua scoffs. **“There’s nothing smelling fishy here.”** His eyes looking frantic between me and Jihoon. **“Soons, call Seok too and make him come over.”**

I glare at him in silence, waiting for Joshua to break under my gaze but his smile never falters. I sigh and give in. **“Okay..at what time should he come?”**

**“Four thirty outside your house. Then we have to go to Mingyu’s.”** Joshua looks proud of his doing. I hate him.

**“We’ll go there on foot?”** Jihoon asks. He sighs too, as a sign of giving up.

**“No, we will take my car and Wonwoo is coming with us. I told him to come here,”** Joshua states as he turns towards me. **“Is it okay for you?”**

_ ‘Oh my God. Wonwoo is coming here. The handsome Jeon Wonwoo is coming here!’  _

_**“IT’S TOTALLY FINE!”**_ I squeal a bit too loud. Upon realising how I answered, I cough and try to pull myself together as Jihoon rolls his eyes at me. **“I mean, whatever. I’m going to text Seok and tell him to come here.”**

I grab my phone and type a quick message to Seokmin and even squealing a bit about the fact that Wonwoo is going to come over. That boy is so handsome and I can’t wait to get to know him more. 

  
  


As we finish our lunch, I relax on the chair and pat my stomach. **“Hyung, it was delicious!”**

**“Thank you, Soons.”** Joshua smiles and then snaps his fingers as if he just had an idea. **“Do you know what this lunch is missing?”**

Joshua and I look into each other eyes. He’s trying to telepathically send me his idea which successfully arrives at my brain. **“Ice cream.”** We say in unison, Jihoon looking at us as if he’s scared by our actions. 

**“I think there’s some left in the freezer.”**

I stand up, chair screeching on the floor, and run to the kitchen.    
I open the freezer, looking for the ice cream that, luckily for us, is still there. 

_ ‘There should be some hazelnuts and whipped cream somewhere.’  _

I look into the fridge and a couple of cupboards. After rummaging a bit, I finally have all the things I need to make the dessert, my special dish. I grab three tall fountain glasses and put a bit of chocolate and pistachio ice cream, chopped hazelnuts, whipped cream on the side with a piece of chocolate in it et voilà! The dessert is ready! 

I put the glasses on a tray and bring them to the guys. 

**“Here I am!”** I announce as I put the tray on the table.

**“Your special dessert!”** Joshua claps his hands like a seal and has heart eyes for the sweet standing in front of him. 

**“Special?!”** Jihoon asks confused, looking at the ordinary-looking glass of ice cream. 

**“Yup! It’s special because it has a special ingredient…”** Joshua makes a dramatic pause and inches closer to Jihoon as if he’s about to reveal the biggest secret of this world. **“The special ingredient is love. He put a lot of love in this simple glass.”** He points at the said glass, a serious look on his face. 

**“What love!”** I hit him on the arm to make him shut up. **“I only put hazelnuts, chocolate and whipped cream.”**

**“Okay, okay. There’s no need to be rude to your hyung.”** Joshua rubs his arm. **“Now, let’s eat it before it melts!”** He takes the spoon and immediately digs in his glass of ice cream while Jihoon looks at his as if it could be poisoned. 

**“You got whipped cream moustaches!”** I laugh as soon as Joshua lifts his head from the glass, showing these candid moustaches adorning his mouth. 

**“Uh? Really?”**

**“As always. Come here, let me wipe it.”**

I take a napkin and stick it on his mouth. Joshua doesn’t let this occasion for a gag to go to waste and starts making weird faces while the napkin covers the lower part of his face. The three of us wholeheartedly laugh and keep on bantering until the ice cream is gone in our stomach. 

**“Now, I’ll do the washing up and you will relax on the sofa,”** I state as I stand up and put the empty glasses on the tray. 

**“No way. I have already rested yesterday night.”** Joshua stands up too, while Jihoon quietly goes for the sofa. 

**“But you’re my guests, you can’t clean!”**

**“ _There’s no written rule about that_** **to use your own words,”** Joshua says, trying to mimic my voice. 

**“Damned me. I speak too much.”** I hit my mouth as a way to reprimand myself.

**“C’mon, we will be faster if the three of us work together and then we can all rest.”** Joshua then turns towards the sofa. **“Jihoon, get your ass up from that sofa.”**

**“Okay, let’s get working!”** Jihoon says in a fake excited tone while walking towards us. 

The tasks are assigned: I will do the washing, Jihoon will dry and Joshua will put the tableware to their place.   
We do work faster as we make a good team.  
We even get to clean the floor and mop it. 

**“The floor in the living room, as well as the one in the kitchen, is wet. We can’t lay on the couches or sit on chairs.”** I put the mop back into the cabinet and empty the bucket of water. 

**“Should we go to your room?”** Joshua asks, already inching towards the stairs. 

I hesitate a bit. I don’t want the vertically challenged guy to be in my most private space. But what can I do? It really is the only place we can go to. **“We have to.”** I sigh. **“Let’s go upstairs. Hyung, show him the way.”**

We climb up the stairs, Joshua leading the way to my room. I feel anxious as a stranger is about to see something that even I was unwilling to show even to Joshua and Seokmin until we got super close. It’s the space in which I can show my true self, without fear of being judged for the things I do or like. However, here we are now with Joshua opening the door to my room and Jihoon following him as he walks in the room. The shorter can’t help but look around, studying the room and noting every small detail. 

_ ‘I can say goodbye to that little privacy I had left.’  _

**“I’m sorry for the mess but I hadn’t time to tidy it up.”** I pick up my pyjamas from the floor and throw it in the wardrobe. 

**“It’s not that you hadn’t the time. You were just too lazy,”** Joshua points out.

**“True, but remember that there’s order in my chaos.”** I cross my arms, proud of my statement. 

**“Whatever helps you sleep at night.”**

Joshua doesn’t even wait a minute before plopping himself on the chair in front of my laptop. I already know that he’s going to listen to _Sunday Morning_ and then put an episode of the show he enjoys watching these days.    
I shake my head and then going to sit on my armchair. I put it next to the window so that I could look at the sky and the sun setting while being comfortably sitting and maybe sipping to some tea or hot chocolate. Jihoon, however, keeps looking around until he fixes his gaze on the wall next to my bed which is full of photos. There are shots of some of the happy and most important moments of my life. I have polaroids taken with my parents, with my friends who live in Japan, with Seokmin and Joshua and even the polaroid we had taken yesterday night at dinner. 

**“I plan to entirely cover it,”** I suddenly say from my place next to the window. 

**“Uh?”** Jihoon turns around to face me.

**“The wall. I want to cover the entire wall with photos and even the one next to it.”**

**“Do you like photography?”** He asks me with what I guess is interest in his eyes. 

**“I do. I would like to walk around with a professional camera around my neck so that I can capture with it the things that capture my eyes. However, I have to settle for my phone camera or the polaroid one for the time being.”** I sigh.

**“I see.”** These are the only words Jihoon speaks while gently touching some of the polaroids hanging. 

**“Don’t stand there,”** I say after a while, making him jump as he maybe was lost in his thoughts. **“Sit on the bed, it doesn’t bite.”** I giggle. **“You can even lay there, it doesn’t matter.”**

Jihoon looks at me, puzzled and surprised. I am too when I realise how kind I have been to him until now. 

_ 'What is happening to me? Have I gone crazy again?' _

He probably decides to let it slide and lets himself fall deadweight on the bed, sprawling his limbs. 

**“It’s comfy, isn’t it?”**

**“A lot.”** Jihoon closes his eyes and his lips automatically lift in a smile. 

**“If it hadn’t been comfortable, Soonyoung would’ve never bought it,”** Joshua chimes in. I don’t know for how long he might have eavesdropped our conversation. 

**“Excuse me?”**

**“A prince has to sleep on a comfy bed,”** Joshua says in a mocking tone. 

**“Hyung! Don’t mock me!”** I whine.

**“I wasn’t. I was actually complimenting you.”** He’s trying to convince me he’s telling the truth. 

**“Really? Which part of that was a compliment?”**

**“When I called you a prince.”**

**“To mock me.”**

**“I get it.”** He sighs. **“I will never compliment you again.”**

**“You never do anyway.”** I puff my cheeks and pout to pretend to be hurt by his words. 

However, our bickering is interrupted by a light snoring. 

We both turn around only to see that Jihoon has fallen asleep. 

**“He fell asleep faster than the flash! He just laid there!”** I exclaim, shocked. 

**“I am as shocked as you are.”**

_**“Was he that tired?”**_ I mumble under my breath and Joshua doesn’t seem to catch that as he is pointing at Jihoon and says, **“Seems he has found something to sleep with. Look at what he’s hugging.”**

I follow Joshua’s finger and see that Jihoon is hugging my favourite stuffed toy: a hamster with a red ribbon around his neck and holding a heart with _‘I love you’_ written on it. It was a gift that one of my close friends from Japan had sent to me for my birthday the year I came here. I always sleep hugging it and seeing Jihoon like that bothers me a little. It’s _my_ plushie, not his. However, I decided to let it go. Jihoon looks so peaceful, the lines of his face more relaxed. He looks quite good without the constant frown he usually wears. 

The fact that he was hugging the hamster made him look like a child who got knocked out after having played the entire afternoon at the park. 

Joshua spares me a knowing glance before returning to his show while I get up from the armchair and walk towards the closet. I open it and grab a blanket to put on Jihoon. 

I hate him but it’s chilly in my room and a few days from today they have to perform. If he gets cold, he could run a fever and the band couldn’t do their night. That’s the last thing I want as I would really feel guilty about it and that’s the only reason why I put my pride aside and cover Jihoon with the blanket. 

After doing that, I grab my headphones and plug them to the phone as I go back to sit on the armchair. Before hitting the play button, I tell Joshua to pay attention to the doorbell as I won’t be able to hear it. 

The tiredness from this morning suddenly falls on me and makes my eyelids feel so heavy to the point that I can’t help but close them. 

As I listen to the music and imagine scenarios about Wonwoo and me, I slowly drift into the dreamland.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this took longer than it usually does but this weekend has been so busy!  
> I hope you enjoyed it as the things between these two are warming up!  
> What do you think will happen next? Let me know as I'm curious of what you think!!


	13. Chapter 13

**_Jihoon’s point of view._ **

I jolt awake and look around me, feeling a little bit lost.    
I slowly take in the fact that I’m not in my room and not even in Joshua’s guest room. 

_ ‘Oh, right.’  _

I remember this is Soonyoung’s room and I fell asleep on his bed.    
I slightly lift my head and see Joshua hyung watching something on the laptop wearing headphones so there would be no use in calling him. As I try to get up, I notice a blanket covering my body and a hamster plushie next to me. 

_ ‘What the hell? Was I holding it?’  _

Shaking my head with evident distaste on my face, I get up from the bed. I go to Joshua and tap his shoulder to make him turn around. He does and takes his headphones off.  
I was about to speak when he puts his index over my mouth, gesturing that I shouldn’t talk. He then points towards the window and I finally notice Soonyoung sleeping on the armchair. 

_ ‘He must feel a little bit uncomfortable sleeping like that.’  _

When I realise what I was thinking, I automatically flinch. 

_ ‘Who cares if he’s comfortable or not. It’s his problem and not mine.’  _

When I turn around, Joshua’s not there anymore and I assume he just went downstairs. 

I climb down the stairs, a little bit unsure of where to go, when I hear a faint noise coming from the living room. I walk in there to find Joshua sitting on the couch and zapping, trying to find a program that could suit his taste. 

**“For how long I’ve been sleeping?”** I ask as I sit next to him. 

  
**“Not much. Maybe half an hour?”** Joshua simply replies, not averting his eyes from the bright screen in front of him. 

  
**“Basically since we went to his room.”**

  
**“Exactly.”** He takes a short pause and then starts again. **“As you may have noticed, we’re here because Soonyoung is sleeping.”** Joshua sighs and shakes his head but a fond smile is tugging at his lips. **“That guy. He said you fell asleep faster than a bolt of lightning and he did the same thing right after putting the blanket on you.”**

  
**“He was the one who put it?”** To say that I was taken aback it’s an understatement. **“I thought it was you.”**

  
**“Nope. He did that on his own free will. You fell asleep hugging his favourite plushie too.”**

  
**“The hamster one?”**

  
**“The hamster one.”**

Joshua hyung is now looking at me with a weird, almost creepy, smirk. I bet he’s plotting something in his head like he always seems to do. 

Wait. 

If that idiot hates me, why did he take care of me? 

He has been kind this entire morning, even while I was looking at his photos in the room. 

Oh, right. 

It’s because Joshua is here with us so it’s only normal that he’s behaving like this, pretending to be kind and caring so hyung cannot figure out the mutual hatred lingering behind this façade. 

Lost in my thoughts, I jump a little when I hear a sudden loud snore coming from right beside me. I turn only to find that Joshua fell asleep. 

_ ‘What’s wrong with everyone today? Did hyung put some sleep aid in our food?’  _

I sigh as it’s a matter of time before we have to go to Mingyu’s and both Wonwoo hyung and that idiot’s friend will come here and Joshua hyung had the guts of falling asleep. 

I am a bit uneasy with being the only one awake in a house that is not mine or of one of my huyngs. I am a little bit thirsty but I guess I shouldn’t roam around and so I opt to steal hyung’s coke that he left on the coffee table. 

Trying not to wake him up, I steal the remote from Joshua’s hands and start zapping like he was doing a while ago, looking for something interesting and funny to watch. When I was about to give up, I land on a rerun of one of my favourites variety shows and decide on watching it as I sip the not-really-stolen drink. 

  
  


Not even half an hour has gone by when the doorbell rings. Both Joshua and Soonyoung are still sleeping and so it’s my duty to open the door and I really hope it’s not the idiot’s parents or it would be really embarrassing. Imagine if you’d find a stranger in your house while your son and his best friend are sleeping as if they had fainted. I would totally look like some sort of criminal.  
To my luck, it’s Seokmin. 

**“Oh, hi, Jihoon.”** Seokmin looks as if he has just seen a ghost which could probably be true considering how white my skin is. **“What are you doing here?”**

  
**“Joshua hyung and I came here to have lunch.”**

  
**“I see.”** Seokmin smile falters a bit with the next question. **“Can I walk in?”** He seems a little embarrassed. 

  
**“Oh, yes sure. I’m sorry,”** I say as I move from the door, making him come inside. 

  
**“Where are hyung and Soon?”**

  
**“Joshua hyung is sleeping on the couch and the idio-”** I cough and get myself together **“ehm Soonyoung is sleeping in his room.”**

**“But it’s almost time to go! We should wake them up!”** Seokmin’s voice showing is frustration as it may not be the first time they fall asleep before an appointment. 

**“Wonwoo is still not here so we can wai-”** I was trying to calm him down when the doorbell rings again and my sentence gets cut off. **“Speak of the devil. Here he is.”**

This time, Seokmin is the one welcoming the newcomer. The latter is as lost as me when I first entered the not-so-familiar house. 

**“Are you ready to go?”** Wonwoo asks us as he joins me in the hallway. 

**“Almost, we need to wake up Joshua hyung and his friend.”**

**“I will go upstairs to get Soonie, you take care of Joshua,”** Seokmin suggests as he is already climbing the stairs. 

Wonwoo hyung and I look at each other for a very short time. We both shrug and go waking Joshua hyung up. 

It will be a hard task to carry out. 

  
  


**_Soonyoung’s point of view._ **

I jolt awake.    
I fell asleep on the armchair and now my limbs are sore and stiff. 

_ ‘What time is it?’  _

I ask myself as I look around and I can’t find neither Joshua hyung nor Jihoon. I pick the phone that was sitting on my lap and I see that it’s slightly past four thirty. 

I panic and stand up, making the armchair screech on the floor. 

As I’m trying to recover from the dizziness due to the sudden movement, I hear footsteps from outside the door. The latter slowly opens as if the person behind it doesn’t want to be noisy. It’s Seokmin. 

**“You’re awake!”** He exclaims, surprised to find me standing up.

**“I just woke up.”** I rub the sleep from my eyes. **“How long did I sleep?”**

**“I don’t know. You should ask Joshua or Jihoon.”** At the mention of that name, Seokmin stops in his tracks. **“Wait, why is he here?”**

**“I ask myself the same thing.”** I sigh. **“He was at Joshua’s and they both came here because I was home alone.”**

**“Aw, that was cute. He is cute, though.”**

**“You know that Joshua hyung wouldn’t have left me alone.”**

**“I wasn’t talking about hyung.”** Seokmin nudges me. 

**“Ya!”** I yell and maybe they even heard me from downstairs. **“Whose side are you on?”**

**“I was just kidding.”** He rolls his eyes. **“Now, be fast and get ready. Wonwoo hyung is here.”**

**“Really?”** My demeanor changes in 0.0001 seconds. I was ready to fight Seokmin but now I am soft for that handsome hyung.

**“Yup, they’re all waiting for you.”**

**“Give me five seconds.”**

I sprint towards the bathroom and it was so quick and sudden that if I had been in a cartoon, a Soonyoung-shaped dust silhouette would’ve had lingered in the air for a couple of seconds before fading. 

When I’m done, I go back to find Seokmin waiting for me in front of my room with my phone and backpack in his hands. I thank him and we both climb downstairs to join the others. 

**“Hi, Soonyoung.”** Wonwoo greets me with the sweetest of smiles and I swear I could’ve melted right there, right then. 

**“Wonwoo hyung!”** I greet him back, happiness evident from my tone. **“How are you?”**

**“I’m good. Did you sleep well?”**

_ ‘That’s it. He is the one. Not only he is handsome and funny but he’s even caring!!!’  _

**“I did, thanks,”** I reply as I try not to blush too hard. **“How much did I sleep?”**

**“You fell asleep right after Jihoon did,”** Joshua answers from the couch. **“You looked like two angels while sleeping.”**

**“I’m an angel even when I’m awake. Remember that, hyung,”** I proudly say, straightening my back. 

Joshua hyung snorts. **“The only angel I know, it’s Jeonghan and it’s only because of his birthdate, not because of his personality.”**

Jihoon bursts out laughing and I don’t know if it’s because Joshua has denied that I’m an angel or because of the reference to Jeonghan hyung.  
In doubts, I glare at him but he doesn’t seem to notice as he keeps on laughing. 

**“Let’s go or we’ll be late!”** I exclaim, blatantly pouting. 

I grab my keys and wait for the guys to walk out before closing the door, a little voice inside my head making me wonder how would it be to lock Jihoon in and pretend to have forgotten him in there, even if it’s just for a couple of minutes. I shake my head, knowing that this evil thought would only bring more damages to me than to him. We all head towards Joshua’s house to get his car and, while we’re walking, Seokmin grabs me by the arm, motioning to slow down. I assume he has something to say that the others shouldn’t hear. 

**“So, how did he behave today? Did you fight?”** He asks, nodding his head towards the knob.

**“Not at all. He was like a normal person and not being a douche but it’s only because Joshua was with us.”**

**“Are you sure about that?”** Seokmin is inspecting my face as if I was hiding something from him and he could’ve found out just by looking at me. 

**“Definitely,”** I say as I nod my head. **“When Joshua wouldn’t look, we kept on glaring at each other.”**

**“Do you really think you will never get along? I mean, you liked him as a singer and Joshua hyung has been saying that he’s a cool and funny guy.”**

**“You know how strong our first impression was. If there has been hatred since the first day, things cannot easily change.”** I kick a pebble as I speak, not wanting to meet Seokmin’s eyes. **“The fact that he is a great singer and drummer won’t change because he is amazing and I’m not ashamed of admitting it.”** I sigh for the umpteenth time that day. **“About the cool and funny part, I have some doubts. It’s not like he has been funny or cool with me.”**

**“But when he texted you from Joshua’s phone, you told he was funny and he had said the same thing about you,”** Seokmin says in a low tone as the boys in front of us had been slowing their pace. 

**“That was before the truth was out. Now, there couldn’t be any kind of relationship between us if not the enemy one. However, let’s stop talking about His Highness,”** I spit out a bit frustrated at how Seokmin is pushing me to change idea about the douche. 

I know that he may be more than a douche but the way he had been treating me is not helping his case. Plus, it’s not like he wants to befriend me too. 

Seokmin and I keep on walking in silence as we get to Joshua’s house.  
Once we’re there, we wait for him as he goes grabbing the car keys. While he’s not here, we start fighting for the seats because everyone seems to want to be sitting at the front. Joshua has to intervene to reach an agreement the moment he steps out and sees us almost cursing at each other because of a lost rock-paper-scissors match. Seokmin will be sitting on the front and he gains an eye-roll from me because of how close he was to fangirl about sitting next to his crush. However, this leaves me sitting between Jihoon and Wonwoo hyung in the back seats. 

_ ‘If that knob hadn’t been here, it would’ve been a great trip.’  _

**“Hyung, you still haven’t told me when and where we have the gig,”** Jihoon suddenly says after Joshua had started the engine. 

**“The gig? Isn’t it in two mont-”** Wonwoo is cut off by Joshua. 

**“Wonwoo, did you forget it?”** Joshua asks through gritted teeth. **“We have a gig in two days or else why on earth would we rehearse on a Sunday?”**

**“Uh? Oh, right. I-I forgot?”** Wonwoo’s words sounding more like a question than a statement. 

**“By the way, it’s a club right outside the city,”** Joshua adds looking at us from the rearview.

**“How come you haven’t told me?”** Jihoon asks, still doubting his hyungs behaviour.

**“We thought you knew since not only Mingyu told me this morning but we even talked about it yesterday during dinner.”**

**“Yes, I remember that.”** Seokmin chirps in to agree with Shua hyung. **“Maybe it was when Jihoon was washing the dishes.”**

**“ _I_** **was washing the dishes. He was just drying them while I was the one doing the hard labour,”** I say the moment they try to give credit to him for something _I_ did.

**“Look, drying the dishes is as important as washing them,”** Jihoon says, turning towards me to glare. 

I pinch Jihoon on his leg to make him shut up because he’s being annoying, again. 

**“Oi!”**

**“Did something happen?”** I smirk.

**“You pinched me.”**

**“I did? I would never do that.”** I clutch my chest, pretending to be hurt by the not-so-false accusation. **“We’re not into that kind of relationship in which we can pinch each other.”**

**“Aren’t they adorable? Look how they bicker.”**

Upon hearing Joshua’s words, I pull myself together and I remind myself that nobody but Seokmin knows the truth. I sit straighter than before but then I look at Wonwoo and remember that I’m not _that_ straight.  
He’s looking outside the window and his jawline is so sharp I bet he can cut everything with that. He looks like he’s straight _(I hope he's not)_ out of a music video, the sunlight making him glow up.   
I don’t have the time to look away when he turns towards me and smiles at me. I melt at how sweet and cool he looks right now, the light behind him creating a kind of aura around his figure. 

He is an angel, I swear. 

I take the chance to start a conversation with him and I’m so glad we’re stuck in traffic so we can talk a little bit more while we get to Mingyu’s house. Sometimes, I spare a glance in Jihoon’s direction as he has been silent since Joshua’s remark but he doesn’t seem interested in any conversation be it Joshua and Seokmin’s one or Wonwoo and mine. He’s just there, tapping his fingers on his leg to an inaudible tune that’s probably playing in his head. 

After more or less fifteen minutes, we are at Mingyu’s. Seungkwan is welcoming us at the door. 

**“Boys, you did it!”** He says, hugging Seokmin who’s at the front of the group. **“I almost thought you had given up on our plan.”**

**“Plan? What plan?”** Jihoon says, emerging from behind Joshua and Seokmin.

**“The rehearsal’s plan, of course!”** Joshua hysterically laughs and pushes Seungkwan inside. 

**“The others are already in the garage?”** Wonwoo asks to change the topic of the conversation. 

**“Yes, hyung. Follow me, y’all!”**

We follow Seungkwan into the garage where we find everyone sitting on the floor in a circle, mumbling and whispering things. The mood is a little bit awkward as we walk in there because they were probably hiding something from us but I don’t want to overthink it. Maybe Jihoon and I are being too paranoid as we are on our guard, afraid of them finding out the truth and shatter Joshua’s happiness. That’s why I don’t pry too much in it and decide to just enjoy this moment. It’s the first time Seokmin and I see them singing live and we are so excited.    
The boys get their instruments and, when they’re ready, Jihoon gives the tempo with his drumsticks. I immediately recognise the song. It’s the one Joshua often talks about since the moment I said I really liked it. He said that this is one of the first pieces Jihoon had composed and if you could hear it, you would agree with people calling him a genius composer.    
They all look so energetic and it’s good to see how much passion they put in their music. It looks as if they’re already performing and not just rehearsing. 

I have to admit it, watching them live it’s really different than listening to their songs on my phone. You can really feel from the way they play that music it’s what they live for. 

After almost two hours, the boys take a break to rest a little. Seokmin and I get closer to them, eyes sparkling. 

**“Hyung! I would like to say that you are good but…”** I take a dramatic pause because I live for Joshua’s panicked and scared face. **“...it wouldn’t be enough. You are amazing!”**

Joshua, who was holding his breath, visibly relaxes. **“Did you had any doubts about that?”**

**“Never had.”** I smile at him. 

**“I have to agree with him,”** Seokmin adds, going to Joshua’s side. 

**“It’s so obvious that every single one of you loves music! All your feelings and the unspoken words are all held in your songs and one can feel it.”** I can’t contain my excitement as I flail my hands left and right. 

**“Too many compliments, these boys will end up getting swelled heads.”** Seungcheol snickers. 

  
**“But it’s true! You were fantastic!”** Seokmin claps his hands in a seal-like way. 

**“What do you think about our voices?”** Jeonghan plops himself on the couch in there, right next to Seokmin. 

**“We love them!”** Seokmin takes Jeonghan’s hand as he answers, gaining a glare from both Joshua and Seungcheol. However, he doesn’t notice that. 

**“True! The vocals were good and stable.”** I look at Wonwoo and then add, **“I especially liked the rapping.”**

**“Stop it or you’ll make us blush.”** Wonwoo says, kind of flustered as he dries his sweaty forehead with a towel. He had been so hype while rapping. 

**“You know, Soonyoung is maybe too shy to admit it but he loves our maknae’s voice,”** Joshua says, that evil smirk appearing again. 

**“Uh?”** Jihoon looks confused. 

**“Hyung?”** The words _‘what the fuck are you doing’_ lingering there as I glare at him. 

**“C’mon, you always say that you like Jihoon’s voice a lot!”** Joshua walks over where I am sitting to ruffle my hair. 

**“Let’s not exaggerate.”**

**“I’m not exaggerating.”**

**“Yes, you are,”** I insist to make hyung stop. 

**“Aren’t you thirsty?”** Seokmin asks, a clear sign for us to stop bickering. 

**“Yes, I’ve been dying to drink something,”** Seungkwan says, quickly grasping what Seokmin was trying to do. 

**“The minibar in here is out of service. The drinks are upstairs, in the fridge. Volunteers to get them?”** Mingyu’s only answer to his question was dead silence. 

Until Jihoon spoke. **“I will go.”**

**“Can you do it by yourself?”** Seungkwan asks. One would think that he wanted to help Jihoon with the drinks, but he hasn’t moved an inch from his seat on the floor. 

**“Of course. Bringing _nine_ bottles of water is a piece of cake,”** Jihoon says, not even trying to hide the sarcasm in his tone. 

**“Soons, why don’t you help him?”** Joshua has is gaze fixed on me. 

**“Me? Why me? Can’t you help him?”**

**“I’m too tired.”** And he lays on the floor to prove his point. 

**“It’s not your house and you know that I’m too shy to go roaming around someone else’s house.”**

**“Don’t worry,”** Mingyu says, clasping his hands together. **“My parents and my sister are not here so the house is empty. Apart from us, of course. You won’t meet a soul upstairs.”** He insists. 

**“But-”** I was about to protest again when I get cut off. 

**“Look, I don’t bite. If you don’t want to come, I can go by myself.”** Jihoon is already climbing up the stairs not even sparing a glance at me to see if I’m following him or not. 

**“You’re making such a fuss about this,”** Joshua says as Seokmin repeatedly slaps me on the back to make me stand up.

**“Okay, I got it. I’ll go!”** I lift my hands to show that I surrender and quickly climb the stairs to catch up with the knob. 

  
  
  


_ ‘Joshua, I don’t care if you’re my favourite hyung. I will get my revenge sooner or later.’ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this took quite a while and it's a little bit of a filler chapter, but these days have been hectic since on Monday it was my birthday and I didn't have too much time left to plan this chapter.  
> I hope you'll enjoy it!!


	14. Chapter 14

Here I am. Wandering around the house of a hyung I’ve recently met with the guy I hate. Who would’ve thought that, someday, I’d found myself in this kind of situation?

Jihoon glances me from time to time as we go upstairs and this is driving me insane. Why does he have to look at me while I’m having a silent mental breakdown?!

_‘Okay, Soonyoung. Calm down. You just have to shut up. If you don’t talk to him, you don’t fight with him. You just need to grab water and go back to the garage without even opening your mouth to breathe. You can do it, champ.’_

I follow the knob in the house and he is now going towards what I think is the kitchen.

**“So, you like my voice, uh?”** Jihoon turns towards me with an unrestrained smirk.

**“What the fuck?”** I look at him. **“No, I don’t.”**

**“I don’t think Joshua hyung would lie on this.”** He enters the kitchen and leans on the counter to look at me, arms crossing on his chest.

**“Are you trying to get on my nerves?”** I clench my fists as my plan to shut up failed thanks to him. 

**“Oh my God, no.”** Jihoon’s voice is so full of sarcasm.

**“Stop being sarcastic.”** I would really like to punch his face but I can’t.

He scoffs. **“Jeez, what can I do when I’m around you? Do I have to turn into a statue and maybe stop breathing, too?”** He licks his lips and runs his fingers through his hair in frustration. The gesture makes my stomach make a weird flip. It must be anger.

**“You can do whatever you want to, just stop torturing me!”** I take a step closer to him.

**“Well, unless proven otherwise, you are the one who attacks me.”** He takes a step closer to me as well.

**“That’s not true!”** Offended, I scoff and turn my head on the side.

**“It is true.”** He runs his hand through his hair, again. **“Look, I’m trying to act like a normal person would, at least in front of the others.”**

**“And why would you do that?”** I glare at him.

**“Because everyone is fucking certain we get along and we’re similar. Before actually meeting you, Joshua hyung wouldn’t shut up about the fact that you and I would’ve become great friends because we share some traits and interests.”** He sighs and takes a pause before adding in a little voice, **“I don’t want to disappoint him.”**

**“Neither do I.”** My shoulders slumped in resignation. Jihoon is right about that.

**“Then next time, stop behaving as you did a while ago. You will draw suspicion on us.”**

**“I was just trying to avoid bickering like we’re doing right now.”** I jam my hands in my front pockets and sigh. **“I’m so tired of it.”**

**“Well, I’m not fond of the idea of being left with a cry-baby like you, but I’m not making a big federal case out of this, right?”** He throws his hands in the air to put emphasis on his words.

**“Yeah, yeah. So, what do we have to grab? Just something to drink?”** I try to put his focus back on our task or the people downstairs could worry about our disappearance.

**“Yup, water will do.”**

I walk towards the fridge and open it to grab the bottles of water when a rumbling sound fills the silence of the room. I jerk my head in the direction of Jihoon and I find him lifting his hands to grab his tummy, face red because of the sound it emitted.

**“I think we should grab some snacks too.”**

**“You’re right. The guys must be hungry. But I don’t know where he has them locked.”** Jihoon tries to act indifferent as the one being hungry it’s not him.

**“We need to look for them, then.”**

**“It’s not your house! You can’t rummage through other people’s cabinets!”** He grabs my arms to try and stop me.

**“I’m aware of this, but you are hungry and I bet the others are too! You can’t starve! The Kims will understand.”** I put my hands on his arms to shove them away.

Looking around the room, a certain cupboard gets my attention. I don’t know why, but it looks like food could be in there. I open it hoping there will be something light they can munch on without feeling too full and, _bingo_!

**“Found them!”** I squeal.

**“What?”** Jihoon asks as he has his head inside the fridge to grab the bottles of water.

**“Pepero! I will grab a couple of boxes, no, I will take four of them. I think they’ll be enough, right?”**

**“I think so,”** He says as he closes the fridge with his foot, arms too occupied to do that.

**“Great! We can go back.”** I really want to mind my own business but I can’t seem to do that as I see him struggling with the water. **“Give me a couple of bottles, I’ll carry them.”**

**“I can do it.”**

**“I’m sure of that but let me take at least two, my other hand is free.”** I show him my empty hand to prove my point.

**“I said, I can do it,”** He insists.

**“Okay but then don’t go around saying that I didn’t help.”**

We return to the garage and when we step foot in the said room, we find the guys looking at us with eyes full of expectation.

**“What did it take you so long?”** Jeonghan asks, sprawled on the floor and head on Seungcheol’s lap.

**“We brought water,”** Jihoon declares, ignoring the hyung. 

**“And I thought you would be hungry as well, so I brought some snacks.”** I look at Mingyu and, smiling, I add, **“Hyung, I hope you don’t mind if I took them.”**

**“Nope, you did the right thing.”** He smiles back.

**“Well, actually, I am a bit hungry.”** Seungkwan chirps in.

**“The question is, when aren’t you hungry?”** Mingyu mocks him as he pokes Seungkwan’s belly.

**“While eating.”** Seungkwan slaps Mingyu’s hand, the latter making a sad puppy face.

Everyone bursts out laughing at how sincere Seungkwan is and at how Mingyu looks right now. I stretch to high-five Kwan hyung because let’s be honest, that is so relatable.

Once we all calmed down and dried our tears, Jihoon goes around handing the water while I give the pepero boxes.

**“So, there’s seven of you and only four boxes. You need to share them.”** I wait for everyone to nod and then proceed in handing the packs. **“One to Wonwoo and Seungkwan hyung.”**

**“Seungkwan-ah, let hyung eat some too, okay?”** Wonwoo takes the packet from my hand, our fingers brushing. He smiles at me as I blush and move away.

**“We’ll see,”** Seungkwan says, snatching the pack from Wonwoo’s hands.

**“One to Seungcheol and Jeonghan hyung.”**

**“Thank you!”** They answer in unison. I swear, sometimes these hyungs are _one brain, one soul._

**“One to Mingyu and Joshua hyung.”** I hand the box to Joshua hyung. 

**“Thank you, Soons.”**

**“And one to Jihoon,”** I say as I am now in front of him, handing out his pack of pepero while he his drinking. Jihoon looks shocked and a drop of water weaves its way on his chin, jawline and neck. 

**“It’s not fair! Why does he get an entire pack for himself?”** Seungkwan cries out.

**“There’s a particular reason for this?”** Joshua’s evil smirk is back. He seems like he never gets tired of that gesture.

**“It’s not unfair. I’m the maknae and this is one of my rights,”** Jihoon says once he snaps back. 

**“Bullshit.”** Seungkwan crosses his arms, pouting. 

**“It’s because he’s the most hungry out all of you.”** I point to all of them and then, with one hand I gesture Seungkwan hyung to get closer so I can not-really-whisper, **“Upstairs, his stomach wouldn’t stop rumbling.”**

**“Hey! That’s not true!”** Jihoon looks at me in disbelief.

**“Would it kill you admitting it?”** I giggle as I’m messing around with him.

**“It wasn’t my stomach. The noises came from the streets.”** He pouts and the hyungs are those who look at him in disbelief now. 

**“Stop making excuses and admit it.”**

Jihoon glares at me, then he looks at the boys and sighs.

**“Yeah. It was my stomach,”** He admits as the others giggle at how cute he looked. 

  
_‘Cute? CUTE? DID I THINK THAT WAS CUTE? IT WAS DISGUSTING. YEAH.’_

  
**“Seokmin, Soonyoung, do you want some?”** Seungcheol asks, pointing at the pepero box in his hand and making me snap back from my internal crisis.

  
**“No, thanks, I’m okay.”** Seokmin shakes his hands and smiles at the hyung.

  
**“Me too,”** I say as I’m plopping myself on the couch next to Seok.

  
**“Weird. You love pepero.”** Joshua takes a bite of the chocolate stick as he looks at me.

**“I’m still full from the food you brought for lunch.”**

**“You made food?!”** Jeonghan asks a bit shocked.

Joshua proudly nods. **“Yes, and Jihoon helped me.”**

**“Really?”** Seungkwan snaps his head towards the maknae, eyebrows wiggling.

**“Hyung, there’s no need to mention it,”** Jihoon shots at Joshua hyung, ignoring Seungkwan.

**“You both were at Soonyoung’s?”** Seungkwan asks Joshua this time, certain of getting an answer.

**“Yup. We ate there and even took a nap.”**

**“A nap?!”** Wonwoo sarcastically asks. **“Hyung, when I got there you were in a slumber! Jihoon and I had to push you from the couch in order to wake you up!”**

Wait. I didn’t know that Joshua had fallen asleep and if both Seokmin and Wonwoo came inside my house means that…

_‘JIHOON WAS THE ONLY ONE AWAKE IN THE HOUSE?’_

The idea of that knob wandering in my house and touching my things makes me go pale.

**“Yeah.”** Jihoon smiles, eyes disappearing into crescents and showing the dimples I had never noticed before.

**“Lucky me, I hadn’t to go through the same struggle. When I went upstairs, Soonyoung was already awake!”** Seokmin proudly pats my shoulder.

**“I never went in a slumber,”** I say lifting my chin to show that I’m superior to Joshua.

**“Between you two,”** Jihoon points at me and then at Joshua hyung **“I don’t know who the worst heavy sleeper.”**

**“Says the baby who fell asleep in a nanosecond on my bed while hugging my plushie,”** I retort.

**“He really did that?”** Mingyu asks before slapping a hand on his mouth to prevent a laugh coming out of that, signing, that way, his death sentence.

**“He did.”** Joshua doesn’t even try not to laugh.

**“WHY NOBODY HAS TAKEN A PICTURE OF THAT?”** Seungkwan shots up from his seat and screams.

**“He caught us off guard,”** Joshua says.

**“But, in the end, he woke up and if it hadn’t been for him, I would’ve been waiting for an eternity outside the door,”** Seokmin teases while Wonwoo hyung nods in agreement.

**“That’s not true!”** I screech out in embarrassment.

Everyone is laughing at how flustered both Jihoon and I look at the moment. Both pouting like two babies: him because he got exposed, me because of the teasing. I don’t want Wonwoo hyung to have a weird image of me.

We kept on chatting and laughing for a while longer when, suddenly, my phone vibrates.  
I fish it out of my pocket and open the Kakao app.

**Mom:**  
_We’re home!_  
_Should we wait for you to have dinner?_

**“Guys, I’m sorry but I got to go. I think tonight it’s my turn to cook dinner at home.”** I stand up from the couch and put the phone back in my pocket after typing a quick answer.

**“One day you should cook for us too. Joshua says you’re good at that,”** Seungcheol says getting up as well as Jeonghan to stretch his legs.

**“Not really but I try.”** Cheeks heating up at the compliment. **“However, if you insist, I will cook for you.”**

**“I’ll get going, too. I still need to do my homework.”** Seokmin rubs his hands on his thighs before standing up.

**“Do you want us to come with you?”** Mingyu proposes.

**“Don’t worry. You still need to practice, right?”** Seokmin shots a smile at him, Joshua hyung is _not-so-subtly_ glaring at the two.

**“Plus, we like walking! We’ll make use of the situation to walk a bit.”** I nod at myself.

**“Are you sure?”** Wonwoo hyung asks. He is suddenly next to me, hand lightly put on my arm and he is looking at me a bit worried. **“It’s already dark and you told me you’re not so familiar with the area.”**

**“Y-yes, I’m sure, D-don’t worry.”** I stutter as I try to reassure him. I can’t help but smiling and softening at how he reciprocates the smile. Butterflies fill my stomach as everything around us seems to be fading.

**“Text me as soon as you get home,”** Joshua says, making me realise Wonwoo and I aren’t the only people left in the room.

**“I will.”**

**“ _Minnie_ , you too.”** Joshua is now looking at Seokmin who’s flustered at the endearment hyung rarely uses.

**“Oh...I w-will.”** Seokmin lowers his head to hide the redness creeping on his cheeks.

**“Try not to bump into someone bad,”** Jihoon says as he plops on the seat that was mine until a while ago.

**“I’m pretty sure I won’t do that today.”** I give a half shrug to him and then flash a smile at the others. **“See you then.”**

The boys all shout their greetings at the same time, making the room so chaotic. Seokmin and I wave at them before following Mingyu who shows us the way out.

After a while, Seokmin and I have to part ways, so I greet him as well.

While skipping to my house, all I can think about is taking a hot bath and then sleep tight _(and maybe dreaming about Wonwoo hyung)_ as a new week is about to start.

When I walk in, I see my parents waiting for me on the couch.

**“You’re finally home! We haven’t seen each other since yesterday morning!”** My mom comes to hug me. Her embrace is so tight I’m afraid she could choke me to death.

**“Have you been at Joshua’s?”** Dad asks, remote in his hand as he lowers the volume of the tv.

**“I was with him but we were at his friend’s house. He took Seokmin and me to see their rehearsals.”**

**“Finally!”** Dad claps his hands together. **“Tell me, are they good?”**

**“They’re amazing!”** I chuckle as dad is acting a bit like a fanboy.

**“Did Joshua come here today?”** Mom asks going back to her place next to dad.

**“Yup. He brought lunch.”** I lean against the door frame.

**“What a good boy.”**

**“Oh, another friend of his was with us. He ate here, too.”** I admit to them.

**“Who?”** Alarmed, my dad asks.

**“His name’s Jihoon. He’s part of the band.”**

**“Are you telling the truth?”** Mom has a suspicious look in her eyes.

**“Mom? Why should I be lying?”**

**“What if he’s your boyfriend and you don’t want us to know?”** She asks, arms folding on her chest and dad copying her.

**“Jihoon? My boyfriend? Have you gone crazy?”** I scoff **“Don’t make me laugh.”** I roll my eyes as well.

**“Uh? What’s wrong with that?”** Mom raises one of her eyebrows.

**“I can’t stand him.”**

**“Why?”**

**“I don’t want to talk about him but I hate him,”** I say through gritted teeth, fists clenching.

**“Calm down, tiger. You look like you’re going to explode.”** Dad laughs to lighten the mood.

**“I’m going to make dinner. Are you craving something in particular?”** I grab the opportunity to change the topic.

**“Not really. What about making kimbap so we can eat it here while watching the tv? We ate too much and our stomachs aren’t ready for another full course meal.”** Mom pats her belly as dad cooes at her, earning a slap from her.

**“Sounds good to me! I’m going to make it.”** I punch the air making my parents giggle.

I bring my things upstairs before going to the kitchen and get the work done. I was my hands, cook the rice and get the other ingredients ready on the counter. Once the rice cools down, I make the kimbap, cutting it and bringing it in the living room. As we’re eating and laughing at the nice gag we saw on tv, my phone vibrates. It’s Joshua.

**Joshuji:**   
_Are you home?_

**Hoshiya:  
** _Yes, hyung!_

**Joshuji:**   
_I told you to text me as soon as you got home._

**Hoshiya:**   
_I’m sorry.  
I totally forgot about it. _

**Joshuji:**   
_I picked up on that._

**Hoshiya:**   
_In my defence, I had to cook!_

**Joshuji:**   
_We were all worried about you._

**Hoshiya:**   
_Oh my God.  
Are you for real? _

**Joshuji:**   
_Yup.  
I was really thinking of going out and looking for you together with Jihoon. _

**Hoshiya:**   
_With Jihoon?  
Why him? _

**Joshuji:**   
_No particular reason._

**Hoshiya:**  
_Hyung, are you hiding something from me?  
__Lately, you’ve been acting weird and you kept mentioning Jihoon._

**Joshuji:**   
_You would get mad at me if I told you._

**Hoshiya:**   
_I won’t.  
I promise. _

**Joshuji:**   
_I’ll tell you tomorrow.  
On the way to school. _

**Hoshiya:**   
_C’mon, hyung!  
Tell me now! _

**Joshuji:**   
_Nope._  
 _It’s late._  
 _You need to go to sleep or else you won’t wake up tomorrow._

**Hoshiya:**   
_I hate you.  
I hate these cliffhangers of yours when you have to tell me something. _

**Joshuji:**   
_I love you, too._

**Hoshiya:**   
_Are you still at Mingyu’s?_

**Joshuji:**   
_Yup.  
We’re about to leave, though, or else his parents won’t let us come here anymore. _

**Hoshiya:**  
_Mingyu hyung couldn’t even argue with them.  
__We basically occupied their house the entire afternoon._

**Joshuji:**   
_True hahaha._

**Hoshiya:**   
_By the way, you were great today!_  
 _I’m looking forward to your performances!_  
 _I’m even considering to found a fan club!_

**Joshuji:**   
_It’s better if you go to sleep.  
You’re starting blabbing a bunch of nonsense. _

**Hoshiya:**   
_I’m telling the truth!_  
 _But I’ll go to sleep._  
 _It’s 10 pm and I’m a bit tired._

**Joshuji:**   
_You’re tired 24/7._

**Hoshiya:**   
_As if you weren’t born tired, too._

**Joshuji:**   
_I’m proud of that._

**Hoshiya:**   
_Sadly, I know that._  
 _Now, I’ll go._  
 _Good night, hyung._

**Joshuji:**   
_Night, Soons!_

I wish my parents a good night as I get up from the couch and then go upstairs. I walk towards the bathroom to take my long awaited bath. When the bathtub is full of hot water, I light up my favourite scented candle and dip my body in the water. As I hum along with the now-playing song, my mind returns to Jihoon’s words about not wanting to disappoint Joshua hyung.

Wouldn’t it be easier for both of us to tell him the truth instead of pretending to get along? Sooner or later, the truth will be uncovered and I think Joshua would be even more disappointed by us.

We could even try to cope with each other for real, but there’s bad blood between both of us so we would eventually end up fighting like we already do. We’re both stubborn and no one would let the other win, not even for the sake of the other’s peace and quietness.

After around thirty minutes of being in the water surrounded by foam and bubbles, I get out of the tub. I dry my body and wear my pyjamas.  
As soon as I walk in my room, I launch myself on the bed face first. I stay like that for a while, until breathing becomes difficult and I decide to get up and get under the blankets.

_‘That’s enough. I thought about it even more than I would’ve ever done. I need to follow my guts. Tomorrow, I’ll tell everything to Joshua hyung. He needs to know.’_

Thinking of the consequences this decision may bring and a little bit afraid of how everyone would react at the truth, I eventually fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter!  
> This week, I'll try to update twice as for about 10 days I will be not able to write any chapter. So, maybe in one or two days, chapter 15 will be ready as well!


	15. Chapter 15

It’s eight in the morning of a rather sunny day and I’m in my yard, waiting for Joshua to come and relishing in the warmth of the sun rays. When he comes out of his house, I run to him. 

**“Good morning, Soons.”** Joshua greets me with a big smile. 

**“Morning hyung! How are you? Did you sleep well?”** Instead of smiling, I glare. 

**“Yes, I did. And you?”** His smile never faltering. 

I scoff almost automatically. **“I roughly slept because of _you_.”**

**“Why?”**

**“You promised to tell me what is going on with you,”** I shout as he’s pretending not to know why I am being like this with him.

Something clicks in his head after pondering for a while. **“Oh, _that_ ,”** He simply says and then starts heading school.

**“Yes, that.”** I run after him because he won’t get away with that.

**“You promised not to get angry, though.”** Joshua shoves his hands in the pockets of his hoodie.

**“I remember promising that.”**

**“Okay.”** Joshua takes a few seconds to scrutinise my face, maybe to check if I was already angry at him or not. Then, he takes a deep breath and without any pause in between his words he says, **“Almost everyone has noticed** a certain **chemistry between Jihoon and you. I convinced the boys to pretend there’s a gig and _special_ rehearsals so you could spend a little bit more time together and get to know each other better.”** He puts in invisible air quotes the word _special_. 

**“Eh?”** I stop in my tracks. **“Are you fucking serious? So yesterday’s practice was a lie?”**

**“Yes.”**

**“I can’t believe that. I’m speechless.”** I throw my hands in the air almost willing to give up on this friendship. Why is everyone so clueless?

**“Don’t get mad,”** Joshua pleads as I walk past him without even sparing a glance at him. 

**“I’m not mad. However, there’s a thing you should know before going further with this plan of yours.”** I suddenly stop and Joshua, who was trying to catch up, bumps into my back. 

That’s it. That’s the moment. I have to tell the truth now before things take a bad turn. 

**“What?”** Joshua asks, rubbing away the pain from his nose. 

**“To be honest, Jihoon and I…”**

At that exact moment, Joshua’s phone rings and I get interrupted. Is it a sign from above that I should shut up about the matter? Maybe if I tell him now and he gets in a bad mood, something bad will happen. I don’t know why this thought crosses my mind but, for now, shutting up may be the best option. 

**“Hello? Yes. We’re on the way there. See you in a while.”**

Just a few words and a little giggle before hanging up and putting his phone back in his pocket. 

**“Who was at the phone?”** I ask, curious about the caller. 

**“Seungcheol. He’s outside our school.”**

**“Why would he be there?”**

**“I can’t tell you that. It’s a _surprise_.”** Joshua boops my nose and winks. 

**“You know I don’t really like surprises. Moreover, yours have this tendency of blowing up in my face.”** I shiver at the thought of what’s going to happen. 

**“My lips are sealed. I can only tell you that my behaviour is linked to this, too.”** He giggles and then slaps my arm. **“Now, walk faster!”**

We do quicken our pace and in five minutes we’re at the school gates. I am doubling over as I’m out of breath. Fast pace meant running and I can’t do that first thing in the morning!  
When I am able to breathe from my nose and not from my mouth like a puppy, I straighten my back and notice that leaning on the banner with the school’s name there’s Seungcheol, trying to look cool as the girls walk next to him, eyes fixed on his figure. They’re so lucky Jeonghan is not there. With _“_ they” I mean the girls _and_ Seungcheol. Joshua hyung said the blondie can be quite possessive of his boyfriend. I can imagine Jeonghan hyung grabbing Seungcheol by the ear and dragging him away as he whines. That image immediately shatters the one I see right in front of my eyes right now.

**“Good morning, Soonyoung.”** Seungcheol hyung greets taking his sunglasses off. 

**“Morning, hyung. How are you?”**

**“I’m good, thanks.”** He returns the smile I was flashing at him. 

**“What are you doing here?”** I ask, shifting from one foot to the other. 

**“I was just passing by and decided to stop here and greet Joshua.”** Seungcheol is awkwardly rubbing his nape and looks at Joshua as if he’s desperate and in need of help. 

**“Shall we go to the library?”** Joshua asks, chiming in. **“I’ll clock in and then we can go to the cafeteria to drink coffee.”**

**“Sounds good to me. Bye Soon, see you around!”** Seungcheol says a little bit too rushed, looking like he wants to run for his life. 

**“Soons, see you at lunch!”** Joshua screams as he gets dragged away by Seungcheol 

_ ‘Mmh...those hyungs are particularly odd today. I can sense that something unpleasant will happen very soon. Should I investigate or wait for it to hit me?’  _

I shrug and with those thoughts in my head, I reach my classroom. When I walk in, I see that Seokmin is not sitting where he should be, aka next to me. He is almost on the other side of the class and has this look in his eyes I can’t quite catch. 

_ ‘Is he hiding something too or am I becoming paranoid?’ _

No, I’m not paranoid.  
I’m positive that something’s going on with Seokmin too. I’ve not gone crazy and I don’t see conspiracies wherever I look at.

The bell rings and the teacher walks in. We all stand up to greet her and as we’re sitting down, she starts speaking. 

**“Everyone, listen really carefully. Today, a new student is joining us. He just got transferred to our school and will spend this last year with us, well, more with you all.”** She makes a gesture with her hand to include every student in the class. **“I ask for your collaboration. Make sure to put him at ease and give him all the help he needs.”** She then turns towards me, a smile so wide that it’s quite scary. **“You can come in and take your seat next to Mr Kwon.”** She points at the desk next to mine and then looks outside the classroom. 

Upon hearing his name being called, the new student walks in. Chin up and shoulders back, he makes his way to his new seat. Seokmin, worried, turns to look at me as I had gone tense, blank and pale at the same time. I can’t believe my eyes. It’s a dream, no wait, it’s a _nightmare_. It can only be a nightmare but right now I cannot even move a finger to try and pinch my arm for a reality check.  
The student keeps walking, reaches the desk and turns his whole body to me once he sits down. The whole room is dead silent and I think I had never hated the world, the fate and the gods above as I did at that exact moment.

**“Missed me?”** He smirks.

It’s Jihoon. _Lee Jihoon_. The vertically challenged boy. The knob. 

**“Not at all,”** I say through gritted teeth.

**“Disappointed but not surprised.”** The other students are all looking at each other, whispering and already gossipping. **“From today on, we’ll get to see each other every single day. Aren’t you happy?”** He teases me as he rests his chin on his palm. The left corner of his mouth rising in a half smile. 

**“I’m not. I’ll pretend you don’t exist. I think it’s going to be an easy task if you cooperate and shut your mouth,”** I spit out, arms crossed over my chest. 

**“That hurt, Kwon.”** He clutches his chest, faking being hurt by the remark. **“Just so you know, I transferred to this school not because I wanted to but because my parents decided to move in this area and this school was the nearest one.”** He takes a pause before adding, **“Don’t get weird ideas in that empty head of yours.”**

**“So you’re not here to torture the hell out of me?”**

**“Don’t flatter yourself that much.”**

The teacher coughs to grab our attention. **“Mr Kwon, one more thing. During the lunch break, bring Mr Lee on a tour of our school, show him the different classes and talk to him about the clubs and the other activities.”**

**“Teacher Kim, why me?”**

**“Because your friend, Mr Hong, told us that Lee and you are already familiar with each other.”** She rubs her hands clasped together. **“We thought it would be more comfortable for him to be around people he already knows, hence the desk next to yours.”**

Fuck it. Not this too. It’s just too much to take in at once. 

Joshua knew, Seokmin knew and neither of them has told me. Wait, was Seungcheol out there because he brought Jihoon here? That must’ve been the reason. _Passing by_? Bullshit. As expected, Joshua’s surprises aren’t the ones you’ll end up loving. This is almost be considered as throwing me in a cage full of lions. Moreover, as it wasn’t already enough, the teacher made us being _“desk buddies”_ and now she asked me to be his cicerone. Should I go around the school with him? 

**_No._ **

**_Fucking._ **

**_Way._ **

I look around and I find all the girls, and even some of the boys, checking him out, eyes fixed on his face and body as if they had never seen a boy in their lives. 

_ ‘Is he that special and handsome that people are staring at him as if they’re under some kind of spell?’  _

I try to check him out too, careful not to make him notice that I’m looking at him. I turn my chair and my body in a slanted position so that it looks as if I am facing the teacher and, at the same time, it makes me able to spare glances at the said boy. Being this close to him without having anger blinding me, makes me notice a lot of things I hadn’t cared about before.   
His black bangs almost cover his small eyes, which tend to disappear in little crescents when he smiles at Seokmin. A smile that forms dimples around his not-so-plump rosy lips. Is that a mole under his left eye?  
He kind of looks like a harmless cat, but his muscles say otherwise. His body is well built, the school uniform a bit tight around his biceps. He has this kind of sexy and charismatic vibe when he gives one of his half smiles to one of the girls staring at him. One could say that he doesn’t go unnoticed despite not being very tall. I know I hate him, but I can’t ignore facts. He is good-looking. Handsome. But his personality doesn’t match the looks. People’s right when they say one shouldn’t judge a book by its cover.

**“Stop staring,”** Jihoon suddenly mumbles, a smug look on his face. 

**“Uh?”**

_ ‘Was he talking about the girl? Or did he mean me? Did he notice?’  _

I don’t have time to think about it or to ask him further about the matter that the bell rings. I decide not to dig in his statement and just brush it off like I didn’t hear him. 

  
  
  


An hour, two hours go by and it’s already lunchtime. Jihoon gets up from his seat and looks at me for the first time after our little “talk” during the first period. 

**“So, should we begin the school tour?”** He asks, hands sliding in his uniform pockets. 

There’s no way I’m going to do that. I’m sure that Seokmin’s going to ditch me if I tried to make him come along. I need to make up an excuse and pass the baton to someone else. Maybe I should ask one of the students who was drooling for him a while ago. Maybe they’re waiting for a chance to talk to him and I’m really glad to help them. 

I fiddle with one of my earrings and then sigh before saying, **“Look, I’m kind of busy now. I’m going to ask someone else to be your guide. I can quickly solve this problem.”**

Jihoon opens his mouth as if he’s about to argue with that. However, he doesn’t. He closes his mouth and his shoulders go slump. A resigned **“okay,”** leaving his lips.

I quickly tap one of my classmates on their arm and suggest them to be Jihoon’s guide as I can’t really do that due to plans I had beforehand. The idea of being left alone with the new student makes my classmate smile so bright and wide that I’m actually scared their face is going to split in a half. This provokes a sort of pain in my stomach but I blame the hunger. It’s because of that, isn’t it? 

The said person whispers a **“thank you”** in my ear before introducing themselves to Jihoon and walking out of the class with him, hand placed on Jihoon’s back, to show him around. 

_ ‘Thank God, I’m safe.’  _

**“Why did you send him with Chanyeol?”** Seokmin appears from behind me, making me jump to my feet. **“Did you forget he tries to seduce every person he lands his eyes on? Don’t you remember what happened with Baekhyun, last year?”**

**“They can do whatever they want to. It’s not my business.”**

**“Do you hate him that much?”** He has a pained expression on his face. 

**“Yup. I don’t care about what he does.”**

**“Why?”**

**“Because he’s cocky, unlikeable and a knob,”** I list the adjectives on my fingers as I walk out the class followed by Seokmin. 

The latter pinches the bridge of his nose and heavily sighs. **“That’s because you don’t give him a chance to change the image you have of him.”**

**“It’s not like he tries to do that!”** I raise my voice and then realise I’m still in the school hallway. People are staring at us. **“Look, we’ve already talked plenty about that. I’m tired of having every conversation of ours revolve around him in one way or another.”**

**“If you say so…”** Seokmin looks so defeated right now. 

**“Let’s get lunch before it’s too late.”**

I move without waiting for Seokmin or checking if he’s following me or not but he did as he’s now behind me in the queue at the canteen. After loading our trays with food from today’s menu, we see Joshua waving at us from our usual table. We join him and he looks particularly expectant. I mentally roll my eyes as I sarcastically wonder why. 

**“So, Soons, did you like the surprise?”**

I can’t help but be sarcastic out loud, too. **“Oh, I liked it. A lot.”**

**“I was sure of that.”** He smiles, proud at himself. **“Wait, where is he now?”**

**“He is around with Chanyeo-”** Seokmin looks around and stops talking when he spots Jihoon looking for a table to sit at. **“Oh, never mind. He’s here.”**

Joshua looks at where Seokmin is pointing with his finger. When he sees the younger, he yells and throws his hands in the air to make Jihoon spot him. **“HEY, JIHOON! OVER HERE!”**

**“Hyung, stop yelling.”** Both Seokmin and I lean over the table to slap him. 

Jihoon smile at us and then nods at Chanyeol who just inched closer him to tell something. The taller’s back is facing us so I can’t read his lips and get an idea of what they’re talking about. When they part ways, Chanyeol joins his circle of friends at the centre of the place and Jihoon joins us. He sits next to Joshua, hence right in front of me. 

**“What do you think about our school?”** Seokmin kindly asks and you can tell by his voice that it’s a genuine question. 

**“I haven’t seen all of it, but I already like it,”** Jihoon answers as he digs his spoon in his bowl of rice and then dips it in the soup. 

**“Not all of it?”** It’s Joshua’s turn to ask a question. 

**“Chanyeol said we should continue our tour after the afternoon classes or else we would’ve missed the chance to eat lunch. To be honest, I am starving.”** He gives Joshua a full smile as he answers, a smile that doesn’t falter, not even a bit, when he glances at Chanyeol’s table. 

That pang, again. Am I still hungry? I swallow a spoonful of rice in hopes to soothe my stomach. 

**“What a great idea. This Chanyeol seems a considerate guy as, this way, you won’t skip your meal,”** Joshua’s tone is cheerful but he doesn’t look like it. He keeps on looking between Jihoon and me. **“Plus, you still haven’t joined any club so you’re free after classes and you can check on the activities to see which one suits you better.”**

**“That’s right. Maybe I’ll join the music club with Chanyeol! You know, he said he’s interested in producing music just like me. Oh, he seems very friendly, too.”**

**“You can say that.”** This time, Seokmin is the one who can’t hide the sarcasm in his tone. 

**“It’s true though.”** Jihoon frowns and pouts a bit. 

**“I know,”** Seokmin says before lowering his tone to mumble, **“He’s friendly to all of his preys.”**

Seokmin did that hoping Jihoon wouldn’t hear but, apparently, that’s not the case as the shorter asks, **“What do you mean?”**

**“Nothing!”** I say, maybe a bit too rushed, and laugh. **“You know, there’s a bit of bad blood between us. School competition, you know how that works.”**

I lower my head to play with the grains of rice left in the bowl. My nervous laugh dies pretty quickly and the table is left in silence. I can’t stand this any longer. I need to leave.

**“Well, I’m done eating. I got to go. I don’t want to be late to the next class.”**

I get up, chair screeching on the tiles and I walk away so fast that I almost drop my empty tray. Seokmin follows me, leaving Joshua and Jihoon alone at the table. 

Thank God, Seokmin doesn’t say a word about it or else I would’ve had to explain for the umpteenth time the reason why I don’t want to spend a lot of time with Jihoon. On the contrary, we discuss whether or not apport some changes to our _“SeokSoon Talk”_ radio show for the new upcoming season. 

  
  


Afternoon classes start and time flies while I’m busy not focusing on the lesson and doodling, again. Maybe time goes by really fast because I get easily lost in the flow of my thoughts and in the surroundings. For example, I can’t help but notice the looks Chanyeol has been giving Jihoon since we came back from lunch or the way one of the girls tries to slip a paper _(probably with her phone number on it)_ in Jihoon’s bag. The knob doesn’t seem to catch on any of that or maybe he pretends not to. 

When the last class is finally dismissed, Chanyeol rushes over to our desk. The taller pull his signature magnetic gaze when he asks Jihoon to resume their tour, a gaze that sends shivers down my spine. The smaller gladly accepts the offer, greets both Seokmin and me with a quick nod of his head before disappearing outside the classroom while giggling. 

That evening, Seokmin is over at my house to sort our notes of today’s classes and to finish our project for the radio show. When we’re pretty done with everything, we go downstairs to make dinner as my parents are still at the company. 

**“Did you know about Jihoon transferring to our school?”** A sudden question was thrown to Seokmin. It just popped in my head and out of my mouth. I hadn’t even the time to refrain myself from asking it.

**“Yes, but I didn’t know he would’ve joined our class.”**

**“Why haven’t you told me?”**

**“Joshua hyung made me promise not to tell you because he wanted to surprise you.”** Seokmin’s head hangs low and I know he feels a bit guilty about it.

**“That was kind of you but you know it wasn’t a delightful surprise.”**

_Silence._ The only sound that could be heard was of the vegetables getting chopped, of the soup boiling and the cars driving by on the streets. 

**“I think your relationship with him isn’t that bad.”** Seokmin breaks the silence after having an inner debate on whether to tell me that or not. **“Maybe it’s already improving but you don’t want to admit it to yourself.”**

**“Improving?!”** I ask, taken aback by the sudden statement. 

**“Yup.”** He vigorously nods. **“Even if the both of you bicker every time you open your mouth, you’re not at the point of wishing to be able to kill the other. You’re even getting more comfortable with one another.”**

I stop chopping and think about his words for a while. **“Seems true but there’s still bad blood.”**

**“And I still think it was cruel to send him with Chanyeol. That’s pretty low of you.”** Seokmin crosses his arms over his chest and lightly taps his foot on the floor tiles. 

I scoff and it seems to have become a habit of mine. **“Cruel?!”**

**“Yes, cruel. Chanyeol has been eyeing Jihoon since he had stepped foot in our class. You could already tell that he has become the next prey and you basically shoved him in his arms.”** Seokmin is mad, his voice and face show it all. **“Chanyeol pretends to care and uses people as if they are toys he throws away once he’s bored or when he founds a prettier one to play with. Would you like to be treated like that? Getting attached to him just to be broken when he’s tired of you?”** His voice raising at every question while his breath shortens.

**“Jihoon wouldn’t fall for that. He is not dumb to fall for someone like that. Plus, he doesn’t care about anyone!”** I yell back, frustrated. 

**“How do you know he won’t fall for that? Have you seen how sparkly his eyes were when he left the room? He’s already drawn by his charm to the point he’s about to walk straight into the trap after only half a day!”** He rubs his face with his hand to calm himself down. He takes deep breaths and rubs circles on his temples. **“Look, I know you don’t like him but you could at least spare him this. He doesn’t deserve to go through _that_.”**

**“It’s his problem if he chooses to follow Chanyeol, not mine.”** I turn towards the counter and resume chopping the vegetables. 

I know that I’m being stubborn but he’s a grown-up man and he can take care of himself. He should be able to understand when people are using him, right? 

Seokmin is about to talk back when we hear the door opening and the sound of keys being left on the table followed by one of the slippers sliding on the floor. My parents are here. With just a glance, we mutually decide to drop our talk about Chanyeol and Jihoon in order to ask my parents about their day, to finish cooking and to set the table so we can finally eat. 

The mood returns to be peaceful during the entire dinner. 

After the dessert, mom sends dad, Seokmin and me in the living room so she can clean the kitchen. When she joins us, she finds us sitting on the floor and eyes glued on an episode of the latest night drama about an actress falling in love with a lawyer. My parents laugh at the looks of disgust Seokmin and I share during the cheesy lines and at the tears we shed when we laugh too much at a funny scene.  
It’s past ten when Seokmin’s dad comes to pick him up.I wish him a good night as he makes his way to the car and then I do the same with my parents. I wish them a good night and then scoot off to bed. It has been so stressful today and more days like this about to come. 

The reason it’s only one and its name is _Lee Jihoon_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many things going on in this chapter: Jihoon becoming Soonyoung's classmate, Chanyeol finally appearing, Seokmin snapping. What a journey hahahaha  
> As usual, I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> PS: I won't be able to post for at least two weeks as real life needs me! I think I'll come back with a new chapter for this fic and maybe another Soonhoon one-shot. You can look forward to them!!


	16. Chapter 16

Three weeks have gone by from the moment Jihoon has transferred to our classroom. 

Since the day after he arrived, he waits for Joshua and me outside the school gates. He says it’s because he has to get used to the new environment but it’s just because, that way, I am forced to walk in the class with him. Of course, I get all kind of looks from our classmates as they think I am hanging out with the new boy. Seokmin is the only one who flashes me one of his signature smiles while other people just glare or scoff when we’re passing by them.    
Once we get to our seats, the other students all rush to our spot and shove me away in order to be as close as possible to Jihoon and “harass” him with questions and compliments. 

  
They would ask things like: 

_ “Jihoon-ah, what did you do last night?”  _

_ “Jihoon-ah, what’s your ideal type?”  _

_ “Jihoon-ah, is it true that you play in a band?”  _

_ “Jihoon-ah, when it’s your next gig? I want to come and see you!” _

Or throw compliments like: 

_ “Jihoon-ah, oh my. The uniform really suits you!”  _

_ “Jihoon-ah, you look really good with your hair pushed back!”  _

_ “Jihoon-ah, your fake earring is so cool, why don’t you get a real one?” _

_ Jihoon-ah, Jihoon-ah, Jihoon-ah.  _

It’s a constant repetition of his name, plus random things, from the moment we step foot in the classroom until the teacher starts the lesson. It’s like people don’t really know what personal space and minding their business is. 

However, Jihoon doesn’t seem to mind it. I started thinking he loves being in the spotlight and labelled as the  _ popular guy _ . 

I really hoped they would grow tired of buzzing around him like bees with their queen bee, but it’s been almost a month since he’s here and both boys and girls still act as if the sun shines out of his ass. 

It’s so frustrating. 

I know what you may be thinking but, no, I’m not jealous. 

The fact is that I am his “seat buddy” and what bothers me is that I have to bear with all the people trying to win his heart every single day. Letters, boxes of chocolates, flowers and all kind of gifts are left on our desk and Jihoon smiles that annoying dimpled smile every time he reads one of the love letters, eats one of the dark chocolates, takes in the fragrance of a rose or touches the music note charm swinging from a new bracelet or necklace they would give him. 

I blame that smile. 

I blame it for all of this fuss that I have to endure. If he stopped smiling, the students would eventually get bored of sending him gifts but no, he has to smile to each and every one of them because he has to play the role of the kind and lovable guy. If they only knew what kind of a dick he can turn into. 

The only perk of this whole situation is that he is so into his admirers that we barely quarrel these days. The only times this would happen is when he suddenly pokes my sides or legs because he wants me to get caught by the teacher or when he would slip a little piece of paper to me to just call me an idiot, to tell me to stop looking at the sky and focus on the lesson or to simply irritate me.  _ “Fuck off” _ is what I’m used to reply.  _ “You’re no fun, reason why I like Chanyeol better,” _ he writes back. At this point, I would scribble to go and have fun with him since they seem to have become the bestest of friends. 

They spend a lot of time together at school and even after that. 

Joshua is sad about this because, even at lunch, Jihoon prefers sitting at the taller’s table instead of ours.  
Hyung has been sending texts to Jeonghan telling him he finally gets how losing one of your favourite dongsaengs feels like. Jeonghan ends up calling him and they both get overly dramatic about it.

Seokmin, on the other hand, hasn’t really been speaking his mind about the relationship between the two. I bet he still thinks I was cruel to Jihoon and I have to admit that maybe he’s right. 

I had been reflecting upon his words every time Jihoon goes and sits with Chanyeol at lunch, smiles and looks at him during classes, runs to his desk when the last bell rings so they can head to the club-room together, brightens when they discuss composing and producing a new song. Chanyeol seems to show interest in him but I wonder if it is sincere, if on the inside he feels the same way as Jihoon does, if he shares the same excitement of the shorter about having found someone who understands his love for writing music. 

I can’t help but mull over all of that, can’t help but feel slightly guilty of probably having pushed Jihoon in something bigger than him, which could end up with him being hurt. But, again, Joshua told me that Jihoon sees Chanyeol as his friend and that he’s particularly fond of him just because they both love music. There is no reason at all for me to be worried about it. Joshua made sure that Jihoon doesn’t have feelings for Chanyeol the player like Seokmin thought. Jihoon is safe. 

Or so I thought until today. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Another day of school means another boring day. 

Classes seem to be never-ending and the fact I pulled an all-nighter to finish the script for the next episode of the  _ “SeokSoon Talk” _ radio show isn’t helping me stay focused.

Finally, it’s the last period for the day and the English teacher decided to put on a movie. She explained that it’s a helpful exercise allowing us to improve our listening and comprehension skills. It would’ve been an interesting thing to try if my brain would have cooperated with me but the urge of sleeping has become too much to be fought off. That’s why, I make up my mind to take a quick nap as the teacher wouldn’t notice in the darkness of the room, illuminated only by the faint light coming from the projector. 

However, Jihoon, being the straight-out-of-hell brat he is, decides it’s the perfect time to annoy me: he keeps on poking my sides with a pen and laughs at me when I would shove his hand away. I am so mad at him that the moment the bell rang, I bolt out of the classroom without even looking at him, waiting for him or checking if I had all my belongings in the bag. 

And, in fact, I had forgotten something really important: my phone.  
I am walking with Joshua hyung and we are almost halfway home when I realise that the said device is missing from my pockets and backpack. 

**“Hyung,”** I call for Joshua as I stop in my track. **“I forgot something in my classroom. I have to head back before the club activities end and they’ll close the gates.”**

**“Do you want me to come with you?”** He asks turning around, face concerned. 

**“Don’t worry, there’s no need to.”** I smile at him. **“You have to go at Mingyu’s, right?”**

**“Right.”**

**“So you better rush there!”** I say as I push him in the direction of our houses. **“I’ll see you later at my house?”**

**“Yup, you will. I’ll come right after practices are done.”**

**“Okay, then, see you later!”** I wave at him before turning around and sprinting. 

I run and run until I reach the school gate that it’s still open. 

**“Are you okay?”** The janitor asks as he spots me, panting and sweaty, leaning on the gate. **“What happened that made you run here?”**

**“I forgot something in my classroom,”** I explain. 

**“Couldn’t have you waited until tomorrow? Nobody would’ve touched your belongings anyway.”** The man asks as he scratches his head. 

**“It was pretty urgent. I needed it for a paper due to tomorrow morning.”** I lie in hopes he would stop questioning me. 

**“Be quick, young man. The clubs are almost done with their activities and this means I soon have to close the rooms and the gates,”** he says, head nodding towards the building standing next to him. 

**“Don’t worry, sir. I will be super fast. I won’t be wandering around.”**

**“Okay, then.”** He pats my shoulder. **“Come and see me in the courtyard once you’re done so I’ll know I won’t be locking you up in the school.”** He chuckles. 

I nod my head and rush to the classroom which is located on the first floor. 

The phone is still on the small wooden shelf placed under the desk. I grab it and immediately check if a certain someone has perhaps unlocked it and peeked in. 

Let’s be honest here. When I say someone, I definitely mean Jihoon. He looks like the type who would meddle in other people’s business. In my case, it would’ve helped his cause of torturing my existence. 

However, to my luck, I see that nobody has touched it so I secure it in my pocket and start heading to the courtyard. 

I climb down the stairs and almost trip on my own feet as I am trying to be as fast as possible to avoid being locked up in the school. I reach the agreed spot and, with the corner of my eye, I spot a silhouette. Thinking it belonged to the janitor, I walk towards it. 

**“Sir, I got the…”**

It is at that exact moment, I realise that who I am seeing is not the janitor. 

I freeze on the spot, eyes blinking fast as if that could change the event unfolding right before my eyes. 

Chanyeol is towering over Jihoon who is leaning on one of the school’s walls. 

Jihoon’s cheeks are flushed with a warm shade of pink and he’s shyly smiling at the taller. 

The latter is slowly inching closer, a smirk on his lips that disappears the moment his mouth touches Jihoon’s. 

_ They are kissing.  _

The smaller closes his eyes as if he’s relishing in the feelings the kiss is giving him. 

He then puts his hands on the taller’s shoulders to steady himself as he’s tip-toeing to try matching the other’s height. 

Chanyeol is now lifting his left hand to cup Jihoon’s cheek, thumb caressing his once fair and now pink-tinted skin. 

The time, that for a while seemed to have stopped, flows again. The fear of getting caught suddenly growing bigger and making me snap out of my shocked state. 

_ ‘I need to leave before they notice me.’  _

I try not to make any sound as I slowly retreat. 

When I’m off of their radar, I run back home. 

I hadn’t even realised I was running until I heard myself panting, drops of sweat streaming down my skin and lungs burning because of the lack of air. I stop in front of the door a couple of minutes to get myself together and, as soon as I walk in, I go for the bathroom to take a shower, hoping the water would wash away not only the fatigue but also the image of those two kissing. 

However, that doesn’t happen. 

The kiss plays and replays in my mind, becoming the only thought filling my mind. It was too shocking and I know the only way to get rid of all of this is to tell Seokmin.  
Towel held tight around my waist and hair still dripping wet, I walk in my room and call my best friend who answers after only two rings. 

**“Hello?!”**

**“Thank you for picking up right away,”** I say as I plop on the bed right away.

**“Did something happen?”** Seokmin asks, his voice filled with concern.

**“Yes but not to me. It’s something that I saw. Do you know what it is?”**

**“I wasn’t with you, dummy. Unless you tell me, I cannot know what you saw.”** I can feel Seokmin rubbing circles on his temples. 

**“It’s not the right time to joke around,”** I deadpan to make him realise I’m not joking either. 

**“For once, I was being serious.”** He sighs before adding, **“Hurry up and tell me, you’re worrying me.”**

**“I saw Chanyeol and Jihoon kissing in the schoolyard.”** I spurt out as if I am rapping and not talking. 

I hear Seokmin coughing, probably choking on something he was eating or drinking, or maybe on air. **“No way. Are you kidding me?”**

**“I’m not.”** I give him a bitter chuckle as I throw my arm over my eyes. 

**“I see that Chanyeol is moving faster than usual.”**

**“You know, it seemed sincere. I mean, the kiss.”** I take a small pause to think about how to describe the way I saw it. “ **Jihoon was sweetly smiling and Chanyeol was being gentle with him.”**

**“From Jihoon’s side, maybe it was sincere. With Chanyeol I wouldn’t be too sure.”**

**“Still believing that he’s playing with him?”**

**“Knowing what he did in the past, yes, and we have to do something.”** Seokmin suddenly goes silent as he’s thinking about how to rescue the endangered princess from his castle of delusions that might crumble with him inside of it. **“Someone has to warn him about the risk of getting hurt before it’s too late and, I think, Joshua hyung seems the only one who could do that. They are friends and he surely knows how to talk to Jihoon.”**

**“Maybe it’s already too late but I’ll tell Joshua to talk to him anyway.”**

Seokmin deeply sighs. **“He will be so sad at the news.”**

**“Jihoon? Yes, I guess. He has just got together with…”**

**“I meant Joshua hyung,”** He chirps in, interrupting me. **“He hoped that Jihoon and you would end up dating.”**

**“Not even in my worst nightmare. I wouldn’t date someone who’s annoying and tries his best to get on my nerves.”** I bolt up from my bed, the sudden action making me dizzy.

**“Still, Joshua hyung will be disappointed.”**

**“He will get over it.”** I walk to the closet and open its doors to look for a clean set of pyjamas.

**“And what about you?”** Seokmin asks and I’m quite confused at his question thrown like that. 

**“What do you mean?”** I ask back, shifting the phone from one ear to the other and then holding it between my shoulder and ear as I pick the clothes up.

**“How did you feel when you saw them kissing?”**

I put the phone on speakerphone so I could dry myself and put the pyjamas on. **“I was just shocked because I thought he was better than this.”**

**“Uh? I can’t quite follow you.”** He is probably scratching his head trying to find the meaning behind my words. 

**“You know, in his songs, he writes of a love which is pure, innocent, romantic. I strongly believed he would look for someone who can make him feel the things he sings about. However, he kissed the first person who flirted with him, showing that he’s an easy kid with no taste whatsoever in his partners. I’m starting to think the love he talks about is bullshit and he had never felt those things in his life.”**

**“Is it jealousy the one I sense, right there, in your words?”** He mumbles so quickly that I almost don’t catch what he’s saying.

**“Me? Jealous?”** I scoff. **“I see that your last brain cell has stopped working.”** Having worn my pyjamas and with Seokmin still on speakerphone, I move to sit on the armchair in front of the window to look at the sky and the people passing by, the children playing in the neighbour’s yard. 

**“Are you sure you’re not jealous?”**

**“I told you, I’m not jealous.”** I shove the damp hair away from my face **“C’mon, you know me! If I had been jealous, I wouldn’t be this calm about the matter.”**

**“You are jealous and that’s why you called me.”** Seokmin insists. 

**“I called you because I wanted to gossip, for once, about something that’s not my crush on Wonwoo hyung or yours on Joshua hyung.”** I point my index to his picture on the screen in an accusatory way before saying, **“Next time, I will not share this info with you and I’ll only tell Joshua hyung.”** Seokmin laughs and I let myself laugh together with him. **“Speaking of which, any news?”**

**“News?”** He asks dumbfounded. 

**“You know what I’m talking about. Don’t try to avoid the topic.”**

**“I am not. I’m not Kwon Soonyoung who just asked me about Joshua hyung so he could avoid further questions on the Jihoon topic.”** His sarcasm so evident that makes me want to pinch his arm so he could stop. 

**“I will pretend not having heard any of it,”** I say through gritted teeth but still with a smile on my face even though he can’t see me. I know he will understand nonetheless. **“So?”**

**“We text more than we used to but it’s nothing special.”**

**“It’s a good start, though. Little by little, things will go further and reach the point you’ll, finally, be my brother-in-law!”** I fanboy over the idea of the two getting together. 

**“First of all, Joshua and you aren’t really brothers so I cannot be one of your in-laws. Second, stop talking gibberish. Joshua doesn’t like me.”**

**“If you say so, soon-to-be brother-in-law.”** I can’t help but tease him. 

**“Stop it.”**

**“Make me.”**

**“What should I do with you?”** I bet he’s rubbing his face in frustration. I would do the same if I were him. 

**“You can do nothing but bear with me.”**

**“It’s been five years since I’ve put up with you and your dumbass brain.”**

**“Ya! Shouldn’t you say _‘What do you mean? You’re an angel and I’m really lucky to have such a good friend’_ or things like that?”** I ask, pretending to be offended. 

**“Oh, no. I really shouldn’t.”** His tone serious even though he’s joking. **“You already think too highly of yourself and I’m not going to fuel that ego of yours.”**

**“Ouch. That hurt.”** I clutch my chest, crumples appearing on the area of the shirt I held on to. 

We laugh and keep on chatting, about our club and if we should make a new corner in our show, for a while. Then Seokmin has to hang up because his mother was about to burst into his room as his son didn’t hear her shouting multiple times that dinner was ready. By the time we hang up, my hair is fully dried so I get up from the armchair I’ve been sitting on and go downstairs to watch the tv while waiting for my parents to come back home. 

When they do arrive, I help my mom making dinner. I told her I hadn’t started cooking yet because I thought Joshua hyung would’ve joined us. However, hyung sent me a text a couple of minutes before they’d arrive telling me he would come after dinner as Mingyu’s parents insisted for them to eat something before leaving. 

My parents and I eat in the living room while watching a rerun episode of  _ “Knowing Brothers” _ and, when we’re done, I tell my mom not to worry about washing the dishes as I’ll do it while waiting for Joshua. They should enjoy their time lazing on the sofa while they still can. Soon, they’ll have to shoo away because the room will be in Joshua and I’s hands. Mom puffs her cheeks in protest but then complies with it and joins dad who’s already laying on the couch. 

Being alone in the kitchen and hearing nothing but the faint voices and waves of laughter coming from the tv, leaves too much room for unwanted thoughts in my head. They’re all about a certain someone and I need to make them go away. That’s why I grab the first pair of earphones I find on one of the counters, probably dad’s ones, plug them to my phone and blast all the rock songs I have on my stop-thinking-playlist. They’re always the best remedy against thinking as the sound of the guitars and the drums fill your brain, making it impossible for you to focus on something that’s not the song you’re currently listening to. 

As I was humming and riding the rhythm, I suddenly feel a hand grabbing my shoulder.   
I jump and turn around, swinging the pan I was about to dry almost like a weapon.  
Luckily, Joshua ducks and avoids being hit. He is now looking at me, fear in his eyes and hands thrown in the air to show he’s surrendering. 

**“You scared me!”** I yell, clutching my chest and putting the pan in the sink to take the earphones off. 

**“And you almost hit me with that pan!”** He yells back, pointing his index at the sink. 

**“I didn’t want to hit you! I was just rinsing it, see?”** I move a bit on the side so he can see the pan and some other dishes waiting to be rinsed and dried.

**“If I hadn’t moved, you would’ve hit me!”** He is embracing himself, still scared for his life.

**“Then why do you have to give me such heart attacks?!”**

**“I wanted to prank you but, next time, I’ll be sure not to do it. You could be swinging a knife at me, who knows.”** Joshua shudders at the thought. 

**“Right! Don’t do it ever again! I really think that 10 years are gone from my lifespan!”** I shake my head and turn around to focus again on the dishes that need to be cleaned. **“How long have you been here?”**

**“It’s been ten minutes?! I was in the other room talking to your parents.”**

**“I didn’t hear the doorbell.”**

**“You were too busy singing and dancing, how could’ve you heard me?”** Joshua leans on the counter next to the sink, giving his judging look. 

**“I wasn’t singing, I was humming,”** I precise, glancing at him with the corner of my eye. 

**“Trust me, you weren’t humming. I think you took a note so high that could be heard from my house.”** I see him turning away not to laugh in my face, covering his mouth with a hand. 

**“Are you for real?”**

**“Ask your parents if you don’t believe me.”** He’s now looking at me again, arms crossed over his chest. 

**“Fuck! I won’t be using earphones next time.”**

He laughs and shakes his head. **“Are you done with the dishes?”**

**“Almost. I need to dry the last things.”**

**“C’mon, I’ll help you,”** Joshua says as he takes another towel from one of the drawers of the counter he has been leaning on and we dry the remaining plates and cutlery. 

However, not too long after, they’re dirty again as Joshua begged me to make him a hot chocolate because he was suddenly craving it. When two cups of the steamy drink are ready, we go to the living room where our parents wish us a good night before heading to their bedroom. They tell us not to be too loud and to sleep early: the day after is a weekday and we still need to go to school. We promise we’ll behave, that we’ll just chat a bit and then we’ll sleep. Satisfied by our response, my parents leave and we settle on the couch. 

**“Hot chocolate and warm blankets. Is this heaven?”** Joshua asks after taking a sip from his cup. 

**“Not yet. You can say it’s really heaven when you add a movie marathon or a new drama to all of this.”**

**“True but you heard your parents, we’re not allowed to do that tonight. Plus, I think I am so tired that I would pass out after only five minutes into the movie. I wouldn’t even go past the opening titles.”** He rubs his eyes, sleep making his eyelids heavy. 

**“To tell you the truth, I’m tired too.”** I try to cover myself better with the blanket, which I now realise is too short for my body but it was of the perfect length the moment it was used on Jihoon. **“Did you have a tough practice round today?”**

**“Actually, no. We wasted time because of Jihoon.”**

**“How come?”**

**“He was late, as always, and we wasted even more time when he explained the reason why.”** Joshua’s tone is a resigned one. He sighs before taking another sip of chocolate. 

**“You look sad. Is it because of what happened to him?”** I already know what he’s talking about and Seokmin said that he would be affected by it but I hoped it wasn’t the case, that he isn’t sad because of the newly-born couple. 

**“Somewhat?”** His reply coming off more as a question than a statement.

**“What did he tell you?”**

**“It’s nothing to be worried about, really.”** Joshua takes a pause, his internal conflict on whether telling me or not evident in his expression. **“Basically, he made it official that he’s dating Chanyeol. He said he picked interest in him since the day they went around school when he first arrived. They had been texting a lot and, sometimes, went on friendly dates that apparently will soon become real dates. You know, today, Chanyeol brought him in the schoolyard and…”**

**“He kissed him,”** I finish for him as he seemed like he was struggling to finish his story. 

**“Yeah...wait. How do you know that?”**

**“I saw them.”** I shift my gaze down, playing with the hem of the blanket. 

**“What? How? When?”**

**“Remember that I had to go back to school because I left my phone there?”** I wait for Joshua to nod before continuing. **“I went to the courtyard to tell the janitor I was about to leave as I found the phone and I saw them kissing.”**

**“Oh. Why didn’t you tell me right away?”** He asks and I can feel his eyes on me, trying to study me. 

**“As you said, it’s nothing big. Plus, I wanted to make it a topic for our gossip section while drinking our chocolate.”** I look at him again, smiling and raising my half-empty cup. **“But why are you sad? Isn’t it good that he has a boyfriend now?”**

**“Soons!”** He yells and glares at me. **“We know that Chanyeol isn’t a good guy! Even I am aware of what kind of person he is and what happened last year with Baekhyun!”** He ruffs his hair in frustration. **“He will make Jihoon feel like he’s on cloud nine and then push him down just to laugh at him falling,”** he says, eyes losing focus while staring at the content of his cup and thinking of something only he knows about. **“Jihoon may not want to get up again after that fall.”**

**“C’mon! I don’t think he is that weak!”** I get up to go sitting next to Joshua. **“He doesn’t look like someone who can easily get hurt.”**

Joshua sighs, puts his cup on the coffee table and takes my hands in his. **“Look, he may look like he’s tough, but he’s a softie. If he gets too attached to him, it’s the end. He would end up being scarred once again in his life and he doesn’t need that.”** The grip on my hands slightly tightens. **“Plus, Chanyeol is not his type and we know that.”** His evil smirk making an unwanted comeback. 

**“Who better than Jihoon knows who can be his type? Maybe Chanyeol fits his idea of a perfect partner.”**

**“I can’t agree with that. I strongly believe Jihoon needs someone like you.”** He stops talking to take in my reaction, a reaction that never comes and that’s why he adds, **“To be honest, I hoped that you two could become something more than friends, reason why I am sad at the news.”**

**“There isn’t any kind of chemistry between us that could lead to becoming something more than friends. If that was the case, he wouldn’t have gotten together with the first person who flirted with him. Maybe he likes being used and thrown away. Maybe it will be him the one to use Chanyeol and throw him away in the end. Maybe y’all are worrying too much.”**

**“Hey, Soons, lower your voice! Your parents said not to be loud!”** Joshua whisper-shouts, slapping my arm to make me shut up. 

I hadn’t realised I was raising my voice. 

I run a hand through my hair in frustration as this whole thing is making me lose control over my body and actions. Why does everyone believe there could be something between me and that knob? I hate him and he hates me, this is the only thing going on with us and I think it’s pretty obvious! 

**“I’m sorry.”**

**“Tell me, how did those two end up together?”** Joshua scoots closer and gives me his ear to attentively hear what I was going to say. 

**“When he was transferred to our school, the teacher said that to get Jihoon used to the environment, he should’ve toured our school to see the different classrooms and the club activities that take place inside of them.”**

**“And she sent him with Chanyeol?!”**

**“Actually, no. In the first place, she told me to go with Jihoon, you know, because you told her we already knew each other. I didn’t want to and that’s why I asked Chanyeol to accompany him.”** The last part almost whispered as if it could prevent Joshua hyung from hearing it.

But that isn’t the case. 

**“What the actual fuck? Why didn’t you go with him? You two were already friends!”** He whisper-shouts again. 

**“Because I can’t stand him, hyung.”** The words leaving my mouth before I could even try to stop them. 

Both Joshua and I freeze. **“What?”**

_ ‘Oh, God. I told him. Fuck my big mouth. It slipped out. I didn’t mean to tell him that way but it’s better if he knows, right?’ _

**“I can’t stand him. He’s cocky, rude, annoying and a knob!”**

**“That’s not true! He’s the opposite of that!”** Joshua defends him. 

**“With me, he’s like that.”** I shift on the couch so I can face him. **“Do you remember when I told you that I bumped into a rude guy after the first day of school and we soon got on each other’s nerves?”**

Joshua hyung nods. 

**“Well, I kept bumping into him for three days straight. At the dinner with the band, on that weekend, I found out that the boy was actually Jihoon. In the first place, I thought he hadn’t recognised me, but I was wrong. While we were washing the dishes, he said he remembered me but he didn’t want to fight just because it could’ve disappointed you. As we both love you as our hyung, we tried our best not to fight in front of you or any of the guys.”**

The pieces in Joshua’s mind seems to all connect now as he asks me, **“That’s why you didn’t want to be left alone with him? Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”**

**“You were so happy about us getting along and I didn’t want to crush the smile you used to have on your face when we were together.”**

**“But it’s not the end of the world if you don’t like someone. We’re human and it’s normal not to particularly like someone.”** He smiles as he ruffles my hair in the same way a parent would do with their toddlers when making them learn a new lesson about life. 

**“So, you’re not mad?”**

**“I am not. But you have to promise me something.”** Pinky finger already sticking out to seal the promise. 

**“What?”**

**“Promise me that you’ll try to get to know him. I assure you he’s not the person you describe. Don’t judge him too soon. Sometimes, he can act like a complete dick but it’s his method to shield himself from people’s wickedness. He had been let down so many times by the ones he loved that he now tries to put the tough and cold-hearted façade in order to protect his heart.”**

I lift my hand and lock Joshua’s pinky with mine, my heart softened by the sadness in his eyes and smile as he told about the smaller. **“Okay, I will try. But remember that I’m doing it just because I care about you, hyung.”**

**“I know and I care about you, too. Now, let’s go to sleep. A new day is already about to start.”** Joshua pushes me away, afraid of getting emotional to the point of shedding some tears. 

**“Okay, okay!”** I faintly chuckle as I go to my couch and bring my blanket up to my chin. **“Goodnight, hyung.”**

**“Good night, Soons.”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I'm finally back!!! I admit that I missed writing this story during these days I was away!  
> I hope you liked the chapter and are ready to suffer a bit in the future because of what these two idiots are going to do. 
> 
> Next week, I'll try to post both another chapter and write the new one-shot!  
> Stay tuned!!


	17. Chapter 17

The night goes by without any kind of disturbances. No dreams, no nightmares at all and, thanks to that, I wake up feeling pretty rested and energised for the day.

_‘I will surprise hyung by making some pancakes!’_

As I was preparing the batter, ingredients scattered all over the kitchen counter, Joshua’s phone rings. The ringtone is echoing in the whole living room and kitchen too. I run to answer so he can rest a bit more and, to be fast, I end up picking up the call without checking the caller’s ID.

**“Hello?”**

**“Hello? Soonyoung?”** Says the last person I would like to talk to first thing in the morning. 

**“Jihoon?”**

**“Yes, it’s me.”** Jihoon takes a pause, maybe to check if he had dialled the right number. When he confirmed that it was indeed the right one, he asks **“Why are you the one answering to Joshua hyung’s phone?”**

**“He spent the night here and he is still asleep.”**

**“Oh.”** A short answer that sounded like he wanted to say more but decided not to. 

**“Do I need to wake him up?”**

**“No, I just had something to tell him.”**

**“Can’t you say it to me?”** I ask as I keep mixing the batter, phone locked between my shoulder and ear. 

**“Mind your own business. Just tell him I called when he wakes up.”** Here it is, the ~~bright~~ brat side of him.

**“Why should I if you told me to mind my own business?”** I scoop part of the batter with the ladle and pour it in the already hot pan.

**“Because I need to talk to him and because it’s his phone and you answered without his permission.”**

**“Blah, blah, blah. I’ll hang up or the pancakes I’m making will burn.”**

**“Wa-”**

Jihoon hasn’t the time to come back at me as I hang up on him right away. I can picture him cursing at me on the other side of the phone and the idea of upsetting him making me smile. It is indeed a good day.

**“Who were you talking to?”** Joshua inquires as he walks in the room, making me jump a little at his sudden appearance.

**“Oh, you’re already up?”** I flash him a smile while flipping a pancake. **“It was Jihoon.”**

**“The smell of the pancakes woke me up.”** He sniffs the air and takes in the aroma of the freshly baked pancakes. **“What did that brat want from me at seven in the morning?”** Chuckles come out from him showing the fondness hidden behind his words.

**“He said it wasn’t my business, so if you’re dying to know the reason why he was looking for you, you should call him.”** I put the plate with Joshua’s breakfast in front of him and he beams at the sight.

**“I’ll do it after changing clothes.”** He rubs his hands together and then proceeds in taking the fork and the knife placed next to the plate. **“Now, I want to eat these delicious pancakes! I’m starving.”**

**“You’re complimenting and not complaining about my cooking skills? Hyung, is it really you?”**

**“Ya! I’ve never missed a chance to compliment you for your pancakes!”**

**“In all modesty, it’s the thing I can cook the best.”**

Joshua suddenly makes a loud noise, making me almost drop the plate with my breakfast. **“Wrong. It’s the only thing you can cook.”**

**“That’s not true!”** I bring a cup of freshly brewed coffee for hyung and one of milk for me. Joshua holds his in between his hands for a while, enjoying its warmth.

**“C’mon! I’m joking!”** I know he’s just messing with me but, still, glare at him and threaten to take his dish away from him.

We keep on eating, the chirping of the birds and the cars passing by are the only sounds that prevent the room to be fully silent. When Joshua’s done with his portion of pancakes, he goes to the bathroom to wash up and get changed while I do the dishes.  
As I made too much batter and, therefore, too many pancakes, I pack the leftovers. I’ll bring them to school and share them at lunch together with Seokmin and Joshua hyung.

Once Joshua is ready, we head to school.   
The sky is blue and the sun still shines bright but it’s not that hot anymore. A light breeze blows from time to time, making the weather a bit chilly. After all, autumn is about to come and I can’t wait for it.  
I love admiring the vibrant colours of the leaves which, one by one, leave the tree to lean and rest on the soil. It’s a meeting happening only once every year. The one between the leaves and the ground I mean. I don’t know why but it has a melancholic note to it. Think about it: they leave the tree on which they were born in spring and grew up in summer only to fall and meet the ground in autumn and die with it during the cold and long winter.  
It’s sad but somewhat romantic.

**“Soonyoung?”** Joshua makes me snap out of it. **“What are you thinking about?”**

**“Have you called Jihoon back?”** I opt to ask not wanting to share my thought as I’m one hundred per cent sure he will mock me. 

**“Yes and, honestly, it wasn’t a big deal. He could’ve sent a text or even made you deliver it to me.”**

**“What did he say?”** Feeling both of my arms a bit sore, I stretch them forwards.

**“That today there won’t be any practice because Mingyu’s not home.”** He kicks a pebble found on the pavement before saying, **“I guess you two don’t get along for real.”**

**“Yeah.”** A bitter chuckle comes from both of us. **“Ah, hyung, if you have some spare time today, why don’t we go to the mall? It’s been ages since we went there together!”**

**“Sounds good to me!”**

**“Yes!”** I pump a fist in the air, happy about spending time some more time with my best friends. **“I’ll tell Seok later!”**

**“We’ll go with my car.”**

**“Then, it’s better if we stay home.”**

**“Why?”** Joshua wears a puzzled expression on his face.

**“With your driving skills, It will take the whole day for us to get there, you slow snail!”** I hold up a finger in his direction.

Joshua grabs my finger. **“You’re a dumbass!”** He twists the finger and I give a yell that surely woke up the entire neighbourhood. I rub my poor finger in pain and he enjoys watching me suffer. **“Today, my shift ends early.”**

**“How come?”**

**“I covered Taehyung’s shift a while ago and he said he wants to pay me back for that favour, hence, I can go home early. This means I can relax a bit while waiting for you two to get ready. I’ll pick you up at six so we can go picking up Seokmin too.”**

**“Hyung, please tell one of the boys to tag along. Maybe...Wonwoo hyung?”**

**“Why?”**

**“Because if left alone with you two, I’ll end up third wheeling,”** I whine.

**“You keep being a dumbass, don’t you?”** Joshua glares at me, eyes threatening to kill me.

I stick my tongue out and make faces at him only to run away so that Joshua can’t catch me and teach me a lesson like he’s shouting to do.

When we arrive at school, Jihoon is waiting for us at the gates. He looks a bit confused as he sees us panting and trying to catch our breaths.  
Joshua greets him with a smile and a high-five while I just nod my head to show that I have, at least, acknowledged his presence. The three of us reach the door and I turn to Joshua hyung to high-five him.

**“Have a good day! We’ll see at lunch!”**

**“You too, have a good day.”** Joshua is about to walk away but then he turns around. **“Don’t sleep in class!”**

I roll my eyes and don’t even answer him as I enter the school. I walk down the hall with Jihoon trailing behind and it’s a bit more uncomfortable than it usually is. He hasn’t said a word and this isn’t like him because, after parting ways with Joshua, he would pester me about how great things are in here since he has so many _“fans”_. However, things are different today. I can feel it in the air and also in the way Chanyeol is waiting for him at the end of the staircase we take to reach the first floor where our class is. When Jihoon is close enough to notice him, he smiles and puts his arm over the shorter’s shoulders.

He’s marking his territory.

He wants people to know that Jihoon doesn’t need a crowd buzzing around him anymore.

He’s now taken, he’s _off-limits_.

I roll my eyes at Chanyeol’s childish behaviour and I fasten my pace.  
I walk in the classroom and stop by Seokmin’s desk to greet him before taking my place. The couple stays a little while longer in the hallways and they come in only when the bell rings, reaching their respective seats: Chanyeol behind Seokmin and Jihoon next to me.

Before Jihoon got transferred here, Seokmin was the one sitting next to me. Then Joshua had to tell the teacher that this knob right here and I are friends and so they thought it was a great idea to let us share the desk. Seokmin and I used to talk on notes but, now, talking to him is impossible. We need to wait for the little break in between periods or lunchtime.

Nowadays, the only papers I receive are those from Jihoon, like the one landing on my notepad just now.

_**Hey, Soonyoung.** _

_**What?** _

_**Don’t be like that.** _

_**I can be like whatever I want.** _

_**Rude.** _

_**I know.** _

_**What were you thinking about?** _

_**Why should I tell you?** _

_**Because this literature class is getting boring.  
I can’t do anything else but talk to you. ** _

_**I was thinking about the good old times when Seokmin was next to me.** _

_**I am offended.  
** **I’m not good enough as your seat buddy?** _

_**You know I can’t stand you.** _

_**The same goes for me.** _

_**We can’t change.** _

_**Yes, we can.** _

_**No, we can’t.  
The teacher won’t allow us. ** _

_**What?** _

_**If we could’ve changed our seats, now I would be sitting next to my best friend.  
** **You could be sitting right in front of your boyfriend.** _

The moment Jihoon is about to read what I’ve written, I realise the mistake I’ve made. I am so impulsive for fuck’s sake. I have opened some metaphorical gates for a conversation I didn’t want to have with him. I hate being like this, unable to control my mind and body. It leads me to some unpleasant situations.

_**How do you know it?** _

_**Joshua hyung told me.** _   
_**Plus, this morning, Chanyeol draped his arm over you and you even walked in class like that.** _   
_**Did you really think that no one would’ve noticed?** _

_**Right.  
Tell me, what do you think about him? ** _

_**I don’t think you need my opinion on him.  
** **You’re the one who likes him, I don’t have to like him.** _

_**You’re so rude it’s frustrating.** _   
_**One tries to have a normal conversation with you and look at how you reply.** _   
_**It’s impossible.** _

_**And you still don’t give up on me.** _   
_**Don’t expect a reward for this.** _   
_**You’re annoying.** _   
_**Now, let me focus.** _

_**No, I’ll keep writing to annoy you.** _

_**Lucky me, it’s lunch break in a while.** _

_**Do you only think about food?** _

_**What else should I think about?** _

_**Me.** _

_**Let your boyfriend think about you.** _   
_**Right now, he’s looking at you and he’s drooling.** _   
_**In a while, his eyes will shoot lasers at me and I don’t want to deal with that.** _   
_**Stop this, please.** _

Jihoon sucks it up and doesn’t reply. With the corner of my eyes, I see him turning to look at Chanyeol who smiles at him and waves as if to check if his puppy is still loyal to him. I shake my head and try focusing on the last fifteen minutes of this class but I how can I understand a thing since I haven’t followed anything up until now? And it’s all Jihoon’s fault.  
The bell rings and, after the teacher leaves the classroom, I rush to Seokmin, grab him by the wrist and basically drag him at the canteen. We load our trays with food and join Joshua who’s already eating, not waiting for us.

**“You were fast today,”** Joshua says as he pats the chair next to him. 

**“Soonyoung dragged me out of the class.”** Seokmin whines and sits right next to Joshua.

**“I was starving and didn’t want to waste too much time queueing.”**

**“Starving?”** Joshua scoffs and points his finger at me. **“You ate 5 pancakes at breakfast!”**

**“Not enough to fill up this stomach of mine.”** I proudly pat my belly which, on cue, rumbles in answer. 

**“Where’s Jihoon?”** Joshua asks, looking around to find his friend.

**“I don’t know. He was still in class when we came here.”** Seokmin replies between a mouthful of food and another.

**“Do you think he will eat with Chanyeol?”**

**“He did it when they weren’t dating and I think he now has more reason to eat with him,”** I chirp in their conversation about Jihoon.

**“You’re wrong,”** says someone coming out of nowhere.

Shocked, I freeze with the spoon full of rice midair.   
Jihoon is standing right behind me with a smug face I wish I could punch away with my fist.  
He puts his tray on the table and seats at the head of it, between Joshua and me.

**“Why are you not with him?”** Seokmin asks, not caring of the fact he might come off rude.

**“I know that, lately, hyung was disappointed because I wasn’t eating with you anymore. So I came here.”** He eats a bit of his rice and subtly winks at me. He then looks at Joshua. **“If Chanyeol wants to eat with me, he’s welcome at our table. Am I right, hyung?”**

**“Yes, you are! What a good dongsaeng I have!”** Joshua keeps saying things as he picks food from his tray to put it in Jihoon’s one. **“This hyung is proud of you. Eat a lot.”**

**“Since when I’m a good dongsaeng of yours?”** Jihoon sarcastically asks.

**“Since now, you little brat!”**

We all burst out laughing the moment Joshua blocks Jihoon in an armlock and ruffles his hair while the latter whines about not being a brat and begs of being let go. 

When we finish our lunch, I take out the Tupperware with the leftover pancakes. Jihoon doesn’t even wait for me to put them down and grabs one to wolf down it.

**“Hey! I didn’t say that you could eat them.”** I hit his hand the moment he is about to grab another one.

**“I don’t want this one at the top. It’s a bit burnt.”** He winks at me and eventually takes the top one.

**“Oh, then I should’ve hung up on you a little bit sooner.”** I attack him with sarcasm and a wink.

Jihoon almost chokes on the pancake and tries to hide his shocked expression. I’m confused by his reaction until I realised I haven’t told him that Joshua knows the truth. Maybe he’s thinking that I’m insane and about to screw up our plan. Joshua senses that something’s wrong and tries changing the topic.

**“Soons, did you tell Seokmin about this afternoon?”**

I look away from Jihoon and start playing with the few grains of rice left in the tray. **“No, I was about to, though.”**

**“What?”** Seokmin looks between Joshua and me, almost worried about our next words.

**“Joshua hyung and I decided to hang out today. You know, going to the mall and stuff like that.”** I glance at Jihoon who suddenly looks interested in the conversation. **“They don’t have to practice and, to us, it sounded like a plan. What do you think about it?”**

**“It’s a great idea!”** Seokmin smiles and claps like a seal. **“It’s been a while since we spent some quality time together.”**

**“Great! We’ll pick you up at around six, so you’ll have enough time to get ready,”** Joshua gently says as he pats Seokmin on the shoulder.

**“Perfect.”**

**“Oh, right. Soonyoung, I texted Wonwoo and he said he’ll come.”** Joshua’s words are for me but he’s looking at Jihoon, studying his expression.

**“Wonwoo hyung?”** Jihoon asks and his voice goes an octave up.

**“Yes,”** Hyung smirks satisfied and then looks at me. **“He said he hadn’t anything scheduled for the day and he can come with us.”** He grabs a pancake and tears a piece of it to hand it to the shorter. **“Jihoon, do you want to tag along, too?”**

I glare at Joshua, wishing that looks could really kill. He knows now, so why keep forcing us to be in the same space when we don’t want to?

**“No, don’t worry. I have to hang out with Chanyeol, anyway.”** Jihoon hangs his head and plays with the end of his tie, probably disappointed because he can’t join us.

At that moment, our lunch break ends so we have to say goodbye to Joshua and go back to the class for the next period.

Jihoon is lost in his thoughts for a while and doesn’t pass any note nor looks at me until the last period comes.  
Then, as if by magic, a scribbled paper appears on my side of the desk. I roll my eyes and pray not to be annoyed.

_**Are you crazy?** _

_**What do you mean?** _

_**A while ago, at the canteen.** _

_**A while ago, at the canteen, what?  
** **Please, define this.** _

_**When you said you had hung up on me.  
There was Joshua with us.** _

_**Oh, that.** _   
_**What’s the problem with that?** _   
_**Joshua hyung knows we hate each other.** _

_**Excuse me?! Since when?!** _

_**Yesterday night.** _

_**How did you end up talking about that?  
** **How did he react?** _

_**We were talking about this and that and it slipped out that I don’t really like you.  
At first, he was shocked but then he said it happens not to like someone. ** _

Half truth.  
I can’t tell him I yelled that I can’t stand him while we were talking about Chanyeol and him getting together. I can’t even tell him about the promise of getting to know him better.

_**I see.** _

_**You can stop pretending to be cute and kind in front of him and the others from today on.** _

_**Am I cute?** _

**_You’re a little shit, that’s what you are._ **

_**C’mon you can say it.  
** **I know you have a soft spot for me.** _

_**No fucking way.** _   
_**There’s no soft spot for you, not even a hard one.** _   
_**There’s no spot for you at all.** _   
_**Plus, you need to stop acting this way.** _   
_**Your boyfriend might misunderstand.** _

_**But I’m bored.** _

_**Be bored without writing things to me.** _

_**So you’ll go to the mall later?** _

_**Oh my God.  
** **Are you even ignoring what I say now?** _

_**You repeat the same things so they do not affect me anymore.  
So, you’re going? ** _

_**You were with us when we talked about it, an answer to that question is useless.** _

_**Still, you could be kind with your answers.** _

_**Again, no use in doing that.  
** **Anyway, to quote you,** _ **‘mind your own business’** _**.** _

_**I will.  
Like, I will have a lot of fun while hanging out with Chanyeol. ** _

_**Good for you.** _   
_**Have fun.** _   
_**Now, leave me alone.** _

Jihoon answers and I see the piece of paper being pushed towards my side but I ignore it. I have dealt enough with him today and the only thing I want to think about is how to dress to impress Wonwoo hyung and the things we will do together at the mall. Will we be left alone for a while? Will I end up spending time with Seokmin while Wonwoo and Joshua will talk about the band? Who knows.

As I mentally decide the outfit to wear, the last bell rings. Seokmin and I bolt out of the classroom and part ways when we reach the gates, excited about the afternoon and the night awaiting ahead of us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is it for this week! What do you think about these two? Are they really enemies or are they just too stubborn to notice things? Who knows!
> 
> However, I can't wait to write the next chapter! There will be a scene I particularly like and I want to show it to y'all! 
> 
> PS: The other soonhoon one-shot I was talking about became a whole interactive au on Twitter! It's a collaboration with a dear mutual of mine born from our habit of writing short stories on the spot in the voborabopabo groupchat we have on Twitter. The story is called "Meet my eyes" and it's about Soonhoon being roommates at college and Jihoon avoids Soonyoung and the latter thinks it's because he hates him. I'll leave the link to it here
>
>> [𝙢𝙚𝙚𝙩 𝙢𝙮 𝙚𝙮𝙚𝙨]  
>    
>  In which Soonyoung and Jihoon are roommates in University. However, Jihoon makes the best excuses to avoid being left alone with him and Soonyoung swears it's because he hates him. But why? Why won't Jihoon look at him in the eyes?[#soonhoon](https://twitter.com/hashtag/soonhoon?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw) [#howoo](https://twitter.com/hashtag/howoo?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw) [pic.twitter.com/8HBKQVHxdK](https://t.co/8HBKQVHxdK)
>> 
>> — Ylene (@angstylene) [March 17, 2019](https://twitter.com/angstylene/status/1107219088776937473?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw)
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the chapter!! As always, thank you for reading it!! <3


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you start reading, I'll leave here the [**playlist**](https://youtu.be/JzHOnGvf3B4)  
>  I listened to while writing the chapter and Chet Baker's [**song**](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zrSoHgAAWo)  
>  If you want, you can listen to them to get in the mood.  
> See ya at the end notes ;)

**_Jihoon’s point of view_ **

_‘Soonyoung will go to the mall later and Wonwoo will be with him. I wonder what they will do together.’_

I stop in my tracks to kick a pebble. The shot is hard and it flies away, disappearing in the grass of someone’s yard. I keep on walking and thinking, not really focusing on where I am going.

I don’t know why but hearing that they will spend the afternoon together makes me feel a bit uneasy.

I’ve met Soonyoung a month ago and since then, we’ve been at each other’s throat. He’s the most upsetting person I had ever met in my eighteen years of life but I have to admit I quite enjoy annoying him too. He’s like the only person who reacts that way to my teasing methods and it’s amusing seeing him getting all worked up and fuming because he would very much like to punch me in the face but he can’t. It would make him look bad in front of the others.  
However, since the moment we started pretending to get along for Joshua’s sake, something in me changed. I discovered a side of him I didn’t expect to see. He is usually rude and sarcastic with me but with his friends, he’s the opposite of that. He looks funny when he reenacts drama scenes with Seokmin. He cares about the others, like when he has to get ready to record his radio show and helps the other students in arranging the equipment and the cue sheets so they won’t get too tired. He is sweet when he brings food for Joshua and acts silly to make the elder smile after a busy day at work or when he feels a bit down.  
All of the things he does make me want to stay by his side and see if I’m able to change his mind, if I can get on his good side and receive the same kind of attention.

You, who are reading this, are surely asking yourself: _“Why are you with Chanyeol if you’re slowly gravitating towards Soonyoung?”_

Well, I like Chanyeol and there’s no reason for me to call it into question. He reflects the type of person I had always wanted as my partner, as my boyfriend.  
I’ve never been interested in looks or money, I’ve only wanted to find someone who can touch my heart with their actions, their words and the way they make me feel when I’m with them.  
Chanyeol loves music just like I do and his songs really reach out to my heart. As tall and scary he can seem, he’s actually a softie who likes cheesy and sappy things. He treats me as if I’m the only one for him, as if my heart is his most precious belonging and it needs lots of care and attention. Whenever I see him, I feel giddy and in want of stopping time or impressing every moment with him inside of my memory. When he’s by my side, I feel like I can be myself, showing parts of me I’m afraid of showing the others.

It’s also true, though, that I’ve been picking interest in Soonyoung. It’s not love though, I’m quite sure of it. I’m just interested in this weird dog-and-cat dynamic going on between us that keeps me attracting to him. Again, no feelings involved so I can’t figure out why it bothers me that, later, he’s going out with Wonwoo. 

As I stop thinking for a moment, I realise my feet have brought me to the park near our neighbourhood. At the centre, there’s a small playground but there are no kids playing around as the weather has become more chilly, especially during the late hours of the day. When it’s morning, the sun shines brightly over the area, warming it up. Now, it’s five in the afternoon and the sun is almost setting, disappearing behind the tree canopy.

The air chilled, making me shiver a bit as I walk towards the swing to sit on it.

I close my eyes and throw my head back, lightly moving the swing to lull myself and taking in the smell of the leaves carried by the wind. I was deep inside of the moment, basking in the quietness of my surroundings when my phone repeatedly vibrates against my thigh.  
It’s a call and it’s Wonwoo hyung.

**“Oh, hyung.”**

**“Where are you? I kind of need your help.”** His voice a bit frantic.

**“I was about to go home, why? Do I need to come over?”** I ask a bit worried. It’s not every day that Wonwoo hyung calls instead of sending a text. It must be an urgent matter.

**“There’s no need for that. It’s embarrassing, though.”** I’m pretty sure he’s rubbing his temples now, trying to find the right words to tell me what he needs me for. **“Please listen to me and don’t laugh, okay?”**

**“I can’t promise you,”** I tease him to cheer him up.

**“Little shit.”** Wonwoo snickers.

**“I get that a lot.”**

**“Okay.”** I can hear him taking a deep breath before he drops what I thought was a bomb. **“So, later, I’ll go to the mall and Soonyoung will be there too. What should I wear?”**

**“Jeon Wonwoo, is it really you?”** I move the phone from my ear to the front of my face to jokingly check again the caller’s ID. **“Okay, it’s you but have you really called me asking for fashion advice? You know that Mingyu is more helpful as his knowledge of fashion and clothes is better than mine.”**

**“I fucking know it but you’re the only one I can trust with this.”**

**“Eh?”** I’m confused. How am I the only one he can trust?

**“Look, you’re the last person I should reach out to ask for tips about what to wear for a not-really-a-date but you’re the one who will tease me the less about this.”** He whines. Wonwoo is whining and this alone is enough to shock me.

**“What makes you think that I won’t tease you?”**

**“In fact, I didn’t say you won’t tease me. I said you won’t be as a dick like the others.”**

**“Can’t deny that.”**

**“So, please, help me pick a nice outfit. I want to impress him without being too much of a show-off.”**

I stop swinging for a second, closing my eyes and sighing. **“I can’t give you proper advice about what to wear but let me tell you something. Don’t try too much impressing him. Don’t wear something you know he will like but will make you feel uncomfortable. He has to like you for who you are and not for the person he wants you to be, okay?”**

There’s silence on the other line until Wonwoo decides to ruin the moment. **“Wow, Jihoon. I would’ve expected this kind of ment from Cheol hyung who won’t stop acting like he’s our father. I think you’re taking after him.”**

**“Shut up.”** I chortle. 

**“Manners, young man. I’m still your hyung,”** Wonwoo says but he’s laughing too. **“By the way, are you coming with us?”**

**“No, I’ll be with Chanyeol, my boyfriend.”**

**“I see. Well, I guess I’ll call you when I’m back home. I’ll tell you if your advice worked or if you need to be updated on how fashion and dates work nowadays.”**

I give him a sarcastic laugh. **“I will be waiting for your phone call. Good luck with your not-really-a-date!”**

**“Thanks! You go and have fun with your boyfriend, you sappy little shit.”**

He hangs up and I’m left alone again with my thoughts.

Wonwoo has a crush on Soonyoung since the night they met at Joshua’s house.

He is the type of guy everyone would fall for. He’s sweet and caring although he looks as cold as ice. He is romantic but also manly. He loves music and books and people tend to sway to his talks about his favourite books or albums, his low-toned voice drawing them in a kind of hypnosis they cannot snap out of. However, he’s introverted and doesn’t easily let people in. This is often mistaken as coldness, gaining him the title of the “Ice King” when he was still in high school. Back then, most of the guys were irritated by his blank expression, thinking he pulled it just to look cool in front of the others; the girls, on the other hand, were fascinated by it, betting among themselves who could’ve been the one able to melt his apparently frozen heart. Nevertheless, only a few people tried going past the shield he put as a front and got to see the real Jeon Wonwoo, the bright guy who likes to smile a lot.

He has a fragile heart, so I don’t know what to think of this situation.

If Soonyoung likes Wonwoo too then there should be no problem, right? Wonwoo would be happy about getting into a relationship with the guy he has been crushing on for a month. But what if Soonyoung doesn’t? Wonwoo would be crushed by yet another rejection. In the worst case scenario, he could shut himself in even more, wanting to not feel love anymore.

The more I think of it, the more there’s an unsettling feeling in my stomach. I try ignoring it, figuring out it’s better to stop mulling over and go back home to get changed.

I have a date, too.

I slowly walk on the path leading to my house and take my phone out to check the Instagram timeline. I scroll through it, without really focusing on the posts. In the end, it’s always the same things: love quotes, sad quotes, people travelling, people showing off they’re living life better than you.

That’s until I see a particular post.

**_“Vinyl Art”_ **

_Come trying our new retro-themed shop where you can choose your favourite music on vinyl and sip your favourite milkshake._  
_Every booth has its own gramophone and two pairs of headphones._  
_Ideal for dates with your significant other or to just dive in the good old days._

The post rings a bell in my head.  
What if I coax Chanyeol into hanging out at the mall? Maybe I’ll be lucky enough to meet them and see how Soonyoung acts around Wonwoo, if he’s interested in hyung or sees him as a friend. That way, I can also figure out what to do with Wonwoo hyung. Yes, it’s a good idea but the hardest part is going to be how to persuade Chanyeol.

I text him as soon as I get home.

**Woozy:**  
_Hey, Channie._

**Channie:**  
_Hey, Hoonie._

**Woozy:**  
_Why don’t we go to the mall later?_

**Channie:**  
_To the mall?  
Why? _

**Woozy:**  
_I don’t want to aimlessly walk around today.  
Plus, they inaugurated the new cafè called Vinyl Art.  
__We wanted to check it out once it opened, right?_

**Channie:**  
_Oh, yeah!  
It has already opened? _

**Woozy:**  
_Yup, I saw a post on Instagram._

**Channie:**  
_I really want to go, Hoonie._  
_But, how do we get there?_  
_We can’t drive and no one can drop us there._

**Woozy:**  
_We can take the bus._

**Channie:**  
_Uh?_

**Woozy:**  
_Didn’t you say you wanted to try the things actors do in dramas?  
Like sitting together on a bus, playing with each other’s hands while waiting to get to our destination. _

**Channie:**  
_You’re right.  
I really wanted to go for walk with you, however, I will agree under one condition. _

**Woozy:**  
_Whatever you want, Channie._

**Channie:**  
_That once in there, we’ll watch a movie and we’ll buy at least one couple item._

**Woozy:**  
_Couple item?_

**Channie:**  
_Yeah, like a scarf or a phone case.  
I think it’s sweet to have matching things and it helps in having people stay away from my man hahaha. _

**Woozy:**  
_Okay, we can do that._

**Channie:**  
_Yay!  
I’ll be waiting for you at the bus stop next to our school!  
__See you there in an hour!_

**Woozy:**  
_See you there, Channie._

I can’t believe what I just agreed to do.  
Was it really me texting or some ghost had just possessed my body for the past 10 minutes? A drama-like couple? Couple items? I must be crazy and for what? To keep an eye on Wonwoo hyung and Soonyoung.  
Something keeps bugging me to follow them and see what happens. It bothers me to the point I accepted doing cringy stuff I wouldn’t ever do if I was in my right mind. I like Chanyeol but that is too much for me. I already regret this decision but it’s too late now to back away.

  


It’s been an hour since we started wandering in the mall when we finally reach the Vinyl Art cafè and we sit down at a booth, milkshakes on the table and headphones plugged in to listen to _Chet Baker_ ’s _I Fall In Love Too Easily_.

We sip the drinks in silence, heads slowly swaying to the melody of the song and fingers tapping on the table or the glass to follow the tempo.

_I fall in love too easily,_  
_I fall in love too fast,_  
_I fall in love too terribly hard_  
_For love to everlast._

 _My heart should be well schooled_  
_‘Cause I’ve been fooled in the past._  
_But still, I fall in love too easily_  
_I fall in love too fast._

Chanyeol looks at me and shyly smiles upon hearing these words. The mellow solo with the saxophone plays as we lock our gazes and with the dim lights of the place, he looks amazing, almost breathtaking.

The solo comes to an end and the words replay.

_My heart should be well schooled_  
_‘Cause I’ve been fooled in the past._  
_But still, I fall in love too easily_  
_I fall in love too fast._

I’ve fallen too fast and easily for him.

It took not even a month to be completely drawn in him and it’s almost scary. Why? Because it’s scary how fast you can open up to someone out of love, how fast you can put your guard down so you can be loved, too. I did that with Chanyeol and that’s why we’re now, here, together and with loads of matching items to wear at school or on dates. I said that cheesy things like that are just too much for me but I found myself powerless, unable to say no to him and his puppy eyes. I couldn’t say no to the excited smile he wore on his face when he’d find something he liked.

I’ve fallen too fast and easily for him and maybe that’s why the lyrics sound a bit like a warning. To quote it, _“My heart should be well schooled, ‘cause I’ve been fooled in the past.”_ I’ve been fooled so many times by people who pretended to love me, to put me at the centre of their world only to let me down again and again. I had promised myself not to fall in love again, but here I am. Smitten for the man sitting before me.

But why does my mind keep on thinking about Soonyoung?

  
  
  
  
  


After the milkshakes are gone and a good thirty minutes are spent listening to various vinyl albums, we make our way to the movie theatre.

It’s when we’re almost there that, out of the corner of my eye, I see some familiar silhouettes. It’s Wonwoo hyung and he’s alone with Soonyoung.

_‘What about Joshua hyung and Seokmin? Where did they go? Why are those two alone?’_

Luckily, their backs are facing us so they still haven’t noticed us. Before they could, I grab Chanyeol’s wrist to drag him away.

However, I’m known for not being lucky and things never go the way I want them to. In fact, Wonwoo turns around and his eyes land straight on us. He then taps Soonyoung on the shoulder and he turns around too, a bit confused until he spots us. Confusion soon turning into shock and disbelief.

Wonwoo rapidly moves towards us, Soonyoung trailing behind him and looking annoyed, probably because this random meeting is going to take away some of his alone time with hyung.

**“Hyung!”** I call out, making few people turn to look at us.

**“Hey, Ji. What are you doing here?”** Wonwoo asks genuinely surprised.

**“Right, what are you doing here?”** Soonyoung crosses his arms over his chest.

**“Oh, Soonyoung. You’re here, too. I hadn’t seen you there.”** Sarcasm always there when I talk to him.

**“I should be the one saying that since _you_** **are the short one.”** That was a low blow from Soonyoung. A dirty low blow.

I ignore him and turn to Wonwoo, smiling at him. **“Wonwoo hyung, this is Chanyeol. He’s my boyfriend.”**

**“Nice to meet you.”** Wonwoo extends a hand for Chanyeol to grab it.

**“It’s my pleasure.”** Chanyeol bows first and then takes Wonwoo’s hand, shaking it. **“Jihoon told me a lot of things about you.”**

**“Really? Well, don’t say that in front of the others when you’ll meet them, but I am his favourite hyung.”** Wonwoo jumps on me and locks my head in an armlock, ruffling my hair.

**“You wish.”** I easily get out of his light grip.

“ **Well, why are you around here?”**

**“We came here to try the milkshake at the Vinyl Art and we bought some couple items,”** Chanyeol answers, showing the bags with the said items.

**“Are you for real?”** Soonyoung scoffs and looks between us. **“I can’t picture you two doing this kind of cheesy stuff.”**

**“Well, we are. After all, _we are a couple_** **, right Jihoon?”** Chanyeol drapes his arm over my shoulders, eyes never leaving Soonyoung’s.

**“I see that you’re marking your territory, aren’t you?”** Wonwoo chuckles at the scene unfolding in front of him.

**“Exactly.”** Chanyeol is chuckling, too. 

**“Since we’re all here, why don’t you come with us?”** Wonwoo smoothly changes the topic to break the tension arose because of Chanyeol and Soonyoung. **“We’ll eat some pizza when the other two will come back.”** He points with his thumb in a general direction, the one in which those two disappeared or the one where the pizzeria is.

**“No!”** Soonyoung and I answer in unison.

I scowl at Soonyoung and then say to Wonwoo, **“Don’t worry hyung. I promised Chanyeol to watch a movie with him and to eat sushi after that. You can go ahead.”**

**“Are you sure?”**

**“Never been this sure in my life.”** I flash him a reassuring smile.

**“Then, okay.”** Wonwoo turns his head to look at Soonyoung. **“Should we go, Soonie?”**

**“Let’s go, hyung.”**

**“Talk to you later, Jihoon. Have fun!”** Wonwoo waves at both of us.

**“You too, hyung.”** I lift my head to greet him.

While they’re walking away, Soonyoung hooks his arm around Wonwoo’s one.

_‘They’re already at that stage, uh?’_

As I watch their backs, the regret for not joining them for dinner knocks on my mind’s door. I could’ve closely observed them but I really want to keep the promise I made to Chanyeol. After all, Wonwoo will tell me everything when he’ll get home, right?

When the two are no longer in sight, I turn to Chanyeol and smile, taking him by the hand to walking in the theatre.

  


We watched the movie, ate loads of sushi accompanied by some good sake and the time to leave the mall comes. We take the bus again to get home. Instead of getting off at the stop near the school, we get off near Chanyeol’s house so I could keep him company to his house.

**“You didn’t have to walk me, I’m big enough to scare people off.”** Chanyeol suddenly says, pointing out the fact that he indeed is bigger and able to fight people if they tried to mess with him.

**“I wanted to be with you a little bit longer.”** I lower my head so he can’t see the blush creeping on my cheeks.

**“You’re so cheesy, do you know that?”**

**“Maybe?”** I look at him and we both laugh, shying away the second after. **“Well, see you tomorrow,”** I say when we reach his door.

**“See you tomorrow.”**

Chanyeol steals a quick peck from me and then opens the door to his house, waving before closing it behind him.

Now, I could take the bus again to reach my place, but I want to walk and clear my head which is still clouded by the alcohol drank not so long ago.

The streets are almost deserted, the only people passing by are couples, who are on a date, or students rushing to their dormitories before curfew. Everyone seems to be in haste. Maybe it’s because this day is fading into a new one as we’re going deeper in the night hours or maybe it’s because in the night breeze lingers the sweet scent of the rain. Considering how clouded is the sky, soon enough, there will be a downpour.

It doesn’t take long to arrive.

While the others seem frantic, running to reach their houses or somewhere they can shelter under, I walk unbothered by it, the slow pace of my feet not matching the fast one of my suddenly racing heart.

Walking in the rain had always been one of my favourite things since it feels like the raindrops take away all the dark thoughts, the doubts, the fears and, sometimes, they even wash away the worst of me.  
You come out of it, feeling cleaner, better, lighter even if this sensation lasts just for a while.

I love the rain also because it can help masking the sadness.  
There was a time I used to go out a lot on rainy days. When things became stuffy and frustrating, when I couldn’t hide any longer the things I held inside, I waited for a downpour like this so that I could let everything go, cry the pain out. There were few people who looked at me, a poor drenched boy, walking towards god-knows-where without an umbrella. However, none of them would notice the tears I was shedding as they were mistaken as simple raindrops streaming down my face.  
No one would’ve imagined how salty and heavy those _raindrops_ were.

Thinking about those times, makes me want to cry even though I don’t have a reason to. It’s just that my heart feels unexplainably tight at the moment and my mind, once again, goes to Soonyoung.

It’s inevitable.

As I said before, there’s something about him that pulls me towards him every time I try to turn my back and step away.  
Perhaps, it’s because of his slanted eyes shining so bright when he hears of things he likes or how his eyes disappear behind his puffy hamster-ish cheeks as he smiles. He keeps on throwing any kind of insult at me because of my endless teasing, he had enough of me but his gestures seem to say otherwise. The little things he does for me, they leave me speechless and with a feeling of warmth inside of me. I feel cared about.

I wander and wonder again, clothes stuck to my body and heavy as I’m drenched.  
The downpour hasn’t stopped yet just like my thought about both Chanyeol and Soonyoung.  
I keep bouncing from one to another, feeling more and more helpless and frustrated with every bounce and every step.

At a certain point, I wished I had my earphones with me so that maybe the music would shut my mind up, easing the knot at the mouth of my stomach.

After what it seems like hours, tiredness starts creeping up and I decide it’s finally time to head back home.

I’m past Joshua hyung’s house and it will take another 5 minutes to reach my place, however, my feet act on their own again, making me stop right in front of Soonyoung’s house.

I fix my gaze on the door as if it could make him appear right before my eyes.

The loud sound of the water drops hitting the ground and the leaves slowly tuned out as I tune in the sound of Soonyoung’s bubbly laugh that’s playing now in my head.  
The salty scent of the rain becomes the strawberry scent I could smell on the plushie and the blanket I slept with at his house almost a month ago.  
The bitter taste of the alcohol slowly fading and turning into the taste of the peperos he gave me when he knew I was hungry.

All these things were the things which made me look at him in a different light while, before, I was blinded by his bad temper, thinking he could be nothing but a pain in the ass.

However, to him, I will be nothing but an evil being sent on Earth to annoy and torture him, while Wonwoo is the angel descended on Earth to save and love him. It feels a bit unfair but I’m happy for hyung because, maybe, he has finally found someone to keep by his side. Someone to love.

I don’t know for how long I’ve been standing still, looking at the door. I start feeling a bit cold, shivers running up and down my spine and reaching the rest of my body, too.

Suddenly, the coldness and the hard rain are probably playing a trick on me making me see things that aren’t really happening. Because it’s impossible that Soonyoung has opened that damned door and is now running to me with a red umbrella opened over his head, right?

Apparently, it’s _possible_.

**“Jihoon,”** Soonyoung calls out as he takes big steps to reach me, concern written all over his face.

**“Soonyoung, what are you doing here?”** I stupidly ask.

**“I should be the one asking you that.”** He sighs and pushes the umbrella forward so that it’s now covering me too. **“I was in my room, sitting on the armchair next to the window. I was staring at the rain when I saw you. Why are you standing still in the rain? Is everything okay?”** There’s worry in his eyes, they look so pained it hurts.

**“Yup, I was going back home.”**

**“Why are you walking to get there? It’s raining cats and dogs! You could’ve taken a bus or a taxi. Hell, you could've even asked us to drop you home.”** Every word of his tugs at my heart.

**“Calm down. I just wanted to walk and it wasn’t raining before.”**

**“I know but you can get sick.”** He runs a hand through his hair, lips darting to wet his lips as he thinks about what to do with me. **“Here, take my umbrella,”** he then says, extending even more the hand holding the umbrella.

**“I don’t need it, I’m almost there.”** I push it towards him again.

**“C’mon, you can still be saved. Take the umbrella and as soon as you get home, dive in a hot bath or take a hot shower.”**

**“You don’t need to worry.”**

**“Even if I can’t stand you at all because you are the number one knob out here, you can’t get sick.”**

**“Why can’t I?”** I almost shout, tired of his never-ending worries that do nothing but make me want to cry even more than I already want to.

**“Because you need to think about the wellness of the group. If you’re ill how can y’all practise or perform?”**

I can feel something cracking inside my chest. **“It’s not like we have a gig scheduled this next week.”**

**“For fuck’s sakes, don’t be stubborn and just take my umbrella.”**

I look at him for a while, pondering on whether appeasing him or keep on being stubborn. He’s wearing nothing but his pyjamas, consisting of a thin long-sleeved white shirt and pants barely reaching his ankles. He’s slightly shaking from being too much outside in the coldness. His eyes, though. They’re fierce and steady on me, warning me that he’ll not take no as an answer. **“Okay, I’ll take it. But, first, I’ll take you back or you’ll wet yourself, too.”**

Soonyoung nods, pleased by my answer, and hands me the umbrella. When I grab the handle, our fingers gently brush. Both of us flinch a little at the sudden contact. Maybe it is because it felt somewhat intimate, maybe it’s simply because of the coldness taking over our bodies. Soonyoung averts his gaze and tilts his head towards the door, a cue to start walking. I hold the umbrella high over our heads, the gap between our bodies almost none as I try not to get Soonyoung wet. The faint beams of light coming from the lampposts colour Soonyoung’s face with a golden shadow. He looks like one of those masterpieces whose artist is so proud of, they decide to cover it with a gold leaf, to make it even more beautiful and precious.

He’s that stunning at this moment.

Once we reach the entrance to his house, he stands there, rocking back and forth on his heels. He doesn’t need to say a word that I already know why he’s being like this. He’s waiting for me to walk away and I do that.

I walk away from him only to turn around again when I reach the end of the driveway and shoo him inside with a gesture of my hands. He backs off and before closing the door, he sticks his tongue out.

The door closes behind him and I sigh, a weak smile tugging on my lips.

He’s like a little brat who will never give up on being annoying.

And what about me?  
What am I?  
I’m just an idiot who was getting carried away too much by the moment, by the atmosphere. For a moment, it really felt as if he came straight out of my mind to save me from the vicious cycle of my thoughts.

It felts as if he was really worried. He was but about the _Jeonghan’s bitches_ as a whole, not about me.

What was I expecting? I’m only a nuisance, a dude who does nothing but bother him by just breathing, a guy who mocks him every time he can.

I take a quick glance at Soonyoung’s room and his light is still on. A foolish part of myself wishes that he’s still next to his window, watching over me, waiting for me to walk away before going to bed. But what’s the point of that? It’s not like I’m his friend or something else. He doesn’t have to. Maybe he’s telling Seokmin how dumb I am for standing in the rain outside his house.

I shake my head and go home, this time, for real. I need to get myself together and stop thinking about him.

_‘I have Chanyeol who worries and cares about me. I worry and care about him too. I like him a lot and we cherish each other. Nothing matters more than this.’_

However, not even a minute goes by that my head is filled for the umpteenth time with thoughts about Soonyoung and Wonwoo.

_‘Why Wonwoo hasn’t called me yet? Did something happen between them? What should I do? Why am I a complete fool?’_

The weather seems to reflect my mood and thoughts as the downpour is slowly turning into a storm.

Luckily, by the time thunders and lightning fill the cloudy sky, I’m home.

I go for the bathroom, trying to pass unnoticed by my parents or else I will be scolded by my mother for not taking an umbrella with me when the weather forecast had clearly said that a storm was about to come.

I run the hot water in the bathtub and in the meantime, I go in my room to grab some dry clothes and to charge my phone. I quickly check it before leaving it on the bedside table. Not even a single notification shows up on the screen. Good.

I undress and throw the wet clothes in the sink, submerging then my body in the boiling hot water which burns my skin. However, the pain slowly turns into a pleasant sensation which is quite hard to describe with words. I bask in that feeling and get lulled by the sound of the rain beating on the window glass, feeling more and more drowsy as the coldness leaves my body and warmth takes its place. Suddenly, the events from today feel distant almost as if they were a dream, a trick played by my imagination.

I was close to falling asleep in the tub when my mom loudly knocks on the door to check if I was alright. I reassure her, saying I was just relaxing a bit.

As soon as I get out of the water, the cold attacks me again. I quickly dry my body with a towel and wear my pyjamas. I clean up the mess I made in the bathroom and only after that, I go back to my room, covering myself with a couple of blankets.

I take my phone from the bedside table and check again for a text.

_Nothing._

I take a deep breath and decide to call Wonwoo. Maybe he thinks I’m still out with Chanyeol.

I touch the contact list icon on the screen and scroll through it, stopping once I reach Wonwoo hyung’s number. I press the call button and the phone rings three times before hyung answers.

**“Jihoon!”** He has an excited tone as if the call he was waiting for had finally arrived.

**“Hey, hyung!”**

**“Are you home?”**

**“Safe and sound. What about you?”**

**“Me too.”**

**“So, did you have fun?”** I ask as I shuffle to turn on my side.

**“You go first. What did you and Chanyeol do?”**

**“You already know part of it.”** I giggle. **“We went around the different shops, looking for matching items to wear at school and on dates; we sipped a milkshake while listening to some vinyl albums at that new cafè; we watched a rom-com and then ate some sushi. Then I walked him home.”**

**“I couldn’t ask you that at the mall but since when are you a fan of couple items? Weren’t you the one who said he’d rather chop off one of his balls instead of wearing something like that?”** Wonwoo is now trying to tease me.

**“It’s a long story but to put it simply, I couldn’t say no to him,”** I admit, rubbing my forehead out of embarrassment. 

**“You’re that whipped? Wow, Jihoon.”** I can hear him clapping on the other side. **“Finally, we’ve found someone able to tame our maknae.”**

**“You’re so funny, hyung. Can you hear me laughing?”** I give him a very sarcastic laugh.

**“I know I’m funny.”**

**“What about your not-really-a-date?”**

**“It was good, really good.”** He is smiling and I can hear it behind his voice. **“Did you see that Soonyoung and I were alone?”**

**“Yes. How did that happen?”** I ask genuinely curious about the dynamic behind that.

**“Well, our plan was to leave Joshua hyung and Seokmin alone because everyone but them knows they’re mutually pining. Believe me when I tell you they hadn’t even noticed they were alone until they reached a shop and saw we weren’t behind them. They were too busy looking at each other to notice.”** I roll my eyes upon hearing how dense those two are. **“In the meantime, I spent some time with Soonyoung. I got to know him better.”** Wonwoo contently sighs. **“I felt so comfortable around him and I couldn’t help but smile. I swear, my heart almost jumped out of my chest whenever he laughed at one of my silly jokes or when he smiled or looked at me.”**

**“Hyung, you say I am whipped but are you listening to yourself? You’re the one who’s whipped.”** I laugh at him, hoping it doesn’t come off as bitter as it tastes in my mouth. 

**“I have no problem to admit it.”**

**“Touché.”**

**“Jihoon, I’ve really enjoyed my time with Soonyoung and I hope I can have some proper dates with him. I just need to know if he feels the same way about me.”**

**“I hope he does.”**

There’s a long silence uncomfortably settling in the conversation as I don’t know what else to say.

**“Oh, wait,”** Wonwoo suddenly says. **“Aren’t you two sitting next to each other in class?”**

**“Yes, why are you asking?”**

**“Can’t you look into it and find out what he thinks of me?”**

**“How should I do that?”**

**“I don’t know, maybe you can ask him if he had fun tonight and things like that.”** Wonwoo hyung’s voice is full of hope. 

**“I’ll try but I can’t assure you that I will succeed. There’s a high chance of being told to fuck off and mind my own business.”** I turn to lean with my back on the mattress and comb my hair with a hand.

**“I hope he won’t do it even if you deserve it.”** He laughs.

**“Instead of trying to be funny, pray he will give a serious answer and won’t attack me.”** I join him in laughing at the matter. **“I think you’re the only one who had caught up on the fact that we’re on bad terms.”**

**“Yeah. If you ask me, it was pretty obvious.”** He pauses for a while and takes a deep breath. **“You know, I think it’s only a matter of time. Soon, he’ll realise you’re not a complete idiot and. who knows, maybe you’ll even become friends.”**

**“Friends, yeah.”** Another bitter laugh followed by a big and loud yawn. **“I think my time to hang up has come, hyung. I feel sleepy and if I don’t close my eyes now, tomorrow I won’t wake up on time.”**

**“Right. Sometimes I forget that you’re still a kid.”**

**“I’m not a kid!”**

**“You are!”** He chuckles. **“Good night, Ji.”**

**“Night, hyung.”**

I hang up and put the phone back on the bedside table.

I stay still for a while, staring at the ceiling and reflecting on what Wonwoo said.

He really is whipped for Soonyoung, obvious by the way he had described the not-really-a-date. The sincerity of his crush makes me hope that things will go well for him and that Soonyoung will treat him in the way he deserves to be treated.

The idea of Soonyoung being the one deciding how things will go on from this point onwards scares me a bit.

I’m not scared because I’m jealous, not at all.

I’m scared that he can bring Wonwoo’s hopes up and then crush them in a blink of an eye, leaving a broken Wonwoo behind. Hyung is a precious guy who needs to be happy and not let down by cruel and heartless people and I really hope Soonyoung is not one of them. I will personally warn him that if he wants to take things to the next level with Wonwoo, he has to want it for real and be one hundred percent sure of it or else I’ll chop his dick off.

With that in mind and a mild but constant heart pang, I slowly fall asleep, the idea of being in charge of two people’s happiness is pressuring me a little and is also tying knots in my stomach.

_Their destiny is in my hands._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it for this week! 
> 
> Honestly, I've been dying to write this chapter! It's one of my favourites so far because of the rain scene. I have the chills as it plays over and over in my mind. Seventeen's "I Don't Know" helped me a lot in writing the scene, it felt just perfect at the moment! I hope you liked it too and the chapter wasn't too overwhelming or redundant in some of its parts. 
> 
> What do you think will happen now? What will Jihoon do? Leave your theories in the comments here or on my [**Curious Cat**](https://curiouscat.me/Yleisnotonfire)  
>  Don't forget to check out the on going Soonhoon au on twitter [**Meet my eyes**](https://twitter.com/angstylene/status/1107219088776937473)  
>  With this story, I'll see you next week!!  
> Thank you so much <3


	19. Chapter 19

_** Soonyoung’s point of view ** _

I wake up with a smile plastered on my face and get dressed while humming a happy tune.

What a great day it was yesterday.

I finally got to spend some time with Wonwoo hyung and it was wonderful. My heart wouldn’t stop beating fast, skipping beats from time to time when he smiled and scrunched his nose. He looked really shy at first but then he opened up and it was almost like as if he was another person. Plus, he had been really sweet and considerate to the point he walked me home from Joshua’s car so he could leave a quick peck on my cheek and wish me goodnight. He was perfect until the end of the night. I had troubles falling asleep because of how happy I felt. That’s why I was at the window, looking at the rain and I was Jihoon in the rain. He was staring at my house’s door, looking sad and defeated. That image of him somewhat tugged at my heart and I couldn’t help but run to him with an umbrella. I wish I could do something more for him, to make him wear a pair of dry clothes before sending him off, but knowing him, he would’ve said no without even thinking about it. That’s only because we can’t stand each other but after seeing him like that, I really want to give my best to make things better, to maybe become someone he can confide in and talk to when he feels sad. I know too well how it feels like not having someone to talk to when one of those days hits you.

_'I’ll change. I’ll be a better person for me and a better friend for him.'_

I nod at myself in the mirror and then go downstairs to have a quick breakfast.

When it’s eight o’clock, Joshua rings at the door. I grab my things and join him to go to school.

**“Morning hyung! Today is a wonderful day!”** I throw my hands in the air as to welcome the day.

**“Morning Soons. Why are you so happy today?”** Joshua has that knowing look on his face.

**“Nothing in particular, I just woke up in a great mood.”**

**“I’m happy you’re feeling good but don’t you think it’s a bit too much saying it’s a wonderful day? The sky is grey and it’s cloudy.”** He points at the sky.

I look up and see that, indeed, the sky is full of grey clouds and it’s probably going to rain. **“Oh, really? I hadn’t noticed.”**

**“Are you sure nothing happened?”**

**“Sure.”**

**“Then, it’s either Jeon Wonwoo has a great effect on you or you hit your head while sleeping and went crazy.”**

**“Idiot.”**

Joshua laughs as I roll my eyes. **“You know, I had so much fun yesterday. We should hang out like that again.”**

**“It would be great.”**

**“But we have to tell the others, too.”**

**“Speaking of that, you know, yesterday I saw Jihoon.”** I feel like I need to tell Joshua, maybe he knows something I don’t.

**“At the mall? Yes, we saw him, too.”**

**“No, not then.”** I put my hands behind my head. **“I saw him once again. It was late and he was standing in the rain outside my house. I thought something had happened to him and so I ran out to check on him.”**

**“Hey, is he getting to that soft spot of yours?”** Here he goes again. I want to have a serious talk and he has to mock me.

**“Nope. It will take years for that, if not centuries or _millennia._ ”** I know I said I want to change but I won’t admit it to Joshua. At least, not now.

**“Really?”** He’s giggling, clearly not buying it.

**“However, he looked a bit down. Did something happen with Chanyeol?”**

**“I don’t know.”**

**“Why don’t you try asking him?”**

**“Why?”** Joshua has that annoying smirk and I really hate it.

**“Nothing.”** I lift my shoulders in a half shrug.

**“I know you.”** He repeatedly hits my chest with his index. **“You want to gossip with Seokmin about it.”**

**“How did you know?”** I play along so he doesn’t find out the real reason behind it.

**“You’ll never change, you _gossiper_!”**

We keep laughing and, without even noticing it, we arrive at school. Jihoon is not outside the gates so we both just assume that he’s already in class or somewhere with Chanyeol. Joshua goes to the library and I go to my class.

When I get in there, Jihoon is not at our desk and my mind immediately fills with worries about him catching a cold or even having a high temperature. But it’s not like that or else Joshua would’ve known it, right?

Before going to my seat, I head to Seokmin’s. Yesterday we hadn’t the chance to talk about the night’s events and I want to pry about him and Joshua hyung as the latter, too, didn’t tell me what happened when he was alone with my friend. Basically, the curiosity is eating me alive because I want to know if our plan was a success or not.

**“Morning Seok.”**

**“Morning Soonie.”**

**“So?”** I wiggle my eyebrows and flash him a creepy smile.

**“What?”**

**“How was it yesterday?”** I ask, eyebrows still wiggling.

**“First of all, why the heck did you leave us alone?”** Seokmin punches my arm. **“Secondly, amazing.”**

**“What did you do after the movie?”** I crouch and cross my arms on the table so I can prop my chin on there. 

**“We went drinking some caramel macchiatos and then aimlessly wandered around the mall, talking and laughing.”** His ears are reddening as he tells and thinks about his time with Joshua hyung. **“Every time our hands brushed, I had shivers running up and down my spine. I don’t want to be delusional but I think he was doing it on purpose. However, as I have already said, It was wonderful.”** He hits me again. **“I hate and love you at the same time.”**

**“I was sure about that.”** I rub the sore spot on my arm, hinting at him to stop hitting me.

**“Yeah but next time, warn me so I don’t panic when I turn around and I can’t find you anymore!”** Seokmin aims for the chest this time.

**“Where’s the fun in that? And, please, stop hitting me!”**

**“And you? What did you and Wonwoo hyung do?”**

**“After we left you at the movie theatre, we went into different shops and tried the cutest or funny items they had. For example, Wonwoo hyung wore a lion hat and suddenly started roaring. Then, we found a photo-booth truck and I convinced him to take a photo. At first, we opted for a serious one but, in the end, we took five and all with silly faces.”** I show him a couple of the expressions we pulled for the photos. **“While we were walking, we met Jihoon and Chanyeol. We chatted a bit and then joined you to eat pizza. That’s it.”**

**“What a cute date!”** Seokmin coos at me.

**“It wasn’t a date.”** I feel my cheeks heating and I know that, soon enough, I’m going to look like a tomato. 

**“But the idea of going on a date with him makes you happy, right?”**

**“Uh?”**

**“Your eyes are sparkling and you’re smiling like a complete fool.”**

**“Really?”** I ask while getting myself together and trying to make a blank expression. 

**“Really. You’re already a fool out of love!”**

At that moment, the bell rings and so I reach my seat but not before slapping Seokmin’s arm and subtly giving him the finger.

The teacher walks in and she’s followed by Jihoon. Apparently, he’s not ill but he is pale. I hope for him he hasn’t come here with temperature or a cold.

He sits down next to me and nods in greetings. Not a ‘hi’, not a smile. Nothing at all. He almost didn’t even look at me before taking his notebook out of his bag and taking notes about what the teacher had started explaining.

The morning lessons go by with me glancing at Jihoon from time to time to check if there’s something wrong, if he’s really feeling well. If he had caught me staring, he doesn’t say that, he doesn’t even try to be annoying today and this worries me a lot. Was he in his right mind, he would’ve already mocked me about anything that crossed his mind. At lunchtime too, he goes sitting at Chanyeol’s table even though the latter isn’t here today. He’s there, with his boyfriends’ friends who are now his friends too but he’s not smiling and it’s not like the atmosphere around them is awkward. They usually get along so well and talk a lot but Jihoon is frowning. It’s as if there’s an ongoing fight inside of him from which he cannot snap out of. His body is here but not his mind.

Joshua notices that I’m not really listening to the conversation so he follows my line of sight and his eyes land on Jihoon. He puts down his chopsticks and reaches for m hand to grab it.

**“Are you sure you’re not softening?”** Joshua says and when, confused, I look at him, he nods his head towards Jihoon’s direction.

**“I’m not. It’s just that something feels wrong.”** I take my hand out of Joshua’s hold.

**“Why do you care so much?”**

**“I don’t know. It’s just that I have this unsettling feeling inside of me.”** I prop my chin on my hand.

**“Don’t worry. I’ll talk to him later.”** He pats my shoulder. **“Now, go back to class. Seokmin already went there.”**

**“Uh? REALLY?”** I look left and right and see that, indeed, Seokmin is not at our table anymore. **“WHY DIDN’T HE WAIT FOR ME?”** I yell.

**“He called you _three times_ but you were too focused on the little boy over there. I told him to go ahead.” **

**“Woah, I wasn’t too focused on him, okay?”** I warn Joshua hyung and he just covers his mouth to giggle. **“Since you find it so funny, return my tray too. I’ll get going.”**

**“I’m not your slave!”** I barely hear hyung saying that, too busy on my running to really care about that.

Lessons start again and sleep kicks in as the weather gets more and more gloomy.

Soon, it starts raining and, for a while, I forget about being in class and just stare at the raindrops.

They’re falling, hitting the glass one by one and creating a sort of rhythm, broken by the sudden thunders. Then, I stop and stare at the drops moving on that glass. Most people look at them thinking they’re watching a race to see which drop can reach the bottom first. However, I’ve never seen it as a race. Every couple of drops fall following their path, a parallel path. They’re close enough to see each other but not close enough to reach the other. They keep streaming slowly and fast and then slowly again on that glass. It’s as if one of the two runs ahead but then remembers that it’s not lonely and waits for the other to catch up, to be by their side again. It’s a parallel path, though, and they reach the bottom on their own, alone, without the chance of being with the other drop they’ve grown close to. Some drops, despite starting on parallel paths, stray from their original course, getting the chance to join the other drop and reaching the end as one.

Two parallel lines are not bound to meet but the hopeless romantic residing inside of me believes that those drops are able to defeat such laws because of their need to reach out and touch their loved one.

Drop after drop it’s time for our literature class and it’s at that moment that I get a note from Jihoon.

_**Soonyoung.** _

_**Look who deigned to write me a note.** _

_**What?** _

**_You have ignored me the whole day._ **   
**_However, how are you?_ **   
**_Did you catch a cold?_ **

_**If I did, would I be here?** _

_**No, right.** _

I pass him the piece of paper and inspect his face to see if he’s telling the truth or is lying. He’s busy reading so I thought he wouldn’t have noticed but, of course, that’s not the case.

_**Don’t look at me like that.**  
**I’m fine, really.** _

_**Okay then.  
So, did you have fun yesterday? ** _

I may take the chance and ask him myself if there’s any issue with Chanyeol, suspicions raised by the fact he hadn’t shown up at school.

_**A lot.** _   
_**It was a lovely date.** _   
_**What about your date with Wonwoo hyung?** _

_**It wasn’t a date!  
Joshua hyung and Seokmin were there too, you know it.** _

_**As if Wonwoo hyung hadn’t told me you two were alone most of the time.** _

_**He told you?** _

_**You read it well.** _   
_**He told me.**_   
_**So?**_

**_Why do you want to know?_ **

**_Because I’m bored and I want to talk about something._ **

_**I will just because I feel like talking to you.**  
**It was a wonderful night, I had so much fun with Wonwoo hyung.** _

_**Really?** _

**_Really.  
I can’t even remember when was the last time I had enjoyed going out with someone who wasn’t Seokmin or Joshua hyung. _ **

_**Do you perhaps have a crush on him?** _

_**Eh?** _

_**Wonwoo hyung.** _   
_**Do you like him?**_   
_**Be honest.**_

_**I don’t have to tell you.** _

_**I know and you don’t have to.  
It was just to talk.** _

I read the message and then look at him, remembering what I had promised to myself in the morning. Opening up to him is like straying a bit from my parallel path, is like taking a step forward to him. If I do this, can things really change and reach the point where I can be the friend he seems to be unconsciously needing for?

_**Yes. I like him.** _

_**Since when?  
Yesterday? ** _

_**Actually, it’s been a while.** _

_**I see.  
Well, I hope everything turns out well for you. ** _

_**Suddenly, you’re rooting for me?** _   
_**Did you get caught by my charming presence?**_   
_**Do you like me, now?**_

_**Not at all.** _   
_**You can go back looking at the rain or whatever you were doing before.** _   
_**I have nothing more to say to you.** _

He passes me the paper and then looks at the teacher who was telling the class about an upcoming mock test.  
Jihoon went back to ignoring me for the rest of the classes.

When the school day reaches its end, Seokmin and I are the first to leave the class while Jihoon is still sitting at our desk. I’m tempted to stay and ask him why he’s acting like that, but I decide not to.

He wouldn’t tell me, right? He avoided the Chanyeol topic before, plus, I asked Joshua to talk to him.

I’m under the school porch as the sky is basically falling down in the form of rain. Seokmin offered me a ride to go back home but I’m waiting for Joshua to come.

We came on foot and I really hope he had an umbrella at the library or we’ll have to wait for the rain to stop before actually going home. Usually, I bring one of those fold-out umbrellas in my bag but I must’ve forgotten it at home.

It’s starting to get chilly and the uniform is too thin to be out in this kind of weather. I decide to wait for Joshua inside the hall and, as I’m turning around, I bump into someone.

It’s Jihoon.

He had just walked out with the red umbrella I landed him yesterday. He opens it and pushes it towards me.

**“Take it. I don’t need it and it’s yours anyway.”**

**“What do you mean you don’t need it? It’s raining and you don’t have another umbrella.”** I push the umbrella towards him.

**“Don’t worry, I said I don’t need it.”** He shoves the umbrella in my way, hitting my chest with the handle.

**“I will wait for the rain to stop. You go home with it or else you’ll get drenched just like yesterday.”** I grab his arm and move it so that the umbrella is covering his head.

**“Stop worrying about me!” Jihoon shouts. “I told you it’s not a problem so take your stupid umbrella and go home!”**

**“Why are you mad, now?”** I shout back.

**“I get mad because you’re this stubborn and don’t listen to what other people say.”** He’s not shouting but the volume of his voice is still high enough for other people to hear. In fact, there are few students who are watching our exchange as if it’s a scene from their favourite drama.

“ **Okay, give me that stupid umbrella.”**

I snatch the umbrella from Jihoon’s hold and he walks away in the rain, not looking back.

Shocked by his attitude, I watch his retreating back asking myself if his behaviour had changed or if he had been like this from the start but I hadn’t noticed it until now.

But why does he have to get me worried this much about him?

  
  
  
  


_**Jihoon’s point of view** _

I must calm down.

I must control myself.

I raised my voice in front of Soonyoung and I’ve been acting weird with him the whole day. The fact is that guy riles me up to the point I couldn’t help but explode. He is so fucking stubborn. He worries about me getting drenched when he could’ve been in the exact same situation if he didn’t take that damned umbrella.

Moreover, why does he worry? It’s not like we’re best friends or friends at all. He is the one who keeps saying he can’t stand me but look at what he does. He asks me how I’m doing, he wants me not to walk in the rain, not to catch a cold. He uselessly makes me feel cared about and he doesn’t need to do that. I have a boyfriend who already does that. He will have Wonwoo to care about from now on.

Speaking of which, I have to tell him about Soonyoung having a crush on him so they can start dating and maybe he will stop crossing the line with me, stop making me feel kind of uneasy when I’m around him.

I look up at the sky, eyes half closed so the rain can’t get in my eyes. The weather perfectly reflects how I feel inside. It’s a storm of feelings and thoughts on which I have no control whatsoever.

  


By the time I get home, I am a mess both inside and outside.

I take a quick shower and get changed as I have to get out again: today is practice day. As I’m drying my hair, the phone buzzes in the pocket of my jeans. I take it out and see that Joshua hyung has texted me.

**Joshuji:**  
_Stay home, I’ll fetch you to go to Mingyu’s._

**Woozy:**  
_Okay, hyung. I’m ready._

**Joshuji:**  
_I just dropped Soonyoung to his house.  
I’ll take a shower and be there. _

**Woozy:**  
_I’ll be waiting for you._

After fifteen minutes since the last text, Joshua arrives and I get in his car so we can go to Mingyu’s.

In the car, Joshua can’t stop tapping his fingers on the wheel. He is nervous and wants to talk about something but he doesn’t know how to get to that topic. 

**“How are you?”**

**“I’m fine, why?”** I ask back, eyebrows raised in confusion.

**“You’re obviously not in your best condition. Did something happen?”** Joshua takes his eyes off the road for a second so he could study my expression.

**“No?”** It comes out more as a question than an affirmation.

**“Did you perhaps fight with Chanyeol?”** He finally gets to the point. He thought there was some kind of trouble in paradise.

**“No, I didn’t.”**

**“Are you sure? Because if that’s the case, you don’t have to be like that. Fights-”**

**“We’re okay, I swear.”** I interrupt him before he could talk my ear off about the matter. **“We’ve been together for _two days_ , why should we be fighting?” **

**“There are plenty of reasons to fight, especially when you have a partner as jealous as Chanyeol is.”**

**“We didn’t. It’s just that this sudden change of the weather wore me down a little.”** I lie. I can’t help but do that in order to avoid the never-ending questioning that would’ve followed.

**“Okay, then. I’m glad it was not a big matter.”**

He flashes me one of his warmest smiles and tries to lighten the mood by making weird freestyle rap to some random tunes on the radio. He said it’s something that, lately, Seokmin and he enjoy doing.

At Mingyu’s, it’s basically a disaster.

Every song we practice ends up being repeated at least twice because of my mistakes. I mess up the tempo, I can’t follow the rhythm, I forgot my parts and some of the notes. For some reasons, I can’t seem to focus on music. Drumsticks, that usually fly over the breakables, hardly move to hit the drums and the cymbals at the right time.

After five songs, Seungcheol calls for a break.

**“Jihoon, are you okay?”** Mingyu comes over, handing me a bottle of water.

**“Yes, I am.”**

**“Are you sure?”** Seungcheol drags a chair to where I am sitting on the stool and patting my back. **“You don’t usually make mistakes.”**

**“I know that, hyung. It’s just that today is one of those days.”**

**“What do you mean?”**

**“I feel tired and it’s difficult to follow the rhythm and the flow,”** I explain with a weak smile tugging at my lips.

**“I think we can wrap it up today.”** Jeonghan chirps in after eavesdropping the conversation

**“Are you sure, hyung? We can keep going, I’ll focus more.”**

**“Ya! Stressing your body and mind won’t bring any good,”** Seungkwan says from where he’s sitting.

**“Seungkwan is right.”** Seungcheol’s hand moves from my back to my shoulder. He gives a light squeeze before getting up and heading at the centre of the room. **“Everyone could use some time to rest. What about taking the rest of the week off and practice again from Monday?”**

**“I think it’s a good idea. We need to charge our batteries.”** Jeonghan joins Seungcheol and gives him a quick peck on the cheek.

**“Then, that’s it. Let’s all go home and get some rest!”** Seungkwan is already turning off his electric keyboard and ready to gather his things.

**“Thank you. You really are the best hyungs.”** I give them the most sincere smile I can manage at the moment. 

I get up, greet everyone and I was about to walk out of Mingyu’s house when I hear Joshua hyung calling my name.

**“Jihoon-ah. Wait for me, I’ll drop you off.”**

**“You don’t need to, hyung.”**

**“You’re tired and I forbid you to go home on foot. Plus, we live in the same neighbourhood so I have to go there too.”**

**“If you say so.”**

He grabs his jacket and we leave the house.

In the car, I pretend to be asleep so I can avoid talking. My forehead is leaning on the window glass, it’s coldness being the only thing keeping me awake and not falling in a slumber for real. The trip is quiet and, once we’re in front of my house, Joshua puts his hand on my shoulder and lightly shakes me to wake me up.

I thank him before getting out of the car and wave at him when I’m about to walk inside my house.

The door closes behind me and it’s as if the weight of the day finally falls on me, making my shoulders sag.

I go to my room and fall face first on the bed.

Then, I take my phone and text Wonwoo hyung. I have to tell him what I’ve found out early this day before I completely forget about it.

**Woozy:**  
_Wonwoo hyung._

**Nonu:**  
_Yes, Jihoon?_

**Woozy:**  
_Yesterday you told me to find out things about Soonyoung._

**Nonu:**  
_Did you find a method to do so?_

**Woozy:**  
_Actually, everything’s already done._

**Nonu:**  
_Really?_

**Woozy:**  
_Yes but I couldn’t tell you in front of the others._

**Nonu:**  
_Oh._  
_What did he say?_  
_Tell me, quickly._

**Woozy:**  
_That he likes you and it’s been a while since he has had a crush on you._

**Nonu:**  
_You’re not kidding me, right?_

**Woozy:**  
_I’m not._  
_I’m telling you the truth._

**Nonu:**  
_I can’t believe it._

**Woozy:**  
_Congrats, hyung!_  
_Now, man up and ask him to date you._

**Nonu:**  
_I’m so happy!_  
_Of course, I’ll ask him to date me._  
_Wait._  
_Did you tell him I like him too?_

**Woozy:**  
_No._  
_You’ll be the one telling him that._

**Nonu:**  
_You’re the best!_  
_Remind me of treating you to food one of these days!_

**Woozy:**  
_You don’t have to, hyung._

**Nonu:**  
_Of course I have to!_  
_I’ll buy you your favourite kind of meat_.

**Woozy:**  
_If that makes you happy._

**Nonu:**  
_As if it won’t make you and your stomach happy, too._

**Woozy:**  
_You’re right hahaha._  
_Hyung, I feel sleepy so I’ll take a quick nap._  
_Talk to you later._

**Nonu:**  
_Rest and take care of yourself!_  
_I want to see you shining on Monday._

**Woozy:**  
_I will be!_

I put the phone on the bedside table and close my eyes. I feel like falling asleep out of desperation so I could stop thinking. I feel like wanting to get up when it’s already time to go to school or when at least a week has already gone by. I want to stay for a while with an empty mind and forget about everything and everyone.

I deserve at least that.

Of course, sleep doesn’t come at all. Not that evening nor that night.

It had started raining, again.

The sound of the raindrops is usually a perfect lullaby but not that night.

They are deafening, yelling at me to do something but all they really do is bringing me back to the night before, when I felt lost in the rain to the point of almost crying until he came to stand by my side, his red umbrella being the only bright colour in that dark and gloomy night.

Drop after drop, a melody starts coming into my mind and it’s followed by some words.

I reach for my phone to record that melody and once I’m done with that, I grab my laptop and start writing down some lines, fingers tapping fast on the keys, afraid of forgetting the words if I typed slower than that.

_“When this rain falls on my head_

_I’ll get all wet, even my heart_

_Stay with me, I still can’t be_

_In the rain alone without you”_

_“Will it stop now?_

_These raindrops, these tears?_

_I don’t want to_

_Get wet with rain_

_And tremble with cold”_

_“I’m getting all wet right now_

_I don’t even have the strength to open an umbrella_

_But we know_

_Let me just cry for a moment_

_As I lean on the rain_

_So you won’t see my sad tears”_

_“It’s just a passing downpour”_

  


By the time I finish writing my words and feelings down, it’s already four o’clock in the morning.

With a lighter heart, my eyes slowly start closing lulled by this newly created melody which brings a certain red colour within it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I couldn't post this as usual at the end of the week but I was really busy for the past few days and I got to update the story today. 
> 
> Things seem to be finally changing between our Soonyoung and Jihoon. What do you think will happen now that Soonyoung's starting to open up to Jihoon? Let me know your theories! I really like reading them :D 
> 
> As always, thank you for reading this and I hope you enjoyed the chapter! I'll try to post the next chapter asap to make up to the long wait for this one <3


	20. Chapter 20

_**Soonyoung’s point of view** _

As I have already said hundreds of times, Saturdays are the best days of the week for me. No alarms going off until you go deaf, no classes to attend, you can get up whenever you want and laze around the whole day.

Yeah, Saturdays are definitely my thing.

It’s ten in the morning when I decided to leave my bed and the first thing I do is opening the curtains, letting the sunrays seep in. It’s a sunny day and I take my time next to the window, liking the warmth spreading across my skin due to the sun.

I didn’t mind the rainy weather of these past days but this one definitely reflects my mood.

Yes, I’m still happy because of the _not-really-a-date_ with Wonwoo hyung two days ago and I guess it’s because I’m totally whipped for him.

I haven’t properly told Seokmin or Joshua about my crush because I wasn’t sure I really liked him but after spending an entire evening with him, I realised that I do feel something for him. Up until today, my love life hasn’t been full of sunshine and rainbows so I was scared. experienced a lot of one-sided crushes.

Then.

Then there was her, the person I’m sure was I sincerely _loved_.

I first met her back in Japan when I was going through a tough time.  
All of my friends started dating at that time. They were all happy with their partners and even if we would hang out together, I felt lonely. They were bringing me with them but they weren’t really with me. Too immersed in their love lives to notice that I was slowly drifting away from their group, sure that I could never experience what they were having at that moment.

_Love._

All of those past crushes lead me to think I probably wasn’t worth any attention.

One day, though, I saw her. She came to greet one of my friends and the sparkle immediately ignited the fire. We got along so well, we became like best friends in just two weeks. But we knew, there was something else laying behind our smiles, our laughs, our jokes, our teasing and our hugs. When we were together, it felt like the rest didn’t matter, we were the only one that mattered right there and we felt like we could be our true selves. All of our friends told us we looked like a couple and we were close to becoming one.

However, another boy got in the way, someone who seemed to be better than I was considering that I had never seen her ever again after the day she told me we should’ve stopped being friends.  
My heart broke the first time I saw them together; it shattered while watching her smiling like she used to do with me; it crushed under the weight of the infinite questions and what ifs popping into my mind; it wrecked as I felt like a fool for trusting her and believing that I was special to her, someone who she didn’t want to make suffer.

Indeed, I suffered. I suffered a lot because of her.

I didn’t feel like leaving the house anymore.  
I didn’t want to meet my friends or spend time with my family.  
I didn’t want to see things that would’ve reminded me of her.  
I didn’t want to sleep, too afraid of seeing her in my dreams and wake up crying because of how much I missed her.  
I didn’t want to do anything at all, I just wanted to laugh and smile with her again.

Luckily for me, my parents got transferred that same year so leaving Japan, helped healing the wound. I started a new life, met new people. I befriended Seokmin and Joshua with whom I immediately clicked and we became a great trio.

I feel better? Of course, I do.

Did I stop thinking about her? No, I didn’t.

The memory of her started fading but it never really left. On lonely and sad nights, when I least expect it to happen, my wound would open and flood my mind with the moments spent together, the touches, the words whispered to each other, our parting. Needless to say that, because of her, I was afraid of falling in love again and go through that pain over again. It’s unbearable. You feel like suffocating and no matter how much you breathe, air never really fills your lungs. It’s scary how heartbreaks can leave you this breathless, how it makes your heart ache. No unrequited crush can compete with the pain left by her.

In the first case, you get over it rather quickly as the other person hasn’t that kind of feelings for you and maybe you weren’t really into them.

In the second case, you can’t get over it, no matter how long you wait for the pain to go away. Knowing that the other person had feelings for you, they felt the same as you did but then disappeared, that just tears your heart apart. It makes you wonder what kind of future would you have had if things went differently, if she didn’t put an end to it, if you grabbed her hand and didn’t let her go.

However, the past is in the past and we cannot do something about it. We have to learn from this kind of experience and grow up, become stronger, hoping the pain won’t numb you to the point of not feeling anything at all.

I thought I was surrendering to the idea of never falling in love again but then I met Wonwoo and something inside me says that things may be different with him, that he’s not like her, that I shouldn’t push him away because he makes me feel safe and happy and I want to keep feeling like this.

My thoughts are suddenly interrupted by the notification sound coming from my phone. I leave my spot next to the window to grab the device I had put on my desk. I check the notification and see that it’s Joshua hyung.

**Joshuji:**  
_Morning, Soons!_

**Hoshiya:**  
_Hyung!_  
_Why are you already up?_

**Joshuji:**  
_I could ask you the same thing._  
_Did you fell from your bed?_

**Hoshiya:**  
_No, but I fell asleep pretty early yesterday._  
_What about you?_

**Joshuji:**  
_Same._  
_Yesterday our practices ended early and we won’t have any until Monday._

**Hoshiya:**  
_Why?_

**Joshuji:**  
_We thought it was better to take a break and rest._

**Hoshiya:**  
_I’m glad you did!_  
_You don’t have to overwork yourselves._

**Joshuji:**  
_Yeah and we now have a free weekend!_

**Hoshiya:**  
_After a whole month._

**Joshuji:**  
_Do you know what this means?_

**Hoshiya:**  
_What?_

**Joshuji:**  
_That tonight we’ll hang out!_

**Hoshiya:**  
_Where are we going?_  
_Playing bowling?_

**Joshuji:**  
_What about eating some sushi?_

**Hoshiya:**  
_Sounds perfect to me!_  
_It’s you, me and Seokmin?_

**Joshuji:**  
_Well, Wonwoo and Seungkwan are tagging along._

My eyes go wide and I feel my legs giving up on me. Thank God, my butt landed on the bed.

**Hoshiya:**  
_Really?_

**Joshuji:**  
_Yup._  
_They haven’t anything scheduled for the weekend so I thought it would be cool to have them joining us._

I almost squealed out loud after reading the text and I have to bury my face in the pillow sitting beside me to prevent any noise from leaving my mouth.

**Hoshiya:**  
_You did amazing!_

**Joshuji:**  
_How come?_

**Hoshiya:**  
_Uhm because we get to spend some time together and our group has grown bigger, duh._

**Joshuji:**  
_Are you sure there isn’t another reason other than that?_

**Hoshiya:**  
_Yup. Sure!_

**Joshuji:**  
_Ah, before I forget it, I talked to Jihoon yesterday._

**Hoshiya:**  
_And?_

**Joshuji:**  
_He said there’s no problem with Chanyeol._  
_He felt a bit down because he’s tired._

**Hoshiya:**  
_That could explain why he was cranky._

**Joshuji:**  
_What do you mean?_

**Hoshiya:**  
_While I was waiting for you after school, he came to me to return my umbrella._  
_I told him to keep it because it was still raining and he could’ve caught a cold._  
_He raised his voice saying that I had to stop worrying about him._

**Joshuji:**  
_He really did that?_  
_It’s weird._

**Hoshiya:**  
_I know, right?_  
_He was weird but I bet it could be because of the tiredness._  
_I am like that too when I don’t manage to sleep for days._  
_Hope he rests._

**Joshuji:**  
_Are you sure you hate him?_  
_Because, lately, it doesn’t look like it._

I shuffle on the bed, not knowing what to answer since I feel like it’s still too soon to tell Joshua that I’m giving Jihoon a chance.

**Hoshiya:**  
_I’m sure._  
_My only concern is that if he’s ill he can’t join the practice and you can’t have any gig._

**Joshuji:**  
_What a thoughtful boy we have here._

**Hoshiya:**  
_I’ve always been like this._

**Joshuji:**  
_Yeah, sure…_

**Hoshiya:**  
_...I don’t even want to answer you._

**Joshuji:**  
_But you just did._  
_However, what you’re up to?_

**Hoshiya:**  
_I’m about to lay on my couch and binge some old dramas._  
_What about you?_

**Joshuji:**  
_I’m going shopping with Mingyu._

**Hoshiya:**  
_Oh, how come?_

**Joshuji:**  
_Nothing in particular._

**Hoshiya:**  
_Are you sure there isn’t another reason other than that?_  
_Maybe because you want to dress up for someone named Lee Seokmin._

**Joshuji:**  
_That’s not true!_

**Hoshiya:**  
_Bullshit!_  
_You know you can’t lie to me._

**Joshuji:**  
_I could say the same thing to you Mr I-Have-A-Big-Fat-Crush-On-Jeon-Wonwoo._

**Hoshiya:**  
_How do you know that?_

**Joshuji:**  
_You’re like an open book to me._  
_I can read it on your face and when someone mentions his name, you light up._

**Hoshiya:**  
_Are you for real?_

**Joshuji:**  
_Yup. You’re pretty obvious._

**Hoshiya:**  
_Do you think he noticed it?_

**Joshuji:**  
_Considering how dense he can be, I doubt that._  
_However, I figured that out just because I know you too well._

**Hoshiya:**  
_The same goes for me._  
_So, when do you plan to tell him?_

**Joshuji:**  
_Tell Wonwoo you like him?_

**Hoshiya:**  
_WHAT?_  
_DO NOT DO THAT OR ELSE I’LL CUT YOUR TONGUE AND FINGERS!_  
_I meant when do you plan to confess to Seokmin?_

**Joshuji:**  
_Not now, I’m not psychologically ready._

**Hoshiya:**  
_You need to hurry up!_  
_If you waste too much time it could be too late._

**Joshuji:**  
_I want to wait for the right time._

**Hoshiya:**  
_If you say so._

**Joshuji:**  
_Soons, I got to go._  
_Mingyu is almost here._

**Hoshiya:**  
_Tell him I said hi and don’t buy anything too classy for tonight hahaha_

**Joshuji:**  
_How funny, ha ha ha._  
_See you later!_  
_I’ll pick you up at 8:30 and then we’ll go fetching Seokmin._

**Hoshiya:**  
_Okay, hyung!_  
_See you later!_

I return to the home screen of my phone only to open the messaging app again to send a text to Seokmin. Knowing Joshua, he forgot to tell Seokmin about tonight’s plan so I have to tell him before I forget too.

After sending the text, my mind goes ~~not really~~ straight to Wonwoo. He will be there, too. I can’t stop smiling at the thought of spending another night with him. I can already feel that familiar knot tying at the mouth of my stomach, panicking about what to wear and how I should act around him.

When I check the time, I see that’s half past ten and I manage to calm down as I have plenty of time to choose my outfit. It’s better to keep my mind distracted for a bit so I bring my laptop downstairs, throw myself on the couch and start my marathon.

It’s almost seven o’clock when I turn off my computer. The morning and afternoon went by faster than expected so it’s already time to get ready, which means it’s time to officially panic. I’m home alone since my parents went to the mall after lunch, meaning I won’t have mom teasing me as she sees her son running around the house like a madman who’s about to lose his mind over what clothes should he wear. But it also means I can freely play music using the speakers.

I take a shower and as I do so, I ride the rhythm of the song and even held a mini-concert in the bathroom.

Drying my hair takes more than it should as I get lost in my thoughts and use the hairdryer to warm my body, too.

After that, I walk in my room to get dressed and I really don’t know what to wear. I take a shirt and a jacket but I reckon it would be too classy for a hangout. I think about wearing a plain white shirt with a tie but it would’ve been too much. In the end, I go for an oversized grey t-shirt with a “new wave” red stamp on the left. The shirt is half tucked in a pair of blue jeans ripped on the knees which had a belt/band around his right thigh. I put on the feet a pair of black Chelsea boots and I’m done!

I check the me reflecting in the mirror and I almost whistle at how look I good right now. I’m really dressed to impress but without exaggerating. I’m proud of myself.

I grab my phone to check for any incoming message and see that’s almost eight o’ clock. I need to hurry up if I want to put some makeup on: just a bit of foundation, eye-shadow and eye-liner. When I’m done with that, I hurriedly reach the bathroom to grab my perfume and spray a bit of it around the neck zone, hoping the scent is one Wonwoo likes. I check to see if I got all of my belongings with me and go to the kitchen to leave a post-it to my parents.

_"To mom or dad or whoever reads it._  
_I’m going out with Joshua and Seokmin so I’ll be late tonight._  
_Don’t stay up waiting for me. I’ll bring my kyes._  
_Goodnight xoxo"_

After sticking the note on the fridge, I decide to wait for Joshua outside since he will be here in two minutes anyway.

Indeed, two minutes in the chilly night air and Joshua is here, stopping his car in my driveway so I can get in.

Wonwoo and Seungkwan are already with him. The latter is in the front seat, the one I usually sit in that’s why I knock on the window and motion him to get down so I could sit there but Seungkwan is blatantly ignoring me. I can turn my hand to owt, Joshua planned this. He ~~threatened~~ convinced Seungkwan with his ~~evil~~ lovely smile to ignore me so I would go sitting next to Wonwoo.

_‘Great. They want me to die before we even get to the restaurant.’_

As I open the door to climb in the back seats, I feel the knot in my stomach tighten even more. Wonwoo looks dazzling. The warm yellow light coming from the lamppost created a sort of aura around him. It felt like I was looking at a real angel who was smiling at me.

I ignore the how the other two are looking at us with that knowing gaze of theirs and finally get in the car.

**“Hi, guys!”** I greet all of them as I close the car’s door.

**“Hi, Soonie!”** Seungkwan turns around just to flash me a smile, one that makes his cheeks go all the way up. 

**“Hi.”** Wonwoo is suddenly shy, ducking his head and playing with the hem of his shirt.

**“Is Seokmin ready?”** Joshua asks while starting the car up.

**“Yup, he’s waiting for us.”**

**“Let’s go then!”**

The trip to Seokmin’s house would’ve been silent if it wasn’t for Seungkwan singing all the songs getting played on the radio, hitting those high notes just perfectly even when it was a song in a female key. When we’re in front of our friend’s house and Seokmin comes out of the door, Joshua whispers something in Seungkwan’s ear. The latter nods and gets out of the car only to join Wonwoo and me at the back, letting Seokmin sit next to Joshua.

Those two really plotted something against me.

Not that I don’t like being squeezed next to Wonwoo but I’m having a breakdown. I’m too aware of the points in which my body touches Wonwoo’s and it’s making me going crazy, my heart almost bursting out of my chest. 

We arrive at the Japanese restaurant with Seokmin and Seungkwan having bickered over what kind of sushi they should eat at dinner, Joshua enjoying the show those two put up, Wonwoo looking outside the window while I tried to distract my mind from the warmth radiating from Wonwoo’s body next to mine. I swear, I’m going to kill Joshua sooner or later.

After parking the car, we all climb out and when it’s my turn Wonwoo keeps the car door open for me. He does the same with the restaurant one. I can’t help but give him a shy smile, happy about this little gesture.

Once we’re inside, the waitress leads us to the table Joshua had apparently booked that morning. Seokmin and I sit next to each other with Joshua and Seungkwan right across from us. Wonwoo, on the other hand, is sitting between Seungkwan and me, chair dangerously shuffling close to mine. I wonder if he did that on purpose or just to have a better look of Seungkwan and Joshua while talking to them.

We order our food, everyone is naming almost twenty different dishes per person and it seems as if we’ve been starving for days. The moment the waiter leaves, however, we immediately regret the amount of food we picked. There’s the five of us but we ordered enough to feed an army.

Knowing it would take a while to get the main dishes, we ordered some shrimp puffs to munch on, which arrive rather quickly. As soon as the baskets are placed on the table, Wonwoo and I reach, at the same time, for the one close to us and I end up grabbing his little finger instead of one of the puffs. Realising what happened, we lock eyes and shyly giggle.

**“You first,”** Wonwoo says, retracting his hand once I loosen the grip from his pinky.

**“Thank you.”** I grab the puff and smile at him after biting it.

**“You shouldn’t do that, Wonwoo. You have to be quick if you want to eat some.”** Joshua takes a couple of puffs from the basket before him. **“Soonyoung is able to make them disappear in less than a second.”**

**“That’s not true!”** I whine.

**“Every time we come here, I have to fight you to eat two shrimp puffs. I’m not exaggerating.”**

I stick my tongue out at him and then pout. Joshua, as if to dare me, reaches for my our basket and takes three shrimp puffs.

**“I let you take them only because I like you, hyung,”** I say through clenched teeth, trying to be as kind as possible with my words.

**“Thanks.”** Joshua shares the stolen puffs with Seokmin when suddenly glances at Seungkwan who’s too busy texting to join the conversation. **“Seungkwan, who are you texting?”**

**“Jihoon,”** the blondie answers still looking at his phone screen.

**“Is he resting?”**

**“I don’t think so.”** Seungkwan glances at us and notices that we’re all staring at him, waiting for an explanation. **“He told me Chanyeol insisted on going on a date so he’s getting ready to meet him.”**

**“He should be resting though,”** Wonwoo says as he plays with his chopsticks. **“He didn’t look too well yesterday.”**

**“I know, right? Jihoon is not the type to make that many mistakes,”** Seungkwan grabs his first shrimp puff and examines it before eating it. **“He’s usually the one who scolds us for not being focused.”**

**“What if he’s sick but doesn’t want you to know?”** I suddenly ask.

**“Sick?”** Seungkwan asks back, confused.

**“Yeah. The other day, I caught him walking in the rain without an umbrella and he did the same yesterday, too.”**

**“Knowing him, he would hide the truth so we don’t worry about him.”** Wonwoo rubs his chin, probably thinking about another time Jihoon did hide something from them.

I wish I didn’t know this because, now, I’m even more worried than I was before. What if he lied to them, to me? What if he’s really sick? What if he faints on the street due to high fever? But most importantly, why does he feel the need of hiding this kind of things from his friends? I bet it’s because he doesn’t want to feel like a burden to them, doesn’t want them to feel like they have to help him.

Thinking this may really be the reason why he pushes people away when in need of help, makes me want to do something, to let him know he’s not a burden at all. This whole situation makes me wish I could be a friend with whom he can be comfortable, talk about his problem and seek for help if he needs it. I want to be that kind of friends if he lets me and I’ll try my best to convince him that he can open up to me.

I didn’t realise I was lost in my thoughts so I almost jump from my seat when the waitress from before places the dishes full of sushi on our table. As she does so, we all stare in silence at the food being placed before us, already drooling at the sight.

**“Soonyoung, are you okay? You were spacing out,”** Joshua asks after nodding at the waitress to thank her.

**“Yes, sure. I was only thinking about how hungry I am.”** I try to give him my most convincing smile so he won’t ask more questions.

**“What are we waiting for, then? Let’s eat!”** Seungkwan yells the last words and the old couple sitting beside us shushes him, reprimanding him of being too loud.

It’s funny to see Seungkwan repeatedly bowing to the elders to apologise. As we try not to laugh and get scolded too, we dig in it the food.

If an hour ago we thought the food we ordered was too much, we realised that it wasn’t enough. Ashamed of the capacity of our stomachs, we order some more of sushi. While waiting for the food and then eating it, we share some funny stories, we talk about some upcoming Netflix series and now-famous groups.

**“I’m pretty sure that _Jeonghan’s bitches_ is soon going to be a top group too,”** I say.

**“You’re so good!”** Seokmin agrees.

**“Do you really think that?”** Seungkwan asks with sparkling eyes.

**“Of course, or else we wouldn’t have said that.”**

**“You’re the best fans one could ask for, for real.”** The blondie wipes a fake tear.

**“We’ll be the ones to create the official fan club!”** Seokmin looks at me, already excited at the idea.

I nod. **“I can’t bring myself to imagine the number of people joining it.”** I use my chopsticks to point at no one in particular and say, **“Everyone would like to be a fan of seven talented and handsome boys like you.”**

**“Are we handsome?”** Wonwoo asks, his lips slowly forming a smirk.

I turn my face away, not being able to hold his gaze. **“Uhm...yes.”**

**“Your ears are getting red!”** Joshua sing-songs and points at my ears.

**“Don’t say it, hyung! They’ll get even redder!”** Seokmin slaps Joshua’s hand. He then turns towards me with this mischievous look on his face. **“There’s no need to get shy, though, right?”**

Wow, I’m being betrayed by him too, now! **“I t-think so?”**

**“ _Cute._ ”**

Wonwoo whispers and it probably wasn’t meant for me to hear but I eventually do. I slowly turn my head towards him, eyes wide due to the shock, and he realises I heard him. He immediately averts my gaze, looking at his hands resting on his lap. His cheeks are flushing, too.

He said I’m cute.

Wonwoo said it, I didn’t imagine it.

My heart skips a beat, as if it stumbled, only to run faster than it has ever done since I’ve met the black-haired guy sitting next to me. I have to get myself together before he can feel uneasy due to the intensity of my stare and before I actually start squealing.

**“Ehm...I’m sorry, I need to use the toilet,”** I say while bolting up, chair screeching on the floor. **“Seokmin, do you want to come with me?”**

**“Uh?”** Seokmin is quite lost, not understanding why I am suddenly asking him to join me in the bathroom. I have no choice but shooting him the ‘save-me look’. He seems to catch it because he stands up, too. **“Sure!”**

We smile at them, reassuring them we’ll be quick. The moment I turn my back, I almost run for the toilet.  
Once I’m in the bathroom and I’m sure Seokmin is in too, I close the door and lean all of my body on it, eyes closed and taking deep breaths.

**“Soonyoung, is everything okay?”** The concern in Seokmin’s voice makes me open my eyes.

**“No, I think I’m about to pass out.”** I rush to the sink and look at myself in the mirror. The redness has spread not only all over my face but to my neck, too.

_‘Great. He must’ve taken me as a fool.’_

**“Eh? What? Why?”** Seokmin grabs my shoulder and turns me around a little so he can inspect my face, eyes hurriedly looking for hints about what’s happening to me.

I take the hand Seokmin has on my shoulder and take a deep breath. **“I heard Wonwoo calling me cute.”**

**“REALLY?”** He squeals and when a boy leaves one of the cubicles in the bathroom, he realises there may be other people in the room with them so he whispers again, **“Really?”**

**“Yes! He said it thinking I wouldn’t hear him. However, I did and blushed when he noticed it.”**

**“That’s a good sign, isn’t it?”** Seokmin lightly slaps my arm. **“Could it mean that he likes you too?”**

**“I don’t think so, but I know that I was about to faint right there.”**

**“You’re so dramatic!”** He rolls his eyes but the smile on his face grows wider. **“How do you feel now?”**

**“On cloud nine! I have butterflies in my stomach and my head feels so light!”**

**“Ah, young love.”** He sighs.

**“Don’t even start it.”**

He laughs. **“Okay, tiger. Now, let’s go back to our table. They might be thinking we escaped from the window or something like that.”**

**“You’re right. Let me get myself together and then we can go,”** I say as I spray some cold water on my wrists, hoping it helps at lowering my temperature and make the blush disappear. **“I have to act like a normal person again and not like someone who nearly had a heart attack because of his crush.”**

Seokmin laughs and taps my shoulder to encourage me. I laugh too definitely feeling calmer than before.

As he makes his way to the door, I look at my reflection in the mirror to fix some rebellious strands. Before stepping out of the bathroom, I take a deep breath. The boys’ gazes are on us all the time it takes to reach our table.

**“Are you okay? We thought somebody kidnapped you,”** Joshua says to both of us but he’s looking at Seokmin.

**“Or that you ran away using the window,”** Seungkwan says. **“They do that in movies.”**

**“Seokmin knew you would’ve said that.”** I try not to laugh at how proud Seokmin looks at this very moment.

**“So predictable,”** he says with a smug which irritates Seungkwan.

The two start bickering and the rest of us bursts out laughing at how childish those two can be.

When the two children stop yelling at each other thanks to the intervention of Wonwoo, we pay the check and leave the restaurant, apologising for being too loud.

We’re all walking to the car, contently rubbing our bellies because of full we are. To be honest, we had originally planned to eat some ice cream after the sushi but I guess we gave up on that by a silent mutual agreement. I think we’re all sure that if we try to put one more thing in our stomach, we might explode.

Not changing our original seats arrangement, we climb in Joshua’s car and go dropping Seokmin to his house since both Wonwoo and Seungkwan will be sleeping at Joshua’s.

On the way back to our neighbourhood, with ( _finally_ for my sanity) a gap between us, Wonwoo and I steal glances while the other doesn’t look. It goes like that for the entire trip and I know it because I caught him a couple of times while looking into the rearview mirror.

We arrive at Joshua’s house and I’m ready to bid my goodbye when hyung stops me.

**“Where do you think you’re going?”**

**“Home?”** Mine, of course, is a rhetorical question.

**“Not alone.”**

**“Again? My house is literally there.”** I point at it.

**“I know, but it’s late and something dangerous could happen,”** Joshua says as he closes the car’s door and locks it.

**“The only danger is in your head, hyung.”**

He ignores me and turns to Wonwoo. **“Wonwoo, why don’t you walk Soonyoung home? Seungkwan and I will start heading in and arrange the living room for the night.”**

**“Okay, hyung,”** Wonwoo says and then looks at me, shyly smiling. **“Do you have any problem with that, Soonie?”**

**“Uh? Uhm..n-no problem at a-all.”** I stutter and it’s not because he called me Soonie, not at all.

Right now, I’m smiling at him but I want to punch Joshua. I want to punch that grin away and next time I see him, I’ll make sure to do that.

Nevertheless, I wish him a good night as well as Seungkwan. Then, I turn around and find Wonwoo already waiting for me.

He makes a gesture with his hand, wanting me to show the way for my house so I start walking. I can’t bring myself to look at him but I can feel him next to me. We’re walking slowly, at a matching pace and in silence but it’s the comfortable kind of silence. It’s like we want to enjoy this alone time we have and take in every moment of it. We look around us, then at the sky and breathe in the night air. As we do that, hands lightly brushing in the little space between our bodies, I wish it would take longer to get to my house. I wish I could stay longer by his side, glancing at his profile lighted by the streetlights and the moonlight.

When we stop in front of my door, Wonwoo stands there, rocking back and forth on his heels. He looks at me and then at his shoes, suddenly feeling shy.

**“I hope you had fun tonight.”**

**“I did. It’s always good to spend time with you.”** When I realise what my words could imply, I quickly correct them and, of course, I stutter. **“I m-mean, with all of y-you.”**

He chuckles and I mentally facepalm because of how dumb I am. **“I had fun too. Your company always puts me in a good mood. I mean, you, Seokmin and Seungkwan make a great trio.”**

**“Apparently, the three of us share one brain cell when we’re together.”** What? I already have made a fool out of myself so why not going all the way?

**“So who gets that brain cell when you part like now?”**

**“I don’t know, but I guess it’s not me.”**

**“Yeah, I think so too.”** He immediately agrees, nodding his head.

**“Hyung!”**

**“What? You had it coming.”** He laughs, amused by my offended expression.

**“Guess you’re right. I had to expect it.”** I laugh too, rubbing my nape. 

He keeps smiling, nose scrunched up and eyes almost disappearing in two thin lines. Right at this moment, with this light shining on him, in this chilly air, under this night sky, I decide that I would like to make a fool out myself hundreds, no thousands of times if it meant seeing him look like this, if it meant being able to hear that melodic laughter of his.

**“I hadn’t a chance to tell you before but you look good, hyung,”** I say with a confidence I didn’t know I had and that could maybe ruin the moment we were having two seconds ago.

**“Thanks. You look great, too. Even better than I do.”** Wonwoo whispers the last few words so I’m not quite sure if I heard him correctly.

**“That’s impossible, hyung. You’re better-looking than me.”**

**“Well, to me, you’re more handsome than anyone else.”**

I freeze on the spot, staring at him, mouth slightly agape. He isn’t looking at me, too focused on playing with his fingers.

_‘Did I hear wrong? Did he really say what he has just said?’_

I start feeling hot and I know I’m becoming an overripe tomato. **“T-thank you. Do you really think that?”**

_‘Dumb question, Soonyoung!’_

**“Yes, I do.”** He takes a pause and a deep breath before adding, **“Also, I need to tell you something.”**

**“What is it?”**

**“It’s been a while since I’ve wanted to tell you but I wasn’t sure, I couldn’t muster my courage up until now.”**

For the first time since we complimented each other, he lifts his head, eyes focused on me. I’m glad to see that his cheeks are flushed, too.

**“I like you, Soonyoung.”** The volume of his voice so low I could barely catch it. As I stay silent, he goes on and says, **“At first, I thought I liked you as a friend, so in the same way I like Joshua hyung and the others but I was wrong. The more I got to see you, the more I could feel that something felt different. When I realised it, I couldn’t help but look forward to the times you would come over to watch our rehearsals. I hoped we could hang out too just like it happened the other day at the mall. You know, it was one of the best moments of my life and it gave me the courage to confess.”**

The moment Wonwoo stops talking, silence envelopes us for a moment. **“I must say I’m taken aback,”** I manage to say but I’m not quite sure how.

I feel like the world is spinning around me, my light feeling super light and I’m sure I might float away if I don’t grab something that can keep my feet attached to the ground. My mind is in complete, utter chaos as it’s still trying to make sense out of Wonwoo’s words, still trying to make sure this is the reality and not just a dream. My heart is jumping, racing, skipping beats and it’s leaving me breathless.

**“Why?”** Wonwoo’s eyes are shaking, afraid I might be rejecting him.

**“Because I can’t believe this is happening for real. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a good thing because I like you too.”** The moment those words leave my mouth, Wonwoo relaxes and his face glows in happiness, his smile wider than I’ve ever seen it. **“You may not believe it but you are the first one who made me feel like this after a long time.”** With newfound courage, I reach out to take his hand. **“Every time I’m next to you my heart races, butterflies fly around my stomach and I feel like I’m able to do anything, even the impossible.”**

Wonwoo gets closer and pulls me towards him using the fact I’m holding his hand to his advantage. When I bump into his chest, he softly wraps his arms around me. Shocked by his sudden move, I don’t immediately hug him back but when I do, I can hear him contently sigh over my shoulder. I bury my head under his chin and try holding onto his shirt as I feel my legs shaking. We stay like that for what it feels like hours, already comfortable in each other’s arms and enjoying the warmth our joint bodies emanate.

**“I’m so happy,”** I whisper against his skin.

**“Me too.”** Wonwoo sighs again and tightens his hold around me.

**“I still can’t believe it. Are you sure I didn’t fell asleep in the car and this is only a dream?”**

**“It’s not, trust me.”**

**“Thank God, then!”** I exclaim and I can hear his laughter reverberate in his chest.

**“Tomorrow, I have a surprise for you,”** Wonwoo says, pulling away from the hug to look at me in the eyes.

**“Another one? I don’t think it can beat this one, though.”**

**“I’ll come here at eight.”**

**“Why?”**

**“We’ll hang out. You and I.”** He hesitates a bit before saying, **“Our first date.”**

God, the way he says it sends shivers down my spine and I can’t stop the smile that’s now blooming on my lips. **“Can’t wait for it.”**

**“Now, head in. It’s late and we don’t want Joshua hyung annoying us about this, right?”**

**“Right. I wouldn’t stand it because he will be even worse than us when he’ll finally have the guts to confess to Seokmin.”**

**“Oh, he definitely will be worse.”** Wonwoo chuckles and the way he’s smiling makes me unable to end this moment, unable to get inside of my house. **“Goodnight, Soonie.”**

**“Goodnight, hyung.”**

Wonwoo hugs me again and leaves a kiss on my forehead before taking some steps back, putting some distance between us. For a moment, I thought he was about to leave but he’s waiting for me to go inside.  
I grab my keys and turn around to unlock the door. When I step in and face him again, there’s, suddenly, a bolt of lightning and it’s like Wonwoo’s image shifts for a couple of seconds, giving me the feeling of a déjà-vu. I swear I could see Jihoon with my red umbrella under the rain, a smile tugging at his lips as he waited for me to get inside my house. In hopes I hadn’t frozen on the spot, I wave at Wonwoo before closing the door.

_Why does Jihoon have to pop up in my mind in a moment like this?_

Shaking my head to get rid of his image, I run upstairs, trying not to be loud and wake my parents up. Once I’m safe and sound, surrounded by the walls of my room, I quickly remove my makeup and change into my pyjamas before throwing myself on the bed, still not quite believing that Wonwoo and I are going on a date tomorrow.

Wonwoo and I.

Wonwoo, the boy with a cute smile, and I.

I pinch my arm for a reality check and curse at myself because of the pain but I smile immediately after.

It’s real.

I could totally open the window and scream out loud how happy I am if it wasn’t that my parents are asleep and Wonwoo could hear it from Joshua’s house.

At that time, my phone vibrates.

**DonkeyKong:**  
_Are you alive? Are you home?_

**Hoshiya:**  
_I’m in my bed._  
_See you tomorrow morning?_

**DonkeyKong:**  
_Same place, same time._

**Hoshiya:**  
_Alright! Goodnight!_

**DonkeyKong:**  
_Goodnight!_

I can’t wait to tell Seokmin about what happened tonight and see his reaction at the news of me and Wonwoo dating. I was about to put my phone away when I remember I should threaten a certain someone. 

**Hoshiya:**  
_You’re dead meat._

**Joshuji:**  
_Goodnight to you too, Soonyoung._  
_I hope you liked the little surprise._

**Hoshiya:**  
_I did but you’ll still die because of it._  
_You’re warned._

**Joshuji:**  
_I’m already shaking out of fear._

**Hoshiya:**  
_HA HA HA_

I set the alarms for the morning and lock the screen before putting my phone on the bedside table.

The whole night I keep turning left and right, not being really able to sleep as I feel too giddy. I replay the scene before my eyes over and over again until, at some point, Wonwoo’s laugh becomes a sort of lullaby helping me sleeping and having sweet dreams.

_I really can’t wait to see what happens tomorrow._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Soonwoo wasn't what you were expecting but, trust me, we need this for the storyline hahahaha  
> What do you think about this chapter? Let me know in the comments, on my [**CC**](https://curiouscat.me/Yleisnotonfire)  
>  or on my [**twt**](https://twitter.com/Yleisnotonfire1)  
>  I'm sorry this took a while but chapters keep getting longer and life getting busier. I think I won't have a regular schedule until the 4th May but I'll make sure to post asap!!  
> In the meantime, I wrote my first Meanie/Minwon one-shot! I'll leave it here if you want to check it out! [**Game Over (Give Up?)**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18486424)  
>  Thank you so much for reading this and sticking with me!! See you at the next update!!


	21. Chapter 21

The alarm goes off at nine in the morning and for the first time in a while, I don’t feel like snoozing it and sleep five minutes more.

Actually, I woke up earlier than I usually do on the weekend and I know it’s due to the excitement for tonight. From the moment I open my eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how Wonwoo’s arms felt around me yesterday and how much I want to feel them again. 

I get up and open the curtains and the window’s doors to let some light and fresh air in the room. It’s chilly but it’s still a sunny day. 

When I climb down the stairs to head in the kitchen and have a quick breakfast, I see my parents in the living room. They’re both sitting on the couch, my mom’s watching the tv while my dad’s reading the newspaper. I run in the kitchen to grab a bowl and put some milk and cereals before joining them on the couch. 

**“Good morning!”** I sing-song, plopping beside my mom. 

**“Good morning!”** Her eyes go wide for a second in fear I might spill the content of the bowl all over the couch. **“How come you’re not sleeping in today?”**

**“I have to meet Seokmin in a while.”**

**“Don’t come back too late, today we have guests for lunch and I need a little help with the cooking,”** She says as she cards a hand through my hair. 

**“Okay, lovely mommy,”** I purr, relishing in her touch. 

**“Soonie, are you okay?”** Dad worriedly asks, looking up from his newspaper. 

**“Yeah, why?”**

**“You just said _‘lovely mommy’_ and last time you called her like that was when you were ten!”** He legit looks scared. 

**“Really? I didn’t notice.”**

**“You’re acting weird…”** Dad is about to add something when he gets cut off by mom. 

**“By the way, how was the night?”**

**“Amazing,”** I declare between a spoonful of cereals and another. **“We ate sushi after months.”**

**“You, Seokmin and Joshua?”**

**“Well, there were also two friends of Joshua hyung. Wonwoo and Seungkwan.”** I look at the spoon in the bowl for a couple of seconds, waiting for my dad’s reaction that it’s soon to come. 

**“Wonwoo and Seungkwan?”** He, in fact, asks, putting aside his newspaper so he can completely focus on me. 

**“Yes.”**

**“Why don’t I know them?”** He is sitting on the edge of the couch, elbows leaning on his thighs and hands intertwined under his chin. 

**“Because they’re Joshua’s friends.”** I gulp down the milk left in the bowl before adding, **“I’ve met them around a month ago.”**

**“I need to meet them. I want to know with whom my son is hanging out.”**

I put the empty bowl on the coffee table before my mom and me and wail my hands in the air to stop dad from thinking whatever he’s thinking. **“You don’t need to meet them, I can already assure you they’re good guys. They’re Joshua’s friends after all and you know how’s he like.”**

**“Soonie is right,”** Mom chimes in, ready to help me persuading dad from planning something that will embarrass me for the rest of my life. **“You know Joshua is a good boy and doesn’t have any bad influence.”**

**“I won’t trust them until I meet them.”** He leans back on the couch, still not wanting to let go of the matter.   
That’s why is mom the one who smoothly changes the topic. 

**“Now you know from whom you take after when it comes to stubbornness,”** She says as she turns her head towards me, moving her hand in between my father and me as if it wasn’t obvious from her words who she was talking about. 

**“I’m not stubborn!”** I cry out. 

**“Yes, you are.”**

I puff my cheeks and pout in fake annoyance until my mom shuffles closer and ruffles my hair. I flash her a big smile and she does the same. 

**“Oh, right.”** I regain my composure in a second. **“Tonight, I will go out again, around eight.”**

**“Where are you going? With whom?”** He’s at it again. 

**“I don’t know. With Joshua. You don’t need to worry!”** I answer both of his questions, lying about going out with Wonwoo for obvious reasons. He would not let me live if I told him I have a date and will insist on letting Wonwoo in the house only to interrogate him. **“Now, I’m going to get ready or I’ll be late and Seokmin will kill me.”** I bolt away from the living room before dad could even elaborate another question in his head. 

I put the empty bowl in the sink and run upstairs to get dressed. When I’m done, I grab my phone and wallet and rush out of the house. 

Of course, I’m close to being late and that’s why I sprint, trying to be as fast as possible and hoping Jihoon isn’t around so I won’t waste more time. You know, apparently I the only person I end up bumping into when I run it’s him, the reason why I hope he’s home. 

When I’m near _“Coffee & Goodpie”_ and checked that I’m not too late, I slow down so I can start catching my breath. 

At that moment, I realise there’s someone walking towards me with a big smile plastered on the face and that someone is Jihoon. 

**“Habits are hard to break, am I right?”**

Obviously, it’s a sarcastic question but I still give him a serious answer, **“I was running late.”**

**“I would never have guessed.”** He smirks and I can already feel the urge of fighting him arise **“Well, at least, you didn’t crush into someone.”**

**“That’s because you weren’t around.”** I cross my arms over my chest and shift my weight from a leg to another. **“This proves that the absent-minded one was you and not me.”**

**“As if that was possible.”** He scoffs, slightly irritated by the truth of my statement. **“Where are you going, by the way?”**

**“ _Coffee & Goodpie_ to meet Seokmin.”** The usual me would stop the conversation here, but I’m trying to be a better friend for him and that’s why I ask, **“What about you?”**

**“I was jogging in the park and then bought my black coffee.”** Jihoon looks at his surroundings and points towards the nearby park.

**“Weren’t you supposed to rest?”** I shriek, voice going an octave higher. **“Joshua hyung told me you took a break from practising because you all needed to rest…”** I instinctively inch closer and point my forefinger at him. **“Especially you!”**

**“I _am_** **resting but I felt the need of jogging.”** He lifts his shoulders in a half shrug as if it wasn’t a big deal. 

**“Don’t exert yourself too much. You may feel sick and faint.”** The tone of my voice becomes sweeter. I even put a hand on his shoulder and give it a light squeeze before saying, **“You should rest, okay?”**

**“I’m okay.”** Jihoon looks at my hand but doesn’t shrug it off. 

**“I’m being serious.”** I sigh and study his face for a moment. **“Now that I’m looking, you’re quite pale.”** I lift my other hand and grab his chin, turning his head left and right to examine it better. 

**“I’m always pale!”** Jihoon shouts, swatting my hands away and taking his distance. **“It’s my skin tone, you idiot!”**

_‘I could swear he was pale until a while ago, why his cheeks are now pink? Is he already sick?’_

**“Wait, what’s wrong with you?”** Jihoon suddenly asks, eyes frantically going over my face as if they’re looking for something, a sign of me going insane, probably. **“Why are you even worrying? Do you want to be my friend?”**

**“What? No way!”** I cross my arms once again and look away from him. **“Next time, I won’t even look at you, just like I’m doing now.”**

**“Good. Mind your own business, Kwon.”** Even though the words may seem harsh, his tone is a playful one as he actually looking forward to the next time. 

**“Knob.”** I snort and then smile as I look at him again. 

**“Weren’t you running to _Coffee & Goodpie_?”** He’s serious again and he’s pointing towards the shop’s direction. 

**“OH, RIGHT!”** I shout realising that I had completely forgotten about Seokmin for the entire time I was talking to Jihoon. **“See you at school, bye!”**

I walk past him and sprint again towards the cafè, now being definitely late. When I step in, I see Seokmin already sitting at one of the tables and waving the moment he spots me. 

**“Good morning!”** I greet him still panting due to the running. 

**“Morning, Soons! I already ordered our drinks,”** he says as he pats the chair next to his, wanting me to sit down as we wait. 

**“That’s good! Sorry for being late, I was talking to Jihoon.”**

**“Oh, really?”** Seokmin inches closer with a weird look in his eyes. **“Everything’s okay? Did you two have your daily fight?”**

**“Not really and we didn’t fight,”** I admit as I sigh. **“I just told him to go home and rest because he needs to do that.”**

**“He needs to rest? Why?”** He’s dumbfounded as, apparently, Joshua hasn’t said anything to him. 

**“Lately, he was acting weird. I was a bit concerned about him so I asked Joshua hyung to check on him. He then told me Jihoon’s just tired and has to recharge his batteries,”** I explain, hoping Seokmin won’t pick up the part about me being concerned about Jihoon. **“Wait, you already know it! We’ve talked about this yesterday night at the restaurant.”**

**“I wasn’t paying that much attention...I was, uhm, busy thinking about something else,”** He admits, rubbing a hand on his nape, embarrassed. _Damn Joshua who distracts him!_ **“Why was he around? Why isn’t he resting at home?”**

**“He told me he went for a jog.”**

**“WHAT?”**

**“I know, right? He’s crazy.”**

**“Indeed he is.”**

I shake my head and heavily sigh at the thought of him probably being sick and still going around. Then, I remember what I really have to say to Seokmin. **“By the way, I have some good news.”**

The electronic device in Seokmin’s hand buzzes, noticing us of our order being ready. We pay and grab our take away cups.   
According to Seokmin, since it’s a sunny day, it would be a waste spending time being closed inside the cafè hence why we go for a walk in the park while drinking our coffees. 

Just like yesterday, it is indeed a great day even though it’s been officially autumn for a while. 

The sun is shining and there’s almost no cloud in the sky, the few ones up there are chasing each other in that light blue field thanks to the blowing breeze. Birds are chirping as they soar or from their spot on the nearby trees. It’s quite chilly but there are still people who repair from the sun in the shadows cast by the bare tree branches. 

Seeing everyone being out on a day like this, trying to make most of it before the cold winter comes has me smiling and Seokmin seems to notice it.

**“Has the good news you were mentioning before something to do with why you’re smiling so bright today?”** He takes a sip from his cup waiting for the answer. 

**“Maybe.”** I give a half shrug and smirk. 

**“Tell me! Now!”**

**“Okay, so do you know Wonwoo?”** I start messing with Seokmin as his frustrated expression is what I live for. **“That tall handsome guy who yesterday held the door open for me, the one who said I’m cute? The one with the sharp features but an angelic smile?”**

He hits me a couple of times on my back before screaming, **“STOP DOING THAT AND TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED.”**

**“He confessed to me.”** I, too, take a sip of the coffee as if I haven’t just dropped a bomb on Seokmin.

**“REALLY?”** He screeches and I can only nod to him as I smile and blush. **“WHY DIDN’T YOU CALL YESTERDAY TO GIVE ME THE NEWS?”**

**“It was late and, more important than that, I wanted to see your reaction,”** I say as I laugh at his still surprised expression: eyes wide open, eyebrows almost merging with his hairline, mouth hanging open. 

He regains his composure after a good couple of minutes. **“You lucky man! Tell me what he did and said without leaving a single detail out.”**

I clear my throat and tell Seokmin everything that happened since we dropped him to his house: the stolen glances in the car, the walk home, the actual confession, the hug and the upcoming date. 

**“OH MY GOD! A DATE? I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!”** Thanks to Seokmin loudness, everybody in this park knows that I’ll soon have a date. 

**“Me neither.”**

**“HOW ARE YOU SO CALM WHEN I’M FREAKING OUT?”**

**“I don’t know but I’m dying on the inside,”** I finally admit and allow myself to squeal a bit about it. 

**“Do you know what he has planned for tonight?”**

**“Actually, I don’t. He just said he’s going to pick me up at eight.”** I sip from my cup feeling the nervousness arise at the thought of what Wonwoo and I could be doing in a few hours. **“However, it doesn’t matter where we go or what we do as long as I’m with him.”**

**“That was too cheesy, you whipped man!”** Seokmin pinches my cheek. **“But I’m so happy for you!”** Suddenly, the happiness drains from his face, leaving it blank as he says, **“Now, you need to do me a favour.”**

**“What favour?”**

Seokmin stops in his tracks and puts his free hand on my shoulder, squeezing it. He looks right into my eyes when he fondly says, **“Please, leave the past behind and be happy, enjoy every moment with him. You deserve it.”**

**“I will, Seok.”** I put my free hand on his and smile at him. **“Thank you for being an amazing friend.”**

**“Don’t thank me, you stupid.”**

We giggle and start walking again. Once we’ve finished our drinks and tossed the empty cups in a bin, we find a spot in the sunlight on the grass and sit there next to each other.

**“Oh, right. Do you think the others already know it? Did Jihoon say something about it before?”** Seokmin asks as soon as he sits down. 

**“Of course, they kn-”** I abruptly cut off myself and the smile on my lips disappears, Seokmin’s words helping me connect some dots in my head.

**“What happened?”**

**“I just remembered something.”**

**“And what’s that?”**

**“Two days ago, while Jihoon and I were exchanging our daily notes during classes, he asked me about Wonwoo and if I liked him.”**

**“And what did you tell him?”**

**“I told him I do like Wonwoo,”** I admit. 

**“So you think he told him.”** Seokmin rubs his chin as he considers the option. **“That’s possible.”**

**“I’m pretty sure he did. Someone must’ve told him to test the waters and he did.”**

**“So, it’s thanks to him that you’re now dating Wonwoo.”**

**“I can’t believe that among all the people in this group, he had to be my cupid.”** I groan and this makes Seokmin laugh. 

**“In the end, you even have to thank him,”** He pats me on the shoulder. 

**“I won’t,”** I snort. **“It would go to his head and he will pester me more than he already does.”**

**“I’m sure you’ll end up being great friends. He’s not a bad guy, you know.”** Seokmin says as he leans back on his elbows and stretching out his legs, tired of being in the same position for too long. 

**“I have no doubts about that. He’s just annoying,”** I give him a mirthless chuckle as I think about Jihoon’s way of acting around me. 

**“He has fun at annoying you because you always react to that.”** He is now looking at me, one eye closed as to repair it from the sun. **“I think he actually likes you as a friend and you could actually hit it off if you wanted to.”**

Maybe it’s the way Seokmin said it or it’s the look in his eyes but I feel like I should let him know about my plan to slowly befriend Jihoon. **“Actually, I want to.”**

Seokmin seems surprised by that. **“I wasn’t expecting this answer but I’m glad about that.”** He nods to himself and turns to look ahead. **“Can I ask you what made you change your mind?”**

**“I’m not quite sure. Something in the way he looked when he was outside my house got to my heart. He seemed to be sad like he had a lot going on in his mind but no one to talk to about that. I was so worried about him and the hurt in his eyes made me change my mind. When I woke up the day after, I felt like I needed to change and be by his side, become a friend he can rely on no matter what.”** I realise I hadn’t taken a pause in between my words and I’m quite breathless. **“However, it’s something I can’t do overnight. Considering how we’ve been treating each other until now, I’m aware that it will take some time.”**

Seokmin remains silent for a while, closing his eyes and lifting his head up in thinking. **“I’m proud of you,”** He then says. **“You really are mature after all.”** He opens his eyes and looks at me then says, **“Good luck! I’ll just be here cheering for you and wait for the day you’ll become attached to the hips!”** Seokmin lifts his hands and whispers a _“fighting”_ before going back to lying on the grass. **“Going back to our main topic, do you already know what to wear tonight?”**

**“I really don’t know...I can’t think of anything!”**

**“Just relax and something will pop up in that mind of yours. Plus Wonwoo already said you’re the most handsome guy for him.”** Seokmin vigorously wiggles his eyebrows. 

I was about to answer him when my phone buzzes against my thigh. I check it and it’s a text from mom telling me to come back home. 

**“Seok, I have to go back home. I promised mom to help her cooking since we have guests,”** I say as I bolt up on my feet, brushing away the strands of grass stuck on my jeans. 

**“Run before she gets mad and ends up grounding you.”** Seokmin gets up as well and motions me to go away. 

**“I don’t need that today.”**

**“Exactly, so go!”** He turns me around and repeatedly pats my back to make me move. 

**“I’ll text you later!”**

  
  


Once again, I end up running trying not to steamroll people. 

Too afraid of getting scolded, I slow down only when I’m in my neighbourhood and know that I’m safe. When I walk past Joshua hyung’s house, I can’t help but wonder if the boys are still there and still sleeping. A smile creeps up on my lips as I think again about the date Wonwoo and I have later. It still doesn’t feel real at all and I guess it will be like this for a while, until my brain will finally register that, yes, Wonwoo really likes me as much as I like him. 

When I’m home, I immediately wash my hands in the bathroom and then step in the kitchen where mom’s waiting for me, ingredients all laid out on the counters. While she makes the main dishes, I help her by cutting the ingredients she needs, preparing the side dishes and the dessert. It’s something we do since I was twelve. She used to need a hand and I was interested in learning how to cook. That’s how we became a great team, fast and coordinated. 

By the time the guests arrive, everything’s ready and set on the table in the living room. 

After lunch, I tell mom and the guests to make themselves comfortable in the living room while I do the cleaning. I make a quick pit stop in my room to grab my earphones, then arm myself with sponge and dish soap to wash the dishes as well as the stove. When I’m done with that, I join the rest in the living room and listen to their stories about the old times, stories I heard thousands of times but never fail to make me smile or crack up at something crazy my parents did when they were about my age. 

Then, my parent’s friends ask me if I already know to which university I should apply and if I’m excited about leaving high school. It’s a topic that makes me a bit nervous but it’s nothing I can’t deal with. 

It’s six in the afternoon when the guests leave and, thank God, I have enough time to get ready. Before showering, I send a text to Wonwoo. 

**Hoshiya**   
_Wonwoo hyung, instead of picking me up at my house can you come at Joshua hyung’s house?_

**Nonu**   
_Yes, sure._  
 _Can I ask you why?_

**Hoshiya**   
_Because if my father spots you, he’ll end up giving you the third degree and we’ll never able to leave._

**Nonu**   
_Hahaha okay then._  
 _See you soon(ie)._

Giddy about texting with him and the nickname, I take my sweet time to wash my body and hair, getting out of the bathroom only when I feel calm enough to cope with the night. 

Once I have dried my hair, I pick the first outfit that comes to my mind: a pair of black skinny jeans with a white-striped blue shirt tucked in it, the same black Chelsea boots as yesterday at my feet. I leave the first to buttons of my shirt open to show a small silver ring swinging from a leather string. For the makeup, I put just a bit of foundation and eye-liner. I spray some perfume and I’m ready to go. 

While grabbing the phone to check the time, a text from Wonwoo arrives. 

**Nonu**   
_I’m coming to Joshua’s house._

**Hoshiya**   
_I’ll be waiting for you there._

Being too nervous to wait at home, I decide it’s better if I already head there. I walk in the living room to notice my parents that I’m going out and they don’t need to wait for me as I’m bringing my keys with me. I also assure them I won’t be late as tomorrow we have school.

My natural fast pace mixed to the nervousness, makes me arrive in front of Joshua’s house in less than it usually takes and, at that moment, Joshua walks out of the front door. 

**“Soons!”** He shouts as he comes to me. 

**“Hi, hyung.”**

**“What are you doing here?”** Joshua is feigning ignorance and I know because of the smile he’s trying to hide. 

**“Waiting for Wonwoo.”** I want to play with him and see until when he intends to pretend. 

**“And why?”**

**“We have to go on a date.”**

**“Oh, really?”** His eyes widen and he brings a hand to his chest in surprise. 

**“As if you don’t know that already,”** I state matter-of-factly, crossing my arms over my chest. 

**“I don’t! How could you think that I’m pretending not to know things?”** His high-pitched voice signals that he got caught red-handed. 

**“You _are_ pretending.”** I roll my eyes before going closer and point a finger at him. **“You’re here, standing before me, because you want to embarrass me or him before the date, right?”**

**“Jeez, I just wanted to send a pic of you two walking next to each other to the group!”** He finally admits. 

**“Don’t you dare!”** I warn him. 

**“Why? I feel like a proud father watching his sons going on a date.”** He wipes away a fake tear. 

**“You know that if you put it like that it’s incest, right?”**

**“You’re the adopted son so it’s not really incest.”** The stoic expression and his tone making it sound like it’s not a joke but the truth. 

**“Why am I the adopted one?”** I whine, offended by the fact he chose Wonwoo over me as the real son. 

He looks at me as the answer is obvious but the asks anyway, **“Who’s the one who lived in Japan until five years ago?”**

**“Okay, fine. I’m the adopted son but please do not send our pic in the group chat! Don’t be the embarrassing dad,”** I plead him, hoping to change his mind. 

**“That’s Seungcheol’s role.”** Joshua looks behind me and smiles as he spots someone. **“Oh, look, Wonwoo’s here.”**

**“Hi, hyung,”** Says Wonwoo from behind me. 

**“Yo, Wonwoo.”** Joshua high-fives him. 

**“Soonie, are you ready to go?”** Wonwoo asks turning towards me and resting his hand on the small of my back.

**“Y-yes,”** I stutter, taken aback by the sudden touch that makes my heart beat so fast I’m afraid it might break my rib-cage. 

**“Have fun you two! Wonwoo, be careful and treat my Soons well.”** Joshua comes closer to pat me on the head. 

**“Don’t worry, hyung. You know he’s in safe hands.”** Wonwoo gives Joshua a reassuring smile and I just melt at the sight, like I always do. 

**“Bye, hyung! See you tomorrow.”**

Wonwoo and I wave one last time at Joshua and then walk away, leaving him behind. I really hope he’s not taking pics of us right now but, knowing him, that’s exactly what he’s doing right now. 

  
  


Our first stop is the cinema and I think it’s as we’re both too shy to have a proper conversation and it will later help to break the ice as we will have a topic to ignite the spark of a conversation. For the whole walk to the cinema, we exchanged just a few words and smiles, too nervous to come up with things to talk about. 

At the cinema, we end up watching a rom-com. Wonwoo insists on paying for the tickets and so I convince him that it’s only fair if I buy the popcorns. When we’re in the theatre, I feel nervous to the point my legs shake as I sit down. I turn towards Wonwoo to hand him the popcorns and he’s looking at me. Under these dim lights, it takes just the tiniest smile of his to make me blush and smile like an idiot. I can’t help but react like this at every action of Wonwoo, too whipped to act like my normal self. 

We were still looking at each other when the lights go out and the movie begins. It was an old movie they were screening again: _50 First Dates_ , a classic when it comes to rom-coms. It basically tells the story of a casanova finally falling in love with a girl. The day after he meets her, they meet again but she doesn’t seem to remember him that’s because, due to an incident she got in a year before, she suffers from a kind of amnesia that makes her forget the events unfolded that same day hence why she doesn’t remember him. When the guy comes to know what happened to her, he tries to win her heart every day in a different way.

I’m crying all of my tears when it comes the part where she decides to leave him so he can live his life in a better way, achieving his goals. Wonwoo, noticing I’m crying a river, doesn’t think about it twice before grabbing my hand and rubbing circles on it to soothe me. He does all of this without tearing his eyes from the screen, not wanting to lose one second of the movie. 

When it ends and the lights are on again, I dry my tears as quickly as I can to look less like a mess. After that, I look down and see that our hands still linked. I can’t help but stare at them with the hint of a smile on my lips. Wonwoo follows my line of sight and his eyes too land on our joint hands. Thinking I may be uncomfortable with that, he quickly lets go of me and I’m kind of saddened at the loss of contact. 

As predicted, it’s when we leave the cinema that we begin talking for real. 

**“Did you like the movie?”** Wonwoo asks genuinely interested in the answer.

**“A lot and you?”**

**“Me too. I didn’t know you could cry that much and that easily though.”** He chuckles, hiding his mouth behind his hand. 

**“I know it’s stupid but when she left him it was so sad because she loved him to the point of letting him go, of wanting him to live a better life without her being a burden to him. Also, when at the end they get married and have a daughter...I couldn’t help but cry because he never stopped loving her and still wanted to be by her side even though their path will be full of obstacles.”** And I’m tearing up again. 

**“It’s not stupid.”** Wonwoo stops to cup my cheeks and wipe the tears away with his thumbs. **“It means you’re sensitive and have a soft heart.”**

**“Do you really think so?”** I sniff and expectantly look at him.

**“Yup and, for the records, you were cute while crying.”** He is still brushing his thumbs on my cheeks when he says, **“You kind of looked like a sad hamster.”**

**“Hey!”** I jokingly hit him on the chest and then chuckle. 

**“Ouch, I’m glad you smiled, though.”** He laughs as well. **“What would you like to do now?”**

**“I don’t know. What you feel like doing?”**

**“What about a walk at the Han River, since we’re near the area?”**

**“I’d love it.”**

**“Let’s go then!”**

As soon as we arrive at the river’s area, all the tension I felt the whole day dissipates leaving space to calmness and happiness. This place is one of my favourites in all Seoul, especially in the nighttime. 

The bridge enlightens and the different light colours reflect in the black waters of the river, making it look like an oil painting and the entire skyline per se it’s breathtaking.

A lot of people come here during the day as well as the night and each one of them seems to be in their own little world, not caring about what’s happening outside their personal bubble. I love it especially because of this. No one seems to care about what you’re doing and doesn’t seem to judge you, too busy enjoying their time there, alone or with their friends or dates. 

I often come here when I have a lot to think about or when I want to be alone. Don’t get me wrong. I love spending time with my friends and family but there are times in which I feel the need of being by myself, left alone with my thoughts and I think there’s no better place than this where you can be surrounded by thousands of people but still able to be alone, not in a sad way, though. 

Wonwoo and I walk to find a bench to sit on and, as we do that, we talk about this and that, commenting once again on the movie. That’s until an idea pops in my mind. 

**“Hey, Wonwoo hyung, what about playing a game to get to know each other?”**

**“What kind of game?”** The glint in his eyes means he’s interested in the proposal. 

**“It’s simple. Basically, each of us has four questions to ask about anything we want and the other has to answer.”**

He thinks about it for a second before nodding. **“I like the idea.”**

**“You start, then.”**

**“Okay, first question. Seaside or countryside?”**

**“Seaside,”** I immediately say, sure about my answer. **“I was born in the countryside so I’ve seen enough of it. I would like to experience more of life at the seaside.”**

**“If you want to, we can go there sometimes,”** he proposed out of nowhere, a bit flustered. 

**“I would very much love it.”** I give him a shy smile, hoping he’ll understand that I mean to go with him at the sea. 

For the next hour, we go back and forth with the questions, finding out a lot about each other. Wonwoo learns about how much I like dancing but have little time to practice it; about my days in Japan; about the days I was a Taekwondo champion. On the other side, I learn how much he loves reading books; how much of a nerd he is and his newly discovered passion for taking pictures. 

**“You know, it doesn’t surprise me that you’re into photography, too,”** I state as I look at the river before us. 

**“How come?”**

**“You seem to love arts. First music, then books and now photography,”** I list them down on my fingers. 

**“But taking pics isn’t my forte. Mingyu is the pro and I’m trying to learn something from him.”**

**“I bet your pics look great. You have great sensitivity and I’m sure it shows in them.”**

**“You have too much faith in me.”** He gives a bitter chuckle, clearly not believing in himself. 

**“Then show me your pics next time we meet.”**

**“I promise I will, so you’ll realise how incompetent I am.”**

**“I’m sure I’ll love them,”** I insist, clearly not wanting to lose against him in stubbornness. 

As we giggle about our fake fight, I check for the time and see that it’s almost one in the morning. I sigh as I put my phone back into the pocket. 

**“I have to go back home. I promised my parents I wouldn’t be late as tomorrow there’s school.”**

Wonwoo grabs the phone to look at the time too. **“Right. I didn’t notice it was already this late. Time really just flew.”**

**“I know right?”** I stand up, ready to go.

**“But what about your question?”** Wonwoo asks confused as he stands up too. 

**“My question?”** I pretend not to understand what he’s talking about. 

**“You have one last question to ask me.”**

To be honest, I was buying time talking to him because I saved the last question for this moment, for when we had to head back home. I wanted to be brave and take advantage of the situation to ask for something I wouldn’t be able to ask otherwise. 

Before speaking, I look at him in the eyes, taking in his features and the way he looks under the different lights coming from the moon, the streets behind him and the bridge behind me. I think I’ll never get tired of admiring him. 

**“As we go home, can you take my hand just like you did at the cinema?”**

**“Uh?”** He looks at me, confused, maybe not sure if he has heard correctly or if his mind made up my words. 

**“This is the last thing I want to ask. Can you hold my hand?”**

Wonwoo looks at my hand for a couple of seconds. I was about to lose hopes and tell me not to mind what I had just blurted out when, without saying nothing, he takes my hand in his and intertwines our fingers. I look at our hands first and then slowly bring my gaze up to look at him who’s smiling at me with the most sincere and loving smile he has ever had, nose scrunching up. 

We walk like that, never loosening the grip on the other’s hand, and talking about little things as well as what we should do for the next date. If we didn’t know better, we would be fooled by ourselves into thinking that we’ve been a couple for more than two days. The idea of that makes me feel so giddy and I look forward to the time I will spend with him. 

I love being with him, everything feels genuine and spontaneous. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_**Jihoon’s point of view** _

It’s around eight in the evening and I’m trying to solve a math problem when my phone repeatedly buzzes. I press the home button so the notifications appear on the screen and see it’s from the group chat. I don’t know what kind of fuss is going on in there but it’s annoying me. 

I’m ready to shout at them to stop writing through a voice note but when I open the chat, the first thing I see it’s a photo Joshua hyung sent. 

It was taken near his house. Soonyoung and Wonwoo are in there, walking with no gap in between their bodies and looking at each other with obvious fondness and love in their eyes. 

Joshua captioned it saying _“Our little babies are all grown up and going on a date. You have a tissue? Because I’m crying.”_

The others all sent heart and crying emojis, saying that they’re finally dating after being dense for so long about each other’s feelings. 

**“So they’re together now. Wonwoo did really man up and asked him out.”** I say out loud to no one since I’m alone in my room. 

I look at the picture again, thinking about what to write to congratulate them. I should be happy for the both of them as they’re able to be with the person they like but why do I feel my heart hurting and my eyes stinging?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What to say...this meeting between Soonyoung and Jihoon, Soonyoung revealing his plan to Seokmin, Shua the proud father, the Soonwoo date. As always, there's a lot going on in the chapter and in the characters' head. What do you think about it?   
> Let me know in the comments! I love reading and replying to your thoughts and theories!! 
> 
> As always, thank you for reading it and I hope to come back with a weekly update!!


	22. Chapter 22

It’s been a couple of months since Wonwoo and I started dating. Things between us do nothing but keep getting better and I really think he’s the kind of man everyone should have by their side. He worries and takes care of me in every way he can and he has been the sweetest, something I had never experienced and never thought I would live. He made me believe that whoever said prince charming isn’t real, well, they simply haven’t met Wonwoo. He’s funny, witty, a perfect gentleman and makes me feel important, needed, as if I am the boy without whom he couldn’t live.

From that night on, we went on so many more dates and each one of them was so special that I engraved them in my heart and memory. The shy glances, the soft touches of our hands, the wide and happy smiles, the sweet words whispered before the goodnight kiss.

Right, the kiss.

The first kiss came naturally after a couple of days.

_____________

_After walking around aimlessly for an hour and still not wanting to go home, Wonwoo and I were at the Dongdaemun Design Plaza to see the LED rose garden. A lot of couples and families were roaming in the garden to take pictures with the pretty and bright white roses or to just admire the beauty of that garden with warm smiles tugging at their lips._

_Convincing Wonwoo to take a selca there was quite easy: big eyes, pout, cheeks slightly puffed and it’s game over for him. He couldn’t say no to that and so there we were, in front of thousands of beaming flowers, trying different angles and different poses until we had the perfect shot: Wonwoo on the front with me on the side, my head leaning on his shoulder and the field full of roses resembling a sky full of stars as our background._

_**“I like this one, a lot.”** Wonwoo had said as he looked at it. “ **We should put this as our lockscreens.”** _

_**“And you say I’m the sappy one.”** I had chuckled and pinched his cheek. _

_**“This place is pretty, isn’t it? I had seen it in the daylight but never at night.”** Wonwoo had grabbed my hand again and looked around him, contently sighing. _

_**“Me neither but I’m glad I got to see it with you.”** Our gazes met and the fondness in Wonwoo’s eyes was so overwhelming I thought I could cry. _

**_“Me too, and, who’s the sappy one now?”_ **

_**“We were having a moment, don’t ruin it!”** I jokingly hit him on the arm and he laughs, rubbing the spot I hit. “ **However, don’t you think it’s cool to have a sky replacement here?”** _

_**“A sky replacement?”** Wonwoo seemed genuinely confused and I couldn’t blame him because my choice of words was the worst. _

_**“Look up at the sky.”** Wonwoo did as I said. **“You cannot see the stars because of the city lights, right?”** _

**_“Right, so?”_ **

**_“This garden full of glowing flowers looks pretty much like the night sky would if we weren’t in the city. Isn’t it cool to see it like this, up close, and imagine if it looks the same up there?”_ **

_**“I think it is.”** Wonwoo lowered his head to meet my eyes again. **“But I don’t think I care about the far-away stars.”** _

_**“Uh? What do you mean?”** _

_He lifted his hand to cup my cheek and I leaned in the touch. **“How could I care about the other stars when I have** _ **my** _**star here, right in front of me? No star in the sky and no rose in this garden can compare with your brightness and with how much light you had brought in my life.”** _

_I was left speechless, breathless as I looked at him, the white lights from the flowers around us making him glow and, at that moment, my heart felt too big for my chest but too small to handle all the kind of things I was feeling._

_Wonwoo, knowing my silence was actually because I was panicking inside, leans in. As our faces were inching closer, shivers ran up and down my spine and my heart could as well be Usain Bolt for how fast it was running. When our lips finally touched, my eyes closed on their own, wanting not to see him kissing me but feeling him kissing me and, I swear, the stars in the sky didn’t matter to me anymore._

_____________

  


However, during this time, my relationship with Wonwoo isn’t the only thing who got better.

Jihoon and I are finally friends.

After telling Seokmin what my intentions were, I felt like a new fire was burning inside me and gave me the determination to achieve my goal. I came with a plan of winning his heart and trust by being more kind to him; making the effort of being the first one starting a conversation; bringing him snacks when he would write in the group chat (Jeonghan’s bitches members, Seokmin and I have a group chat) that he skipped breakfast so he wouldn’t be late at school or cooking something delicious to share at lunch when he came over to our table or when we would go at the rehearsals.

I still remember the look he had on his face when I brought him breakfast for the first time.

_____________

**_Kwannie:  
_ ** _Morning y’all!_   
_The sun is up!_   
_Are you ready for today?_   
_Do you want me to sing you a song to happily start the day?_

**_Hoshiya:  
_ ** _Morniiing!_

 **_Pupgyu:  
_ ** _Shut up, Boo._

 **_Kwannie:  
_ ** _I’m not talking, I’m writing so I don’t have to shut up._

 **_Pupgyu:  
_ ** _Then stop writing and typing.  
It’s still too early for this. _

**_Woozy:  
_ ** _If you two won’t stop, I’ll have you killed before the sun sets._

 **_DadCheol:  
_ ** _Jihoon, they’re your hyungs._

 **_Woozy:  
_ ** _Hyungnim-deul, I’ll kill you.  
Happy, Cheol hyung? _

**_DadCheol:  
_ ** _That’s not what I meant but I appreciate the effort._

 **_Woozy:  
_ ** _Thank you._  
 _Now, please stop spamming._  
 _You’re distracting me and I’ll end up being late at school._

 **_1004Han:  
_ ** _You’re already late._

 **_Woozy:  
_ ** _Oh shit!  
Guess I have to skip breakfast. _

**_Joshuji:  
_ ** _Language._

_Joshua and I were on the way to school when this conversation took place._

_**“Ah, Jihoon is going to skip breakfast again.”** Joshua sighed as he pocketed his phone. _

**_“What do you mean by again?”_ **

**_“It’s not the first time he’s late for school and when he’s late he never takes his breakfast. The same it goes sometimes with lunch and dinner.”_ **

**_“He shouldn’t skip his meals.”_ **

_**“I know, right? I keep telling him so but he ignores my words, saying he doesn’t need to eat a lot of food in order to live. He’s a lost cause,”** Joshua said as he shook his head and stopped in front of the cafè nearby our school. **“Usual caramel macchiato?”** _

_I thought about it for a while and ended up saying. **“Yes, and can you buy me two chocolate muffins?”** _

_**“May I know why?”** Joshua looked at me, right eyebrow arched. _

_**“Because I’m hungry, hyung. You ate all of my breakfast early and left me with nothing! It’s only fair if you buy me some muffins!”** I whined as I shoved him inside and followed him in the shop to choose the two biggest muffins they had. _

_Jihoon, contrary to what I had expected, was already in the classroom when I walked in. He looked tired having probably run all the way from his house. His head was resting on top of his folded arms over the desk, his eyes were closed so he didn’t see me coming. Luckily, Seokmin hadn’t called out my name or else I would’ve lost the surprise effect. I drew closer to his side of the desk and let the box fall in front of his eyes. He had jumped, scared it was the teacher._

_**“Kwon, what the fuck? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”** He had asked, massaging the area over his chest as to make his heart decelerate. _

_**“No, I was trying to give you this.”** I had gone round him to reach my seat and pointed at the box before sitting down. _

**_“What is it?”_ **

_**“Open it and you’ll know.”** _

_Jihoon had taken the box in his hands, shaking it a bit as he tried to guess what was inside of it. He hesitantly opened it, afraid of it being a prank and to make a fool out of himself. However, what he saw inside left him confused and speechless._

_**“You don’t like muffins?”** I had asked, worried due to Jihoon’s expression. _

_**“I like them. It’s just…”** He had taken a pause. **“Why?”** _

**_“You said you skipped breakfast and you shouldn’t. It’s the most important meal of the day, so go on and eat.”_ **

_Jihoon had remained silent, looking from the box of muffins to me. **“Thank you,”** He simply said taking one of the muffins and giving it a big bite. _

**_“Don’t mention it. From today on, remember to eat and if you’re late, just tell me and I’ll buy you more of these.”_ **

_Jihoon only nodded his head, not wanting to risk to choke on food as he spoke. I was contently watching him as he ate, feeling like I made a big step forward._

_____________

My plan was a success considering that now, we don’t fight every three seconds; he asks me about my dates with Wonwoo; we give each other advice on what kind of gifts buying for our partners and on how to make up after a fight.

What surprised me, Seokmin and of course the rest of our class and school was that he was still together with Chanyeol. Don’t get us wrong, we’re all glad they’re still together and happy but it was a big shock for everyone.

Chanyeol was known to be a casanova who had no care in the world but for his own desires, he wouldn’t care less about feelings if they weren’t his (and honestly, we all thought he hadn’t feelings at all considering how he treated people). However, it looks like love really came to him in the form of Lee Jihoon who tamed the taller’s spirit.

Despite being friendly with the rest of the group, Chanyeol still seems to partly hate me for an unknown reason.

Back to Jihoon and me, being seat-buddies isn’t a pain in the ass like it was before, on the contrary, the teachers would very much like to split us due to how much we talk.

At some point, even though they had already understood it, I told Joshua and Seokmin and their reaction was exactly what I had expected.

_____________

_**“So, I have something to tell you”** , I had started one Sunday morning, when Joshua had joined Seokmin and me at the cafè. _

_**“Wha-”** _

_**“Don’t. Let** **me** **talk first and then you’ll ask questions.”** I knew Joshua was just going to ask what it was the thing I wanted to tell, but that came out very naturally. **“You probably already know, but Jihoon and I are finally friends.”** _

_**“Of course, we knew it. Do you think we hadn’t noticed?”** Seokmin asked, gesturing towards Joshua to proceed and say something. _

_**“You know, it’s not hard to notice when you two used to fight every time you breathed and now you don’t.”** Joshua then added, **“Seokmin has even told me that you two talk and laugh quite a lot during classes.”** _

_**“But it wasn’t surprising. Literally no one was shocked by the sight of you and Jihoon getting along. We all knew this was going to happen,”** Seokmin said after taking a sip of his caramel macchiato. _

_**“Yeah, we told you that it was just a matter of time before you softened. We were right and you were wrong.”** Joshua suddenly raised his hand, waiting for Seokmin to high-five him but the latter was too focused on wiggling his eyebrows to me to notice the waiting hand. Joshua eventually gave up, awkwardly looking around and clapping his hands together. _

_**“I expected that at least you would’ve pretended to be surprised by the news.”** I had snorted and drank my coffee, feigning disappointment. _

_**“This is going to be the start of something great.”** _

_____________

  


Of course, for the first week, I had gone through hell because of the evil duo Joshua-Seokmin. They wouldn’t stop telling me they were right about us becoming friends, that Jihoon was too hard to resist.

They threw out all kind of things but I knew they were just as happy as me that it happened.

  
  
  


Jihoon and I get on really well and realised we indeed share so many interests which brought us even closer.

Lately, as a group, we’re hanging out more often than we used to do before because, let’s be honest, everyone knew it would’ve been awkward sitting with us fighting and picking on each other. But now, watching Joshua spending time with Seokmin and me as well as his friends warms my heart.

Sometimes Jihoon and I even hang out alone, without the rest of the group.

We would go to the noraebang after classes to sing and dance like madmen, going back home with our bellies hurting from laughing too much.

We would eat at some stalls on the way home or in some new fast food place, ordering way too much food than we could actually eat, caught up in the excitement of trying new things.

We would sip our hot drinks and warm up in the familiar environment of _“Coffee & Goodpie”_ or enjoy some dessert and sweet drinks while feeling the old-but-gold songs playing at _“Vinyl Art”_.

We would wander in the neighbourhood’s park and end up playing with the kids or walk until we reached the park nearby the Han River and just stay there, laying on the grass and sharing a blanket as we watched the people come and go in that cold weather, sometimes even ordering food.

On the coldest days, when it was impossible going out, we would study together at my or his house and re-watching some of the animes which marked our childhood or a classic the other had yet to watch.

I’ve never been this happy and I’ve never felt this loved by someone who’s not my family and it’s all thanks to these people who slowly came to be an important part of my life and I hope the feeling is mutual as I work hard to be there for them and make them feel loved too.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Despite not having slept in the same house, Joshua and I arrive pretty early at school. Joshua said he had some more work to do and wanted to clock in as soon as the school opened so he wouldn’t spend the entire day in the library but, at the same time, he didn’t want me to come alone. In the end, I gave up on some sleep to accommodate his request and, because of that, it’s not a surprise Jihoon isn’t at the gates.

Well, no one was around apart from those early birds who like the morning quietness of the halls and classrooms, which I have to admit is satisfying: no one yelling or fighting or running.

I wait for Seokmin so that we can reach the classroom together. As our class is empty apart from us to, I sit next to Seokmin’s desk. We were basking in the silence until one of our classmates walks in and reminds us of what day is today.

**“Shit, I had totally forgotten that our English project starts today!”** I groan and hide my face behind my hands.

**“Me too. How could we? Mrs Kim has done nothing but talking about it.”** Seokmin is so close to repeatedly bang his head on the desk.

**“I know right!”** I sigh and look at the desk but my eyes had lost focus. **“Do you think we can pair up for this one?”**

**“I don’t know, man. I think it depends on what method she has decided to use this year.”**

**“I really hope we can work together. Last year, we aced it.”**

**“We got lucky with the topic. We both liked Robin Hood and aced because we even played a scene from the Disney movie.”** Seokmin remembered and laughed at the Robin-Hood-inspired hats we wore.

**“True. Maybe this year we can work on another interesting topic and get full marks again, who knows,”** I say, shrugging my shoulders.

As we were talking, our classmates came and they filled in the empty classroom. It soon comes the time for me to leave Seokmin as the owner of the desk I was sitting at arrives.

Now alone and without any distraction, I keep glancing at the door waiting for Jihoon to walk. When I last checked the time, it wouldn’t be long until the bell rang.

_‘If he doesn’t come right away, we’re in trouble. I don’t know if he’ll come in late or won’t come at all. If I try to cover for him and he comes in later, the teacher will scold both of us just like she did last time.’_

At that moment, Jihoon’s figure emerges from the door and I sigh in relief. He sprints over to our desk, throws his bag on the floor and himself on the chair, sprawling the upper part of his body on the desk. He’s panting and there’s a sheen layer of sweat on his forehead.

**“Thought you wanted to skip classes,”** I say while rummaging in my backpack, looking for a small white and light blue box.

**“I would’ve..told you...or else...how would you have covered for me?”** He manages to say in between deep breaths. 

**“Because that’s my only job here, cover for you when you skip classes and…”** I finally find the box and hand him to Jihoon. **“...to buy you breakfast.”**

Jihoon’s eyes widen as he takes the muffin out of the box. **“How did you know I skipped breakfast?”**

**“Sixth sense.”** I smile at him who’s already devouring the muffin as the lesson will start any moment now.

**“Thank you and, by the way, I cover for you too, don’t make me look like the bad guy here.”** Some crumbs got stuck at the left corner of his mouth but Jihoon seems not to feel them. 

**“You have a point.”** I chuckle while handing him a napkin. Jihoon, taking the hint, wipes his mouth. **“Well, won’t you go say hi to Chanyeol?”** I nod my head towards the mentioned boy.

**“Nope, we have fought yesterday,”** Jihoon says, remaining composed.

I roll my eyes as we’re back at this, again. **“What have you done this time?”**

**“Nothing, I swear!”** Jihoon puts his left hand up and the right one on his heart. **“He got mad because I told I don’t want to be paired up with him for our English project.”**

**“And why would you say that?”**

**“Because we would surely get distracted by other…”** he trails off, trying to think of an appropriate word to say it **“...things and I want to focus.”**

**“Since when are you interested in focusing and studying?”** I ask baffled by his lie.

**“Since always?”** His voice rising in a question but it’s to point out that his answer is obvious.

I laugh out loud. Some of our classmates turn towards us, interested in what made me laugh. **“Don’t make this kind of jokes first thing in the morning.”**

**“It’s true even if it doesn’t seem so, I care about my grades.”** He puffs his cheeks, annoyed and this time, I can’t help but poke them

**“Okay, I’ll believe you.”**

The bell rings and the English teacher walks in. The first few minutes are spent taking attendance and then she proceeds by listing the different topics we will handle with this project.

**“It will be due to next week and the presentation needs to last a maximum of fifteen minutes per pair.”** Mrs Kim says before calling the students one by one so they can choose their partner and give them the book serving as a base for their research.

As she scans the room, her eyes land on Jihoon.

**“Mr Lee, who do you want your partner to be?”** She asks, a smirk on her face.

**“Kwon Soonyoung, if it’s possible, Mrs Kim.”** He says, unfazed by the gasps and whispers of the other students who expected Jihoon to choose his boyfriend.

**“Eh?”** I look at him, panicked, hoping he will understand it’s a bad choice. He has to change his mind before a murder would be committed in this very classroom.

**“Sure it is. You will work on _‘Pride and Prejudice’_ by Jane Austen.”** She writes down our names and book on the paper in front of her before looking at us, again. **“Make sure you’ll do an amazing job with it, I expect a lot from you two.”**

**“We won’t disappoint you, Mrs Kim.”**

All the time Jihoon spoke with the teacher, my gaze has been frozen on Jihoon. A part of me wants to look away but I know that as soon as I tear my eyes from him, I will be met with Chanyeol’s deathly stare, which, I’m pretty sure, is already on me. Maybe Chanyeol, just like me, still expected Jihoon to choose him despite their fight. But no. Jihoon had to sign my death sentence like that.

As soon as I recover from the shock and the teacher officially starts the lesson, I furiously scribble on a piece of paper I then pass to Jihoon.

**_Ya! Are you crazy?  
Why do you want Chanyeol to hate me more than he already does? _ **

_**I don’t care about what he thinks.**  
**I want you to be my partner.** _

This kid is crazy. He does what he wants, telling the teacher we will pair up without consulting me and he doesn’t even worry about my wellbeing? I’ll have to watch my back and sleep with an open eye because of him.

_**I do care about staying alive, though.** _

_**Look, I want a good mark for this project and I can’t achieve that if Chanyeol’s my partner.** _

_**If I die today, you can say goodbye to your plan and you’ll have my death on your conscience.** _

_**I will make sure he kills you after the project.** _

_**Oh, so you want to take advantage of my brain and then abandon me to certain death?  
What a great friend I have. ** _

Jihoon snickers at the message, amused by my overdramatic reaction.

_**I know I am.**  
**However, we got lucky with the topic.** _

_**What do you mean?** _

_**It’s on Pride and Prejudice and you love that book.** _

My eyes widen and I can only stare at the words scribbled on the paper for a while before replying.

_**How do you know?** _

_**I assumed it when I noticed how worn out is the book in your room.** _

_**Why do you keep invading my privacy?** _

_**Because you invade mine when we’re at my place.** _

_**Touché.** _

The teacher turns around the moment I pass Jihoon the last note and judging by the glare she shoots at us, it’s better if we stop and focus on the lesson.

However, I immediately look outside the window and end up getting lost in my thoughts. I see Jihoon walking in my room, eyes darting from a shelf to another. He did that to kill time when I had to step out to take some snacks or because mom needed my help but I never thought he had paid so much attention to what I had on those shelves. So I am genuinely shocked by the fact he had noticed the condition of my copy of _“Pride and Prejudice”_.

I came across the book during my first year back in Seoul and irremediably feel in love with it, with the twist of the events in the two main characters’ love story. Mr Darcy rejecting to dance with Elizabeth at a ball because she wasn’t pretty enough but then falling in love with her the moment he sees her in her not prettiest state: mud on her dress and messy hair as she walked for miles on foot to visit her ill sister.   
From then on, the two of them often clash because of their pride and their prejudices but Mr Darcy eventually confesses. Elizabeth was then the one rejecting him because of a misunderstanding resulting in them fighting.  
However, Elizabeth changes her mind the moment Mr Darcy gives her a letter, explaining the truth behind a man whom they both knew and who was the cause of their misunderstanding. After reading the letter, it’s too late for them to meet.  
Some time later, Elizabeth happens to visit Mr Darcy estate, knowing the owner wouldn’t be there. Fate, though, wanted them to meet again because Mr Darcy came back and their feelings couldn’t be hidden anymore, feelings that keep on growing when Darcy steps in to help Elizabeth’s little sister who had run away from home with her “lover”.  
When problems are solved, Elizabeth has to face Mr Darcy’s aunt who doesn’t want her to accept Mr Darcy’s marriage proposal but she refuses and she indeed marry him not out of wealth as her father believed but out of love.

And love is the main theme Jihoon and I have to work on. The three kinds of love that appear in the novel.

At first, when he insisted on being paired up with me, I thought it was because he wanted me to do the hard work while he lazed around. However, I’m glad I was wrong. Throughout the entire week, we had perfect teamwork.

The topics were split by days as we had to run a precise research for each of the three couples: the _Jane - Mr Bingley_ couple, the ones who represent true love free from the very start of the novel; the _Elizabeth - Mr Darcy_ couple, whose love had been hindered by the pride and prejudices of the two characters; the _Lizzy - Mr Wickham_ couple, the ones who end up together not because of love but to prevent rumours from spreading as they had run away together.

These researches had covered the first three days and the other three we had to put all the things together, write the essay and read it out loud to see if we exceeded the time limit.

It all went so smooth that we even had time to hand out with the others or by ourselves when we needed a break.

The day before the presentation, we had only the PowerPoint left to do. Jihoon is going to come over right after classes so we can work on it.

However, it’s been two hours since school ended and Jihoon is still not here.

We had walked home together, but once we were outside my door, he told me he would go home to shower and change clothes before coming back again. Two hours seems too long for that, though.

I’ve been texting him for the past thirty minutes and even tried to call him but he doesn’t answer any of that.

As I wait, I decide to put my pyjamas on and then wait for him on the couch while watching an episode of some random anime.

_‘If he’s not here at seven o’clock, he’s a dead man and I’m going to erase his name from the presentation.’_

After more or less thirty minutes, the doorbell rings noticing that Jihoon’s finally here. When I open the door, he’s smiling as if he wasn’t gone for almost three hours.

**“Thought I got lucky and some aliens had abducted you while showering,”** I say with no hint of a joke on my face, leaning on the doorframe with all my body. 

**“You’re right. I’ve been abducted but not by aliens.”** Jihoon is rocking on heels, hands hidden behind his back.

**“May I know by whom?”**

**“Chanyeol. He wanted me to help him choose a gift to buy for his friend’s birthday and then to walk him home.”** He brings one of his hands to his nape and rubs it out of embarrassment.

Of course, it was Chanyeol. The whole week they could barely meet and I can understand they had missed each other. But I’m sure he didn’t like that I was spending more time with his boyfriend than he did. 

**“You could’ve let me know, I would’ve started working on the PowerPoint or at least do something else instead of laze on the couch as I waited for you.”**

**“As if you wouldn’t have lazed around anyway.”**

I scoff. **“You’re lazy just like me, so you don’t have a say in this.”**

**“Yeah, but can we, like, talk inside? I’m slowly becoming an icicle out here.”**

Now that Jihoon mentioned it, I feel a shiver run down my spine realising I am in the cold weather with only my pyjamas on and no slippers at my feet.

**“I would like to let you freeze because you had almost ditched me but I still need you tomorrow.”**

**“And I know you wouldn’t let these amazing odeng freeze, am I right?”** He finally moves his hands from behind his back, revealing a black plastic bag containing the food. 

**“You know I could take the bag inside and lock you out, right?”**

Jihoon laughs out loud as I grab the bag full of odeng from his hands and step aside so he can walk in. As he takes his shoes and coat off, I take a stick from the bag and almost devour it. It’s still hot so I end up burning my tongue.

**“I’d say I chose the right method to apologise,”** Jihoon says, still busy untying his shoelaces and not looking at me stuffing my face.

**“Yo..re..ight,”** I try to answer but my mouth is too full to do that.

**“You’re already eating them?”**

I swallow the food in my mouth before answering, **“I couldn’t resist.”** Then, I take another big bite of the odeng.

He smiles. **“Eat a lot.”**

Jihoon is about to pinch my cheek when he realises I would splutter food around and so he goes for a pat on my shoulder.

He heads in the kitchen to greet my mom who’s currently cooking dinner.

**“Good evening, Mrs Kwon.”** He bows his head to her.

**“Oh, Jihoon! We were waiting for you!”** She beams at the sight of the shorter, standing still in the middle of the room. **“Have dinner with us.”**

**“I would like to if it’s not too much of a disturb for you.”**

**“It’s not like he can choose to have dinner here or not,”** I chirp in their conversation. **“We have a project to finish.”**

**“Good for me then as I’ll have some good company tonight.”** Yes, my mom adores Jihoon and when he stays over for dinner, she does nothing but overfeeding him and talking his ear off which Jihoon seems enjoying as he comes back for more. **“Now, you better study or I won’t feed you any of this fantastic kimchi stew I’m making.”**

**“Yes, mom. Don’t forget to cook some extra rice for Jihoon. He loves it.”** At that, Jihoon hits me, embarrassed.

**“I could never forget that.”**

After giving us some almonds to snack on and two cans of coke, mom sends us in my room so she can finish cooking and we can finish this project.

For the next two hours, we rehearse our speech, coming up with questions the teacher may ask us, make an outline for the PowerPoint and then immediately work on it.

As my dad is taking a look at a document from his laptop, we are currently using mine. Jihoon is typing on the keyboard as he’s a faster writer and I dictate the quotes from the book he should write down as well as our considerations, our ideas regarding that kind of love we’re discussing.

We’re both on my bed. Jihoon has his back leaning on the headboard, pillow on his lap with my laptop balanced on it. I am laying on the bed, on my right side so I can face Jihoon as I read the paper and check how he’s doing with the slides.

**“Don’t you think we’re a bit like Jane and Mr Bingley?”** I suddenly ask when we finish with the first topic.

**“What do you mean?”** Jihoon asks confused.

**“I mean, Wonwoo and I fit in this category of love and so do you and Chanyeol.”**

**“What makes you think that we fall in the category of true love?”** Jihoon closes the laptop and places it on the top of the chair standing next to him. He lays down, pillow under his head and rolling on his left side.

**“Because in both cases is a genuine love born due to our compatibility with the other. There was no pride or prejudice involved, especially in your case. There was a lot of shit about Chanyeol but you never cared and dated him.”** I say as I turn around to put the essay sheets on the bedside table and then face Jihoon again.

**“But don’t you think it’s too early to talk about true love? What if they aren’t our true love?”**

**“You don’t love Chanyeol?”** I ask him back, not answering his questions.

**“I don’t know. I like him but I don’t think I love him.”** He brings his right hand under the pillow, while the left one is laying on the bed, next to my hand. **“I feel good when I’m with him but love should be more than that, right?”**

**“Hmm, what do you think love is, then?”** I shift closer to him, eager to hear what he has to say.

**“I think love is about feeling giddy and nervous at the idea of meeting your significant other but being calm and comfortable when you’re actually with them. Love shouldn’t make you be impulsive, shouldn’t make you feel like you want to change for the other person. You feel loved for who you are and not for who they want you to be. You experience a bit of jealousy every now and then but, still, you have complete trust in them, knowing they won’t betray you because they love you too much, because they don’t want to see you hurt. True love isn’t all passionate and rough, true love is calm and makes you feel at peace, makes you feel that you’ve finally found the perfect other half of your heart. True love is the warmth your partner emanates, making you want to feel no other warmth but theirs for the rest of your life. You don’t need someone else when you find your true love.”** Jihoon’s eyes were glued to mine as he spoke and I couldn’t tear my gaze away from his.

**“You seem to have already experienced this true love you’re talking about.”** I notice that a strand of his hair is out of place and I reach out to fix it, fingers lingering two seconds longer on his forehead, touching his fair skin.

**“Maybe I have. Maybe I still have to fall in love.”**

We stay like that, faces closer to the point I can clearly see the mole under his eye, I can feel his breath on my skin. Our eyes still locked, barely blinking as if not to miss a second of each other who are enveloped in the silence of the room.

Jihoon’s hand moves forward as if to grab my hand but my mother’s voice calling for us pops the invisible bubble which was surrounding us, making Jihoon retract his hand.

What is this bitterness I feel? Why did I want him to grab my hand?

  
  
  


At the table, as foreshadowed, my mom keeps giving Jihoon food even when he’s obviously full and talks to him only, blatantly ignoring dad and me. When I manage to stop mom from torturing Jihoon, we offer our help to do the dishes but, once again, she sends us off in my room.

To be faster and to fight the awkwardness from before, we work with two laptops, splitting the remaining slides which have yet to be made and then copy-pasting them in one spreadsheet. At one point, near eleven o’clock, my parents walk in my room to wish us a good night.

**“Jihoon, are you sure you don’t want to sleep here?”** My mom asks when she sees his tired face.

**“I’m sure, Mrs Kwon. I have already inconvenienced you way too much by coming late and staying for dinner.”**

**“You’re not an inconvenience. It’s our pleasure to have you here so you’re welcome to stay here the night.”** Mom gives him a big smile which Jihoon can’t help but return and, with that being said, she leaves us alone.

To be sure we won’t disturb my parent’s sleep as we tap our fingers on the keyboard and with occasional banter, we go working in the living room. Jihoon is sitting cross-legged on the couch while I’m on the floor, laptop placed on the coffee table and back facing the couch.

We work in complete silence, totally absorbed by what we’re doing, talking just when we’re checking if we missed something or quarrelling about the number of animations put in just one slide. When Jihoon finishes his part of the slides, he sends me an email with the file attached to it. As I copy-paste the slides on the main spreadsheet, I notice there are a lot of typos.

**“Jihoon, why haven’t you checked the slides before sending them? It’s full of typos.”**

No answer.

**“Jihoon?”**

I turn around and see he had fallen asleep. Sending him home would be the right thing to do but I don’t have the heart to wake him up when he’s sleeping already this tight. He didn’t hear me speaking, meaning he was far away in dreamland. That’s why I simply arrange the pillows, grab the laptop from his hands and help him laying down on the couch. I go taking the blankets from my room and tuck him under them.

He looks so serene while sleeping, almost adorable.

While I’m busy fixing the blankets around him, he makes a weird face to which I can’t help but laugh risking to wake him up. To avoid that or further damage, I go back to my place on the floor, leaning my back on the couch Jihoon’s sleeping on and finish the PowerPoint.

Needless to say that being alone makes it harder to stay awake so I end up falling asleep with the computer on my lap and head resting on the cushion behind me, next to Jihoon’s head.

That night, I sleep the tightest I had ever done in the past few weeks. Jihoon’s presence and faint fragrance being strangely comfortable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally back and I'm sorry it has to be with a chapter which is a little bit of a filler. It's just that sometimes it's difficult to find enough time to update both this au and the other one on twt as they both have a kind of tricky plot. I still try to update this one as soon as possible as I really enjoy writing about the dynamics of the different characters and I hope you'll stick with me because the real thing will start real soon!
> 
> However, talking about the chapter, there was a huge fast-forward of two months and many things have changed during that time. What do you think about these Soonyoung and Jihoon? Their relationship is the one which developed the most and who knows where it's going to bring them. 
> 
> Leave comments with your ideas, theories or about whether you liked or not the chapter. I love reading and replying to your comments! 
> 
> If you want to check the twitter au, here's the link [**Meet my eyes**](https://twitter.com/angstylene/status/1107219088776937473)  
> 


	23. Chapter 23

It’s morning and the alarm goes off really loud. 

Without opening my eyes, I throw my hand on the left where the bedside table is so I can grab my phone and stop that infernal ringtone. After a while, when I can’t find neither my phone nor the bedside table, my eyes flutter open and I realise I’m not in my room.  
Scanning the room and my surroundings, I finally understand that I’m currently in the living room and that I fell asleep while sitting and with my back leant on the sofa. It’s when I feel the weight of a hand in my hair that I turn around and see Jihoon sleeping on the sofa. It seems like he’s a heavy sleeper and can’t hear the alarm at all. 

I turn towards the coffee table and see my phone there, next to my laptop whose screen was still on. I turn the alarm off and look at the computer, trying to make out the words written on the open file. 

_ ‘Jane Austen? Pride and Prejudice?’ _

That’s when the dots finally connect in my mind and remember about the PowerPoint.  
Panicking, I wake Jihoon up. 

**“Jihoon.”** I put my hand on his back as he’s sleeping on his stomach and lightly tap there to wake him up. 

**“Mmmh.”** He stirs in his sleep.

**“Jihoon.”** My voice goes up of an octave and my hand reaches his shoulder to shake him. 

**“Mmmmmh.”** He keeps stirring but his eyes won’t open.

**“LEE JIHOON WAKE UP.”** I finally yell and that seems to work because Jihoon’s eyes immediately open and he jolts up, sitting on the sofa. 

**“Uh? Soonyoung? What are you doing at my house?”** He asks with a low and raspy voice, rubbing the sleep away from his left eye. 

**“Yes, I’m Soonyoung and you are the one who’s at my house.”**

**“Eh?”** Jihoon’s eyes go wide, probably thinking that I am trying to pull a prank on him. 

I sigh and really want to look serious right now, but his confused face makes me chuckle. **“Look around if you don’t believe me.”**

Jihoon does as he’s told and after studying the room, he says, **“Oh, right.”** He looks at me with the same confused face as before. **“What am I doing here?”**

**“Are you kidding me?”** I start but then remember that I was the same as him a while ago, not understanding why I was in this room. **“You fell asleep on the couch after finishing your slides.”**

**“Why didn’t you wake me up?”**

**“Because I didn’t have the heart to do that. You looked so serene in your sleep.”** The tip of Jihoon’s ears is red, probably embarrassed at himself and at how easily he fell asleep. I smile at him and we almost lose ourselves in that comfortable atmosphere surrounding us but then I remember the reason why I was panicking. **“Jihoon, we have a problem.”** I take a deep breath and say, **“I couldn’t finish the PowerPoint.”**

At those words, Jihoon seems to come to his senses. 

**“Oh, shit.”** He runs a hand through his hair, panic evident on his face, too. **“How did it happen?”**

**“I fell asleep too.”**

**“I can tell that by your hair. You have a birds nest on your head.”** Jihoon’s laugh is lower than usual, still coated in sleepiness. 

**“Jihoon, this is not the time to mock my hair.”**

**“No, it’s not,”** He nods in agreement. **“What should we do?”**

**“Let’s do this. You’ll go upstairs and wash up and, in the meantime, I’ll finish the presentation. For breakfast, there are some cereals in the cupboard next to the fridge. While I get changed, you can have those,”** I explain my sudden plan and I am quite satisfied by it. At least I know that in case of an emergency, I can come up with good plans rather easily. 

**“What about my uniform and underwear? We’re going to be late if I have to go back home and get dressed there. Plus, I’m pretty sure everyone in there is still sleeping.”**

_ ‘Dammit, I knew there was something I was forgetting.’  _

**“For the underwear, you can take mine. You can find it in the last drawer of my closet.”** One problem solved, I think about the second problem when Joshua pops in my mind. **“Joshua should still have his uniform. I’ll text him so he can bring it.”** I stand up and help Jihoon standing up too before pushing him towards the staircase. **“Hurry up, though. We’re already running late!”**

Without saying another word, Jihoon rushes upstairs, climbing the stairs two at the time. As soon as he disappears, I take my phone and text Joshua. 

**Hoshiya:**  
_There’s an emergency._

**Joshuji:**  
_What do I need to do?_

**Hoshiya:**  
_Be here in less than 10 minutes if you can and bring your old uniform._

**Joshuji:**  
_Why?_

**Hoshiya:**  
_I’ll tell you later._  
_Now, come. Quickly._

I don’t even check if he replies or not because I know that, in no time, he will be here, knocking at the door. Curiosity will take the best of him and make him come as soon as possible.

Tossed my phone on the couch, I immediately work on the PowerPoint, pasting the last slides, correcting all the typos and reviewing it a couple of times more. 

Probably because I was too focused on the presentation or because the loud sound of my typing on the keyboard was filling my ears, but I hadn’t noticed Jihoon’s presence in the room. It’s only when I hear him coughing that I take my eyes off of the screen and see him, proudly standing in the middle of the living room with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. From his wet hair, droplets of water fall on his shoulders and run down his pale skin. 

**“Are you crazy?! Put something on!”** I shriek, quickly returning my eyes on the laptop and feeling my face burning in embarrassment.

**“I have a towel on.”**

**“It’s not enough,”** I say, trying to hide my face behind the screen so I won’t see Jihoon and Jihoon won’t see me. 

**“What?”** He chuckles. **“My handsomeness and body made you shy?”**

I snort and bite him back. “ **Handsomeness, my foot.”**

**“I know, I have that effect.”** From the tone of his voice, I can imagine the smirk he surely has plastered on that face of his.

**“Stop it! Go upstairs and wear my bathrobe!”**

**“Why? I’m comfortable like this.”** He’s still mocking me and it’s driving me crazy. Why can’t he just listen to me?

**“Joshua will be here any minute now, what would he think if he sees you like this?”** I hope he notices the desperation in my tone. 

**“Afraid he will misunderstand?”**

**“You’re not?!”** Frustrated, I look at him again but regret it immediately.    
He’s leaning with his back on the side of the dining table, arms crossed over his chest. The light coming from outside hits his wet skin, making him glow. He looks ethereal like that and I have to avert my gaze once again before my brain becomes mush. **“Knowing Joshua, this would slip out of his mouth the very moment we’re with Wonwoo and Chanyeol.”**

There's a beat of silence before Jihoon sighs. **“Okay, I’ll do as you say.”**

I hear him climbing the stairs and, not even a minute later, I see him coming down with my red robe on. With long strides and a smile on his lips, he comes towards me. 

**“Happy now?”**

**“Yes, thank you,”** I say as I get up from the floor, feeling my legs a bit numb.

**“You know, your face is the same colour of your robe.”** He teases and laughs at me.

**“Stop it!”** I whine and hit Jihoon on the arm before sending him to the kitchen so he can have breakfast. 

Once I copy the file on two different pen drives, I put one in my bag and the other one in Jihoon’s. 

It’s my turn to wash up and get dressed and I need to be even faster than Jihoon as it won’t take too much before Joshua arrives and we need to leave for school. Luckily, he rings the bell the moment I come back into the living room. 

When I open the door, Joshua is all smiles. 

**“Morning, Soons!”** His face is the one of someone who’s waiting for the tea to be spilt. 

**“Morning, hyung.”**

**“Wait, why are you ready?”** He asks after noticing that I’m currently wearing my uniform. 

**“Because your uniform it’s not for me to wear. Did you bring it?”**

Joshua lifts the bag with the clothes **“Why do you need it then?”**

**“Come in, I’ll explain everything to you.”**

The moment Joshua steps in and toes his shoes off, Jihoon walks out of the kitchen. His robe had loosened resulting in one of the sleeves falling and revealing his collarbone. Joshua looks at Jihoon, then at me, then Jihoon again, then me again. Before he could ask something, I snatch the bag from his hands, give it to Jihoon who, for the fifth time that morning, climbs the stairs without saying a word. 

**“Wait a minute,”** Joshua says and Jihoon freezes on the stairs. 

**“It’s not what you’re thinking.”** I wave my hands in front of Joshua’s face to stop his train of thoughts.

**“What are _you_ thinking, Soonyoung?”** Jihoon asks from his spot on the stairs, smirking and clearly waiting for me to get flustered.

**“Shut up and dress already.”** My teeth hurting from how gritted they are and Jihoon runs away with his tail between his legs.

**“ _This_ ”** Joshua points at me and then at the direction where Jihoon has disappeared **“needs an explanation.”**

**“Let’s go, I’ll give you some coffee first.”**

We’re sitting at the table in the kitchen and Joshua is drinking his cup of coffee while I tell him why Jihoon is here wearing a bathrobe. 

**“So he fell asleep here while working for your project.”**

**“Exactly,”** I confirm, back turned to Joshua while I’m washing the dirty cup and bowl Jihoon used.

**“Nothing happened between the two of you.”**

**“Nothing.”**

**“Are you sure you’re not hiding something from me?”**

**“What should I be hiding? I told you that nothing happened.”**

**“Okay, I believe you.”** If Joshua is still doubtful, he decides that it’s better to let go of the topic for the time being. **“For the record, we’re running late.”**

**“Where the hell is he? He had to wear a uniform, not a heavy armour.”** I throw the rubber gloves in the sink and turn around, glaring at the door. 

**“I’m here, looking weird with Joshua’s uniform on.”**

Jihoon walks in the kitchen and Joshua and I can’t help but blatantly check him out. 

The trousers were baggy, a couple of sizes too big for him but the shirt was a tight fit and you could tell from how it wrapped around his chest and shoulders. His physique is clearly different from Joshua’s.

He doesn’t look weird as he said, he looks somewhat... _hot_. 

It’s been a while since Jihoon had started working out at the gym and the results were now showing as he isn’t wearing his oversized clothes. Well, I had noticed it even before, when he was wearing the towel. I looked at him for a short time but I remember how his chest was broader than it used to be, his abdomen well-defined and there was a glimpse of a V shape right above where the towel rested on his hips. 

_ ‘WHAT AM I THINKING? SOONYOUNG, GET YOURSELF TOGETHER!’  _

**“Don’t worry, it looks good.”** Joshua checks his watch and pushes both Jihoon and me out of the kitchen. **“Now, we got to go if we don’t want to be too late.”**

We all collect our belongings, put our shoes on and rush out the house. 

Luckily, we get in our class on time, panting and sprawling our bodies on our desk, trying to catch our breaths. I turn towards Seokmin and he nods his head in a greeting before going back to review the notes for his project. 

Not even a minute later, the bell rings and the teacher walks in. 

**“Good morning everyone, I hope no one forgot that today is presentation day.”** Mrs Kim starts and someone groans, maybe hoping the teacher would’ve been the one forgetting about the project. **“Let’s not waste any time and start with the first pair.”**

She starts calling the groups one by one. Someone exposes Sir Walter Scott’s _'Ivanhoe',_ someone else Mary Shelley’s _'Frankenstein'_ and, before we could even realise it, our turn comes. 

We stand in front of the whole class and all the students’ eyes are on us, waiting for us to present _‘Pride and Prejudice’_. 

I introduce the novel by giving first a quick overview of the author, the historical period in which she lived and the women’s status within that society. As for the main part, the one about the three different kinds of love, I leave it in Jihoon’s hands. He insisted on being the one presenting it so the teacher wouldn’t think he had done nothing and left all the work to me. 

After an introduction of what the word _‘love’_ means, Jihoon starts right away with the couple made by Jane Bennet and Mr Bingley. 

As he describes the dynamics of this pairing, I remember the conversation we had last night, on my bed: Jihoon talking about what true love really feels like and that strange atmosphere that had surrounded us. My cheeks heat up and my heart beats faster at the memory of how my fingers had lingered on his forehead and the proximity of our bodies. 

However, it’s when Jihoon talks about the next couple that an epiphany comes. 

Jihoon and I are like Darcy and Elizabeth but, clearly, without the love story. 

I am Elizabeth. She is the one full of prejudices towards Darcy, the one who believes that the other is too proud, cocky and presumptuous. But in the end, she finds out how lovable and charming Darcy is but because she is also proud, she’s not able to easily admit her faults in judging Darcy too quickly. 

Jihoon is Darcy. He has prejudices towards Elizabeth and her attitude, too and this leads them to quarrel and drift away from each other. Darcy may look proud and arrogant, but the truth is that he just doesn’t feel comfortable around people so he prefers not to interact with them. 

Jihoon and I were like this at first: the more time we spent together, the more we fought and drifted apart. However, time has made us realise we could become friends as long as we set aside our pride and our prejudice, just like Elizabeth and Darcy did at the end of the story. Once we stopped caring about being proud and stopped judging each other, we became inseparable. I can easily state that I almost have with him the same relationship I have with Joshua hyung, the only difference is that he had never slept at my house. Last night had been the first time and nothing would’ve been awkward if he hadn’t been half naked for almost an hour. 

I can’t help but think about what would’ve happened if my parents were home and saw Jihoon walking around the house with only a towel covering his manhood. I think I would’ve gladly wanted to disappear completely and never be found. 

God, the image of his half-naked body is once again in front of my eyes and, at this point, my cheeks are on fire as I find myself wondering how his abs would’ve felt under my touch, if his skin would be hard or soft just like his cheeks; wondering how many times you could trace the outline of his abdomen before getting bored of it; wondering how comfortable would it be to sleep on that chest of his. 

Lost in my thoughts, I hadn’t realised I was staring at Jihoon’s back, him literally being one step ahead of me, and almost jump in surprise when he turns towards me. From the look of confusion he’s giving me and the silence of the class, I guess the time to wrap the presentation up has come. 

**“We’re glad we had the possibility of going over an interesting topic like this one which made us realise that no matter how many years had gone by since Jane Austen had written this story, some of its thematics are still relevant.”** I take a step forward to stand beside Jihoon. **“Many of us can find true love as soon as they meet their significant other, someone else lives a love which takes time and hard work before beautifully blooming or they can experience an unfortunate, almost fake, love in which they desperately want to believe in but, deep inside, they know it’s just based on one’s materialistic interests. However, the ones Jane Austen wrote and we presented are just three of the infinite shades of what love can be. Over the centuries, love has been a topic widely used in the art fields of every country and it’s fascinating how many different shapes it can take based on how different authors and artist perceive it.”** I look at Jihoon, gesturing him to end the speech with a great quote.

**“To say it in a very Austen-like way, _‘There are as many forms of love as there are moments in time.’_** **That was all for our presentation, thank you.”** Both Jihoon and I bow to the rest of the class, who’s now busy clapping for us.

**“Good job you two. I’m really impressed,”** The teacher says as she claps her hands. **“You can go to your seats.”**

When Jihoon and I sit down at our desk, we subtly high-five and smile, satisfied by our presentation and teamwork, as the teacher calls for the next group. 

While the new group is presenting their work, I can feel a pair of eyes boring holes on my back and, without even looking, I can already tell who these eyes belong to. The moment I turn around, the little doubts I had are now certainties. Chanyeol is basically threatening me with his glare and, for the first time in years, I’m really scared for my life. The last time I felt this scared is when mom ran after me in the house after breaking one of her favourite plates. I still shiver in fear at the memory of that day. However, trying to be subtle about it, I shift my gaze to Seokmin who is already looking at me, something between delight and confusion twinkles in his eyes. 

To avoid being further stared at, I hide behind Jihoon and I know it’s quite useless considering he’s shorter than me, but it still gives me a sense of protection as his body shields mine. 

The lesson ends after four or five presentations which were all interesting and, despite being someone who easily gets distracted, I found myself focusing and even enjoying them, noting down some of the topics on which I could do some more researches later on. 

After the bell rings and before she leaves the class, Mrs Kim tells us she is going to give our marks by the end of the day and that we will find the paper with our grades in the main hall of the school. 

I feel nervous and honestly can’t wait to know if we have aced it or not as Mrs Kim could change her mind if someone else had been better than us. Apparently, Jihoon feels the same as he is nervously bouncing his leg under the desk. 

Next period starts and it takes another two hours before lunchtime. I feel my eyelids getting heavy, the number of yawns increases more and more. Luckily, the students sitting in front of me make a natural barrier and I can yawn as much as I want without the teacher noticing, so, for the time being, I’m safe from any scolding. 

However, during the hour right before lunch, my eyes slowly want to close. The adrenaline rush from being late and the presentation had come to an end and I felt drained of all energies. I’m too sleepy but I have to find ways to fight sleep. For example, I pinch my arm and leg so maybe the pain wakes me up; I take notes so I have to be concentrated on what the teacher says. Nothing seems to work, though, and I feel more and more frustrated. That’s when I get a note from Jihoon. I rub my eyes to focus on the words written on the white sheet of paper. 

_Sleep for a while, please._  
_I’m the one frustrated at you trying not to fall asleep._

_ I can’t.  _

_I’ll take notes and if the teacher wanders around the desks, I’ll wake you up. Okay?_

_ It’s too risky.  _

_Trust me, I won’t get you caught._  
_Plus, it’s my fault if we ended up working till late on the project so it’s only fair if I do the hard work while you rest._

I look up from the paper placed in between us and find Jihoon warmly smiling at me, slowly nodding his head in reassurance. I return his smile and accept his suggestion of napping a bit. 

Maybe it isn’t too bad of an idea. 

I lay my head on top of my folded arms and finally give in to sleep, closing my eyes. In no time, I enter the dreamland and the teacher’s voice becomes nothing but a distant humming. 

The lesson is almost at its end when Jihoon wakes me up and saves me from being caught by the teacher. It’s the first time ever that I slept in class in the middle of a lesson but it was the best thing in my entire school life. The nap was long enough that I now feel rested and energised to face the rest of this school day. 

The teacher walks away as soon as the bell rings and we’re free to go to the cafeteria. 

I was about to thank Jihoon for letting me sleep when Chanyeol appears from behind Jihoon, grabs him by the hand and basically drags him out of the classroom. Chanyeol clearly wants to remind people of whom Jihoon belongs to after having seen his boyfriend being “stolen” by me due to the project for an entire week. Because, yes, Jihoon and I spent our lunch breaks in the library to find material for the presentation. 

When the couple disappears out of the room, Seokmin and I look at each other and both shrug at Chanyeol’s behaviour before standing up and walking together to the cafeteria with rumbling stomachs. 

Today, for the first time in a while, our group has gone back to the origins. Origins as in when only the three of us would sit at our usual table: Joshua, Seokmin and I. 

**“I see you’re alive, now,”** Joshua mocks me as soon as I place the tray on the table. **“This morning you totally were a zombie but I didn’t have the heart to tell you.”**

**“You had me going around looking like that?! Wow. What a friend.”** I feign being offended and at that Joshua laughs. 

**“You always look good, my little bro.”**

**“Oh, please, don’t say that. It’s weird.”** My face twists in fake cringing. **“However, it’s because I slept in class.”**

**“Really?!”** Joshua is shocked. His spoon almost falls into the soup he is eating. 

**“But just for a while and because Jihoon told me to do so.”**

**“And since when you do what Jihoon tells you to do?”** Seokmin asks, his tone hinting at something else. 

**“I don’t do what he says, I slept on my own will.”** I take a spoonful of rice and dip it in the soup so I wouldn’t meet his eyes. 

**“He’s becoming a bad influence.”** Seokmin shakes his head and steals a cube of white radish from my tray. 

**“That’s not true and don’t steal my food!”**

**“I have to agree with Seok,”** Joshua says and then turns to look better at Seokmin before saying, **“You won’t believe what I have seen this morning and I wish I would know how to unsee it.”**

**“Oh my God!”** I slap both my hands on my face and hide behind them, knowing where this is going to go. **“Please, don’t tell him.”**

**“Tell me what?”** Seokmin eyes dart from me and Joshua, waiting for one of us to explain what happened. 

**“When I went to his house,”** Joshua points at me with his chopsticks **“I found Jihoon walking out of his kitchen wearing nothing but a loose bathrobe.”**

**“No way.”** It’s now Seokmin’s turn to drop his chopsticks in his dish. His mouth hangs open. 

**“Yes way. He even slept there.”** Joshua looks proud of exposing me and Jihoon and even puff his chest. 

**“REALLY?”** Seokmin shrieks and then looks at me. **“Soon, did something happen between you two?”**

**“No, nothing happened, for fuck’s sake.”** It comes out rude but I am tired of them thinking that Jihoon and I did something. The only thing we did was laying on the same bed while going over our speech for the presentation. There was this weird atmosphere as we were face to face but, of course, they don’t need to know that as we didn’t go past that. **“We were working on the English project and fell asleep.”**

**“Wait, now I know why you were blushing during the presentation.”** Seokmin rubs his chin as he recalls that particular event. 

**“He _blushed_?” **

**“While Jihoon was speaking, Soonyoung stood behind him and kept staring at him with a weird light in his eyes.”** He gets closer to Joshua as if to whisper in his ear but purposefully keeps his volume high. **“I bet he was thinking about the bathrobe.”**

I was trying not to listen to their conversation and focus on my first decent meal of the day but upon hearing Seokmin mentioning the robe and as I was slowly zoning out, a sentence slips out of my mouth. 

**“It wasn’t the robe. Before that, he came down with only a towel-”**

I stop midway, realising that I basically dug up my own grave. 

**“EH? HE WAS WEARING A TOWEL?”** Joshua shrieks and his eyes go wide to the point I’m scared they could fall from his orbs.

**“HE WAS HALF NAKED?”** Seokmin screeches, too.

I shush them and shoot them the most murderous glare I can manage. **“Don’t yell! There are eyes and ears everywhere here.”**

**“So our little Soonyoung isn’t as pure and innocent as we all believe, uh?”** Seokmin nudges me with his elbows and his eyebrows repeatedly go up and down. **“To be thinking about him in a towel, it must’ve been a great view.”**

**“I wasn’t thinking about him!”** I push his arm away from my ribs. 

**“And you really want us to believe that you two did nothing?”** Joshua scoffs. 

**“How many times do I have to repeat my words? We did nothing and nothing will never happen.”**

**“Said the one who was so sure about them never being friends.”**

**“And now they even sleep together. Did you sleep in the same bed?”** Seokmin can’t help but pry and I reach my limit of self-control. 

**“Oh my God, no. We were in the living room. He slept on the couch and I fell asleep on the floor, that’s it.”** I start gesticulating a lot out of annoyance. **“Moreover, the first situation is different from this one. It was about friendship and now you’re alluring at something more than that and I can assure you nothing will happen between us.”** I point at myself and at the general direction where Jihoon may or not may be at this very moment. **“I like Wonwoo too much to cheat on him and the same goes for Jihoon with Chanyeol.”**

**“Did you realise that you two spend more time together than you do with your actual boyfriends?”** Joshua pushes his tray away and folds his arms on the table.

**“That means nothing.”** I card a hand through my hair and lick my lips, dry from all the talking. **“This week we’ve been seeing each other every day due to the project but we usually see during classes or sometimes after the band rehearsals. I can’t ignore him in class as we’re sitting beside one another and can’t ignore me when he is the one asking to eat out. All the things I do with him are the same things I do with you two, too.”**

**“But, trust me, it feels different. Who doesn’t know you would think you two are a couple, not you and Wonwoo or Jihoon and Chanyeol.”** Seokmin starts, putting a hand on my shoulder and looking right into my eyes. **“At school, Jihoon and you create a sort of bubble in which only the two of you exist. Because of that, if Chanyeol’s eyes could shoot lasers, he would’ve already killed you countless of times and, of course, Jihoon would follow and join you in the afterlife.”**

Joshua turns to look at Seokmin and leans over to say, **“I always believed that there was great chemistry between Jihoon and Soonyoung, they are the only ones who can’t seem to notice it.”**

Saving me from being further frustrated by their argument, the bell rings signalling the end of lunchtime and of my interrogation. 

**“No one is pretending not to notice it.”** I go back to being calm, keeping my hands busy with picking the grains of rice which spilt over the table. **“There’s chemistry between us, I can’t deny it but it’s the same chemistry two friends have when they share the same hobbies and interests and who like to hang out together. Is that wrong? Why do we have to look like a couple? Why don’t you say the same about you and me, about Seokmin and me? Why is it that different?”**

**“Soonyoung, I-”** Joshua starts, probably wanting to discuss it more but I had enough. 

**“No, let’s end it here.”** I stop him before he could say something else. **“And promise me you won’t breathe a word in front of Wonwoo. I don’t want him to misunderstand, I don’t want him to doubt himself and my feelings for him.”**

Joshua and Seokmin look at each other for a while before nodding, promising to keep their mouths shut. I mouth the words _‘thank you’_ for them to see before we all stand up and leave the cafeteria, Joshua going back to the library and us to the class.

Not too long after I sit down and rest my head on the desk, Jihoon comes back to our class and smiles as he walks towards me, hands hidden in his pockets. 

**“You know, you weren't wrong about Chanyeol wanting to murder you,”** He says, plopping down on the chair. 

**“I told you. My death is near.”** I close my eyes and sigh in resignation. **“Take care of all my books and Shinee albums.”**

**“I will sell them and make a lot of money out of them so I can buy a new drum.”**

**“I'll haunt you in your dreams if you ever try to do that.”** I shoot up on the chair and glare at him, trying to look as scary as possible. 

**“As if your face doesn't already haunt me while you are still alive.”** Jihoon smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes, it feels bitter.

I scoff and I’m ready to fight back but something tells me not to, so I change the topic. **“By the way, thank you for letting me sleep.”**

**“Don't mention it, you needed it.”**

The teacher walks in and we can’t talk anymore, too busy taking notes on the topic for the upcoming test. 

Classes go by rather quickly that afternoon, Jihoon and I barely talk as I feel uneasy with Chanyeol’s eyes locked on me the entire time. I bet Seokmin sometimes looks over here, too, especially after the talk we had at lunch. Knowing him, there should be a voice at the back of his mind telling him he has to prove me wrong and that Joshua and he are right. 

When periods finally end, everyone from my class rushes in the main hall where the English teacher has hanged the list of our marks. My heart is racing, its beating sound resonating in my ears as I push past a couple of my classmates to scan the paper and find mine and Jihoon’s name. 

When I find them, I almost scream. 

Immediately, I turn around and see that Jihoon is not too far from me. I grab him by the arm and guide him outside the crowd. When we get out of there, we hug, jumping in a circle out of happiness.

**“FULL MARKS! WE DID IT!”** I scream, Jihoon still engulfed in my arms. 

**“Yes, we really did it!”** His voice is muffled by the fabric of my pullover. 

**“Not counting the last minute emergency, it was pretty easy.”**

Jihoon and I part from the hug and he says, **“That's because we have great teamwork.”**

**“We do!”** I raise my hand for a high-five and, luckily, Jihoon doesn’t ignore it. **“Oh my God, I'm so happy!”** I continue squealing as I really couldn’t believe we got full marks during the first semester.

**“Should we celebrate at _‘Coffee & Goodpie’_ with a hot drink and a piece of cake?”**

**“Call but let's tell Seokmin and Chanyeol, they need to come with us.”**

**“Can it be just the two of us? In the end, it's our celebration.”**

Seokmin’s words replay in my mind and I know I probably insist on bringing the other two with us but Jihoon is looking at me with expectant eyes, with a spark of hope in there that could turn into sadness if I happen to reject his offer. 

I sigh. **“Okay, then but let's sneak out before they can stop us.”**

Not wanting to care about anything else, I sling my arm around Jihoon's shoulders, leaving my friend, his boyfriend and even Joshua hyung behind, both physically and mentally. 

We’re aware that later we have to face the consequences of our choice but, at the moment, it doesn't seem to matter. 

Despite the smile tugging at my lips as we look at each other, something heavy settles in the pit of my stomach, something telling me that I shouldn't be too reckless, that I should think carefully about the consequences of choosing to spend time with Jihoon. 

All of the biggest mistakes in my life came from not paying enough attention to this kind of sensations.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**_Wonwoo's point of view_ **

Mingyu and I are heading to Joshua's place as, today, we're rehearsing there. 

The boys we a total pain in the ass in the group chat, asking us to buy food and drinks on the way to hyung's house. 

Instead of buying them in our neighbourhood, we decide to do a pit stop to that cafè in Joshua's area, _‘Coffee & Goodpie’_ which everyone seems to enjoy. 

When we're out of the shop, from the big window, I can see Soonyoung. 

Happy to see my Soonie after not having listened from him since yesterday morning, I rush to the door. Maybe I can spend some time with him while they make our orders or even asking him to come with us and stay at Joshua’s. It would be great having him by my side as I really missed him. However, when my hand reaches the doorknob, I notice that he's not alone. 

He is with Jihoon.

They're laughing as they throw small pieces of paper at each other, smiling as they share a piece of cake, locking gazes as their eyes peek from the cup they're sipping from. 

I feel a pang in my stomach, jealousy slowly trying to take the best of me while watching the two being happy in their own little world. 

_ ‘Why didn’t he tell me he was here with Jihoon?’  _

Mingyu, who probably hasn't noticed Jihoon nor Soonyoung, shoves me away and is about to walk in. I stop him on time by grabbing his wrist and he turns around, confused. 

**“What, hyung?”**

**“I f-forgot my wallet at home.”** I lie sure that if I hadn’t, Mingyu would’ve walked straight to their table to either join or scold them.

**“Oh? You told me you had it.”** He feels his pockets, looking for his wallet but says, **“I don't have mine too.”**

**“I'm sorry.”**

He sighs and brushes a hand through his hair. **“What do we do now? They'll kill us if we don't bring food.”**

**“We'll call Jihoon and tell him to buy something.”** I glare at where Jihoon is seating and state with a voice colder than the current weather, **“I'm pretty sure he's in the area.”**

**“Okay, I'll call him.”**

As Mingyu fishes his phone out of the pocket, we resume our walking to Joshua's house. I don’t look back, not even once and as we get further from that cafè, the idea of Soonyoung being with Jihoon leaves a sour taste in my mouth. 

How funny that, for once, the bitter taste doesn’t come from the black coffee but from what I thought was the sweetest thing in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are, things are literally heating up between our Soonyoung and Jihoon and their friends seem to have noticed it! The incident really shook Soonyoung who can't stop thinking about it eheheheh teen hormones are like that, am I right? Hahaha
> 
> I'm sorry this chapter got delayed again but this week too has been a busy one and I think this one will be busy too so maybe I'll post next chapter on Monday instead of Saturday like I often do. In the meantime, you can read the other au I'm writing on twitter with my mutual and friend Rene! Here's the link [**Meet my eyes**](https://twitter.com/angstylene/status/1107219088776937473)  
>  By the way, I hope you enjoyed the chapter and, please, leave comments about your thoughts/theories if you want, I'll be glad to read them *-*  
> See you next week! I love yaaaa


	24. Chapter 24

Since the project was done, my afternoons weren’t as busy as they were before. Well, at least in terms of studying because most of the following week was spent with Wonwoo.

He got clingy all of a sudden, wanting to stay with me from the moment class ended until dinner time. I didn’t complain, though. It was nice being with Wonwoo considering how little I saw him the week of the presentation. As everyone pointed out, I had spent more time with Jihoon than with my boyfriend and maybe he missed me so much that he now wants me all to himself before he too had to disappear for a couple of weeks. Why? Because _‘Jeonghan’s bitches’_ were engaged for a gig in a pub out of town the weekend before Christmas and so they have to practice a lot. According to Joshua, if they did well on this one, they could become regular performers at this pub as they held a music event every Friday. That’s why they all decided to have some time for themselves and for classes to finish at the end of that week before drowning in a sea of rehearsals. 

Jeonghan and Seungcheol went on a short trip to the latter’s hometown down in Daegu.

Seungkwan decided to just rest at his house for the whole week, binge-watching some volleyball matches. 

Mingyu went around the city to practice his photography skills, sometimes bringing Seokmin with him and using him as his model. 

On the other hand, when Seokmin wasn’t with Mingyu, he would go over to Joshua’s to play some _‘Super Smash Bros’_ at the Nintendo Switch. 

Jihoon and Chanyeol had spent more time together, going on dates and having an early Christmas shopping, trying to find matching Santa or elves jumpers. I barely saw him and this saddened me a bit considering how busy he will be the following week, meaning that we won’t be able to see each other for a total of two weeks. 

Wonwoo and I had pretty much the same routine every day. He would pick me up in the school courtyard and sometimes even sneak inside the building to wait for me right outside my classroom, his looks helping him elicit some useful info from a young junior. If I had to study or write an essay, he’d make me company at _‘Coffee & Goodpie’_ as I did my homework, helping me out or just observing me working. If I was free, we would go either on a walk, using the cold weather as an excuse to stand close to each other, or at the arcade to play some games Wonwoo likes.

It’s at the arcade that I had another epiphany about him. 

* * *

  
  
  


_**“You lost, again”** , Wonwoo said, scrunching his nose as he smiles and turning on his stool to face me. The victory music playing from his machine which was right next to mine and it annoyed me.  _

_**“That’s not fair, you know I’m not good at games.”** I had crossed my arms and pouted. **“You don’t actually teach me how to play because you want to make sure you win. I bet if you taught me your techniques, I could even beat you, Jeon Wonwoo!”** _

_**“You’re right. I don’t teach you the right rules so you can lose,”** he admitted quite proudly. **“And do you know why?”** _

**_“Because you’re a cheater?!”_ **

_**“Because you’re cute when you pout.”** He quickly pecked my lips and before I could even realise what had just happened, he said, “ **Should I teach you how to properly play, now?”** _

_ Wonwoo had stood up from his stool to come behind me. He placed his hands over mine and started to move them to control the character fighting on the screen. He was explaining some of the moves and secret tricks I could use, his mouth hovering over my ear. Needless to say I couldn’t concentrate on the game as the only thing my mind could focus on was Wonwoo’s hot breath on my skin sending shivers down my spine and on all the places our bodies were touching: my back on his chest, his mouth on my ear, his arms over mine, his hands almost intertwined with my hands.  _

_ With a simple gesture like this one, Wonwoo had been able to make my brain go haywire, too lost in the sensation to notice that we had reached the end of the battle and that I had won.  _

_**“Should we get the price?”** Wonwoo asked, moving away from me. I shudder from the lack of warmth his body radiated until a while ago. **“You know, we can get a special prize if we use my tickets with the one you just won. Even if I helped you, you were the one who won.”** _

_ I turned around to look at him. He stood there, hand stretched for me to take. At that moment I realised that, yes, I had sure won the most special and precious prize and I didn’t even know how.  _

  
  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


It’s Christmas time and the last time I’ve been this excited about a festivity was when I was 9 and still believed Santa Claus was real. Now, I’m happy not because of a made-up person but because the entire city seems to shine, to glow and everything seems more soft thanks to the white, candid snow. 

Seoul’s streets are even more alive than they usually are, despite the weather being freezing cold. Banks of colourful LEDs are hanging from one side of the street to the other, hovering right above passer-bys heads; elves, reindeers, sleighs and fake snow reign in every shop in every area of the city; someone put LED lights on the trees alongside the streets and you could hear the Christmas carols in the Myeongdong and Hongdae area; on the riverside, there are numerous stands that had been set up for the Christmas Market and the vendors would be offering various kinds of things from hot food to souvenirs; in the different squares one could find some ice-skating rinks full of people showing off their skills or just learning how to ice-skate and every square has a huge pine tree fully decorated or just a cone-shaped LED tree still beautiful but not as much as a real tree. 

At _‘Coffee & Goodpie’_ the special Christmas drink is already available and it has become the only thing I drink when I set foot in here. I’m not the only one doing this, though. Since it’s a limited edition beverage everyone is here to get a taste of it before it’s too late and they have to wait a long time before they could drink it. 

Everything seems to be so peaceful and happy around this time of the year. The atmosphere is even more perfect thanks to the falling snow which makes you feel like you’re inside a giant snowball on someone’s fireplace. 

Christmas has been a holiday like the others to me since we’ve moved to Japan. However, this year it feels more special because it’s going to be different. It’s the first time in years that I’m going to celebrate Christmas here, in Seoul. When my parents got transferred here, their friends from there and mine, too, were sad due to our departure so my parents had promised them to go and pay a visit at least twice a year: once in summer and once in winter. So I never got the opportunity to spend this holiday with Seokmin and Joshua as we had to fly to Japan as soon as my classes ended to make sure to stay there as long as we could. 

This year, however, I didn’t feel like going back. 

While packing, I kept sighing and pouting to the point my parents came close to me, had me sit on the bed and asked me what was wrong. I told them the truth, that I was sad about leaving behind all of my friends, that I would’ve liked staying with them and that I was going to miss them so much. 

I don’t know exactly what happened but what I know is that, at dinner, my parents suddenly proposed a deal to me. They would let me stay here, alone, as long as I didn’t throw big parties, didn’t procrastinate the house chores and phoned them at least twice a day: once in the morning as soon as I wake up and another one at around nine in the evening. Mom insisted on face-timing in case I called them when I was with Jihoon because she wanted to see him too. She had the audacity to say she’s going to miss that _‘little baby’_ more than anyone right in front of Joshua’s salad who was at the table with us. He had come to say goodbye to us straight after the rehearsals and he too couldn’t believe his ears. 

My parents were allowing me to be by myself. 

If they weren’t 100% sure of their decision, Joshua helped my cause by promising them to keep an eye on me and to make sure I would go to his house to celebrate Christmas so I wouldn’t be all alone. Upon hearing that, they seemed more relaxed, of course, that’s because they trust Joshua more than they trust their own son. Well, that seems legit to me.

Happiness immediately took over all of my brain and body because I was going to celebrate this holiday with the best squad I could ever ask for and my boyfriend was going to be there, too. Actually, we had already planned how to spend Christmas and New Year’s Eve together and I bet it would be even greater because I, Kwon Soonyoung, am going to be there. All of the members of _‘Jeonghan’s bitches’_ know that a party isn’t a real party if BooSeokSoon aren’t together. We’re the gag trio and no one is going to have fun without us. Or at least this is what we like to think.

  
  


Today it marks a week before Christmas and, to me, this is the best time to observe the different kind of people who roam the city. It’s a fun thing to do, watching with whom they are, where they go and guess what they’re thinking. 

You can see those who frantically run from a shop to another to buy presents for their dear ones; those who enjoy their time under the falling snow, not worried about the shopping part because, maybe, they have already done it; small groups of teenagers loudly laughing and chatting before disappearing into a pc room and spend their afternoon in there, improving their gaming skills and levelling up their favourite character; couples promenading as they hold hands and stopping at some stalls feeding each other a mouthful of warm food; kids having snowball fights in the narrow side streets when they’re sure no one else is passing there, too afraid of getting scolded if they hit someone by mistake. 

Christmas is such a happy holiday, everyone looks so happy and relaxed (if they had bought all the gifts), ready to enjoy some quality time with their families and friends free of any thought about work and school.

To be honest with you, I was just pretending to casually walk on the streets but I actually belong to the category of those who run to buy presents! I procrastinated the shopping part so here I am, spending the entire day finding the perfect items for the best squad. Luckily, I am pretty firm when it comes to buying things: I see it, I like it, I buy it. So by the time the sun is about to set, most of the people from my list are checked and the only ones missing their gifts are Joshua’s family and Jihoon. 

You may be curious, so I’ll tell you what I got them. To Seokmin I bought some new earphones since he had recently broken his; to Joshua I thought a new game for his Switch would do the job; to Wonwoo I bought a scarf and a pair of gloves so he will stop freezing when we’re outside; to the rest of _‘Jeonghan’s bitches’_ I bought matching jumpers with a _“This is my too tired to function sweatshirt”_ stamped on it. 

Another hour passes and I came out of a shop with a new classy wallet for Joshua’s father and a simple collar necklace for his mother. It’s not much considering how they’re taking care of me these days that I’ve been alone, sending me side dishes and bags of meat. I make a mental note to bake a cake to bring them on Christmas’ Eve. 

Jihoon is the last one left and I’m really not sure what to give him. He has a lot of interests so I have a wide range of choice but because of the various things I could buy him, I panic. It’s like I see something and think _“this will do”_ , but then I notice another item he could like and so I grab it and think _“he may like this better”_ and then see something else and be like _“or should I get this?”_. It’s an infinite loop which does nothing but put me off. 

However, as I walk down one of the main streets, my eyes land on a vitrine with lights which are dimmer than the others and I see it, the perfect gift. The feeling at the pit of my stomach is the same as when I saw the moon and star necklace some months ago. There’s that voice in my head saying _“Yes, that’s the one for Jihoon.”_ So I confidently step in, feeling like I can be happier now that I’ve checked everyone from my list. 

As I was going back home after a wild day of shopping (which basically counted as exercising), my phone buzzes and when I check the caller’s ID, I’m glad to see it’s Wonwoo. 

**“Hello?”**

**“Soonie, where are you? Are you still shopping?”** From Wonwoo’s end, I can hear the drums playing and my mind immediately pictures Jihoon hitting the snares and the cymbals.

**“I’m on my way to my house.”**

**“Did you find everything you needed?”**

**“Thank God, yes! It took almost a whole day, but I did it!”** I giggle and Wonwoo does the same. **“What about you? What are you doing?”**

**“We’re currently taking a break and I wanted to hear your voice. I miss you,”** Wonwoo whispers the last part but, apparently, Seungkwan hears it anyway because he yells _**“Whipped!”**_

I snort and maybe Wonwoo hits the younger because suddenly the other side goes silent. It’s when I could tell that he was back that I say, **“I miss you too, a lot. We’re haven’t seen each other as often as we did last week.”**

**“I know and I’m sorry.”** I can tell he is really sorry from the way he softly speaks. **“We basically spend the whole day playing and we even wrap up late. I wish I could take you to a date after practising but it’s too late at night.”**

**“I know and, anyway, I’m happier if you rest after the rehearsals. We have time to go on dates.”** I wish I could be there now to hug him and tell him it’s really okay. 

**“God, what did I do to deserve you?”** He contently sighs but there’s a note of tiredness to it. He must be really fatigued. **“Are you free now or do you have something to do at home?”**

**“Nothing to do, why?”**

**“Do you want to come here? I’m sure that, as soon as I see you, I won’t be tired anymore!”**

**“Define here...where are you?”**

**“Joshua’s house.”**

**“I don’t know...I don’t want to be a nuisance.”**

**“You won’t, I promise!”** He then whispers **“Plus, Chanyeol is here too so why you should be a nuisance?”.**

**“Chanyeol is there too? Another reason why I should go home. He hates me.”** It’s my turn to sigh as I watch a couple of kids chasing in the snow, one of them trying not to be the target of a snowball fight.

**“C’mon! I know you don’t like him but we called Seokmin too and he said he’s on his way.”**

I don’t need to see him to know he’s pouting right now thinking this trick could work on me. Well, it does work. **“I will be there, then.”**

**“Oh, so you’ll come here because of Seokmin and not because I asked? Is this how you treat your boyfriend?”** And he is now faking being offended. I roll my eyes as I mouth the words _‘what an actor’_ , knowing he isn’t able to see me.

**“You know I would’ve come regardless of Seokmin’s presence. Let me leave the bags home and I’ll be there.”** Wonwoo cheers on the other side and I can’t help but smile. 

**“Okay, baby. See you in a while.”**

**“See you.”**

Wonwoo hangs up and I place the phone in my pocket, mind already working on what to bring them so I wouldn’t go empty-handed. I pitstop to my house so I could leave the bags in the living room and check my appearance in the mirror before going straight to _‘Coffee & Goodpie’_. I know, I could’ve called Kihyun, the delivery guy, but the cafè is in its busiest hours so I would feel bad to call him when they probably need his help in there. Plus, I want to enjoy the snow for a little bit longer so I set off to go buying some hot chocolate for our hard-working boys and then go to Joshua’s.

As I take in the view of the sunset in this white and pure scenery, my mind wanders before focusing on this newfound feeling of freedom. It’s nothing big but I love being alone, being able to get in and out of my house without having to explain in detail where am I going and with whom I am meeting, free to watch tv up until late or cook something in the middle of the night when you feel hungry. Everything I do seems more thrilling, exciting but, at the same time, it makes me feel more responsible, almost an adult. I could get quite used to this.

When I finally get to Joshua’s house, Seokmin is the one opening the door. He looks at me as if I was his saviour. 

**“You’re here! Oh my God, I was really close to run away at the thought of you ditching and being left alone with Chanyeol.”**

**“I wouldn’t ditch you! I was late because of this.”** I lift the two boxes filled with hot chocolate. **“ _Ta-da!_ ” **

**“You’re always the best!”** Seokmin takes the boxes from my hands while I am toeing my shoes off so I could take my coat and beanie off.

**“Am I forgiven?”**

**“Of course, you are. Now, let’s go.”**

Seokmin leads the way to the garage where the boys had to move once Jihoon’s new drum set arrived. It was much bigger of a space and they made sure to make it soundproof before someone could complain about the loud music. 

When we walk in, everyone was sprawled on the couches, chairs and beanbags of the small relax-area in one of the corners of the garage. 

**“And here it comes the most awaited guest of the day.”** Everyone snaps their head towards Seokmin as he announces our entrance. **“Give a round of applause to the Coffee & Goodpie’s hot chocolate!” **

The boys all stand up and cheer as they eye the cups of the hot drink getting closer to them. A great reward for their work. 

**“So you’re cheering not for me but for the chocolate? Okay, I get it. I’m going away and the drinks are coming with me.”** I pretend to be offended and I’m about to snatch the box from Seokmin’s hands when everybody shouts not to take the chocolate away from them. 

**“You know we were joking. Come sit here with us.”** Joshua pats the spot next to him that it’s obviously meant for Seokmin. 

I take care of handing the cups together with a heartfelt “you worked hard” to each one of them. Jihoon snorts when it’s his turn and I just stick my tongue out. When I give Wonwoo his cup and take one for me, I plop right beside him, giving him a quick peck on the cheek. 

**“How about a toast?”** Seungcheol suddenly asks, all eyes are now on him. 

**“Now that I think about it, I’m kind of hungry.”** Mingyu rubs his belly which rumbles as if to prove he is telling the truth. 

Seungkwan hits Mingyu right on his head, Seungcheol mouthing a _‘thanks’_ to him. Jihoon facepalms and says to a confused puppy/tree, **“Hyung is not talking about that kind of toast, you idiot of a hyung.”**

**“A toast to what?”** Jeonghan totally ignores the younger as he warms his hands with the cup. 

**“To us and our first holiday spent together.”**

**“I like it.”** Joshua nods his head and the rest copy his action. 

To everyone surprise, Jihoon is the first one to stand up and says, **“Let’s all raise our cups, then!”**

We all stand and form a circle, raising our cups midair. **“To the first Christmas we will spend together. To our new _family_.”** Seungcheol shouts while everyone else pushes their hot chocolate forwards cheering and laughing as they clink the cups and try not to spill the drink.

At the sight of them smiling, my heart is full and it feels almost too big for my chest. ‘our new family’ I think to myself and it seems incredible to finally feel like I belong to something, to somewhere. 

Due to the constant moving from a city to another, from a country to another, I had many houses, many places to live in but none of them had ever felt like home. I had many friends from my childhood up until now with whom I grew up, played, hung out, shared some of the most important moments of my life but none of them gave me real affection. 

Here everything is different. I found people I really adore, with whom I like spending my free time. They are people I want to spend my life with, making memories as we grow closer and closer, memories that eventually will become stories to tell my children and nephews. Joshua and Seokmin first and then the others became a new family to me, a family that gave me affection, love and made me feel like I was finally home. 

One by one, I look at them, trying to engrave this moment in my mind and heart. I want to remember their voices, their smiles, their sparkling eyes. I want to remember everything so that in the future, I can recall it with a smile on my face and feel the same way as I do know, with my heart about to burst of joy. 

  
  


After the break and having thrown the empty cups, the members go back to practising while Seokmin, Chanyeol and I go sitting on the couches in the living room so they won’t be distracted by our chatting or, should I say, gossiping. 

**“Have you heard that Bongcha and Chungho break up?”** Chanyeol starts as soon as he falls on the couch. 

**“Bongcha and Chungho as the most popular couple of our school?”** Seokmin asks, eyes widening at the news. 

**“The ones and only.”**

**“Why? Spill the tea, please.”**

And like that, we spent the next hour or so talking about them and about the rumoured crushes of our classmates. 

**“Are you done with those rumours?”** Joshua appears in the living room, jump scaring the three of us. 

**“Geez, hyung! Don’t do it ever again!”** I whine. 

**“Why? It’s funny.”**

I glare at him, trying to repress the instinct of killing him. **“What do you want?”**

**“I wanted to tell you if you have decided what do you want for dinner.”**

**“For dinner?”** Chanyeol checks the time on his phone. **“It’s already dinner time?”**

**“We got to go then.”** Seokmin stands up but Joshua stops him. 

**“I think that from my question it's pretty obvious that you will be eating here.”**

**“But you and the guys are surely tired and want to rest. Tomorrow there’s the gig and you need to be in great shape for it,”** I say.

**“C’mon! We had already planned it, to invite you over so you could dine here.”** Joshua pulls his aegyo card and Seokmin is already wavering. 

**“Should we believe you?”** Chanyeol asks, still sitting on the sofa. 

**“Yes. Everyone brought their bags here with their clothes so they could shower before eating.”** Joshua proudly states as he straightens his back. 

**“He’s telling the truth.”** Wonwoo walks in the room, backing Joshua up. **“Please, Soonie. This way we can spend more time together.”** He comes and wraps his arms around my shoulder in a back hug. 

Once again, I find myself unable to resist him. **“At one condition. We’ll be doing the cooking.”**

**“I see we have a deal.”** Joshua comes closer to shake my hand, sealing the pact. 

Seokmin, Chanyeol and I, shoo them out of the room so they could tell the others to start showering while the three of us would be deciding the menu and work right away on it. We grab a small blackboard to write the menu on it and then dispose it outside the kitchen so when the boy would go upstairs to use the bathroom, they could read it. 

**Menu of the day**

_ Doenjang jjigae _

_ Kimchi bokkeumbap _

_ Meat cooked on the spot _

_ Plain rice and side dishes _

  
  


As we cook, the boys take turns to shower and then go to Joshua’s room to dry and get dressed so the bathroom is free for the next person to use. The ones who are already done join us in the kitchen and they make plans about what to do on New Year’s Eve as we forbid them to help us. 

They decided to shower following their age order. By the time Seungkwan is done and calls Jihoon to hurry his ass and shower, we’re almost done with the food. Joshua helps me set the table, bring the portable gas stoves on the table and together with the huge dishes full of meat ready to be cooked. 

As I am grabbing the drink from the fridge, I take a quick glance at the clock hanging on the wall and see that it’s time to call my mom. 

**“Joshua hyung, can you finish here? I have to call mom as I promised.”**

**“Go ahead, I’ll take care of the rest.”**

**“Thank you.”**

The boys are making a ruckus around the entire floor and the loudest are, of course, Seungkwan and Mingyu as they’re having one of their bickering sessions with Seungcheol being on the side and laughing out loud at the two of them. Wonwoo is shaking his head, a smile tugging at his lips. In order to actually hear my mom speaking on the phone, I know I can’t stay here so I go upstairs in hopes the noises wouldn’t be as deafening as they are on the lower floor. 

To my surprise, the door to Joshua’s room is ajar. Thinking that Jihoon may still be under the shower, I open it without hesitation only to find myself regretting it. 

Standing in front of the mirror, there is Jihoon. He is completely naked and the only towel he has is the one he’s using to dry his hair before actually using the hairdryer. 

I stop functioning for a while, gaze lingering for a second longer than it should’ve had on Jihoon’s butt before bumping into the doorframe with half of my body and zooming out the room, not really shutting the door behind me. I don’t get to reach the stairs that Jihoon is behind me, grabbing my wrist to stop me from walking. 

He turns me around and, thankfully, the towel is now wrapped around his waist. Not that it matters anymore since I saw everything that towel hides, but I think my sanity would’ve definitely left me if I had to speak with a naked Jihoon.

**“Soonie.”**

**“Uh? Yes? What?”** I ask, trying to look everywhere but at him. 

**“Did you need something from Joshua’s room?”**

**“Y-yes. W-well, not r-really.”** I mentally facepalm myself as I stutter. **“I’ll come back later.”**

**“Are you sure?”**

At that moment, I can’t help but look at him. It isn’t the first time I am seeing him like this. The same accident happened a couple of weeks ago at my house but, embarrassed, I had immediately averted my eyes. 

However, today I can’t seem to be able to tear my gaze away from him. I keep on staring at Jihoon’s body, following the trail of this and that drop of water from his forehead to his jawline and then down his neck and collarbones; the veins on his arms are popping, his chest and abs even more defined. Then my mind runs to his lower body, remembering how well-built his thighs are and how firm and round his butt looked a while ago. I can’t deny that he is indeed handsome and now he even has the body of a grown-up man. No one would take him for an eighteen-year-old boy if they saw what I saw. 

_ ‘Soonyoung, get yourself together! you’re spacing out.’  _

**“Soon, are you there?”** Jihoon waves a hand in front of my face to check if I was there. 

**“Uh?”**

**“I asked if you are sure. If you need the room, I can get dressed and dry my hair in the bathroom so you can use it.”**

**“As you wish to do.”**

**“Just wait a minute then.”**

Jihoon returns in the room and locks the door behind him. I just stay there, next to the stairs, waiting for him to get out, hopefully, fully dressed. 

_ ‘I can’t believe it happened again and that this time I saw him completely naked! I need eyes that didn’t see that. Fuck, he even caught me staring!’ _

Luckily for us, Joshua is downstairs probably busy helping in the kitchen or else he would’ve started laughing about it and screaming, getting everyone attention and eventually letting them know what happened. I don’t want even imagine what Wonwoo would’ve thought or if I would’ve died by Chanyeol’s hands before knowing it. 

The sound of the door unlocking, makes me snap my head towards Jihoon. He comes my way. heading to the bathroom and when he’s close enough, he leans in and whispers in my ear **“you know you’re blushing?”**. 

_ ‘Kill me, now.’  _

I duck my head to hide my red cheeks and hit him on his arm. Jihoon pretends to be in pain because of my punch but then, he runs to the bathroom and sticks his tongue out before locking himself in there. 

Sighing and shaking my head, I walk in Joshua’s room and go straight for the mirror to look at myself and, yes, my cheeks are as red and hot as chili pepper. But can you blame me? How could someone be emotionless in front of that? 

Another sigh and I throw myself on the bed, finally being able to facetime mom. She asks me about the day and I tell her how I went shopping and that I’m currently at Joshua, waiting to eat dinner. 

**“There’s just the two of you tonight?”**

**“Actually no, mom. The rest of our group his here too.”**

**“So Jihoon is there too, right?”** A light beams in her eyes as she mentions him.

**“Yes, mom.”**

**“Can I see him? I miss him so much.”** She wipes a fake tear to which I can only roll my eyes. 

**“Uhm, he-”** I was about to tell her Jihoon was showering when he walks in the room. He was probably eavesdropping outside. 

**“Hello, Mrs Kwon! How are you?”** Jihoon waves at her as he sits beside me on the bed. 

**“I’m fine, what about you? Are you eating? You’ve got skinnier since I last saw you.”**

**“Yes, don’t worry! I’m eating a lot, especially tonight. Soonyoung made a lot of delicious food.”** He grins and his eyes disappear into crescents. 

**“I’m sure he did.”** She has that motherly smile plastered on her face and I feel betrayed. She doesn’t smile to me like that. **“When I’ll come back, you must come home so I can make you your favourite dish.”**

**“There’s no need to, Mrs Kwon.”**

**“I insist.”**

**“Think about enjoying your holidays over there.”** I interrupt her, afraid they could go on forever with this. **“We got to go, now! Dinner’s ready. Talk to you tomorrow!”**

**“Okay, bye Soonie, bye Jihoonie.”**

We wave at her and once she hangs up, without saying anything to Jihoon, I go downstairs. I can’t even look at him in the face anymore, being super embarrassed. 

When we get to the kitchen, everyone’s stare is on us. Head hanging low and a small smile on my lips, I go sitting next to Wonwoo while Jihoon takes the chair beside Chanyeol. 

**“What took you so long?”** Joshua asks, breaking the silence. 

**“We were talking to my mom,”** I answer. 

**“There was a minor inconvenience,”** Jihoon says at the same time. 

**“Define minor inconvenience.”** Seungcheol props his chin on his hands, curious to know what happened. 

**“Soonyoung needed to use Joshua’s room to call his mom and he walked in on me after I showered,”** Jihoon admits, shy and quite ashamed of the situation. 

**“Again?!”**

As that word leaves Joshua’s mouth, Jihoon and I snap our heads towards him and everyone follows our movement. At that moment, I could have used the power to turn people into ashes with just a stare. I would very much like using it on Joshua. 

Wonwoo looks at me, waiting for an explanation and the same does Chanyeol with Jihoon. 

**“What does it mean _‘again’_?”** Wonwoo asks me. 

**“Has he already seen you like that?”** Chanyeol asks Jihoon. 

I feel like I could burst in tears from a moment to another. This was the only thing I didn’t want to happen. Joshua even promised he wouldn’t talk about it in front of Wonwoo. One day, that hyung is going to be partially the cause of my downfall. 

**“Actually-”** Joshua is quick to interrupt me.

**“It’s a figure of speech!”** He laughs. **“What are y’all thinking?”**

**“Right!”** Jihoon awkwardly chuckles. **“I was dressed and I was in there because I wanted to take the hairdryer to the bathroom.”**

**“That’s true.”** At this point, I can only lie like they’re doing and hoping not to get caught. 

**“When I went into the living room, I saw Jihoon upstairs and he was dressed.”** Seokmin lies, too, trying his best to back us up. 

**“Do you really think I would go around half naked?”** Jihoon snorts, looking at a confused Chanyeol.

**“We know he is shameless but not up to this point!”** Joshua starts. 

**“Hyung! I’m not shameless!”**

**“Yes, you are.”** Seungcheol agrees as he takes a mouthful of the jjigae. 

**“So shameless and with no manner that you sometimes scold your hyungs,”** Jeonghan adds. 

**“And you don’t answer to our texts in the group chat when we ask you things,”** Mingyu quickly takes advantage of the situation to get brave and say that to Jihoon.

**“And you get late to our practices...”** Seungkwan trails off, sorting the thoughts in his mind to look for things to blame on Jihoon. 

**“Well, go on. I have the whole day to hear you ranting about me.”** Jihoon furrows his brows and puffs his cheeks, annoyed after the teasing.

Everyone laughs at his expression and the mood seems to lighten thanks to the guys’ jokes. Joshua and Jihoon’s last minute save has apparently been a success and they managed to fool the others. 

Still, some time passes before I can completely relax and enjoy the rest of the evening between toasts and waves of laughter that never stop filling the room. 

Around eleven, Joshua’s parents are back so we all have to leave. Wonwoo insists on walking me home so we leave but not before having helped them clean up the mess we made. 

The atmosphere between us seems to be a little bit tense. As we walk, he has his arm wrapped around my shoulders so he can keep me close to him but I can sense that something is not right. He seems to be lost in a maze of thoughts but I guess this is not the right time to ask him. Instead, I try to enjoy the view of the snow covering the streets, the rooftops, overpowering every colour with its whiteness. I try focusing on the flakes floating in a magnificent dance, the air being their stage, the light from the lampposts their spotlight and the whistling wind the music their dancing to. 

It’s only when we’re at my front door that I get brave enough to ask him _the_ question. 

**“What are you thinking about?”**

**“Nothing,”** he gives the expected answer. 

**“I can see it on your face that there’s something going on in there and there.”** I bring my index to his forehead and then to his heart. **“You can tell me everything, you know.”**

**“It’s nothing, really.”**

**“Well, if it’s nothing I can’t see why you can’t tell me,”** I insist, knowing it’s the only way to make sure he lets everything out so he could feel better. 

**“Can I even win against you?”** He chuckles and gives me a bear hug. 

**“Mmmh..no.”**

We both giggle and then break the hug so that Wonwoo can explain what’s happening to him. **“To be honest, I was thinking about when you and Jihoon came downstairs and at how Joshua looked happy to see you two together.”** His eyes lose focus as he recalls the scene. **“I know he wanted Jihoon to be your boyfriend. He had always said that before I met you and even when Jihoon and Chanyeol got together.”** He deeply sighs. **“Joshua is the person who knows you the best and if he says you and Jihoon are a match made in heaven, it makes me feel like I’m not enough for you.”** His voice breaks and my heart tightens at the sight of a fragile Wonwoo. **“At first, it was easier to bear with this feeling because you and Jihoon didn’t get along. However, now, you spend so much time together. Seeing both of you bantering and smiling makes me think that maybe Joshua is right.”**

Wonwoo hangs his head low and looks at his feet, afraid I could confirm his thoughts and fears. My eyes get watery at the thought of how he must’ve felt when he saw us and because of how Joshua wouldn’t shut up about his theories on Jihoon and me. 

_ ‘How can he think he’s not enough for me?’  _

I take his hands and hold them tight, a fire burning in my eyes as I tell him, **“Look at me.”**

Wonwoo does lift his head to look at me in the eyes.

**“Joshua can think whatever he wants but he doesn’t know what I think and feel. Jihoon is just a friend. At first, I didn’t like him but then I gave him a second chance and saw he’s not that bad. However, this doesn’t mean I have feelings for him. If that was the case, I wouldn’t be with you right now. The only person I like, the only one for whom I have feelings is you and you should never doubt that.”** I leave one of his hands to hold mine up, pinky sticking out. **“Promise me you will never think those things again.”**

**“But…”**

**“No buts. I told you I like you and all you need to do is to believe me.”**

He links his pinky with mine and says, **“I like you too, Soons.”**

Wonwoo inches closer and kisses me. 

Every time it happens, I can feel the butterflies in my stomach and I’m thrown back to the time we first kissed in that glowing garden. The weight of my feelings is too much that my knees can’t bear my actual weight. Somehow, Wonwoo knows it and he steadies me, his hands coming to hold me by my hips. I lock my hands on his nape and our breaths become one. 

I’m on cloud nine once again. 

As we kiss, with the corner of my eye, I see Jihoon walking past my house. He is wearing a weird expression, almost sad but I can really tell as we’re quite far from each other and he’s standing on the dark side of the road. Plus, I’m so inebriated by the kiss that I soon lose the concept of time and space and, for what I know, Jihoon could’ve been just a trick played by my mind. 

When Wonwoo and I part, we’re short on breath and we’re both shy as we smile at each other. I slowly walk backwards, eyes never leaving his. 

**“So, good night.”**

**“Goodnight.”**

Before walking in, I wave at him one last time and he does the same. I lock the door behind me and slide on the ground, back leaning on the wooden surface, the last trace of energy and control leaving my body. 

I know I won’t make it to my bed feeling like this so I barely manage to throw myself on the sofa. 

Once I succeed in climbing up the couch, I hide my face behind my hands and shriek thinking about Wonwoo’s face when I left him. 

Everything was perfect out there: me, him, the snow and the kiss. 

_ ‘Stop Soonyoung, act normal for once. You’ve been together for a while now and you can’t be on the verge of fainting every time you kiss him. Be a man!’  _

I try to get myself together, trying to regain my lost sanity and, as I give myself tips on how to act next time we kiss, I slip into the awaited dreamland where everything smells like Wonwoo and, strangely, like Jihoon too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here I am after 10 days since the last update. It's like the more I want to update on a regular schedule, the more everything gets against it. I tried to come back with a longer and spicier chapter though hahaha 
> 
> After spending two weeks apart, do you think that something changed? Any guess about what Soonyoung bought Jihoon for Christmas? Is Wonwoo right about Soonyoung and Jihoon being meant to be? Let me know what you think!! 
> 
> As always, thank you for being patient with me and my updates, for still sticking with me after six months of this au. The best part is yet to come! And also thank you for the 100+ kudos, this means really a lot to me T-T
> 
> See you soon!! <3


	25. Chapter 25

Today, it’s Christmas Eve and, to tell you the truth, it’s a bit sad that I can’t spend it with my parents but I’m excited to spend it with my friends. 

We made plans for the entire week, from today until New Year’s day and almost every day is going to be a busy one as everyone suggested a lot of different things to do and try. For example, Mingyu suggested to spend Christmas Eve with our families so that on Christmas we could have lunch together and then hang out in the evening; Seungkwan proposed to try ice-skating, ready to get footage of our asses hitting the ground, including his; Wonwoo thought it could be fun to spend an entire day at someone’s house doing a Christmas movie marathon eating take-out food and drinking hot, homemade chocolate. 

Of course, we left some free days that will be surely filled by those relatives who come to visit their families, to have neverending lunches or dinners, to bring presents and to tell the same old stories next to the fireplace: funny ones, cringy ones, boring ones. 

Luckily or sadly, this year I’m exempted from family meetings but Jihoon and Joshua promised me to keep me company even during these times so that I won’t feel lonely. I teased them saying they will forget about me the moment they’ll see their uncles or cousins walk in through the door but Joshua and Jihoon exchanged one look and hit me at the same time on the head, telling me they won’t leave me alone, not even for a second. 

They are willing to keep their promise but I’m willing to have at least twelve hours for myself so that I can laze around and mentally prepare to have people around me for the next week and a half. 

So here I am, making breakfast in the kitchen to start my twelve-hour-freedom! I cooked some bacon with side-sunny up eggs and toasted bread. I basically inhale the food on the couch while watching the tv and the morning basically goes on like this with me going back and forth from the kitchen and the living room, eating whatever I can find and laying on the couch. I can finally catch up with an on-air drama that I started but put on hold for a while, too busy dating Wonwoo to watch it. 

I was immersed in a fight between the female lead and the male lead’s mother when my phone buzzes. I try to ignore it but it keeps buzzing and I understand I have no choice but to answer if I wanted it to stop. 

**“What?”** I shout annoyed at Joshua. 

**“My little bro, I see you are awake.”**

**“It’s almost two in the afternoon, of course, I’m awake!”**

**“Of course? Soons, when you’re home alone you wake up at four in the afternoon!”** Joshua giggles.

**“It was one time.”** I sigh. **“It happened just one time and it was because I fell asleep at seven in the morning due to binge-watching a tv series. You know it.”**

**“Yeah, yeah, sure thing.”** Here it comes his sarcastic tone that only gets me more annoyed. 

**“I hope you called me for a valid reason!”** I take a bite from the piece of sundae I’ve been holding for quite a while. **“The drama I was watching had gotten to the good part aka the kimchi slap.”**

**“One, don’t talk with your mouth full of food or you’ll end up choking. Second, they still do that in dramas? They still let the guy’s mother hit the girl with kimchi? It’s gross. Third, it’s about dinner. Mom said to be here at eight, so you have six hours to get ready. Is it enough time for your slow ass?”**

**“Ah, ah, ah.”** I fake a laugh. **“You’re so not funny!”**

**“You know I am funny. So, see you at eight?”**

**“Yup, I’ll be on time, don’t worry.”**

**“Bye, then! Enjoy your time before the home invasion!”**

**“I will!”**

When Joshua hangs up, I finish watching the episode before getting ready to make the dessert for tonight. I have bought all the ingredients to make a pie with custard and fresh fruit, Mrs Hong’s favourite one. 

I blast some music while baking and eat some more but the dessert is ready and decorated by six o’clock, giving me enough time to relax in the bathtub, body immersed in hot water, a bath bomb making it all look glittery and sparkly. At some point, I even doze off in the tub but, knowing myself, I had set an alarm so that I wouldn’t end up being late. 

Once I’m all clean and sweet-smelling, I head to my room to choose an outfit. It’s going to be just the four of us so I don’t wear anything too fancy. I pick a pair of blue jeans with a white t-shirt and a mustard-coloured sweater with holes in it (it’s not old, it’s just how fashion works nowadays). 

_ ‘Yup, this is perfect.’  _

I take the gifts and the pie I made, lock my house’s door and rush to Joshua’s house. When I check the time on my phone, I’m perfectly on time. The numbers on the screen had just changed from 7:59 to 8:00. 

Joshua opens the door and he’s almost shocked to see me standing there. 

**“I thought you would be late for at least fifteen minutes!”** He says moving away so that I could walk in the house and toe my shoes off. 

**“Surprise! Now, take the pie and put it in the fridge so I can take my coat off.”**

**“You didn’t have to make a pie, dear.”** Mrs Hong appears from the kitchen, snatching the dessert from her son’s hands. 

**“Yes, I had to. Plus, it’s your favourite.”**

She peeks inside the box and beams at the sight of the fruit on top of the custard. **“You know me too well.”**

**“Don’t spoil her too much, son.”** Mr Hong says from his spot on the couch. 

**“She has been cooking food for the four of us, she deserves a reward.”** I grin as I join him and Joshua in the living room, placing the gifts under the big Christmas tree standing next to the window. 

**“Come sit with us, we were watching The Grinch.”** Joshua pats the space next to him. 

**“I think I’ll check to see if your mom needs help in the kitchen.”**

**“She said she’s almost done!”** He waves his hand absentmindedly, eyes trained on the tv screen. 

**“That’s because you don’t want to be the do-nothing between the two of us.”**

**“You caught me.”**

**“I know you too well.”**

We both giggle and he ends up joining me and his mother in the kitchen. She really was almost done with the dinner so she simply lets us setting the table and decorating it with Christmas-y centrepieces and even some fake snow. 

Once the plates were all laid down on the table, we take our places and start digging into the delicious food Mrs Hong made. Her cooking is the best, second to my mother’s of course. 

During the dinner, we facetimed my parents and talked a bit with them, joking about how peaceful and quiet was the dinner without them. They pretended to be hurt and sad but we eventually laughed at that and admitted it was weird not having them around. They hang up when one of their friends tells them it was time to eat the dessert which becomes the cue to also bring my pie out. 

Mrs Hong cuts the slices and Mr Hong is expecting to get the biggest one, but to his surprise (not ours, though) he gets a normal one while the biggest one is for Mrs Hong herself. Joshua’s father feels the betrayal and almost pouts which is a rare sight, hence why Joshua brings is phone out and takes pictures of this scene and sends it to his family overseas who immediately teases Mr Hong. 

When we’re actually done with the dinner, Joshua and I suggest to Joshua’s mother to be the ones to clean up but she refuses, telling us to hurry up and go to my house as Seokmin texted me saying he was on his way. 

Why Seokmin is coming over? Because we’re going to have a pyjama party at my house! I know my parents said no parties at my house but they had agreed to this as well as the lunch we’re going to have tomorrow with the guys. I’ll be stuck for more the next 24 hours with Joshua and Seokmin and it’s amazing! I know I’m going to be their third wheel, but still, I’ll have my best friends next to me for a whole day. We’re going to have a lot of fun! 

The moment I was about to turn the key into the lock, Seokmin’s dad drops him off in my driveway. He quickly waves to his father first and then he runs to us with a bright smile on his face. 

**“I’m legit excited for this, you know?”** He says. 

**“Me too. The three of us haven’t slept together for such a long time!”**

**“I know, right?”**

**“We’re just going to sleep, what’s exciting about this?”** Joshua chimes in. **“Please, open the door. It’s freezing out here.”**

**“You’re seriously no fun, hyung.”** Seokmin huffs looking at Joshua. 

**“It’s almost midnight, what do you want to do at this hour?”** Joshua hurries inside the house once I open the door and move so that they can walk in. 

**“Play truth or dare?”** Seokmin gives a strange look to Joshua who seems to understand what his friend meant with that stare. 

**“Really? It’s just the three of us, though,”** I say as I launch the keys on the living room’s table and already get myself to work on the arrangement of the sofas so we can sleep in here. 

Seokmin runs to help me. **“I know but it’s to kill some time. I’m not sleepy at all.”**

**“We could watch a movie.”**

**“Too boring,”** Joshua shouts from the kitchen, rummaging the fridge for drinks and maybe something to eat as if he hadn’t already eaten a lot. **“Truth or dare seems the best option anyway.”**

**“Okay, then. But don’t complain if that too gets boring, am I clear?”**

**“Yes, sir.”** They shout at the same time. 

We change into our pyjamas and I make some hot chocolate before we all gather around the coffee table to play the game. To decide who goes first, we play a round of rock, paper, scissors. Oddly, I win. 

**“Seokmin, truth or dare?”**

**“Let’s go easy, for now. Truth.”** Seokmin brings his knees closer to him, maybe a little bit afraid of what I was going to ask him. 

**“Is it true that you had a summer fling with Yugyeom this summer?”**

**“What? No! Absolutely not!”** His eyes widen and he shakes his head. 

**“Wait, where did this come from?”** Joshua asks, confused. 

**“I heard one of his classmate saying that Yugyeom and Seokmin have spent their summer holidays together and that Yugyeom can’t shut up about our Seokminie so they thought they had a fling,”** I explain, sipping my hot cocoa. 

**“It’s true that we went to the same resort this summer but there wasn’t anything between us, I swear,”** Seokmin says while looking at Joshua. 

**“I know, it was just to tease you,”** I smirk at him, evilly. **“It’s your turn to ask.”**

**“Truth or dare?”** Seokmin asks Joshua. 

**“Dare.”**

**“So brave, our hyung!”** I mock him. **“Seokmin, make him regret choosing dare.”**

**“Oh, I will.”** Something shifts in Seokmin’s gaze, there’s an evil glint in his eyes when he says, **“I dare you to text the last person you sent a flirty text to and ask them if they’d like to go on a date with you.”**

_ ‘What is Seokmin doing? Is he trying to ruin his chance with Joshua hyung?’ _

**“No problem.”** Joshua takes his phone out from his bag and quickly types a text, pressing the send button. 

At that moment, Seokmin’s phone buzzes. I put my cup on the table and rush to Seokmin’s side to check who sent him a text.

**“Don’t tell me…”** I trail off when on Seokmin’s screen I see Joshua’s name and a simple _‘Want to go on a date with me?’_ written on it. **“Oh my God. What is happening?”**

**“I sent him a flirty text this afternoon, one of those weird pick-up lines and that’s why I now sent him this text.”**

Seokmin is still in a shocked state, mouth open and eyes blinking as he stares at his phone. **“Do I really have to go on a date with you now?”**

**“You dared me so you can only accept my invitation. You can think of it as a friendly date.”** Joshua shrugs and puts his phone back in his backpack.

Seokmin clears his throat and, with evident redness on his cheeks, says **“Okay, then. You choose when and where.”** He takes a long sip from his cup. **“You ask Soonyoung, now.”**

**“Right. Truth or dare?”**

**“Truth.”** I’m too afraid of this man to answer ‘dare’. If I did, it would’ve meant willingly throwing myself into a cage with a hungry lion. 

His usual devilish grin is back. **“Do you like more Jihoon or Wonwoo?”**

**“What?”**

**“You heard me well, Soons.”**

**“I mean, it’s obvious I like Wonwoo, he’s my boyfriend!”**

**“But what about Jihoon? Don’t you like him?”** Seokmin asks, once again his knees close to his chest so he can rest his arms on them. 

**“I like him but as a friend. It’s a kind of liking different from Wonwoo’s.”**

**“You really never thought of him as something more than a friend?”** Joshua questions me and wears the expression of someone who wants to hear only the truth. **“Never felt a tad bit attracted to him?”**

**“If I have to be honest with you, I did. When I saw him half naked but I guess it’s normal considering I’m a teenager and my hormones are all over the place.”** I stand up, annoyed by the fact that they’re once again bringing this topic up. **“If Seokmin had seen him, he would’ve been attracted to him, too. However, this doesn’t mean I necessarily want him as something more than a friend.”**

**“But the way you look at each other-”**

**“Stop, please.”** I interrupt Joshua to beg him. **“You know me. If you keep pushing me like that, I’ll end up pushing Jihoon away so that you would stop reading too much into things. I would lose him as a friend and I don’t want that.”** Tears threaten to fall from my eyes. **“Not now that I found him,”** I whisper to myself.

**“I’m sorry, Soonyoung. I didn’t mean to do that.”** Joshua stands up and comes closer to hug me. I let his arms embrace me and I lean my head on his chest.

**“Should we wrap the game up? It’s late and we all have to get some sleep as tomorrow is going to be a busy one. We have to cook for ten people,”** Seokmin says as he comes over to pet my hair as one would do with children. 

**“More like an army considering how much Mingyu and Soonyoung eat.”**

**“Hey!”** I pinch Joshua’s side and laugh. 

**“Let’s all go to sleep, c’mon.”**

Joshua pulls away from the hug and pinches my cheek. I turn off the light and everyone tucks themselves under the blankets. Not even five minutes later, we’re all lulled by Morpheus’s arms.

  
  


Next morning I wake up because of a ringing sound. Thinking it’s the alarm, I sit on the sofa and look for my phone that’s probably somewhere beneath the blankets. However, the moment I find it, it’s the moment I realise that the ringing it’s not a constant one. It interrupts only to start again a minute or so later. 

The doorbell, that’s where the sound comes from. 

**“Who’s at the door this early in the morning?”** I mutter to myself as I reach the door, scratching my head and trying to comb my hair with my fingers. 

When I open the door, I’m surprised to find Jihoon, standing there and about to ring again. 

**“You finally woke up!”** He pushes the scarf that was covering his mouth down and smiles. 

**“Come in.”** I move away and he walks in, taking off his shoes, scarf and coat. **“What are you doing here?”**

**“Keeping you company! I promised you I wouldn’t leave you by yourself these days.”** Jihoon goes straight for one of the stools in the kitchen. 

**“There’s no need to.”** I join him, rubbing the sleep away from my eyes as I walk and almost tripping over my own feet. **“Why haven’t you called?”**

**“I did but you wouldn’t pick up. I guessed you were still sleeping so I decided to just come over and take you out for breakfast. Just something quick before helping you cooking for today’s lunch.”**

**“That’s kind of you but I think we should just call Kihyun and tell him to bring the usual for breakfast.”**

**“We could do that too if you don’t want to go.”** He fumbles with a bottle cap he had found on the table. **“Actually, it’s too cold outside.”**

**“I’ll call him then.”** I punch the number on the keyboard and wait for Kihyun to answer the call before ordering three caramel macchiato, a black coffee and four big chocolate muffins. 

**“Why did you order so much? It’s just the two of us,”** Jihoon says as soon as I hang up. 

**“Because…”**

**“We’re here too.”** Joshua emerges from the living room, Seokmin trailing behind him. From their expression, they’ve been awake for quite a while and just waited for the right time to pop out. 

**“Oh, why are you here?”** Jihoon asks. 

**“Why are _you_ here? Isn’t a bit too early to be at someone’s house?” **

**“First, it’s ten in the morning so it’s not early. Second, I’m here to make sure he woke up and he’s ready to cook for us,”** Jihoon explains. **“Now, it’s your turn to answer my question.”**

**“We had a pyjama party so that we could be already here and help Soons with the cooking.”** Joshua places himself on the stool right in front of Jihoon’s. 

**“You had a pyjama party and I knew nothing about it?”** Jihoon looks at me feeling betrayed. 

**“It was pretty boring. We tried to play truth or dare but went to sleep right after the first round,”** Seokmin says, finally speaking as he’s now a tad bit more awake. 

**“Truth or dare? Something juicy happening?”**

**“Joshua hyung asked Seokmin on a date,”** I tell Jihoon, happy to see some action between those two who have been pining for each other since who-knows-when. 

**“Finally! I thought this wasn’t going to ever happen!”**

**“I know, right?”**

**“What do you mean?”** Joshua glares at us and we immediately stop talking about them. 

**“N-nothing. It was just a figure of speech,”** I try defending Jihoon and me and I’m saved by the doorbell. **“This must be Kihyun.”**

**“I’m going to take it. I’m the one who barged in here so it’s only fair if I buy breakfast.”** He gets up and talks to Kihyun for a bit before coming back in the kitchen with our coffees and food. 

Jihoon and I exchange glances as we look at Joshua and Seokmin barely making eye contact, too shy and too aware about what had happened last night. They will have to go on a date but they don't know how to act around each other in the meantime that’s why we were now looking at a quite bold Joshua who couldn’t help but stare at Seokmin who was a blushing mess. 

It was amusing seeing this side of them which rarely came out. They have been so frustrating, Seokmin has heart eyes for whatever Joshua does but he is too dense to realise that Joshua looks at him with the same loving gaze and just pretends to flirt with other people because he’s not sure about how Seokmin feels. To us outsiders, it was pretty obvious and I hope it’s going to be this way for them too after the date so they can finally be together. At that point, we could officially have double dates or triple if Chanyeol and Jihoon wanted to join. His name makes a bell ring in my head. 

**“Is Chanyeol coming later?”**

**“Mmh, no. He said he would be busy the whole day so he won’t be able to join us at all today,”** Jihoon says and he seems unaffected by the news, almost relieved that his boyfriend won’t be here. 

**“Oh, I see.”**

An awkward silence falls on us until Joshua clasps and rubs his hands saying, **“Should we get started with the cooking before it gets too late?”**

**“Aye!”** We all shout in unison. 

Seokmin cleans the table while I take the ingredients out of the fridge and pass them to Jihoon and Joshua who place them on the kitchen counter. As they’re all going to help me, I hand them an apron each and they wear it. 

**“Let me help you,”** I say when I see Jihoon struggling to tie the strings on his back. 

**“I can do it, don’t worry.”** He looks at me, still trying to make a knot on his own. 

I hit his hands and he finally lets the strings go. **“Here, that’s how you do it.”** His back is facing me as I take the strings from the front, make them go around his waist and then tying them. **“Done.”**

**“Thank you.”** Jihoon turns around and gives me a smile. 

**“Shit, that was domestic,”** Seokmin suddenly exclaims and Joshua giggles. 

**“Shut up and let’s get this food ready,”** I push them both towards the table and pass them some vegetables that need to be chopped. 

Thanks to them, the cooking is done sooner than expected. Joshua and Seokmin are good at chopping and cutting things while Jihoon is a valid assistant. He’s fast and a quick learner. He had done most of the work, leaving me nothing to do but passing him the ingredients and tasting the different dishes to see if they were cooked, too salty or too bland. That’s why I decided to give him credits for this after the boys will taste the food.

**“Since we’re done, should we take turns to wash up and change? We’re still wearing our pyjamas,”** Joshua makes us notice this detail and both Seokmin and I look at each other to confirm that, yes, we definitely needed to change clothes. 

**“Rock-paper-scissors to see who has to go first?”** Seokmin proposes. 

**“Let’s do it!”**

Joshua, Seokmin and I play three rounds, all won by Joshua. He goes first, then, of course, it’s going to be Seokmin’s turn and I will be the last. 

Jihoon pats me on the shoulder. **“Think that you will be relaxing while we’re going to set the table and welcome the guests.”**

**“I will have to hurry or else what kind of host they will take me for?”** I groan. 

**“I’ll cover for you and tell them it was Joshua’s fault. They’ll pester him and leave you alone.”** He whispers in my ear and then chuckles. 

**“Lee Jihoon, you’re a mean man,”** I say but eventually ending up chuckling too. 

**“This is called telling the truth. It’s not being mean but being honest.”**

I shake my head, still smiling. **“Help me tidying up the living room. We need to take away all the blankets and put the sofas to their original place.”**

**“Yes, sir.”**

We clean up, almost starting a pillow fight which is luckily avoided thanks to Joshua who came downstairs, glaring at us. It was a clear warning about not to make a mess before the guests arrived. Jihoon and I smile at him like the two angels we are and get back to tidy everything up while Joshua starts washing the utensils we used to cook. 

By the time Seokmin is done, every corner of the house shines so they all sit on the sofa watching the tv while I go upstairs to shower, hoping the boys won’t arrive any time soon. 

Of course, they get here the moment I step in the shower cabin and I wonder if Jihoon really blamed Joshua hyung for my absence. 

As I was drying my hair, I hear a knock on the door. 

**“It’s open!”** I shout over the sound of the hairdryer. 

**“Are you done?”** Jihoon head peaks from the door and I thank God I was at least wearing my boxers and black jeans. **“Joshua wants to know if he can start heating some of the dishes.”**

**“I just need to dry my hair, so tell him he can do that.”**

**“Okay,”** Jihoon says but doesn’t walk away. He stays next to the door, staring at me. 

**“What? Why are you staring?”**

**“What do you think?”** He winks as he bites his lower lip and then chuckles. 

**“You pervert! Get out! Immediately!”** I throw a damp towel at him but he closes the door before it could hit him. 

_ ‘What has gotten into him? Why is he being such a flirt these days?’  _

I shake my head to get rid of the image of him winking and biting his lips, then I keep drying my hair, trying to convince myself that my cheeks are red due to the heat coming from the hairdryer. 

  
  


When I go downstairs, everyone had already taken their place around the table, leaving a spot for me in between Wonwoo and Jihoon. 

**“I’m sorry if I wasn’t the one welcoming you,”** I say as I sit down, giving a peck on Wonwoo’s cheek. 

**“Don’t worry, we know it’s Joshua hyung’s fault,”** Seungkwan says, glaring at the said hyung. 

**“It’s not my fault he couldn’t win at rock-paper-scissors.”** Joshua shrugs. 

**“Still, you could’ve let him go after you.”**

The others follow Seungkwan and start pestering Joshua, blaming him for my being late in joining them at the table. 

**“Did you tell them?”** I whisper in Jihoon’s ear while the others are busy shouting at each other. 

Jihoon places his hand on my leg and leans in to whisper too. **“Yup, they asked why you weren’t there and I told them the truth. No need to thank me”**

He looks at me, hands still softly put on my thigh, and winks. I roll my eyes but I let a small chuckle slip out of my mouth. Then, I look around and see that they all had stopped bickering and were now talking like normal people usually do. 

Wonwoo is staring down at Jihoon but when he notices me looking at him, his expression immediately changes and he smiles, taking my hand under the table. 

I can feel the tension in the air and it’s becoming uncomfortable but before I could think further into this, Seungcheol speaks. 

**“Let’s eat, please. I’m starving and I can’t wait for you to open my gifts!”**

The lunch goes by smoothly. We managed to avoid a food battle between Mingyu and Seungkwan, the latter was really trying his best to annoy the shit out of his taller friend. 

As for me, I constantly felt like I was standing (well, more like sitting) in between two fires. One kept glancing at the other and they barely exchanged a word. When Jihoon tried to get my attention and talked to me for more than five minutes, Wonwoo would get possessive and wrapped his arm around my shoulder to pull me closer to him and put distance between Jihoon and me. Noticing that and remembering the talk Wonwoo and I had, I tried to keep my conversation with Jihoon to a minimum, making a mental note to explain him everything as soon as we had some spare time alone. 

Joshua and Seokmin volunteer to wash the dishes and, taking the hint, I push everyone in the living room to leave the two love-birds by themselves. They must have a lot to talk about and I just hope things are going to turn out well. 

Some of the boys are squishing on one of the sofas while some of them (read Seungkwan and Seungcheol) are laying on the other two couches, belly almost exploding due to how much food they had eaten. Wonwoo has taken the armchair and he’s letting me sit on his lap, his arm encircling my waist and chin resting on my shoulder. 

No one speaks and some of us doze off as we wait for everyone to be in here so that we can move to the most awaited moment of the day, the moment in which we will all exchange our gifts. 

When, after half an hour, I see Joshua and Seokmin walk in the room, I feel a knot tying in my stomach. I feel nervous as I wonder if they will all like the presents I chose for them, if maybe I had to work a little harder to find the perfect ones for each one of them. 

Wonwoo seems to notice the slight shift in my mood because he pulls me closer to him and tightens the hold on my waist. I turn around to look at him and he simply smiles at me. Call me whipped, but this is enough to calm me down a bit. 

**“Since we’re all here, who wants to start?”** Seungcheol finally sits on the couch, making space for Joshua and Seokmin. 

**“I’ll go first!”** Mingyu yells, rushing to the corner of the room where all the gifts were. **“I’ll be the ice breaker!”**

He hands to each one of us their bag and then goes back to sit down between Jihoon and Jeonghan. After him, there’s Seungkwan, then Seungcheol, Jeonghan and so on. 

When someone gave us our present, we were quick to open it up to check what we’ve gotten. 

So far, I got shirts, phone cases, socks, gift cards to use at _‘Coffee & Goodpie’_ and to buy manhwas. Wonwoo got me a book I had been wanting to read for ages. 

Now, it’s Jihoon’s turn and he hands me a small paper bag with a box inside of it. I take the white box and I slowly open it with trembling hands. There’s a necklace inside: a silver pendant with a tiger on it standing beneath a starry sky and a crescent moon. 

It’s beautiful and I can’t stop looking at it, brushing the carved tiger with my fingertips. I steal a quick glance at Jihoon. His eyes were already on me and I smile at him, trying to convey to him how grateful I am for the necklace. 

I manage to close the case and put it back in the bag only when it’s my turn to hand the gifts. 

Jihoon is the last one to whom I go to because I don’t want to miss his reaction when he opens it. Once again, I’m super nervous but the moment his eyes light up at the sight of the new pair of drumsticks, the frown on my face is replaced with a smile. 

Yup, drumsticks were the perfect gift for him. 

One of the first times I went over to his house, I had noticed the collection of his old sticks and he had so many of them with different styles and patterns on them. That’s why when I saw this pair of black drumsticks, I just knew I had to get them for him. 

To make this pair even more special than the ones he already has, I asked the seller to make a small carving on each one of the sticks. On one are now carved, in a scarlet red, the words “From Hoshi to Jihoonie” and on the other one, the date of this Christmas. 

Judging by his agape mouth and his teary eyes, I had done a great job. However, to be sure he liked it, I’ll just ask him later when we will be alone. 

For now, his reaction still counts as a small victory. 

  
  


**“So, what’s the big thing y’all wanted to talk about?”** I ask, placing the tray with the cups full of hot chocolate on the coffee table. 

**“We had a gig in a club some time ago, right?”** Jeonghan asks to which all of us nod. **“Well, the owner called Seungcheol this morning and they want us to be regular performers starting from after holidays.”**

**“Are you serious?”** Seungkwan’s eyes grow wide and his head snaps towards Mingyu who’s wearing the same expression as him. 

**“They really want us to play for them?”** Wonwoo, who’s usually good at controlling his emotions, is also shocked. 

**“They do.”** Seungcheol reaches for one of the cups on the table and takes a sip of the chocolate. **“They really liked our music and they said the customers have been talking about us a lot.”**

**“You’re going to be famous!”** I throw my arms in the air, flailing them in excitement. **“Isn’t that great?”**

**“This calls for a celebration!”** Seokmin shouts from his spot on the floor, hitting Joshua on the knee so he could say something. 

**“We could go out tonight and have a drink, what do you think?”** Joshua eventually asks to all of us. 

**“We definitely should before you become too famous to hang out with us.”**

**“Soonyoung, don’t say that! We will always have time for you and Seokmin.”** Mingyu smiles and it makes his words sound like a genuine promise. 

**“However, he’s right. We need to celebrate tonight,”** Jihoon says while looking at every one of us. 

**“I’m sorry but I promised my mom that I would’ve been home tonight. We hadn’t had lunch together today so she said I should be home for dinner.”** Seungkwan shoulders slump a bit. 

**“Yeah, me too actually.”** Mingyu sighs. 

**“Jeonghan and I have a double date with my older brother and his fiancèe so we can’t tonight.”** Seungcheol downs his hot drink and places the cup back in the tray. **“But we can celebrate another time, right?”**

I nod. **“Well, the rest of us can still hang out, though. What do you think?”**

Wonwoo, Jihoon, Joshua and Seokmin all agree for a night together at the noraebang. 

We stay a little bit more in the living room chatting about the band’s new songs, what to do on New Year’s Eve and how to manage time to see each other once they will start rehearsing for their once-a-week performance in the club outside the city. 

Mingyu being caught dozing off on the couch was the cue for everyone to go back to their houses and spend the rest of the days with their own family and their own things to do. 

Wonwoo goes back home too to get changed for the night and we agree to meet at the noraebang we always go to. At some point, Joshua and Jihoon go to their houses too, wanting to take a quick shower and then come back here since we live in the same neighbourhood and it won’t take them that long to change. 

Seokmin and I are the only ones left at my house and we decided to just get already dressed for the night before those two brats could come again and bother us. 

While Seokmin is in the bathroom, I take the phone and facetime my parents to tell them not to worry about the house and to thank them for letting the boys come here. We had a good time together and my parents seemed to be happy to hear about it. Of course, mom kept on asking about Jihoon and only stopped when I promised her to call later so she could wish him a merry Christmas. When I hear the lock of the bathroom door, I hang up and relieve Seokmin to take a (hopefully) long hot shower. 

I walk in my room twenty minutes later to find a Seokmin dressed in a black and white striped sweater and a pair of white jeans, his hair styled down. 

**“You look good!”** I repeatedly slap on his back. **“Wanting to look good for someone in particular?”**

**“Not really.”** His cheeks redden. 

**“Right, I forgot. You already scored yourself a date with him,”** I chuckle as I put on a white turtleneck I took from the closet. 

**“I still can’t believe what happened last night.”** Seokmin sits on the bed and grabs his head. **“How could I’ve known I was the last person he flirted with through texts?”**

**“You couldn’t know, you’re just lucky.”** I grab a pair of light blue jeans that was laying on the bed next to where Seokmin was sitting. **“or it could be fate telling you this is the right time to confess your feelings for him.”**

**“I don’t know. I don’t think he reciprocates my feelings.”**

**“If you don’t tell him, you’ll never know.”**

**“But what if I lose him once I confess?”**

I get closer to him and put my hands on his shoulder, looking at him straight in the eyes. **“Trust me on this, you won’t lose him.”**

**“How do you know?”**

**“I just do. So, please, listen to me and put the words _‘the end’_ to your and his pining.” **

Seokmin nods and at that time, the doorbell rings too. 

We go downstairs and Joshua and Jihoon are there, all handsome and ready for the night. As they get comfortable in the living room, I check them out and I can’t help but smile at how they dressed up to go to a simple noraebang. Joshua is wearing a red turtleneck, jeans and a long beige coat meanwhile Jihoon has a white and beige striped shirt, light blue jeans and an azure jacket on it. 

**“At what time should we meet with Wonwoo?”** Joshua says plopping on the sofa right in front of the tv. 

**“At nine at the noraebang.”** I look at the clock on the wall. **“It’s almost six now. What should we do to kill time?”**

**“Should we watch a movie?”**

**  
** **“Sounds good to me!”** Seokmin says taking the place next to Joshua on the sofa. 

**“Yeah, we could do that,”** Jihoon agrees with them. 

**“Well, you pick a movie and I will bring food and drink, okay?”**

**“Call!”** They all shout. 

I was about to head to the kitchen when I remember my phone call with mom. **“Oh, Jihoon, can you come with me in the kitchen?”** I ask a very much confused Jihoon. 

**“Okay, sure.”**

We step in the kitchen and he helps me taking the bowls to pour the chips in and he puts the corn in the microwave to make it pop. 

**“Jihoon, I have a favour to ask you.”** I’m way too embarrassed about what my mom was about to make me do. 

**“Shoot.”** He leans with his back on the kitchen counter, arms crossed over his chest. 

**“Well, I talked to my mother before and she wanted you to phone her.”** I put my head in the fridge to take some cans of coke as a way not to look at him.

**“That’s it?”**

My head snaps towards him, slamming the door on accident **“What do you mean?”**

**“You made it look like as if you were about to ask me for one of my organs so you could sell it at the black market.”** Jihoon giggles and shuffles towards the microwave as the timer stopped and the alarm went off. **“If it’s about calling your mother, I can do that.”**

**“It’s just that she’s being embarrassing. I don’t want her to burden you.”**

**“It’s not a burden.”** He flashes me a bright and sincere smile **“I’m glad she likes me.”**

**“She does. Almost more than she likes Joshua,”** I whisper the last part to prevent Joshua from hearing. God knows how whiny he will get if he knew. **“Here, you know how to unlock my phone.”**

He takes the device from my hand and quickly unlocks it, scrolling through the contact list until he reaches my mom’s number. She answers after the first ring. 

_ ‘She must’ve been really waiting for his call.’  _

Unfortunately for me, I can’t hear a single word of what my mom is saying but I can hear Jihoon saying things like _“Don’t worry, Mrs Kwon.”_ or _“I will take care of him on your behalf.”_ and then laughing with her. 

_ ‘Mom really likes Jihoon. I hope she hasn’t gotten the wrong idea about me and him, though.’  _

After a long series of _“goodbye”_ and _“take care”_ , the phone call ends and we go back to the living room with a tray full of chips, popcorns, boxes of pepero and cans of cola. 

The four of us squeeze ourselves on a sofa made for three people but it’s good like that. We giggle excitedly as the opening credits roll. 

However, not even halfway through the movie, I slowly fall asleep, head gradually landing on Jihoon’s shoulder. 

  
  
  


_**Joshua’s point of view** _

The final credits roll and as I try to soothe a crying Seokmin, I turn around to Jihoon and Soonyoung. They’ve been too quiet but I thought it was because all of us were too much into the movie to actually throw comments here and there. 

When my eyes land on them, however, I find out they were quiet because they were both sleeping. Soonyoung had his head on Jihoon’s shoulder and Jihoon’s head was on top of Soonyoung’s. They look so peaceful and cute like that. 

**“Look at them.”** I tap Seokmin’s shoulder and point at the two sleeping next to me. 

**“Oh my God.”** He shrieks but then throws a hand on his mouth to shut himself. **“Why do they look so cute?”** He then whispers. 

**“I don’t know as well as I don’t know how they can’t seem to notice how much they act like a couple.”** I sigh. 

**“I know, right? It’s as if they are opposites poles and they get pulled towards each other without even realising. They can’t help but stick together.”**

**“They’re too dense to notice but judging from how they act, one of them has already realised his true feelings.”** I get up from the sofa, holding my hand out to help Seokmin getting up too. 

**“You think so?”** Seokmin asks as he looks between the two boys. 

**“Yeah, I know them almost better than I know myself and something shifted in Jihoon’s eyes when he looks at Soonyoung.”**

**“Should we do something about it? Usually, in movies, the friends do their best to help the two dense people getting together.”**

I place a hand on Seokmin shoulder and gently pat him before saying **“It’s better if we let them deal with their own feelings or far more people would get their hearts broken by this.”** I give him a bitter smile. **“Now, let’s wake them up or we will be late.”**

  
  


_**Jihoon’s point of view** _

By the time we reach the noraebang, Wonwoo is already there waiting for us. 

As soon as he spots Soonyoung, he immediately goes next to him, wrapping his arm around his shoulder and pulling him even closer to himself. 

They look at each other for a while before Soonyoung reaches up to give Wonwoo a peck on the cheek and then shyly smile at him. 

My heart tightens at the sight. They look so in love, so happy to be next to each other and so complete. When standing in the same space, they cannot help but be close, to the point one may think they’re trying to englobe each other and literally become one body and one soul. Seeing them like that hurts a lot.

But what hurts even more is my stupid mind which desperately pictures myself next to Soonyoung, making me yearn for his affection, his touch, his kisses, his heart. It makes me want to be the reason behind his sheepish smiles, his rosy cheeks, his heart eyes. It makes me want to have a kind of love which I can never get, at least not from Soonyoung.

I must’ve got lost in my train of thoughts because I almost jump when I see Joshua standing right before me, fixing his scarf over his mouth and nose to keep them warm.

**“What are you doing still there? Are you not coming in?”**

**“Yeah, I’m coming.”**

Like that, I follow Joshua inside, not expecting what was going to happen that night. 

Despite having to deal with Soonyoung and Wonwoo being all lovey-dovey with each other, I enjoyed myself. We spent hours in our room, eating snacks, drinking sodas and pleading the owner not to kick us out when Soonyoung or Seokmin would scream into the echo microphone. 

The singing session had started rather calm with the usual group songs to break the ice, the ones everyone knows and could sing even without the mics. Then we moved to the duets and when our vocal cords were all warmed up, we had started getting hyped with songs like “Fantastic Baby” or “Amor Fati” the ones you mostly jump around, scream and dance to like there’s no tomorrow. 

At a certain point, we started feeling exhausted and our voices and souls were leaving our bodies, that’s why we decided to rest a bit, get hydrated again and then start with the last round. Seokmin proposed to perform some solo songs, or as he said “our signature songs, the ones we’re most confident in singing”. 

So here I am, singing Park Jimin’s Hopeless love. 

It’s not my signature song, but it’s the one I feel like singing right now as I look at Soonyoung who’s sitting in front of me, skin flushed red after having sung and jumped around, the one I feel like singing to someone who makes me feel a hopeless love. 

_**How can you smile so beautifully?** _

_**When I look at you, my time stops** _

_**How am I in this kind of love?** _

_**The words you say, the body movements when you talk** _

_**It knocks on my heart endlessly** _

_**But I am tightly shutting the door** _

That’s exactly what I ask myself every day since I’ve realised my feelings for him. How did I end up in this kind of love? In this love which I have to feel in secret? I cannot show to anyone how his smiles, his gestures, his everything affects me. 

Everything he does keeps on knocking on my heart’s door, reminding me how much I treasure, adore and like him, how much he means to me. 

However, when I look at him and see him with Wonwoo, there’s only one thing I have to do and it’s to shut that door even if the only thing I want to do is to open it and let everything in.

_**In your eyes that look at me,** _

_**there aren’t any feelings that are like mine** _

_**It’s such a sad thing** _

_**to know your heart** _

When we’re standing close enough, when Soonyoung looks directly into my eyes, I can see that the love, which is inside my eyes, doesn’t reflect in his. 

His eyes cannot mirror my feelings because they already mirror Wonwoo’s and it’s so sad to be too aware of how he feels, to know his heart and his love for someone else who’s not me.

_**I know there’s no hope,** _

_**so every time I look at you** _

_**It’s so hard, because I love you so much** _

_**It hurts so much when you say I’m just a friend** _

_**I’m standing outside the line that I can’t ever cross** _

_**It hurts but why can’t I turn away?** _

_**This hopeless love** _

I sing these lines looking at him in the eyes, trying to make him understand that this is what I really feel. 

The pain when he says I’m his best friend but I want to be something more because I like him too much to be just his best friend. But I have to stay here, behind the line he crossed between us, the line which I can’t ever go past. 

I know too well this is a hopeless love but I can’t turn and run away from him. He keeps pulling me towards himself and I let myself being pulled. I feel like Icarus who keeps flying towards the sun who knows but ignores that the closer he goes to the sun, the higher is his risk to fall and die. 

And I know I will be just like Icarus, falling and dying because of how much I love the sun.

The song almost reaches its end, I am about to sing the lines before the last chorus when I start feeling dizzy. 

The grip on the mic loosens and it falls on the ground. 

I stumble towards one of the sofas of the room, a hand placed on the wall to keep my balance. 

A sudden pang at the head, makes me lean with my shoulder on the wall, eyes closing from the pain and hand rubbing at my temples in an attempt to soothe the pain. 

I have almost reached the sofa when everything goes black and I feel the strength leaving my body. 

In a matter of seconds, I collapse on the floor and lose consciousness. 

The song was still playing in the background as I fainted. 

Once again, the song was speaking on my behalf. 

  
  


_**This hopeless love** _

_**Is so painful** _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took almost a month but life has been really busy for the past days but now I'm almost free! That's why I could finish this chapter. I hope you can forgive me for the long wait! T-T
> 
> A lot of things happened in this chapter and Seokmin still can't believe he has to go on a date with Joshua.   
> Poor little Jihoon fainted while singing and who knows what's going to happen now...
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it! Leave comments about what you think will happen next and why Jihoon fainted and how Soonyoung will react. Do you agree with Joshua telling Seokmin not to meddle with them? 
> 
> Thank you for sticking with me and I love you all!!   
> See you as soon as I can! (Hoping it's not going to take another month)
> 
> Ps: This is the song I used for Jihoon's part at the end, if you want to listen to it. [**Hopeless Love**](https://youtu.be/zzC3HXA50cs)  
> 


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't edit this chapter so, if you notice any mistake, I'm sorry for that T-T 
> 
> Enjoy!

**Jihoon’s point of view**

It’s morning and the sunlight seeps from the window lighting the whole room as the curtains are wide open. The sound of the people walking down the neighbourhood streets wakes me up and I slowly open my eyes to let them adjust to the bright light. 

I stare at the ceiling and sigh as I throw an arm on my forehead, recalling what happened last night. 

The lunch at Soonyoung’s, the drumsticks he gifted me with our names carved into them, the way we fell asleep next to each other on the couch, the night at the noraebang. 

My mind replays blurred images from the last part of the night and after that, I can’t seem to remember what happened or how I got home. I focus harder, trying my best to recall a detail that can ignite the fire of that particular memory, I stare at the dancing dust particles in the sun rays as if they can give me the answer, the missing part of that night. I was so into my own world that I jolt when a car’s horn goes off in the streets. 

Instinctively, I bolt up on the bed into a sitting position, turning towards the window to curse the driver who had to honk that hard first thing in the morning. The movement was too fast that now my head spins and pounds and I try to ease the pain by shutting my eyes closed and massaging my temples. 

As I do so, I hear someone groaning and shuffling next to me.

I snap my head towards the noise (wrong move again) and shoot my eyes wide open when I see Soonyoung sleeping. He’s sitting on an armchair, folded arms placed on the bed and his head on top of them. 

Frozen and shocked, I don’t move for a while, waiting for Soonyoung to snore as he falls into deep sleep again. 

While standing still, I finally look around me for the first time since I’ve woken up and I realise that this is not my room. 

The shelf with countless of books; the desk with the worn out copy of _'Pride and Prejudice'_ and the open red box from which a silver pendant peeks out; the wall covered in polaroids and colourful notes with quotes from books, songs or movies. 

_‘Yup, I’m definitely in Soonyoung’s room and on Soonyoung’s bed.’_

With my hand, I caress the soft sheets and the corner of my mouth goes up in half a smile. It feels good to be here but my mind can’t stop bugging me. It asks me why am I here? Why am I in Soonyoung’s room and not in mine? 

As if acting on its own accord, the same hand that was gently brushing the sheets goes towards the sleeping figure to wake him up and get some answers. It was about to shake his shoulder when I regain control over my body and stop. 

He is sleeping so peacefully and looks so ethereal that I don’t have the heart to bring him back to the real world. Maybe he’s dreaming of something beautiful, of being somewhere far away from here with his family and his old friends, with Seokmin and Joshua, of staying in one of those paradises on Earth with Wonwoo, enjoying running on the beach, chasing each other and being chased by the waves crashing on the shore. 

Once again, my body acts before my mind can even send an input to it and I finds my hand buried in Soonyoung’s hair, gently brushing some locks away from the boy’s eyes. 

I can’t help but wonder if there’s a place for me in Soonyoung’s dreams. If Soonyoung has ever dreamt of me as a friend or as something more than a friend, just like I do. It’s been a while since my dreams were filled with Soonyoung: one night we are walking around as we hold hands; the following night he’s holding me in his arms, cuddling the living daylight out of each other; some other time become the main characters of an action movie and then of a romance one; another night we’re just standing on a dancefloor made of galaxies, dancing to the tune of our hearts and souls being in harmony. In almost every dream, there’s just Soonyoung and me, completely and deeply in love. 

However, there are also those nights in which I dream of losing him, of him running away, of him falling and me not being able to hold him, of Soonyoung dying because of my feelings for him which led him into a dangerous situation causing his death. These are the nights I wake up on the verge of tears, wanting to scream but the voice dying in my throat, suffocating me together with my fast heartbeat and making me unable to breathe. These are the nights I give up on sleep because I can’t calm down until I see Soonyoung’s face again. It may sound stupid but these dreams feel so real and vivid that I’m really afraid I’ve lost him and it’s only when I see him smiling at me that I feel like I can properly breathe again. 

I keep on brushing his hair, playing with some rebel strands, as I think of how much of a mess I am. 

Foolishly, I thought that my feelings for Soonyoung would disappear if I ignored them, if I spent time convincing myself that I like him as a friend and that I feel this way around him just because we click so well together. But as time passed by, these feelings only grew stronger and deeper. The way he acts, thinks, smiles and cares for me made me fall over and over again. 

Selfishly, I wanted to make him mine, to have him all for myself, mine to pamper, to cuddle, to love. However, I couldn’t possibly do that. Soonyoung had found someone whom he loves, who makes him feel all fluttery like young love usually does. He can’t stop talking about how much Wonwoo makes him feel special, makes him feel the centre of the universe and makes him feel all giddy. He says his body can’t get used to Wonwoo’s kisses, his scent, his smile and deep voice. Everything about the older deeply affects Soonyoung. 

In the end, I realised that my love for Soonyoung is only slowly turning me into a cruel person doing nothing but hurting people. 

I’m hurting Chanyeol, my boyfriend, because I don’t treat him like I used to do when we first started dating, I don’t want to spend time with him because if I do, I can’t stay by Soonyoung’s side. 

I’m hurting Wonwoo, my best friend, because as I always try to get Soonyoung’s attention, to have him focus on me and not on his boyfriend, I’m depriving him of the trustworthy and loyal friend I once was. 

I’m hurting Soonyoung, the boy I like, because I’m putting in danger two things which are the main reason for his happiness as of the moment: his relationship with Wonwoo and our friendship. 

I’m hurting myself because there’s nothing I can do to change things, to stop people from hurting and, at the same time, have Soonyoung for myself. I’m hurting myself as I keep longing for the very person who makes me feel alive, the person who already has someone to love. 

As I feel my cheeks getting wet, I stop stroking Soonyoung’s hair and quickly wipe the tears who don’t seem to stop falling. Maybe it’s because my heart feels too heavy right now, but all I can do is crying, trying not to make any sound and getting caught by the sleeping boy. 

_‘Will I be able to get over you or is my fate to love you from afar, unable to hold you close to me?’_

  
  


By the time Soonyoung stirs in his sleep and then opens his eyes, I had calmed down and went back to lay on the bed, trying to get comfort from Soonyoung’s smell lingering on the pillow and sheets. 

Still rubbing the sleep away from his eyes, Soonyoung places his hand on my forehead. It was a simple gesture but because of the atmosphere, it felt as something really intimate and my heart skips a couple of beats. 

**“You’re still hot but, thank god, you’re not burning up anymore,”** he says and then proceeds to sigh. 

I get up, sitting on the bed and willing to lighten the sudden heavy mood. **“What do you mean? I’m always hot- Ouch! What was that for?”** I cry out, hand clutching the spot on my chest hit by Soonyoung. 

**“How can you joke when you scared the shit out of me? Do you know how much I panicked? uh?”** Head hanging low, he repeatedly hits me on the chest. When I finally manage to grab him by the wrist and stop him, I notice his tear-wet cheeks. He shoots his head up, his eyes meeting mine, and he starts crying even more.

**“Hey, shhh, don’t cry.”** I let his wrist go only to get closer and hug him. His head lands on my chest, his arms wrap tightly around my middle as he cries. I card my hand through his hair and lull him back and forth as a way to soothe him. **“It’s okay, I’m okay.”**

My method seems to work as Soonyoung breaks the hug and hurriedly wipes his tears with the back of his hands. **“I’m sorry.”** He sniffles. **“It’s just that my mind replayed the moment you fainted and I couldn’t stop the tears.”**

**“Fainted?”**

**“You don’t remember?”**

**“No,”** I admit. **“The last thing I remember is that we went to the noraebang.”**

**“Well, you were singing when you suddenly fainted. We all jumped from our seats and tried to wake you up but you didn’t move at all. We didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know what to do.”** Soonyoung looks up, trying so hard not to cry again. **“I took your hand and you were burning up. I told Joshua. He checked your pulse and said you were probably running a fever and that your temperature went up so high it had you fainting. Wonwoo pulled you up and Joshua piggy-backed you to his car. We wanted to bring you to your house but Wonwoo thought your parents could get too scared if they saw you fainted in the middle of the night, that’s why we brought you here. I sent a text to your mom saying your phone died and you were going to sleep at my house. Joshua and Wonwoo helped me laying you on the bed, they wanted to stay here, taking turns to check on you during the night but I sent them away, saying I could do it alone.”** His voice breaks and a tear streams down his face. **“I checked your temperature and Joshua was right, you had a high fever, so I used some wet towel to lower it and halfway through the night you looked less pale and you were definitely less hot.”**

Without thinking, I reach out for his face to wipe his tears with my thumb. **“I’m so sorry.”**

**“Gosh, Jihoon, you can’t even imagine how scared I was when I saw you falling on the ground. The moment your body touched the floor, I felt all the air getting knocked out of my lungs.”**

**“I know, people say that a lot. That I leave them breathless, I mean.”** I joke again and Soonyoung gives me a death glare. Before he could hit me again, I say, **“Please don’t punch me. I’m only trying to make you smile. I can’t stand seeing you crying.”**

He hits me again but this time he is smiling. **“You’re an idiot.”**

**“I’ll take that.”** I smile back as I place my other hand on his, still holding mine. **“Just so you know, sadness doesn’t suit you, Soonyoung. So, please, don’t cry again.”**

**“And you don’t faint on me again if you don’t want to see me being sad.”**

**“I promise I will take care of myself so you won’t have to see me again like this ever again.”**

**“If you break this promise-”**

**“I won’t,”** I say, interrupting him mid-sentence. **“Now, can we get some breakfast? I’m starving.”**

**“You’re not getting out of this bed, Lee Jihoon.”** Soonyoung stops me before I could even try pulling the blankets off. **“I’ll go making food for the both of us while you’ll call your parents and tell them what happened, okay?”** He says as he leaves the room.

**“Okay, mom.”** I roll my eyes with a small smile tugging at my lips. 

  
  
  
Some time and a lot of alarming noises coming from downstairs later, Soonyoung is back with a tray with an amount of food that could feed all of _‘Jeonghan’s bitches’_. 

**“I know what you’re going to say, but you need to eat a lot or else you won’t recover,”** Soonyoung says as he carefully sits on the bed, right in front of me, and placing the tray on his thighs.

**“Yeah, but this is just too much for two people.”**

**“You say that now, but I bet you won’t leave even the smallest grain of rice.”** He hands me a bowl before moving the tray in the gap between our legs so that I could comfortably reach for the side dishes laid out on it. **“Did you call your mom?”**

**“Yes, she said to give her a call as soon as we finish eating breakfast.”**

**“Good boy.”** He ruffles my hair while smiling and my heart skips the nth beat. **“Now, you can eat.”**

I scoff. **“What am I? A dog?”**

**“Nope, you’re a child who apparently needs extra care or else he will faint.”**

**“Fair enough.”**

We both laugh and start eating.

As Soonyoung said, we end up finishing all the food on the tray in between a lively debate over which anime we should start next and a facetime call with his mother who almost cried just like her son upon hearing what happened to me last night. Once the food was all gone, I try one more time to get out of the bed to help Soonyoung washing the dishes or at least bringing the tray downstairs but he refuses. He tells me to stay in bed and call my mother to come and pick me up. I do as told and five minutes later my mom’s at the door, endlessly thanking Soonyoung for taking care of her dumb son who can’t take care of himself. 

Ten minutes later, I’m in my bed, tucked under two huge blankets, waiting for the doctor to come and visit me. 

In the meantime, I grab my phone and decide to send a text into the ‘Jeonghan’s bitches’ group chat. 

**Woozy:**   
_Yo._

**Kwannie:**   
_Jihoon! You’re alive!_

**Pupgyu:**   
_Wonwoo told us everything. Are you okay?_

**Woozy:**   
_I’ve seen better days._

**DadCheol:**   
_Did you take some medicine?_

**Woozy:**   
_Not yet._   
_I need the doctor to visit me first._

**DadCheol:**   
_Still hasn’t come?_

**Woozy:**   
_Yup because I was at Soons’ until fifteen minutes ago._

**Pupgyu:**   
_Right, you stayed at his place for the night._

**Joshuji:**   
_Did he cry today too?_   
_Yesterday, he couldn’t stop crying and holding your hand._

**Woozy:**   
_Knowing him, do you think he didn’t?_

**Joshuji:**  
 _No._  
 _He totally cried._   


**Woozy:**   
_Correct._

**Kwannie:**  
 _Can you blame him?_  
 _Imagine seeing your best friend fainting right in front of you._

**Pupgyu:**   
_I would have probably fainted too._

**Nonu:**   
_So we got lucky you weren’t with us or it would’ve been two people to carry around._

**Joshuji:**   
_Or we would’ve left Mingyu on the floor._

**Pupgyu:**   
_You’re so mean, hyung._

**Woozy:**   
_If you weren’t that tall, maybe he wouldn’t consider that._

**Pupgyu:**   
_Not my fault you’re a shortie and easier to carry._

**Woozy:  
** _Just you wait until I get better, Mingyu hyung._

**Kwannie:  
** _ Jihoon said  _ ‘hyung’ _.   
Mingyu, you’re in trouble. _

**DadCheol:**  
 _Mingyu just went to his room to grab a sheet of paper and a pen to write his will._  
 _Good job, Jihoon._

**Woozy:**  
 _Thanks, hyung._  
 _By the way, where’s Jeonghan?_

**Joshuji:**   
_He said he doesn’t want to talk to you._

**Woozy:**   
_Is he angry?_

**DadCheol:**   
_A lot._   
_I had to stop him from coming to Soonyoung’s house._   
_He wanted to punch you._

**Woozy:**   
_Tell him Soons already did that._

**1004Han:**  
 _I’m so proud of him._  
 _For hitting you, of course._

**Woozy:**   
_I bet you are._

**1004Han:**   
_Next time, and I hope for you there’s no next time, Seungcheol won’t be enough to stop me._

**DadCheol:**   
_He means it._

**Woozy:**   
_I already promised Soonyoung to take better care of myself so you don’t need to worry._

**1004Han:**   
_Good son._

**Pupgyu:**   
_I would’ve paid to see Jeonghan punching Jihoon, though._

**Woozy:**   
_Keep on writing your will, Mingyu hyung._   
_The clock is ticking for you._

With that message and a smile on my face, I lock my phone and take a good rest before the doctor comes. 

  
  
  
  
  


Mr Hwang moves his stethoscope up and down, left and right on my chest and on my back, telling me when to breathe in, breathe out and cough. He takes a stick to hold my tongue down as he looks at my tonsil. He puts a thermometer under my armpit to check my body temperature. While we wait for the device do beep, he studies my face, gaze clearly lingering on my dark circles. 

**“He still has a fever,”** Mr Hwang says once he read the numbers on the thermometer **“but he doesn’t need any medicine.”**

**“How come?”** My mother asks. 

**“Because it’s a fever caused by the extreme stress and fatigue he experienced in the past days. You can tell from the bags under his eyes that he hasn’t had an ounce of sleep.”** They both look at me and I duck my head. **“His body and mind need rest so a few days in the bed is the only cure to his sickness, plus some vitamin supplements.”** Mr Hwang turns to look at me. **“The fever should be gone in two-three days as long as you rest and stop getting stressed.”**

**“That’s a lot to ask.”**

**“What’s stressing you, Jihoon-ah?”** My mom sits on the bed and pats my head like she used to do when I was little. 

**“N-nothing to worry about. You know, adjusting to the new school is still stressing me.”** I lie but I can’t bring myself to tell her the truth. 

**“I advise you to spend time with someone you’re close to, someone who makes it easier to feel less stressed.”** Mr Hwang comes closer, lowering until we’re face to face. **“Do you have a lover?”** He whispers, thinking my mother wouldn’t hear that. 

**“Yes, I do.”**

**“Then you know who to spend time with.”** He smiles and ruffles my hair, taking his leave after repeating once again to my mother that it’s nothing to worry about and that I should just rest more. 

Left alone in my room, I think about the doctor’s words. 

I should stay away from my source of stress and we all know that it is none other than Soonyoung. He’s been the reason why I can’t sleep at night, I overwork myself and the reason why I keep feeling tense. 

I should keep closer the ones who make me happy. My lover. At this time, Chanyeol’s face should pop up in my mind, his features but I can only see a pair of slanted eyes, chubby cheeks and his smile, so beautiful that it cannot be put into words. Despite everything, Soonyoung is the one with whom I’m the happiest, the one with whom I forget about the rest of the world. 

When we’re together, it’s like only me and him exist. 

As if he could read my mind, Soonyoung texts me. 

**Hoshiya:**  
 _Jihoonieeeee._  
 _How are you feeling?_

**Woozy:**  
 _You saw me two hours ago._  
 _You know how I’m feeling_. 

**Hoshiya:**   
_No, I don’t._   
_You could feel better...or worse._

**Woozy:**   
_*sigh* I’m good._

**Hoshiya:**   
_What did the doctor say?_

**Woozy:**  
 _It’s fever due to fatigue._  
 _I should rest for a couple of days and take vitamins from now on._

**Hoshiya:**   
_I told you that you should stop pulling all-nighters and get some proper sleep!_

**Woozy:**   
_If I could do that, I would._

**Hoshiya:**   
_Well, now you have to._   
_The doctor said so._

**Woozy:**   
_I know._

**Hoshiya:**  
 _Good._  
 _By the way, your mom called me a while ago and told me that tomorrow I should come by for lunch._

**Woozy:**   
_How come?_

**Hoshiya:**   
_She wants to thank me for taking care of you last night._

**Woozy:**   
_Of course, she did._

**Hoshiya:**   
_Just so you know, even if she wouldn’t have invited me for lunch, I would’ve come the same in the afternoon to keep you company._

**Woozy:**   
_You don’t have to, you know?_

**Hoshiya:**  
 _I know but I want to._  
 _I won’t leave you alone just like you didn’t want to leave me alone._

**Woozy:**  
 _Are you sure this is Soonyoung?_  
 _That was too cheesy even for you._

**Hoshiya:**   
_Knob._   
_Always ready to ruin a good moment._

**Woozy:**   
_Oh, we were having a moment?_

**Hoshiya:**   
_Stop it._

**Woozy:**   
_Hahahaha okay, I will stop._

**Hoshiya:**   
_Good._   
_I’ll let you rest, now._   
_Talk to you later!_

**Woozy:**   
_Later._

  
  


When I lock my phone and put it on the bedside table, I lay down and pull up my blankets over my head. I rub my hands on my face and groan as I get again on the train of thoughts I was having before Soonyoung texted me.

If all of my tears are shed for him, why all of my smiles are for him, too? 

If he is my sadness, why is he my happiness?

If our love is destined to be a tragedy, why is he my remedy?

  
  
  
  
  


**Soonyoung’s point of view**

The time to go to Jihoon’s house for lunch comes faster than expected. I had planned to cook something for them so I wouldn’t have come empty-handed but it’s almost midday and I can’t do anything if not stopping at _‘Coffee & Goodpie’_ before rushing to the Lee’s household. 

Wonwoo was the reason things didn’t go as planned. He had called me this morning, asking me to go on a morning date with him now that we can since school is closed. 

I couldn’t say no to him so I grabbed my things and went out to meet him at the mall where we drank something at the _‘Vinyl Art’_ and then walked around the different shops, not really wanting to buy anything in particular. We talked about this and that, he asked me about my parents, if Joshua was really keeping me company or just thinking about his date with Seokmin, how Jihoon is feeling. 

**“I called him this morning and he sounded a lot better than he did yesterday,”** I said, carefully of where to step because of the crowd. **“Guess he rested as the doctor and I told him to do.”**

**“So sleep was the main issue of his sickness?”**

**“Yup, he had been awake until late for so many nights and his body couldn’t take it anymore.”** I grabbed Wonwoo by his sweater and pulled him towards me, preventing him from bumping into an old lady. 

**“What else the doctor said?”**

**“That the fever is going away by itself in a couple of days as long as he stops stressing himself. He should do things that relax him, including spending time with people he’s close to. I guess that’s why Mrs Lee told me to come by today. It’s not only because she wants to thank me but also because, that way, Jihoon won’t be alone.”**

Wonwoo stiffened at the news because I hadn’t told him yet. **“Do you think so?”**

I hummed. **“You know Jihoon better than I do. Do you think he would’ve asked any of us to come and hang around his house so he would feel less stressed? Lee Jihoon?”**

**“No, he would say that it’s a waste of time to stay with him since he’s okay and doesn’t need to be babysitted by his friends.”**

**“Exactly.”**

**“But why his mother asked you and not us?”**

**“I think it’s because, together with Joshua, I live near so it’s easier for me to get there. She doesn’t want to disturb you.”**

**“I see.”** His face fell and his expression darkened. 

**“Don’t make that face. It’s not like I will stay there forever.”**

**“You’re right, I’m sorry.”**

After that, neither of us talked about Jihoon again and, since I was getting late, parted ways as soon as we got out of the mall with the promise of texting each other and probably meeting the day after. 

  
  


Without even knowing how I did, I’m only five minutes late when I ring at their door. Mrs Lee swings the door open and welcomes me with a wide, warm smile. 

_ ‘I see from whom Jihoon’s pretty smile takes after.’  _

**“Come in, son. It’s too cold outside.”** She moves aside to let me in and I hurry inside. **“You can give me your coat and go inside the living room, Jihoon is glued to the heater in there.”**

**“Thank you.”** But before taking off my long coat, I hand her the box from the café. **“Mrs Lee, this is for you.”**

**“What is it?”** She places the box on a nearby piece of furniture and carefully opens it. 

**“Just some muffins.”** I hang the coat on the hanger and walk closer to her. **“These are Jihoon’s favourite.”** I point at the two big, chocolaty ones. 

**“You’re such a caring boy, Soonyoung.”** She pinches my cheek. **“Go to the living room. Someone has been waiting for you since he woke up even though he’s not willing to admit it.”**

Mrs Lee winks and walks away to put the muffins in the kitchen so we can eat them later. I do as she said and head for the biggest room, where I see a little silhouette sitting on the floor and almost hugging the heater. 

**“Jihoonie,”** I call him and when he turns around he doesn’t look as dead as he did the other day. He’s wearing fluffy navy pyjamas and a blanket covers his shoulder, reaching and keeping warm all the zones of his body not exposed to the heather. He looks so small and cute, just like a child. 

**“Soonyoung, you’re already here?”** He tries to look nonchalant but the corner of his mouth betrayed his tone as it went up on its own accord. 

**“Aren’t you happy and excited? Your favourite person is here to spend the day with you!”** I ask him as I, too, sit on the floor. 

**“Who said you’re my favourite person?”** He moves a little so that we can share the warmth coming from the heather. **“And I’m not happy or excited.”**

**“That’s a lie.”** I scoot over and throw my arm around his shoulders. **“A little bird told me that you’ve been waiting for me.”**

**“Since when you talk to birds? Who are you? Snow White?”** He scoffs. 

**“If I’m Snow White, then you’re one of the seven dwarfs. Grumpy, of course.”**

**“At least I’m not dumb and eat poisonous apples given by strangers.”** He pokes my cheeks after every word leaving his mouth. He may have dug a hole in my flesh for how much strength he was putting into his finger.

**“Stop! You’re hurting me!”** I snap my head and try to bite his finger but he’s faster than me and moves his hand away. **“But I’m glad that you’re so energetic today. It makes me happy seeing you like this”** I ruffle his hair and smile. 

**“Don’t do that. I’m not a kid,”** He complains while fixing his hair but he can’t hide the blush creeping on his cheeks, which only makes my grin grow wider.

We chat a little bit longer in the room while waiting for Jihoon’s mom to call us for lunch and when she does, we rush to the table as we feel super-hungry. 

Done with the food, she bans us from the kitchen, telling us to go upstairs so that Jihoon can lay in his bed. The shorter whines, trying to convince her that he doesn’t need to stay in bed the whole day but eventually complies when he sees how his efforts were useless. 

**“What do you want to do?”** Jihoon asks me once I’ve helped him into his bed and tucked him in. 

“ **Want to take a nap?”**

**“I can’t sleep and let you stay awake.”**

**“Who said you were the only one taking a nap? This bed is big enough for the two of us. Scoot over so I can lay down too.”** I sit on his bed and repeatedly clap my hands to make him be faster. Once there’s enough space for me, I lay down on my left side so that I can face Jihoon who is looking at the ceiling. 

**“Do you really want to sleep?”**

**“Yup, I’m actually so tired that a power nap is what I need right now.”** I yawn and close my eyes. **“The first one to fall asleep will get a chocolate muffin as a reward.”**

**“Consider me already in deep sleep.”**

It doesn’t take a lot of time for Jihoon to actually fall asleep. I open my eyes and watch over him as his chest slowly rises and falls, as his lips part. 

A grin blooms on my face because of how calm and cute he looks while sleeping and I can’t help but card my hand through his hair to push some strands of hair out of his face and because I want to, because it feels somewhat relaxing. 

At first, I didn’t really plan to fall asleep. I only said that so he could get some rest like the doctor said but the more my hand brushes his hair, the more I feel calmness takes over me, detaching me from reality and letting me slip into the dreamland. 

Later in the afternoon, Mrs Lee comes to Jihoon’s room to wake us up. She thought we might be hungry so she had brought us the _‘Coffee & Goodpie’_ muffins together with some warm milk. I give Jihoon his well-deserved prize for falling asleep and his eyes light up at the sight of his favourite sweet. We sit at his desk to eat so we don’t leave crumbs on his bed and then lazily spend the rest of the day. We watch some funny videos on his bed, catch up with some new anime, checking our SNS and face-timing Joshua. 

Time flew so fast and it’s already night. I told myself I should leave before dinner so that Jihoon could still spend some time with his family. 

**“I’ll text you later and I’ll see you tomorrow,”** I tell Jihoon as I grab my things from where I left them on his desk. Phone, wallet and keys. 

**“Mmh...see you.”**

When I reach his room’s door, I turn around one more time to look at him and notice that his eyes had saddened. It’s as if he doesn’t want me to leave but doesn’t dare to say so. He’s too proud for that. 

Mrs Lee, on the other hand, tries everything she can so that I can’t stay over the night or at least for dinner. Since Jihoon had planned to camp at my house for these holidays, his mother knew my parents weren’t here and that’s what made her determined to make me stay in their house. Like Jihoon earlier today, I couldn’t win against her but I found a compromise. 

Mrs Lee lets me go home tonight as long as from tomorrow until Jihoon gets better, I’ll stay at their house. That way I can help with Jihoon’s recover and have some company myself. 

She also makes me promise not to tell Jihoon so that we can surprise him. 

Jihoon was indeed surprised when the next day I barged into his room with a duffle bag and the news of spending the next few days with him. At first, he wanted to come off as annoyed because I would be invading his private space for longer than it needed to be invaded. However, this façade lasts for the first ten minutes, just the time for me to place my belongings and clothes around his room and change into my pyjamas. 

After that, we spent the next two days taking naps; playing with the Nintendo Switch I brought over; rewatching Jihoon's favourite Marvel movies. At some point, I had found myself working with him on a new song for the band, giving reviews and opinions about the base and the lyrics. 

On the second day, while Jihoon and I were busy doing nothing, Joshua and Seokmin came by to check on Jihoon. They were so relieved to hear that he was okay and that his fever was finally gone. 

Mrs Lee told his son to stay in bed for another day and then he was free to go wherever he wanted to. Upon hearing her words, we immediately planned to meet tomorrow at my house with the rest of the boys too. This way, we could be together and at the same time, Jihoon could rest some more. 

After that, we chatted about our group of friends. I asked if there were any news since we hadn't checked our phones at all. 

Apparently, Seungkwan got asked out on a date by Hansol, the guy he had been crushing on for a year. I joked about how he isn't the only one having a date and the two guests shyly looked at each other and blushed. Yup, they are so whipped for each other. 

When they leave after dinner, Jihoon and I go upstairs to brush our teeth and then go straight to bed. We don’t sleep right away, we turn back to back on the bed and take our phones for the first time that day to check the loads of messages we respectively got from Wonwoo and Chanyeol. They were worried since we had ghosted them and thought something bad had happened to Jihoon. We took our time to calm them down, telling them we were just resting and then Joshua and Seokmin came by so we didn’t have time to stay on our phones. 

I don’t know about Chanyeol, but I know that Wonwoo is not only worried about that. More than once he has expressed his fear of losing me to Jihoon since I spend so much time with him. Thinking about it, I do spend a lot of time with my best friend but this doesn’t mean that I’m going to leave him. I kept telling this to Wonwoo, how I’m going stay by his side for as long as he wants me to stay but he seems to get better just for a little while. The way he glares at Jihoon, the way he looks at us when we joke about something, saddens me and scares me. 

Without noticing it, I let a sigh escape from my mouth when I lock my phone and put it on the bedside table next to me, turning around to face the ceiling. 

**“Something’s wrong?”** Jihoon asks, him too putting his phone away and turning around to look at me. 

**“Nothing, don’t worry.”**

**“You're sure? You know you can’t tell me everything.”** He places his hand over mine and gives me an encouraging smile. 

The both of us are surrounded by the darkness, the weak light coming from the lamppost on the streets is not enough to light the whole room but it’s enough to make me able to see the way Jihoon is looking at me, to see his lips curved upwards and his deep dimples framing his mouth. 

I sigh again. **“I’m scared.”**

**“Of what?”**

**“I’m scared of losing Wonwoo.”** I feel a lump in my throat but I fight back the urge to cry. Jihoon has already seen me crying too many times. 

**“Why?”**

**“You know, back then I had a special person whom I treasured a lot,”** I start as I play with Jihoon’s fingers so that I could stop myself from shedding more tears for that person. **“She was like an angel sent from Heaven to save me from the darkest moment of my life. We really hit it off and spent all our time together. She made me feel like the most important person of her life, she made me feel loved, the centre of her universe. We loved each other even though we never got to confess. I still vividly remember the day she crushed my heart.”** I stop to take a deep breath and try to push down the lump in my throat. **“We met up at the same spot we met for the first time. I was ready to wear my heart on my sleeve and tell her I love her but, apparently, listening to me wasn’t her intention when she came there. Before I could even say a word, she told me she was sorry, she liked me but we should’ve stopped being friends and never meeting again.”** I stopped breathing as the pain of that memory still hurt like that time and Jihoon is quick to push a hand in my hair to soothe me. **“I was so confused at that moment. How could someone like you but tell you to stop seeing each other? I later found out it was because she had found someone else, someone who was probably better than I was. In the end, I was the only one who fell in love and the only one who broke down in pieces. It took me a lot of time to mend those wounds and some of them still bleed when I touch them.”**

Jihoon hugs me, let me burying my head in his chest and holding me tight. **“I’m sorry for what happened.”**

**“Why? You’re not the one who did that.”** My voice is muffled by his clothes. **“But, yeah. That’s why I’m scared. Sometimes, the way Wonwoo treats me reminds me of her. He makes me feel so special, he brings me up so high. It feels good to be on that cloud nine but I’m afraid it will end up as it ended with her. He will find someone who treats him better than I do, who loves him more than I do and push me off from that cloud.”** I tighten my grip around Jihoon’s waist at the thought. **“Jihoon, if he does that, I’m pretty sure, this time, I won’t survive the fall. The wounds already healed will bleed even more than before and I can’t take it.”**

**“Soonyoung, look at me.”** He places his hand under my chin and lifts my head so that our eyes can meet. **“It won’t happen but if it does, you will survive. You will stand up and heal again because you’re a strong one. You’re hard to take down. Plus, you’re not alone. You have Joshua and Seokmin.”** He takes a pause. He wets his lips and I notice that his pupils are slightly shaking, as if he is nervous to speak the next words. **“You have me. I will stand by you through the pain, the toughest times. I will be the shoulder you can cry on and the hand to hold when you feel sad. I will not leave you alone, you can always count on me.”**

Those words, the sincerity in his eyes and the intimate mood that had settled around us bring me into tears. Never before I felt this way, so sure that he meant every word he said. **“Thank you, Jihoon,”** I said in between a sob and another and I mean it. I’m so grateful that a beautiful person like him has walked in my life and I hope he has to never walk away from it. 

**“What about you? Any past experience that hurt you?”** I ask him once I calm down, breaking our hug but still laying close to him.

**“Not as deep as yours but I’m experiencing something now that may hurt someone else.”** He doesn’t look at me while answering. **“I don’t know what to do.”**

**“What do you mean? In what way it may hurt Chanyeol?”**

**“I think I don’t love him anymore.”** And he dropped the bomb. 

**“Uh?”** To say that I’m shocked is an understatement. **“Wait, why? How? When did you find out?”** I fire away almost all the questions popping in my head. 

**“It’s been a while now but I can’t explain to you the reason why. I simply found out I don’t feel the way I used to do when we were first together. I stay with him because I keep telling myself it’s a phase, that maybe I’m so caught up in other things that I think my feelings for him have gone numb but I’m not that sure anymore.”** Jihoon’s eyes lost focus as he stares at a point of the room behind me. **“I’m not sure if it really is a phase or a permanent thing.”**

**“Must have been hard for you, to keep all of this to yourself, to figure out what to do.”** I put my hand on his arm and rub circles on it, thinking of some words that may comfort or help him but my mind is blank. 

**“It is but I came to the conclusion that I should give myself more time. Time with and without Chanyeol to clear my mind about my feelings for him.”** He finally looks at me and gives me a weak smile. 

**“You know, Jihoon, I admire you. You tell me I’m strong but between you and me, you are the strong one. However, from now on, please tell me when you’re struggling with something, okay?”**

**“I will, don’t worry.”** He pinches my cheek and finally smiles for real. **“Now, let’s go to sleep. I’m exhausted.”**

**“Yeah, me too.”** I yawn. **“Good night, Jihoonie.”**

**“Good night, Soons.”**

  
  
  
  
  


**Jihoon’s point of view**

Soonyoung is sleeping soundly next to me, the pain of his memories has knocked him out and maybe it’s a relief because, at least in his dreams, he can’t suffer anymore. 

But why I did tell him about Chanyeol? I couldn’t even tell him the whole truth, not after I promised him to stay by his side if something bad happens. 

Lying to him makes me feel so bad because I want to be nothing but honest to him and maybe that’s why, when I’m sure he’s deep in sleep, I look at him and impulsively whisper, **“I’m sorry if I wasn’t completely honest with you. I don’t like Chanyeol anymore because I have someone else to whom I want to give my heart, whom I want to take care of.”** I stay silent for a while, afraid to say out loud what I’m thinking because I know that once those words will slip out of my mouth, they will be real and there’s no turning back. 

**“That someone else is you. You are the person I love, Soonyoung, but you can never know that.”**

And after these words have been said, I fall asleep with a heart that’s weirdly lighter and heavier at the same time. 

_ ‘I love you but I can’t ever let you know.’ _

  
  
  
  
  


**Soonyoung’s point of view **

  
  


It’s already the day after and we meet the other boys at my house as we planned to. 

Yesterday, when Joshua wrote in the group chat that we could gather at my house (I asked the permission to my mother first), they didn’t waste any time and flooded the chat with infinite messages about what to do. 

In the end, Wonwoo’s idea won and we all agreed upon watching movies for the whole night and eating takeaway food for dinner. Knowing some of us would end up falling asleep, I told them to bring some sleeping bags. I had three sofas and three futons so the rest had to help themselves if they didn’t want to sleep directly on the floor. 

So here we are, it’s around seven in the evening and we’re all gathered in my living room, being loud and making a mess about which movie to watch first and what to eat. 

**“What about we watch the Grinch?”** Mingyu asks while scribbling down Seungcheol’s order. 

**“Why would I want to see Jihoon on the screen too? Watching him being grumpy about Christmas in real life is enough for me,”** Seungkwan says, staying as further away as possible from the said boy. He knows that being a hyung won’t save him from Jihoon’s beating but he can’t keep his mouth shut. **“Can you add a bowl of jjampong for me?”**

**“Okay, does someone else want to add more to the order? If not, Joshua hyung is going to call the Chinese restaurant and place our order.”** Seungcheol looks around to scan our faces. 

**“If in the list there’s tangsuyuk, then we don’t need anything else,”** Jeonghan says. 

**“I’ll call the restaurant then,”** Joshua gets up from the sofa and takes the list from Mingyu’s hand. **“When I come back, I want to hear that you came to an agreement for the movie.”**

**“Yes, sir!”**

Joshua goes upstairs to make the call, knowing he wouldn’t be able to hear a thing from the restaurant’s owner if he remained downstairs. In fact, the moment he left the room, everyone resumed shouting and debating over the movies. Luckily, by the time he comes by, Wonwoo is already putting _‘Love Actually’_ in the DVD player, pausing it so that we can wait for the food to come. 

In the meantime, we play the ladder game to see who will take which ‘bed’ so that after eating, we can already take our position so that even if we fell asleep, everyone would already be in their right place. The results of the ladder game were quite good and no one really complained about it. Seungcheol, Jeonghan and Mingyu will take the sofas; Wonwoo, Jihoon and I will be in the futons while the ones taking the sleeping bags are Seungkwan, Joshua and Seokmin. 

After that, pretty much everyone did their things and rushed back to the sofa the moment they heard the doorbell ring. Seungkwan and I go to the door to pick the order and give an extra tip to the poor deliveryman who had to bring food for an army all by himself. 

We hand the various plates and boxes to everyone and Seokmin goes in the kitchen to take the drinks. When everyone is ready and on the sofas, Wonwoo hits the play button and the opening titles roll on the tv screen. 

During the movie anyone barely talks as we are all shoving food in our mouths and focused on what was happening to the different couples of the story, we throw some comments here and there when we really couldn’t help but share the thought crossing our mind at that moment. Done with _‘Love Actually’_ , we moved to a classic Christmas movie which is _‘Home Alone’_. Everyone has already watched it but it always brings laughter, just like the first time. By the end of this movie, everyone had already taken their position but still wanted to watch more movies. 

We had played a total of four films and it was around two in the morning when some of us were leaving us to run into Morpheus’s arms. 

I’m talking about everyone but Jihoon, Wonwoo, Seungkwan and me. 

We didn’t feel like going to sleep yet, so we decided to watch one last movie before going to sleep. Seungkwan gets up from his sleeping bag and pushes in the DVD. This time, we opted for _‘Serendipity’_ , a classic when it comes about romantic stories. I don’t know how many times I sniffled in the scenes where the main couple thought they weren’t destined to be together and Wonwoo had to cuddle me so that I wouldn’t end up crying out loud and waking up the others. 

When the final credits rolls, I turn around and see that Seungkwan had fallen asleep and that Jihoon is struggling to keep his eyes open. 

**“I think it’s time for us to go to sleep.”** I look at the clock on the wall and see that it’s slightly past four in the morning. 

**“Can you pass me the remote control?”** Wonwoo asks. 

I do as told and he turns off the tv. The room falls into darkness and it takes quite a while for my eyes to adjust and see where my pillow is. Once I retrieve it, I lay down and wish the two boys good night. 

In no time, silence reigns in the living room. However, be it because it’s past my bedtime or because I’m too excited about having everyone here, I can’t seem to fall asleep. I toss and turn but my eyes don’t feel heavy at all. 

It’s past six o’clock and the sky is turning in a pretty shade of serenity when I roll on my side and see that Jihoon’s shaking probably because it’s too cold for him. 

_‘Could it be that his fever has gone up again? He needs more warmth.’_

I slowly sit down and was about to get up to go upstairs and take another blanket for him when I realise I can’t move. The futons are right in the middle of the room. Behind me, there’s a barrier made of sofas and the front is blocked by the sleeping bags. 

Knowing how clumsy I am, if I even try to move past one of them, I’ll end up stepping on them or kicking them in the face, so it’s better if I stay put. 

_‘But Jihoon may be freezing...what do I do?’_

While looking left and right, in search of a solution to the problem, I have an idea. 

I move my pillow next to his and grab the blanket from my futon to put it half on him and a half on me. Careful not to wake him up, I slip my arm around him, spooning him so that I can warm him up. I even put my feet next to his since they were basically frozen. 

_‘How can he sleep while being this cold?’_ I sigh as I rub circles on his arm _‘I really hope it’s a temporary thing and he’s not sick.’_

Without even thinking about it, I place my head on top of his and hold him tighter. My strategy seems to work since he soon stops shaking and I can relax too. 

Crisis being averted, my body finally feels the tiredness of the day and my eyes close on their own will.

With Jihoon cuddled in my arms, my mind goes to the time we quarrelled when we first met, the time we started getting along, the time we became inseparable without even realising it. 

Thinking about all of the moments spent together, all the memories that I and the little boy in my arms have made, makes me feel warm all over, makes me feel something I can quite pinpoint but that I can roughly associate to the feeling of being home. 

Maybe Jihoon is my home after all. 

It’s just that, at the time, I didn’t really know that this word had a deeper meaning than I thought it would have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was, in some ways, challenging to write but I liked it a lot because there are finally so many Soonhoon moments and they're so domestic (even if angst is always present). 
> 
> Seems like Soonyoung is realising something too, don't you think that? What is going to happen now? The only thing I can tell you is that I'm scared myself of what's going to be Wonwoo's reaction to them sleeping next to each other.
> 
> Next update is going to be either at the end of the month or at the start of the next one as I'm going on a trip for a week and a half. Some time to heal and, who knows, maybe get some inspiration for a future chapter. 
> 
> As always, let me know what you think and your ideas by leaving comments! I love seeing your reaction!   
> Thank you so much for everything <3


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 19k words. A record for me. 
> 
> Warning: For plot purposes, in this chapter, there are underage drinking and a bit of spice. I apologise in advance if you're not comfortable with this. 
> 
> Ps: I wanted to share with you two of the songs which inspired some of the main parts of this chapter in case you want to get in the mood.  
> 1) [**Sam Smith - Not In That Way**](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLkWlO5n46k)  
>  for the second 'Jihoon's point of view' (aka after Joshua's point of view)  
> 2) [**Simon Curtis - Flesh**](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEfKooMunLI)  
>  recommended by my Tei for the last part of the last 'Soonyoung's point of view' (y'all will know when to play it).

That night, I had a weird dream. 

_I was standing on a beach, feet sinking in the white sand as the cold water crashed in waves on my ankles. It felt like a quick caress on my skin before running back to the sea they belonged to._

_The sun lingered at the horizon, not setting nor rising, just peeking from the point where sky and sea meet. Looking from that point upwards, you could see the sky coloured with pastel shades of orange, then pink and purple to end in an ocean blue, colours which are reflected in that vast body of water._

_It was mesmerising._

_I felt like I could stay there for hours, admiring that splendid view and basking in that sense of peacefulness radiating from it, and I did._

_Despite the time flowing rather slowly or quickly, the sun didn’t move an inch from its place._

_That reminds me of that time when standing on a beach for the first time as a teen while watching the sun setting, I thought it was a romantic, yet sad, sight._

_It felt as if the sun didn’t want to leave just yet, as if it wanted to kiss the sea for a while longer after having looked forward to this moment the whole day. It felt as if they were allowing us, humans, to witness their love which manifests itself in the form of a spectacular sunset. However, no matter how beautiful, romantic and pure their love can be, it comes a time when they have to part to give space the dark night and the bright moon._

_And even I, in this very place, came to experience for the first time in my life, how painful and scary it is to part ways with someone when all you want to do is to be by their side or simply have them in your life._

_I am still standing on the beach when I hear someone calling my name. His voice carried by the light blow of the wind, feeling like a melody to my ears, it is a voice I can tell apart from hundreds, no, thousands of other sounds because it is my favourite one._

_The moment I snap my head to the side, I see him in all of his beauty._

_I see Jihoon._

_He is standing on the other end of the shore, his feet too bathed in the seawater and his body turned towards me. He waves at me and flashes what I think it’s his sweetest dimpled smile._

_Seeing him being so far away from me, makes my body act on its own and so I find myself sprinting towards Jihoon, wanting to reach him and enclose him in my arms._

_I run as fast as I can, not caring about the burning sensation in my thighs and lungs, the thought of getting to Jihoon being the fuel for my whole body._

_However, the more I run forwards, the more Jihoon gets farther away from me. I don’t know for how long I run because he is still out of reach and the sun is still lingering at the horizon._

_After what it feels like a lifetime and for some sort of miracle, I am finally close to him._

_I reach out for him with my hand, waiting for Jihoon to grab it but the moment he tries, the sun suddenly sets and we fall in what feels the darkest of nights._

_Our bodies get pushed back just as if we were two positive poles repelled by each other._

_That weird invisible force makes me fall on the sand but Jihoon...he lands in the sea and gets swallowed by it._

_I wait and wait but he doesn’t reappear on the surface, there’s no sign of him._

_Legs giving up as I surrender, I fall on my knees, screaming when I realise I had lost him forever. The screams get louder, the tears stream down my face and neck, the pain of the loss tearing me apart._

_Jihoon wasn’t there anymore and it made me go crazy._

The moment I scream Jihoon’s name at the sea, in fear, in pain, in hatred, it’s the moment I wake up from that dream turned into a horrible nightmare. A sigh of relief naturally comes out of my mouth, reassured that none of what I’ve seen is real. 

However, I don’t open my eyes just yet and stay there, trying to take deep breaths and shake off that weight that had settled on my heart. Even though I know it wasn’t the truth, it felt so real that I’m now scared to open my eyes and maybe find out it wasn’t just a dream. 

I hold tight the soft pillow I have in between my arms and suddenly hear the rustling sound of the sheets and also feel like a light pressure on my chest. 

Freezing on the spot but still holding the pillow tight, I wait for that pressure to disappear but it slowly increases and it feels more and more as if someone is pushing me. 

_‘It must still be the effect of my drea-...Wait. Why do I feel a hot breath on my neck?’_

It’s then that I realise I was indeed being pushed away. 

I shoot my eyes open and I’m face to face with Jihoon. 

**“Shit,”** Jihoon whispers and I look at him in disbelief. **“I’m suffocating.”**

_‘Why is he cursing first thing in the morning? And why is he suffocating?’_

Then my eyes travel down and the reason why he can’t breathe becomes pretty clear. I have my arms around him, holding him close to me with his face pressed on my chest. Basically, the pillow wasn’t a pillow. It was Jihoon and I was still hugging him tightly. 

When I realise it, all the blood in my body immediately rushes to my face, making it redder than a ripe tomato and I suddenly wished that some alien would come and abduct me so that I wouldn’t have to explain myself. 

Busy with my own thoughts, it takes a while for my brain to finally give the input to my arms to free Jihoon from my grasp. 

Without him into my arms, though, I feel anxious, as if he could really disappear just like in my dream if I didn’t hold him.

**“I can explai-”** I start but I’m interrupted by Jihoon’s hand which flies to my mouth to shut me up. 

He doesn’t talk but, with his index, he points at us and then at the kitchen. Only when he’s sure that the message got across, he takes his hand away from my face and carefully stands up to make his way to the other room. I do the same, following his steps to be sure not to step on any of the still-sleeping boys.  
Once I’m inside the room, Jihoon closes the door behind me. 

**“I didn’t want to wake the others up.”** Jihoon goes sitting on a stool at the kitchen island. I look at the clock on the wall and see that’s nearly midday. 

**“It should be time they wake up, though. They probably have to go back home,”** I say as I join Jihoon at the counter but instead of sitting down next to him, I stand across from him at the other side of the island. 

**“Still, we got lucky they didn’t or else they would’ve seen us like...that…”** He trails off as his cheeks get rosy. 

**“Like that, what?”** I smirk, amused by Jihoon’s shyness. He rarely gets this flustered and it’s a delightful view. 

**“Oh, stop it. You know what I mean.”** Jihoon focuses his gaze on his fingers which were fidgeting with the shirt of his pyjamas. 

**“No, I really don’t know what you mean.”** My tone is sarcastic as I lean on the marble surface of the counter so I could be closer to Jihoon, my gaze fixed on him. 

He sighs, finally looking directly in my eyes, his expression showing he’s slightly annoyed. **“That we were hugging.”** He shuts his eyes closed and massages his temples. **“They didn’t see us hugging while sleeping. Who knows for how long they could’ve mocked us for that...and Wonwoo.”** Jihoon takes a pause and suddenly shivers, maybe a reaction to what he has imagined. **“If he had seen us, he would’ve caused a scene.”**

**“Right. However,”** I walk around the island to sit next to Jihoon and throw my arm around his shoulders. He flinches at the sudden touch, his shoulder tensing up for a second before sagging. **“I would’ve explained the truth to him.”**

**“Which is?”** He turns around to look at me. **“Tell me, because I too would like to know why I woke up with you basically holding me so tight I thought you were trying to choke me to death.”**

**“Not too long after we all fell asleep, you were shivering. I couldn’t go upstairs to bring another blanket because if I tried to, I would’ve stepped on Seungkwan and the first thing that came to my mind was to warm you up by covering you up with my blanket and hugging you,”** I share with him the thought process that went on my mind that night. 

Jihoon groans. **“Oh, yeah. Wonwoo would’ve totally not made a scene after seeing us and hearing your explanation,”** He says in a sarcastic tone. **“You know he doesn’t like me being too close to you and this would’ve worsened the situation.”**

**“You’re right but-”**

**“What are you two talking about in here?”**

My sentence is interrupted by Seungkwan walking into the kitchen and going straight for the cupboard where the dishes are. He takes a bowl and then grabs the cereal box from another shelf before sitting down on the other free stool next to Jihoon. 

**“Soonyoung, do you mind passing me the milk?”** Seungkwan asks as he scratches the back of his head, his eyelids not fully open. **“Oh, and a spoon too.”**

**“Yeah, yeah.”** I stand up to take what Seungkwan asked for. **“Ji, do you want some cereals too? Should I grab you a bowl before I sit down?”**

**“No, I’m good. I’ll be soon eating lunch anyway so don’t worry.”**

**“Lunch?”** Seungkwan’s suddenly super-awake. **“Wait, what time is it?”**

**“It’s five minutes to midday,”** I say as I point at the clock behind me. 

**“Shit, I promised mom to be home before midday because we had some guests today.”** He stands up, making the stool screech on the floor and bolts out of the room while muttering **“shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.”**

**“That was something.”** Jihoon chuckles. 

**“I know, even though it’s not a rare sight to hear Seungkwan curse this much.”** I put the bowl and the cereals back to their place and then go standing next to Jihoon. **“Should we go waking the others up before Seungkwan does with his cursing?”**

**“We definitely should, even though I would like to see Mingyu getting mad at him for waking him up like that.”** Jihoon laughs at the thought. 

**“Yeah, me too.”** I join him in his fit of laughter and we both leave the room together. 

  
  
  


Waking up the boys has been the most difficult task of my entire life.  
I had to bear Mingyu hyung cursing, then Jeonghan hyung tried to use me as his plushie and, for a while, I thought that I wouldn’t be able to wake Seungcheol hyung up not even by causing some sort of explosion next to his ear. 

Luckily, we had the Jeonghan’s card. 

It took him just one sentence to have Seungcheol up on his feet. 

What was that Jeonghan said? We didn’t hear but I think all of us know it was related to their private couple life (if you know what I mean). However, I had never seen someone get ready to leave as fast as Seungcheol did. 

With the first couple going back to their houses, the rest started leaving too. 

  


**“Wonwoo hyung, do you need a lift home?”** Mingyu asks while wearing his coat in the hall. 

**“No, Gyu, thanks. I promised Soonyoung I would’ve stayed here this afternoon.”** Wonwoo turns around to fondly smile at me.

Mingyu nods. **“What about you, Jihoon? You’ll stay here too with them?”** He asks while looking at the boy who was helping Joshua putting the last sofa at his right place.

**“No, actually, can you drop me at the bus station? I have to go on a date with Chanyeol.”**

**“Of course,”** Mingyu says as he wears his sneakers. **“Is everything okay with him? I ask because it’s been so long since you last met him.”**

**“Yup, everything’s fine.”** He smiles to reassure Mingyu but he is faking it. I could tell by the fact that his eyes didn’t have that usual light they had when someone mentioned Chanyeol’s name when they were first dating. 

Also, knowing that he is going through a phase where he isn’t sure about his feelings for him, made it even more obvious to me. 

Instinctively, I try to reach out my hand and hold Jihoon’s arm to give him some sort of comfort, to let him know that I am here for him, but I drop it as soon as I see the way Wonwoo and Joshua are looking at my hand.  
One is desperately hoping I won’t do it, the other one desperately wants me to do it so he can prove he’s right about Jihoon and me. 

**“That’s good,”** Joshua says as he grabs his long padding from the hanger. **“I thought something happened and that was the reason why you were spending more time with Soonyoung.”**

**“Can’t I spend some time with my best friend, hyung? Plus, I have been sick for almost an entire week so there wasn’t an occasion to go on a date.”** Jihoon grabs his backpack and slings it on his shoulder, not even looking at Joshua as he answers.

**“You have a point.”** Joshua opens the door and Mingyu is the first one to walk through it as he cannot stand that weird atmosphere that has suddenly arisen around the two of them. **“Well, I got to go now. See you, guys.”**

**“Let’s go, Jihoon or you’ll be late for the date,”** Mingyu grabs Jihoon by the coat and drags him to the car. 

**“I’m coming. There’s no need to grab me like this...unless you have a death wish, hyung.”** Jihoon creepily smiles at Mingyu and that poor soul looks so frightened to the point he immediately let go of the smaller. 

**“Don’t kill him, Ji. Wonwoo and I won’t help you dispose of his body.”** I chuckle. 

**“There’s no need to. I can do it by myself,”** Jihoon says as he gets in the passenger seat and closes the car door. 

Wonwoo and I watch the car leave the driveway before walking in.  
It’s almost two in the afternoon when everyone has finally left and we still have to eat lunch. Since cooking would take too much time and we are starving, we call the same delivery place as yesterday and order some more takeout food. 

The afternoon goes by pretty quickly as we eat, watch an episode of Knowing Bros and then play some video-games. 

I’m bad at games, so Wonwoo had to patiently teach me the basis of some computer games he liked and we played in a team to make things easier for me. However, when he proposed to play Fifa later that night, I was pretty confident of my skills and decided it was time for us to play on opposite teams. 

One match, two, three and I lost them all. 

**“How is this possible?”** I cry out pausing the game when I was about to lose 7-0. **“I thought I was good!”**

**“It is possible.”** Wonwoo giggles as he scoots over on the couch to wrap his arm around my shoulders. **“You just need to practise since it’s that what makes you a good player. Also, you’ve never played Fifa before today.”**

**“Actually, I did.”**

**“When? I don’t think I’ve seen you play”**

**“It’s basically the only game I’ve been playing to this week and I won almost every match!”** I turn towards Wonwoo to complain, letting his arm fall on the couch. 

**“You know, if you played on easy mode and against the CPU it’s only normal that you won.”**

**“It wasn’t against the CPU.”** I cross my arms over my chest and pout, sulking at the fact that Wonwoo thought lowly of my skills at this game. 

**“Uh? Then with whom you played?”** His brows are furrowed in confusion. 

**“Jihoon,”** I say as if it’s the most obvious answer of this world. **“I played a lot against him and, at this point, I think he only let me win so I wouldn’t whine about losing,”** I scoff. 

**“ _Oh_.” **

**“I can’t believe he lost on purpose. Does he think I’m that bad at games? I will teach him a lesson next time we-”**

I stop mid-sentence when I hear a sniffing sound. I whip my head towards my left and see that the sound came from Wonwoo whose head is hanging low, hands closed in fists on top of his knees. 

**“Wonwoo?”**

**“Why everything has to come down to Jihoon, uh?”** He asks, not lifting his head and tightening his fists.

**“What are you-”**

**“NO,”** he shouts, interrupting me. **“Let me finish.”** When he looks at me, right into my eyes, I could see the hurt and anger in them and my heart ached at the sight. **“It’s all about Jihoon. You spend most of your time with him, hanging at his or your house. When we’re all in the same room, you refrain yourself from being near him just because you know Chanyeol and I would be too upset, however, you wait for the right time to interact with him, laugh at his jokes and spare glances at him. Last but not least, when Jihoon isn’t around, you end up mentioning him whenever a new topic pops up in our conversations.”**

**“I don’t do that!”** I can’t help but say. 

**“Oh, you do. You did it a while ago, too. Not only now that we were playing Fifa but even before. While I was teaching you how to play a game, you went like _‘I have to tell Jihoon I learned this’_ or things like that.” **

**“Am I not allowed to say that?”** I almost yell, bolting up from the couch. **“Am I not allowed to share with Jihoon the things I do with you? He tells me all the time about the things he does with Chanyeol!”**

Wonwoo gets up too and stands right in front of me. **“It’s not what I meant and you know it!”**

**“Oh, so what did you mean?”** I cross my arms and nervously tap my foot on the floor. **“Enlighten me.”**

**“I meant that you only have eyes for him! Right now, he’s the only person you can see and the rest of us including me, doesn’t matter at all,”** Wonwoo shouts, right arm extended and finger pointing at nowhere in particular. 

**“How can you say such a thing? You know how much all of you, how much _YOU_ matter to me.”** I walk closer to him, eyes staring into his. **“You’re my boyfriend, Wonwoo, and you come before anyone else.”**

**“I don’t think so.”** Wonwoo snaps his head on the side, looking at the place where the futons were laying the night before. **“Jihoon comes first and the event of the past days were a dead giveaway to me.”**

**“He was sick! What should’ve I done? Leave my best friend alone when he needed me?”**

**“Maybe. He would’ve been fine anyway.”**

**“Are you hearing yourself?! He’s your friend, too!”**

**“Right, he’s one of my best friends, too, but I didn’t act as you did.”** His eyes, still trained on the floor, have now lost focus. **“Of course, when he fainted I was scared and I was worried about his condition but I didn’t cry, I didn’t hold his hand and brought him to my house, I didn’t take care of him all night long and spent the next days to his house until he recovered, ignoring my boyfriend’s texts.”** He takes a pause, his lips becoming a thin line for a couple of seconds, a sign that what he was about to say was something that had hurt him. **“Most of all, I don’t go around spooning my best friends.”**

My eyes widen at the realisation that Wonwoo had seen that. 

_‘How did he see that? We were the first one to wake up this morning.’_

**“Yes, I’ve seen you two cuddling,”** Wonwoo adds. **“Did you think I haven’t just because I woke up after you two did?”** He scoffs as I don’t answer him. **“You know, when tonight I heard some noises in the room we were sleeping in, I never thought I would see my boyfriend getting in my friend’s bed and cuddle with him as if I wasn’t laying down next to them.”** At that moment, all the hurt in Wonwoo’s eyes morphed into something evil. **“Tell me, did you wait for me to fall asleep so you could hug your Jihoonie?”**

**“No!”** Shocked, I look at Wonwoo with wide eyes and disbelief as I feel wrongly accused. **“I hugged him only because he was cold and I didn’t have another blanket to give him! I thought he was running a fever again!”**

**“You could’ve given him your blanket and come to sleep next to me since I am your boyfriend.”** Wonwoo spits with venom. **“Stop making excuses and just tell me the truth, Soonyoung,”**

**“It’s true, though! Why would I do such a thing behind your back?”**

**“Because you like him but you don’t have the guts to tell him.”**  
Here comes the first blow.  
**“And you’re not brave enough to break up with me.”**  
Another blow.  
**“Or maybe, you’re just too insecure, too afraid he won’t break up with Chanyeol for you.”**  
And I’m K.O. 

**“Why are you being so cruel?!”** My voice breaks and the first tears fall from my eyes. **“Not a thing of what you said is true. I love you and you should know by now how much you mean to me.”**

**“Apparently, I mean less than Jihoon means to you. You care about him more than you care about me and I’m fed up of people like you who say a thing and do a different one. You say I come first but I’ve never actually been your priority.”**

**“Are you being serious?”** I refrain myself from shedding more tears in front of Wonwoo only to let all the words I’ve been holding back, flow out of my mouth. **“Well, I’m sorry if I haven’t been the boyfriend you expected me to be but, you know, in real life, people are usually different from your expectations. I love my friends and I would do anything for them so all of the things I did for Jihoon, I would’ve done them for Joshua, for Seokmin, for Mingyu and for any of the _Jeonghan’s bitches_. I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I don’t have any kind of romantic feelings for Jihoon so all of the things you listed before are all up in your head. The only person I have eyes for, the only person to whom my heart belongs to is you and I’m so disappointed that your jealousy is blinding you to the point you can’t see how much I adore and love you.”** By the end of the speech, I’m panting, short on breath due to the sudden outburst. **“Now, get out of my house. You said you’re fed up of people like me, so that’s the door. You’re free to go.”**

Without saying a single word, Wonwoo turns around and rushes to the hallway. He hurriedly grabs his belongings and walks away, slamming the door behind him without even wearing his coat before doing so. 

Left alone with just the echo of the slam in the house, my brain processes what has just happened and I fall on the ground, knees giving up as a wave of sadness hits me right after the adrenaline rush from the outburst disappears. 

Once again, tears stream down my face and my whole body shakes while bawling.  
Everything hurts like hell, my body, my heart, my mind and I know the pain won’t stop soon.  
I can’t help but think that I had already seen this coming, the moment when Wonwoo would’ve left me because I wasn’t enough for him. I couldn’t keep him close to me, couldn’t make him feel secure so it was only fair that he left me alone to cry. I deserve to suffer just how much (if not more than) he did because of me, because I couldn’t be the boyfriend he wished to have. 

However, there’s a part of me wishing to be comforted, to be held close and gently sushed, to be told that things can be fixed, that it’s going to be okay. I need somebody who can take the pain away just by standing close to me. Somebody who promised to do all these things for me any time I needed it.

_‘You said you would’ve been by my side through the pain and the toughest times. You said that you wouldn’t leave me alone. So where are you, Jihoon? Please, come to me. I need you.’_

  
  
  
  


**Jihoon’s point of view**

The cold wind hits my face and I shiver as I shove my hands deeper in my pocket, hoping it would help me feel warmer. 

Chanyeol and I are walking in a park near his house. The snow is falling from the sky, gently landing on our heads and bodies as well as the tall bare trees and the ground. Everything looks so white and pure because of this snow blanket. 

The scenery is really beautiful but, for some weird reason, suffocating at the same time. Maybe it’s because of the big contrast with how colourful this park usually looks during the other seasons or maybe it’s just because I wish I could be with someone else right now, holding hands as we walk in the snow. 

I can picture Soonyoung being excited of being here just like a puppy seeing the snow for the first time; Soonyoung looking adorable as he scrunches his nose because a snowflake landed on his nose, leaving a wet and cold spot on it; Soonyoung being playful as he crouches down saying he has to tie his boots but instead he gathers snow in his hands and throws it at me, starting a fight that would end up with the both of us falling in the snow and laughing at how childish we are; Soonyoung who could instantly warm me up with just a smile of his. 

Unconsciously, I smile too at the thought of him and Chanyeol notices it. 

**“Why are you smiling?”**

**“Nothing. I was just looking at those children making snow angels and found them adorable,”** I say and it’s kind of true because they were actually being adorable, one child saying that he couldn’t wait to grow up so that his angel would be bigger than it is right now. 

**“They’re cute but not as cute as me, right?”** Chanyeol takes a hand out of his pocket to poke his cheek and do a cute pose. 

**“Yeah.”**

I giggle and Chanyeol seems satisfied by it but then sighs and suddenly stops in his tracks. 

**“You know, Jihoon.”** I stop too and turn around to look at him. He stands there, giving me a tight smile, hesitating before saying, **“I’ve missed you and even though I’m here with you, I still miss you. However, it seems like I’m the only one who feels this way.”**

I take a step closer to him. **“What do you mean?”**

**“I mean that you maybe didn’t miss me too.”** He sighs. **“Look, I know you were sick and we couldn’t go on dates and things like that but we’ve barely spoken to each other.”** The wind blows stronger than it did before and Chanyeol fixes his scarf so to cover his neck and chin better. **“Your replies to my texts came after ages and I wanted to convince myself it was because you were sleeping to recover faster or because, I don’t know, your parents or friends came to visit you. However, at some point, it felt like it wasn’t that you couldn’t reply but you didn’t want to. Plus, when I asked you if I could come to your house to see you, to see how you were doing, your answer was always a no. I felt like I was being pushed away and it hurt.”**

**“It’s not like that. I wasn’t trying to push you away.”** Ashamed of my actions, knowing that what I did was wrong, I break eye-contact with him and look at the snow-covered path under my feet instead. 

**“Then why were you kind of ghosting me? Why I couldn’t come to your house as the others did? Is it because you didn’t want to introduce me as your boyfriend to your parents?”**

**“That’s the reason...or at least part of it.”**

**“Part of it? So there’s more?”** Chanyeol asks confused and his voice breaks at the end of the question. 

Suddenly, I panic at the thought of him crying. I don’t want him to cry because of someone like me, someone cruel who knows that the truth will break his lover’s heart but is about to reveal it anyway, someone who doesn’t deserve his partner’s tears and love. 

**“I didn’t want you to come to my house because you would’ve only gotten angry.”**

**“At what? If you mean at you, yes, I was angry because you couldn’t take care of yourself and that’s why you fainted and-”**

**“Soonyoung has been at my house for the past three days,”** I say, interrupting him before he could finish scolding me. 

**“That’s it? That’s the reason? Well, we’re not the bestest of friends, but I could’ve tolerated him or I could’ve come when he went back home.”**

**“No, he stayed over,”** I explain to him. “ **You know that his parents aren’t home so he’s alone and that’s why my mother invited him to our house so we both would’ve had some company.”** Once again, I look away from Chanyeol, not to see the way his broken heart is reflected in his eyes.

**“Alone?! But even without you, he wouldn’t have been alone because he has Joshua, Seokmin and Wonwoo. The same goes for you because you have me, your boyfriend!”** His voice shakes as he speaks. **“I should’ve been the one staying by your side and taking care of you, not him!”**

**“I know and I’m sorry.”**

**“For what? For doing whatever you want to and not thinking about my feelings? For not loving me in the same way I love you? For being a shitty boyfriend who cares more about his new bestie instead of his own boyfriend?”** He groans and I can hear him shifting on his legs as he tries to calm himself down.

**“I’m sorry.”** My head sinks ever lower than it already did. 

**“Sometimes, I think about how we were before Soonyoung came into your life, you know, when you still hated him. We were so happy, Jihoon. We couldn’t stay away from each other not even for a minute, we talked about so many things and the way you looked at me made me feel so special. However, things changed the moment that hamster became your friend. After school, you and him go home together when before you usually walked me to the bus station or went for a quick date; when we are alone, we don’t talk as much as we used to and most of the time is spent in silence or with me trying to start a conversation and you keeping your answers to the bare minimum.”** At this point, Chanyeol has started crying, his words interspersed with sobs. **“What hurts me the most is how the look in your eyes has changed, how cold they are when you’re with me but light up the moment you spot Soonyoung. It’s as if they’re alive again. The way they search for him when you two are in the same room and the way they smile together with your lips when your eyes met his.”**

**“I’m sorry.”**

**“All of this makes me feel like I was important to you at first but that, with time, I became a replacement, like I’m here with you just because you can’t have Soonyoung.”**

**“I’m sorry.”**

Chanyeol takes big strides towards me and grabs me by the collar of my coat before shouting, **“Stop saying you’re sorry, you asshole, and answer me! Am I right? Do you love Soonyoung more than you love me?”**

**“I’m sorry.”**

**“I swear, Jihoon, if you say sorry one more time, I’m going to leave.”**

**“I’m sorry.”**

**“I see you’ve made your choice.”** And with that said, Chanyeol lets go of me. 

  


It’s only when the sound of his shoes stomping on the snow becomes fainter and fainter that I lift my head again to watch him walking away and whisper to myself. 

**“I’m sorry for countless reasons. I’m sorry I’m causing you pain. I’m sorry you have to go through this because of me. I’m sorry you have to feel this way. I’m sorry I love Soonyoung more than I love you. I’m sorry for being a coward and keeping you by my side instead of letting you go. I’m so, so sorry, Chanyeol.”**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


After aimlessly walking around for an hour or so and watching the sky getting darker, thinking about whether running after Chanyeol and make up with him or not, I take a bus to go back home deciding it was better to leave him alone to hate me for one night. 

As I get down at the nearest station and walk down the street, I feel some sort of tug towards Soonyoung’s house. It’s as if I am being pulled to him by a mysterious force even though I try to stop my feet from walking. 

I try to make my body understand that I can’t suddenly show at his front door without even a heads-up. What if he’s still with Wonwoo? I would only embarrass myself and interrupt whatever they are doing right now.  
Both Soonyoung and Wonwoo would hate me for not letting them have their deserved alone time after being apart for almost a week and after being surrounded by all of their friends for a whole twenty-four hours. I’m sure Soonyoung won’t let me off the hook for the rest of our lives if I do this. 

But before I could’ve even realise it, my hand had already rung the doorbell. 

_‘Shit, why does my body acts on his own? What excuse should I make up? That I left something here? Think, Jihoon. Oh shit, the lights are all off. What if he is sleeping? He will definitely kill me if I’ve woken him up.’_

However, all the excuses and all the thoughts running in my mind disappear the moment a crying Soonyoung opens the door. His eyes are swollen, red and watery, his cheeks stained with tears and his nose red from too much blowing. 

The moment he realises who is the person standing in front of him, his eyes widen and he throws his hands around my neck, burying his head on my shoulder as he cries. 

**“Jihoon...you are really here...Jihoonie…”** his sobs get louder after every word he says and the way he’s shaking worries me. 

**“Soonyoung, what happened? Why are you crying?”** I ask while hugging him as tight as I can with one arm while I pet his head with the other one. 

**“Jihoonie...I was right…”** He sniffles and sobs, arms moving from my neck to my waist to hold me tighter and closer to him. **“Wonwoo left me.”**

  
  
  
  


**Seokmin’s point of view**

It’s almost half-past two in the afternoon and I’m alone in the kitchen, heating some leftovers for a quick meal. My father is on the computer working on a project while my mom is on the sofa chatting on the phone with one of her friends. I came back home from Soonyoung’s house not even twenty minutes ago and that’s why I missed lunchtime. Luckily, my parents didn’t complain about this or about the fact that they will later have to drop me off again in that neighbourhood. However, this time they won’t leave me in front of Soonyoung’s house but in front of Joshua’s. 

Why? Because today is the day of our first date. 

Just the thought of it and of what happened earlier at Soonyoung’s house makes me blush. 

* * *

  


_It’s morning when Soonyoung and Jihoon come to wake me up, I don’t precisely know what time it is but judging from their faces and the way they shout at the others, it has to be pretty late. As soon as my eyes stop blurring things out, I grab my phone and see that it is indeed late. I text my father asking him if he can come and pick me up and he is quick to answer that he will be on his way right after he finishes lunch._

_To kill some time, I change into clean clothes, pack my things and even offer help to my friends so we can wake the others up faster than it was done by just the two of them. And, to stay true to their evil nature, they let me wake Joshua up._

_I walk closer to his sleeping bag and crouch to gently shake his shoulders._

_**“Hyung, hyung, you have to wake up,”** I say in a loud voice to make sure he hears me. _

_Joshua shifts and rolls to lay on his side, hand covering his ear to block any noise from interrupting his sleep again._

_**“Hyung, don’t be like that.”** I lean with my left hand on the part of the sleeping bag where Joshua’s back was, this way, I can be closer to his ear and say, **“It’s time to go.”** _

_He groans and doesn’t show any sign of waking up. I lift my right hand and was about to shake his shoulder again when he suddenly rolls around, knocking on the only hand supporting my whole body and making me fall right on his chest._

_My eyes widen as soon as my head comes in contact with Joshua’s chest and when I turn around to see his reaction, he seems unbothered. He is rubbing the sleep away from his eyes as he yawns and he doesn’t seem to realise what has happened._

_Even when he has just woken up, he looks like a god descended on Earth to bless me with his whole existence, making the butterflies in my stomach go crazy the moment his full lips stretch to flash me a smile and his fingers brush my hair away from my face._

_**“Do you like what you’re seeing?”** He asks with the hint of a playful smirk on his lips. **“Did you want to see my face from a different angle? Is it good from there?”** _

_**“What are you saying? I just fell.”** I stand up and try to regain some composure, hoping the blood will rush away from my face. _

_**“Did you fall for me?”** He sits on the floor with his legs crossed and looks at me with his eyes still half-closed. _

‘Yes, I definitely fell for you.’ _I think but, instead, I answer, **“I fell because of you, not for you.”** and the plan of not blushing definitely failed. How can he say those things while looking so cute? _

_**“I hope that, soon, you’ll fall for me, too,”** He whispers as he plays with the hem of his shirt. _

_I don’t know if that was meant for me to hear but to avoid things from getting awkward, I drop the topic and leave the room to get something fresh to cool me down._

_After that, Joshua is busy sending Jeonghan and Seungcheol off and then getting ready to drop Seungkwan off at his house while I’m lying on the now-free-from-Mingyu sofa scrolling through my Twitter timeline._

_I am looking at memes about two idols from a famous girl group and boy group dating when I got a text from my father._

**Dad:** _  
Min, I’m outside._

**DonkeyKong:**  
_I’ll be right there._  
_Just let me tell Soonyoung I’m leaving._

**Dad:** _  
Okay._

_Shoving my phone in my pocket, I get up to look for the house owner so I could tell him that I’m going to leave. I find him in the kitchen, trying to convince Seungkwan that going to the ice rink when Jihoon has just recovered wasn’t really a good idea._

_**“Soonyoung, I got to go. My father is already waiting for me,”** I say, patting on his back to gain his attention. _

**_“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow morning, right? You need to buy that thing for your mother.”_ **

**_“Yes, make sure to be on time.”_ **

**_“I will! Do you want me to walk you to the door?”_ **

**_“There’s no need to. Just let me know if we’re going to the ice rink or not.”_ **

_As soon as Soonyoung hums in answer, I turn around and go back to the living room to grab my bag._

_I’m by the front door wearing my coat when I hear the sound of steps getting louder as someone is probably walking towards where I am standing._

_**“You’re already leaving?”** Joshua leans on the wall, arms crossed on his chest. _

_**“Yup and what do you mean by ‘already’? We should’ve been home a long time ago,”** I tell him as I close the coat’s zip. _

_**“You have a point.”** He giggles. **“However, what I wanted to tell you is not to forget about tonight.”** He smiles, wide, before saying, **“We have a date.”** _

_**“I didn’t forget. Half-past six at your house.”** Joshua nods at my correct answer. “ **Wait, where are your parents though? Won’t they be there, too?”** I ask, already panicking at the thought of having to dine with Joshua’s parents while I am someone different who I usually am. Yeah, because this time I wouldn’t be there as Joshua’s best friend but as his date and this is thrilling both in a good and a bad way. _

**_“I made sure they won’t be home.”_ **

**_“How did you do that?”_ **

_**“Bought them tickets for their favourite musical which is playing at the local theatre tonight. This way, they can have some time for themselves and I can have the whole house just for the two of us,”** He explains, proud of his foolproof plan and clearly excited at the idea of this date. **“I did it because I know you would be uncomfortable if we went out to eat at some chic restaurant or if we stayed in the house with them around and I don’t want that. I want you to feel at ease.”** _

_This is one of the things I have always liked about him, the way he cares about you and his gentleman-like manners, the way he makes sure to give you all you need so you can feel comfortable around him._

_**“T-thanks.”** I stutter as my heart starts beating faster and I can feel knot after knot tying in my stomach. **“I’ll see you later then.”** _

  


* * *

  
  


I have a date with Joshua hyung in a couple of hours and I still can’t believe this. 

My mind goes to that night at Soonyoung’s, when we played truth or dare, and everything had escalated so quickly.

Me suggesting the dare of going out with the last person he had flirted with through texts.  
Joshua sending me a text asking to go out with him.  
Me realising I was the person he had last flirted with and that I got myself a date with him by chance. 

Actually, I think it was pure luck or that some kind of god has pitied me as he saw me pining after Joshua hyung for years so they decided to bless me with this opportunity. They knew I would’ve probably never confessed my feelings, too afraid of rejection and of ruining the friendship between the two of us and with the rest of the group, that’s why they let this happen. 

To be honest, at first, I wanted to dare him to go outside in the snow with just his pyjamas on and make a snow angel, but then I suddenly felt like I had to change it, to make things more interesting since there were just the three of us anyway. 

I didn’t expect it to turn this way, with me having the opportunity to go out with the person I like. 

However, I’m quite torn inside as I think about it.  
A part of me keeps telling me that it’s just a dream and none of it it’s real, that I start hallucinating after having the biggest, fattest and longest crush on him.  
The other part of me is just too excited to think straight and it panics quite a lot, and it does even now when I check the time and see it's almost five o’clock. 

_'For how long did I space out? When did I finish eating? Wait, what’s most important is what am I going to wear later?'_

In a wave of real panic, I nearly break the dishes as I throw them into the dishwasher before running upstairs to take a bath, hoping not to space out for too long as I think about the right clothes to wear. 

After a good thirty minutes of being soaked in water, I'm still undecided on how I can dress to impress but still look like as if I haven't tried too hard for it. 

Digging in the closet and all the drawers didn't help; trying to look for something among my father’s clothes didn’t help either so I’m only left with panic and the need to ask for help. 

Usually, I would call either Soonyoung or Joshua because they’re my best friends and they know what I may like, but today I can't. Soonyoung is with Wonwoo and I really don't want to bother them. As for Joshua, well, I can't ask my date what to wear and make him sense how tense I am about tonight. 

People’s faces pass before my eyes while I decide to whom I can turn to for help and, in the end, the only person with a good sense of fashion I know is Mingyu so I quickly send him an SOS text. 

**DonkeyKong:**  
_Mingyu hyung, are you busy?_

**Pupgyu:**  
_Not really, why?_

**DonkeyKong:**  
_I kind of need your help._

**Pupgyu:**  
_What happened?_  
_Do I need to worry?_  
_Is it something bad?_

**DonkeyKong:**  
_No, it’s just that I have to go somewhere in a bit and I don’t know what to wear._

**Pupgyu:**  
_Are you talking about your date with Joshua hyung?_

**DonkeyKong:**  
_How do you know that?_

**Pupgyu:**  
_Everybody knows it, plus I heard you and Joshua earlier today._

**DonkeyKong:**  
_Well, if you heard, you also know that I’m running quite late._

**Pupgyu:**  
_You still have an hour left, right?_  
_Calm down and tell me more or less the style you want to go for._

**DonkeyKong:**  
_I want to look good without trying too hard, do you know what I mean?_

**Pupgyu:**  
_Yup._  
_Do you already have an idea?_

**DonkeyKong:**  
_Kind of?_  
_As I was texting you, three outfits came in my mind but I can’t decide._

**Pupgyu:**  
_Show me them._  
_Send me a pic of the clothes._

**DonkeyKong:**  
_Alright._  
*Three photos attached* _What do you think?_

**Pupgyu:**  
_What if you wear the black turtleneck from the first outfit._  
_The black skinny jeans from the third one._  
_The leather jacket you were wearing last night, you know, the one with the fur inside and a pair of black boots?_

**DonkeyKong:**  
_Isn’t it too much black?_

**Pupgyu:**  
_For the kind of concept you want to go for, a total black outfit is just the perfect choice._

**DonkeyKong:**  
_If you say so, I’ll trust you._  
_And what about the hair?_  
_Should I style them?_

**Pupgyu:**  
_Just don’t._  
_Have them down as you usually do._

**DonkeyKong:**  
_Okay, I’ll change and send you a pic so you can check it out._

**Pupgyu:**  
_I’ll be waiting for it._

**DonkeyKong:**  
_Thank you, hyung._

**Pupgyu:**  
_Don’t mention it._  
_Just one thing, though._

**DonkeyKong:**  
_What is it, hyung?_

**Pupgyu:**  
_Relax._  
_There’s nothing to worry or panic about._  
_Everything will go wonderfully._

**DonkeyKong:**  
_I hope so._  
_I really do._

I press the ‘send’ button and toss my phone on the bed, ready to get changed into my total black outfit. I’m not one to usually dress like this as I prefer having at least one colourful item but Mingyu is the fashion guru between the two of us and if he says I should go for this kind of look, I’ll follow his instructions hoping I won’t look too dumb in it. 

Once I wear the jacket and style my hair down as I do every day, I check my reflection in the mirror and I have to admit that he was right. I should bring him with me next time I go shopping, maybe he can show me a whole new world in this mysterious (at least to me) field. However, seeing myself dressed like this makes me realise that the time for the date has come and I’m still not mentally prepared for it. 

And what do I do? 

I panic again. 

I walk back and forth in the same space in front of the mirror, biting on my nails and trying to reassuring myself that I won’t fuck up and that I just have to see this dinner like any other dinner Joshua and I had alone when Soonyoung wasn’t around. 

A good ten minutes later I finally calm down, I take a deep breath followed by the pic I have to send to Mingyu. When it’s all done, I go downstairs to wear my boots and I’m finally ready to get to Joshua’s house. 

_‘You can do this, Seokmin. Don’t be nervous and go get your man.’_

  
  
  
  
  


By the time I ring at Joshua’s door, it’s half-past six sharp. 

Out of habit, I turn around to glance at Soonyoung’s house and I notice that Wonwoo’s car is still there, parked in the driveway. I smile to myself knowing that my friend is spending some quality time with his boyfriend before the holiday season finishes and we have to go back to school while they go back practising for their gigs. 

When I hear the sound of footsteps coming from the other side of the door, I quickly fix my bangs with one hand and hide the box from _‘Coffee & Goodpie’_ behind my back. 

Bringing a cake is common courtesy when you go to someone else’s house, right? 

Every sound from the inside seems to stop for a couple of seconds, it feels as if everything is in slow motion (except for my heart which is beating faster and faster), and when the door opens to reveal Joshua’s figure, I’m left astonished. He looks so soft as he wears a pair of light blue jeans under a crimson red turtleneck with sweater-paws and has his hair styled down, almost covering his big doe eyes. 

**“Close your mouth and come in. I don’t want you to freeze to death on our first date.”** Joshua giggles and drags me inside, grabbing me by the collar of the leather jacket. 

Once I’m inside, Joshua goes straight to the kitchen. **“I’m sorry if I can’t help you taking your jacket off but I have to check on another couple of things I’m cooking.”** He yells from the room.

**“Don’t worry, hyung,”** I shout back to him as I hang the jacket and toe off my shoes before joining him in the room to put the cake in the fridge. **“Is there something I can help you with?”**

**“No, Seok. You can just sit there, watch me cooking and…”** he takes a dramatic pause, biting his lips while smiling before saying, **“see if I’m boyfriend material enough for you.”** He shows his cheeky grin as he walks near the stove to stir what I guess is pasta in a big pot. 

**“I-I brought a c-cake,”** I stutter and try changing the topic as I feel all the blood rushing to my face, making me redden. **“I figured it was the least I could do since you invited me over.”** I sit down at the table which is already set for two. 

A white tablecloth with a red ribbon sewed along the edges is spread on the wooden surface, the centrepiece is a short white vase filled with a bouquet of white and red roses whose petals are sprinkled with silver glitter. There are some small candles too and if they were lit, it could’ve been the perfect romantic dinner. However, he knows how clumsy I am when I’m nervous and, to avoid starting a fire because of me hitting the candles while flailing my arms around, he has left them unlit.

**“You didn’t have to. You already brought yourself and that’s more than enough.”** Joshua comes closer with a plate of heart-shaped mini sandwiches accompanied by a dipping sauce, which he puts on the table. **“No cake is as pretty and sweet as you are anyway.”**

**“Hyung! Stop it, please,”** I whine as I hide my face in my hands from the embarrassment. 

**“What? Are you shy?”** He asks, ruffling my hair. When I hum in answer without lifting my head from where it was hidden, he says **“You have to get used to it, though. I won’t hold myself back. Not today.”** And with that, he winks and goes back on making pasta as if he hasn’t just left behind a blushing mess of a boy. 

**“How am I supposed to react to that?”** I ask, trying to look as casual as possible but probably failing due to how red I must be. 

**“I don’t know?!”** He giggles and I wish his back wasn’t facing me. I love the way he scrunches his nose and his eyes almost close as he giggles. I really wish I could’ve seen it. **“I guess you just have to accept my shower of attention and compliments. Now, stop questioning things and eat something. I haven’t spent my evening cooking for nothing! You must eat.”**

**“Oh, right.”** I immediately grab a mini sandwich and dip it in the red/brown-ish sauce, giving it a bite and trying to swallow it even though the knot in my throat makes it hard to. **“I like the shape. Plus, it’s really good,”** I say as I examine the other half of the heart-shaped sandwich I’m holding in my hand. 

**“Is it?”** Joshua asks and, before I could even nod or say something to him, he grabs my wrist and eats the half I hadn’t eaten yet, staring right at me as he does so and licking his lips afterwards. **“You’re right. It was good.”**

**“Hey! I was eating that?!”** I complain, heart still beating fast at the dangerous proximity of mine and Joshua’s faces. **“Why did you do that?”**

**“You ate a half and I ate the other one. Two halves of a whole”** He takes a pause to put some distance between us, probably knowing that my last two brain cells were about to stop working **“Don’t you think that it’s just like the two of us are? Two people finally ready to become one.”**

  
  


**Joshua’s point of view**

At this point, I guess that, if I keep saying things like this, Seokmin will die on me before we even reach the end of this date. 

**“You’re c-cheesier than the cheese in these sandwiches, you know, hyung?”** He says, grabbing another sandwich and shoving it into his mouth, looking away from me and I can’t help but smile at how adorable he is. 

**“I know but you must know by now that I’m like this only around you.”** I bop his nose before finally going back to finish making the spaghetti I was cooking. 

I pour out all the water from the pot and move the spaghetti in a pan where I had already stir-fried the guanciale. I add the pecorino cheese and the eggs to make the perfect carbonara, the one that Seokmin likes the most. 

In fact, as soon as I put the dish in front of him, his eyes beam at the sight and he almost salivates the way Homer Simpson does when thinking about food. 

**“I guess that my dare was a great idea after all,”** Seokmin says after tasting the pasta and contently humming in approval. 

**“You think so?”**

**“Yup. If I hadn’t asked you that, I wouldn’t be eating this delicious carbonara with the person I like.”** He tries to sound confident but by the way he’s not able to meet my eyes, I can say it took him a lot of courage. 

For the first time, I blush and almost can’t stop a smile from blooming as it’s the first time that Seokmin openly says he likes me. **“So you like me, uh?”** I opt for a smug-ish answer not to betray how the butterflies are crazily flying around my stomach. 

**“Of course, I do.”** Seokmin swallows the spaghetti he has in his mouth before saying, **"Or else I wouldn’t be here with you. Don’t you think?”** He then takes a big sip of water. **“If I didn’t like you, I would’ve declined your invite and I wouldn’t be this nervous around you.”**

**“Wait, are you the same Seokmin I know? How are you being this bold when you were a mess just a while ago?”**

He giggles. **“I guess I have to be straightforward too if I want to have the upper hand on you.”** And then he winks at me. 

Lee Seokmin, the shiest boy I know when it comes to flirting, just winked.

I stay there, mouth slightly agape and the corners of my mouth lifting upwards. I am shocked but in a good way as I’m finding out a side of Seokmin I definitely like. A kind of boldness and a way of flirting that I would’ve missed if we’d never ended up having this date. I silently thanks whoever blessed me by making this happen and keep on eating, casually bantering with Seokmin before a real flirting war started with the sole purpose of seeing who makes whom blush more. 

  
  
  


When dinner’s over, I let Seokmin help me with the cleaning, a great excuse to “accidentally” brush my fingers with his as I pass him the dishes he has to dry. 

Every time my skin touches his, I shiver and I can’t help but wonder if I’ll ever get used to it, if my heart will ever get used to the way Seokmin makes it run faster or skip some beats, depending if he’s in his flirtatious mode or if he is looking breathtakingly cute, that kind of cute that makes you want to hold him tight in your arms, shower him with kisses and never let him go. 

There are times my heart does both things and it’s when a particular cute expression appears on his face every time he’s surprised by something. It’s so adorable that I would like to surprise him in so many different ways only to see that look of his, the one that every single time makes me realise how madly in love I am with him. 

And it’s for the sake of seeing that look on Seokmin that I prepared something special for him.

**“Come with me,”** I tell him, as I grab his hand and drag him across the hallway. 

**“Where are we going?”** He asks, shocked by the sudden action. 

**“You’ll see in a second.”** I put him in front of the closed door of the living room and take a deep breath before grabbing the doorknob. 

I keep my eyes focused on Seokmin as I open the door and what I see it’s exactly what I hoped for. 

His lips part as he gapes at the sight in front of him; his breath kind of shortens as his heart probably beats faster; his cheeks get slightly rosy and his eyes widen just that tad bit that allows you to see better how they enlighten as he admires the blanket fort standing in the middle of the room. Fairy lights adorn the entrance and the inside of the fort where there are pillows and plushies ready to get hugged and squeezed by an excited Seokmin. Various flameless candles light the way as the rest of the room is dimly lighted, and each candle is surrounded by white and red rose petals. 

**“Hyung, I-I am speechless.”** Seokmin takes a tentative step inside the room. **“When did you prepare all of this?”**

**“Right after I came back from Soonyoung’s house. I wanted to surprise you.”**

**“Well, your plan worked.”** He turns around to look at me and give a shy smile. **“I don’t know what to say...it’s so beautiful.”**

**“Shall we get inside?”** I extend my hand for him to take and he does it. I walk in front of him along the short path from the door to the fort and let him enter first. 

Once we’re inside, Seokmin goes for his favourite plushie, a huge Shiba Inu. **“It’s so soft,”** he exclaims as he hugs the giant dog. 

Since I love seeing him being all flustered and shy, I lay down by his side and hug him close, resting my head on the crook of his neck. **“You’re softer.”**

**“What are you doing?!”** He loses the grip on his plushie and lightly hits me on the chest. 

**“Hugging my plushie,”** I say as I throw my leg on him. **“Yup, I definitely prefer you over the other ones in the fort and in the entire world.”**

At this point, Seokmin kind of surrenders to my bold advances. He doesn’t answer but turns around to face me. **“Can I?”**

At first, I don’t get what he’s asking but then I feel his finger carding through my hair in the softest and most loving way possible. I almost purr like a cat, relishing in the sensation. **“Mmmh, I like it.”**

We stay like that for a while, silence surrounding us as we breathe each other in, trying to make the distance between our bodies disappear by holding each other tighter and tighter. Space and time don’t matter anymore, the only thing that does is how our hearts are now matching each other’s beat so they could race together as they wish for this moment to never end. 

  


**“Seokmin, I want to tell you something,”** I suddenly say, breaking the silence. **“Something I’ve been wanting to tell for so long.”**

**“What is it, hyung?”**

I move away from him, enough to allow me to look at him right in the eyes. I fix a few strands of his hair before saying, **“I like you, Seokmin. I like you a lot”** My hand slowly comes down to caress his cheek. **“I don’t really have a good way with words and I’m not one for big and showy acts of love. I’m not like Jihoon who could easily write you a song filled with my true feelings and thoughts, I’m not a painter who could paint you in the way my mind and heart perceive you. I am just me and that’s why I couldn’t find another way but this to tell you how I feel about you. I like you and if you’d ask me since when, I wouldn’t be able to answer. I can’t remember when it happened but I know that one day, I woke up and just knew that something had changed inside myself, that I was whipped for the boy who used to be one of my best friends. From that day onwards, I realised that being your friend wasn’t enough for me anymore. I wanted to hold you close, walk while holding your hand, buy you things and just see you smiling. I wanted you to be happy by my side. I wanted you to like me back.”**

**“And I do, hyung. I like you too and I want to be happy by your side more than anything else,”** Seokmin takes my hand from his cheek and puts it on his mouth to leave pecks on the back of it. **“Actually, I’ve been wanting this for so long but I was afraid that you didn’t feel the same. Seeing you flirting with all those people in the library or basically everywhere we went, made me think that acting upon my feelings would be a stupid thing to do since you didn’t show any interest in me.”**

**“Trust me, the way I flirted with those people is nowhere close to the way I’ve been flirting with you for all this time, including tonight. With them, it was just bantering and I wasn’t really interested in their reactions but with you...I tease you because I love the way you suddenly turn shy or hit me on the arms to make me stop, the way you straighten your back and say that my words don’t work on you at all. I like seeing you flustered because you rarely look all soft and adorable like that.”** Caught up in the moment, I take his hand and place it on my chest. **“Can you hear it?”** Seokmin nods. **“Remember that my heart beats this way because of you and will beat only for you. What I mean is that this heart of mine is yours and will always be.”**

**“And mine is yours, too,”** Seokmin says, shifting on his side so we could be face to face. **“It was already yours to take and, now, it finally belongs to you.”**

**“I promise you to never take it for granted and always take care of it.”** I intertwine my fingers with his and let my face get closer to his. **“I like you, so, so much, Seok, and I want you to be my boyfriend, now and forever.”**

**“I’ll be your boyfriend as long as you will be mine, now and forever.”**

Seokmin inches closer too, our lips only one breath away from each other and before we could even realising it, we were sealing our promise with a kiss, the sweetest kiss I could ever wish for because it tastes of all the time spent chasing after each other.  
Because it tastes of all the tears shed at night, wishing for this not to be unrequited love.  
Because it tastes of all the things waiting for us in our future, the one we will be living together.  
Because it tastes of what I imagined love to be. 

But most of all, because it tastes like Seokmin. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


After dropping Seokmin at his house and spent around ten minutes hugging in front of his door, not really wanting this night to end, I come back home. 

While walking in the driveway, I notice that Wonwoo’s car is not where it was when Seokmin and I left a while ago. He must’ve left and that’s why the lights in Soonyoung’s house are all turned off. Maybe Soons is already sleeping which would be weird considering it’s only half past ten and that we woke up at midday. 

However, as I’m fishing my keys from the pocket of my coat, I see a silhouette heading to Soonyoung’s doorstep. I stop with my hand buried in my pocket, wondering and waiting to see what Jihoon is doing at Soonyoung’s house this late at night. Not even a minute passes before the door opens and the taller literally throws himself in Jihoon’s arms. Judging by the way his shoulders are shaking, he must be crying. 

At that, my body reacts first and I’m already walking down my driveway but stop in my tracks the moment I see my two friends disappearing inside Soonyoung’s house. 

A part of me thinks, _‘Should I go to check on them? What if something bad has happened?’_ while the other one says, _‘Jihoon is with Soonyoung though. Maybe they had a fight and they’re now trying to make up. If that’s the case it is better to leave them alone. If it had been a more serious matter, Soonyoung would’ve called me, right?’_

I nod to myself, yeah, Soonyoung would’ve definitely reached for me in case something really bad had happened but he didn’t, so it should be nothing to worry about. 

Still worried, I convince myself that the best plan is to go inside my house, go to sleep and call Soonyoung first thing in the morning to ask him about Jihoon. 

_‘Yes, this could work.’_

However, even after a cup of hot tea and a bunch of ASMR videos, I can’t seem to fall asleep. Not until I send him a text and leave the sound of his notification and calls on. This way, I’ll wake up the moment he replies to me and that kind of makes me feel better. After doing so, it’s kind of easier to close my eyes and try to reach the dreamland where dreams of happy days with Seokmin are waiting for me. 

  
  
  


**Joshuji:**  
_Soonyoung, I know that I don’t tell you this enough, but I love you._  
_You’re my bestfriend and I want you to know that, no matter what, I’m here to listen to you, to hug you and to comfort you because, through the goods and the bads, we’ve always had each other’s back._  
_I hope you’re sleeping tight now and that you’re having the sweetest of dreams._  
_I’ll see you tomorrow, so prepare to be hugged like there’s no tomorrow hahaha_  
_Once again, I love you!!_

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Jihoon’s point of view**

**“Wonwoo l-left m-me.”** Soonyoung keeps saying in between sobs and his voice trembles since he’s shaking a lot.

Thinking it may be also because of the coldness, I lightly push him so that we can both walk inside without loosening the hug. Once we’re in the hallway, I pull away from him to take off my coat and shoes but the moment I’m free from the coat, he grabs my hand tight. 

I look up at him and my heart breaks at the sight. 

He is a mess and the dim light shining over him makes him look so small and fragile. He looks so wrecked that fire of rage sparks inside me, making me want to punch Wonwoo in the face even though I know nothing about what happened.  
However, the way Soonyoung stands there, head hung low and hand partially covering his face as he sobs, makes my instinct of taking care of him stronger than the one wanting to beat Wonwoo up. 

Without saying a word, I bring him to the kitchen first so he can drink a couple of glasses of water and then I manage to make him walk to the living room and make him sit on the sofa. As he’s still shaking a bit, I grab a blanket Joshua and I had left on the other sofa this morning and wrap it around his shoulders, leaving a soft and long kiss on his hair in hopes it could somewhat help. 

**“Can you tell me what happened or you don’t want to talk about it yet?”** I tentatively ask as I sit down next to him. 

**“Wonwoo t-took his things and left me here, alone.”** He abruptly turns around to face me but as soon as he finishes talking, he lowers his head to look at his fingers playing with the hem of the blanket.

**“Why did he leave?”** I fix the blanket threatening to fall from one of his shoulders. My hand lingers for a while in the air, wanting nothing but to caress his cheeks and wipe his tears, but I let it fall again on my lap. 

He lifts his legs on the sofa, bringing them close to his chest and leaning with his chin on them before explaining the events leading to this. **“We were playing video-games when he got angry at something and started saying mean things to me.”** He sniffles. **“He basically said that my love for him was a farce and that I’m only good to love him with words but I don’t show it with my actions.”**

**“What is that hyung saying? Even the dumbest person on Earth could see how sincere your feelings for him are. Your eyes and the way you look at him say it all.”** Although it hurts, it’s the truth. Soonyoung’s eyes never lie and when he looks at Wonwoo, you could see the love and admiration in them. Sometimes, it’s as if he is looking at a star from up-close. **“Wait, can you tell me what has gotten him so worked up?”** I ask, my body turning towards him.

Soonyoung’s face suddenly turns pale, his pupils shake and he tries to hide all of this with a bitter laugh as he says, **“I can’t really tell you but it’s because he got jealous, which, I guess, it’s normal. Still, why is he so blind?”** Soonyoung, in the sprung of the moment, grabs my hands and I feel a familiar pang at my heart. **“Why does he have to make things harder than they really are?”**

**“I guess Wonwoo told you about his previous relationships so you kind of know why he acts like this. He’s insecure because people from his past have hurt him.”** I take a short pause in between my words to rub my thumb over the knuckles of Soonyoung’s hands, still laying in mine. **“It happened to us too, remember?”**

**“Yeah, but what am I supposed to do if he doesn’t believe me?”** New tears are forming in his eyes as he desperately asks for help. **“What do you think I should do, Jihoon?”** He scoots closer and lays down, the side of his face landing on my chest and his arms wrapping around my middle. 

It’s at this moment, with him laying in my arms, that I realise how cruel the gods up above are. 

Soonyoung’s mental state is very fragile right now as he asks for help, for advice on what to do, and I know that he will take to heart the next words I’ll say because he trusts me, because I’m the person he relies on the most together with Joshua and Seokmin. That’s why I feel as if the gods brought me here to test me. They gave me some sort of “power” to try and change things, to see if I can be a selfish or selfless person. 

If I decide to be selfish, I could tell Soonyoung that Wonwoo will keep being like this and will never fully trust him because once Wonwoo starts having doubts on someone, it’s the end of his relationship with that person.  
I could tell Soonyoung that he deserves something more than this kind of love, that he deserves a partner who can make him feel safe, who can give him certainties about not leaving his side, not even when they get angry at each other.  
I could tell Soonyoung that maybe someone else ready to love him is waiting just around the corner and after some time, tell him that this someone is me, that I am the one who wants to love him and I want to do it out in the open and not in secret like I’m doing now. 

If I decide to be selfless, I could tell Soonyoung that he needs to be by Wonwoo’s side and that he will eventually gain his trust.  
I could tell Soonyoung that he has to fight for the love he has found if he feels like Wonwoo is the right one for him as he makes Soonyoung feel things he had never felt before.  
I could tell Soonyoung that I will be by his side so that after all the hardships he can finally be happy with Wonwoo. 

In the end, what to do and say it’s only up to me and what I want for us. 

Even though I want to be selfish and I want it so bad, I’m still afraid of the consequences. It could work in the beginning but one day, Soonyoung would find out the truth, he would realise that I lied to him so I could have him for myself. He could end up blaming me for not having made his and Wonwoo’s love bloom and he would eventually leave my side forever because of that.  
Plus, I don’t know if I would ever be able to confess to him, to say how I really feel and it’s all because, deep down, I’m certain of what he will say. I can picture him holding my hands just like he did a while ago while saying “I’m sorry. Believe me, I love you but not in that way.” It would hurt so much not only because of the rejection per se, but because slowly things will change, he will refrain himself from doing and saying what he really wants, thinking I would read too much into it or that it would hurt me and eventually we will fall apart, acting like strangers even though we had our backs in our hardest time. 

And it’s because I don’t want this to happen, because I want to be there for him when he needs me the most that I have to be selfless. 

It’s a paradox, but I have to let him go to if I want to have him by my side. 

I wrap my arms around him and pull him closer, holding him tighter as I lean my chin on top of his head. **“You know, there are people who say that love is easy and others who say that love it’s too complicated. What about you? To which group you belong to?”**

**“As of now, the second one,”** he answers after thinking about it and not questioning why the sudden change of topic. **“What about you?”**

**“At first, I agreed with what the first one thought but over the years I realised that also the second group is right. By now, I am in the middle ground,”** I say as I rub my thumbs in circles on his arm to soothe him. **“That’s because I think that love is both easy and difficult. Falling in love with someone is so easy, it takes not even a second to fall and, with time, you keep falling for that person; it’s easy to have them in your mind all day and all night; it’s easy to accept the things we love about them and it’s easy to feel giddy around them. At the same time, it’s difficult to truly love someone, to keep that happiness alive, that feeling of being home when you are in other person’s arms; it’s difficult to get to know them and to love them to the point you even accept their flaws and the ‘dark’ side they usually hide to people they don’t trust; sometimes it’s even difficult to make up after fighting and it’s difficult to overcome hardships together. Do you get what I mean?”**

**“To be honest, I’m a bit confused,”** Soonyoung says, freeing himself from my arms just that much allowing him to turn his head towards me. Our faces are now a few centimetres away from each other. **“What are you trying to say?”**

I gulp down as I stare at his lips, too close to mine. **“I mean that love is both easy and difficult. The pendulum isn’t stuck on one of the two sides but it swings from one to another, meaning that there are times in which loving someone comes easy and others when one must be patient and willing to work hard, to fight for that person. Can you do that?”**

**“Of course, I can.”** He returns to his previous position in my arms and I brush his hair as I keep the hold on him loose. **“I love him, so I’m confident I can fight for him.”**

**“Then, you have your own answer. Let him spend this night alone so he can calm down and tomorrow you can find ways to make up to him. I bet he wants that too and he will be sorry for the things he said.”**

**“I will do as you say. Thank you, Jihoon.”** Soonyoung grabs one of my hands, placing a soft kiss on the palm and lovingly rubbing that spot. **“I don’t know what I would be doing without you.”**

**“Probably eating tons of ice cream while watching a sad movie.”** I try to lighten the mood and it seems to work.

**“You know me too well.”** Soonyoung giggles and he seems to have relaxed when he makes himself more comfortable in my arms as he turns the tv on to watch an episode of our favourite tv show. **“Want to stay here a while longer and watch this with me?”**

**“Sure, why not?”** I smile at him and then fix the blanket so it can cover both our bodies. As he watches the tv and laughs at whatever it’s shown to the screen, I can’t help but lose myself in a train of thoughts. 

  
  
  


_‘Soonyoung, I know I promised to be by your side and I’ll be with you for as long as I can. However, a time will come when these feelings will be too much for me and I won’t be able to keep my promise anymore. I hope that, when the time comes, you’ll have learned how to live without me because I’m going to run away from you, to run away from what I can never have. Please, promise me you won’t hate yourself for it and that you won’t be too much in pain for me. I want you to be happy and to smile because I love you. I love you so much, maybe too much.’_

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Soonyoung’s point of view**

**"Oh my God! You finally made it!”** I screech even before opening the door and let the boys inside my house. **“I thought you were going to dump us!”**

**“Right! I was about to call and yell at you, one by one,”** Joshua screams from the kitchen where he was setting the table with snacks and cans of beer as well as some bottles of soda and water. 

**“We would never!”** Seungkwan leaves his coat on the hanger and runs for the couch, plopping himself down and closing his eyes. **“We were running late because of someone, aka Kim Mingyu, who wasted a lot of time in front of his mirror trying to decide on what to wear tonight when he can pull literally any outfit off.”**

**“I did not waste time!”** Mingyu goes to sit next to Seungkwan only to hit him on the shoulder **“I should welcome the new year while looking good.”**

**“What the fuck does that even mean?”** The blonde one opens one of his eyes to glare at the tall puppy next to him who doesn’t know how to answer so he simply shrugs. 

**“Anyway, we brought some more alcohol to apologise.”** Seungcheol walks with big strides in the kitchen and takes out a lot of bottles from his and Jeonghan’s backpacks, putting them on the table. 

**“And since we started drinking later than we originally planned to, we will drink more! Am I right?”** Wonwoo cheers bringing one of the gin bottles up. It’s the first time I’ve seen him this excited about alcohol. 

**“Should we start drinking and playing then?”** Jeonghan asks, already taking a seat at the table. 

**“Wait, Jihoon is not here, yet,”** Seokmin states after looking around and noticing that indeed he’s the only one missing. **“Is he coming, right?”**

**“I guess he went to pick Chanyeol up,”** Mingyu says while coming in the room together with Seungkwan. 

**“You guys don’t know what happened?”** The blonde one asks the rest of us. 

**“No, what happened?”**

**“To put it briefly, yesterday I met Chanyeol near his house. He said he would be going out of town and it’s mostly because he had a fight with Jihoon. He said he needed a break from the city and him, so he will stay at his uncle in the countryside for a couple of days.”**

**“When did they fight?”** I meddle in the conversation, asking myself why Jihoon hasn’t told me that. 

Seungkwan thinks about it for a while. **“I think it was two days ago? Yup. The day when we all woke up late after sleeping here.”**

I gulp and my eyes widen in realisation. 

It was the same day Wonwoo and I fought and Jihoon came here to comfort me. He said he had a date with Chanyeol and that’s why he had left in the afternoon. 

Did they fight during their date or was it after he came to my house? Did he come here wanting to be comforted and to vent his frustration and sadness? If this is the reason why he came, I can consider myself the worst friend on this planet, no, in the whole universe. 

I was being stupid and got carried away by the idea that he had heard my mind and heart calling for him that I didn’t ask him why he had suddenly shown up at my door. 

_‘I am a total shit. And I call myself “Jihoon’s best friend”? I am the worst as I couldn’t even notice that he was hurting too. A selfish person like me doesn’t deserve someone like him in their life.’_

At that moment, the doorbell rings and, still caught up in my thoughts, I slowly walk through the hallway to open the door. 

When I open it and see that it’s Jihoon, I throw my arms around his shoulders and hug him tight before he could even step in. 

**“What happened? Are you okay?”** He sounds worried and I guess it’s because what I just did reminded him of two days ago. 

**“Why didn’t you tell me?”** I ask, still hugging him. **“Why didn’t you say that you too had a fight with Chanyeol?”**

Jihoon’s shoulders relax the moment he realises what I am talking about and pulls away from the hug to take off his hat and scarf as well as his coat. **“It’s nothing. You know that we’ve been fighting quite a lot these days.”**

**“But it sounds serious since he has even left the city.”** I take his things and hang them while he crouches to untie his shoelaces. 

**“His family had already planned this trip in order to celebrate the new year with the rest of their family. It’s just a coincidence that we fought before he left.”**

**“But you haven’t made up yet?”**

**“No, but I will try when he comes back.”** Jihoon takes his shoes off and stands up again. **“What about you? Have you made up with Wonwoo?”**

**“We did. I went to his house yesterday and when he opened the door he was about to go out. He said he was coming to my house to apologise for how he reacted and what he said. So, we’re all good now.”**

**“I’m glad to hear that.”** He smiles but I can see that his smile doesn’t reach his eyes. Is it because Chanyeol is still mad at him?

**“Hey, what’s taking you so long? We want to play before the new year!”** Seungkwan shouts from the kitchen, the others complaining because of how loud he is. 

**“We’re coming!”** I shout back, taking Jihoon by the wrist and dragging him in the other room with the others. 

When I sit next to Wonwoo and Jihoon sits at the only free spot around the table aka between Jeonghan and Seokmin, our New Year’s Eve night officially starts.  
The first game we play is Monopoly, a classic board game but with a twist to it. 

**“The rules are the same as the traditional monopoly, the only difference is that whenever you land on someone else’s property, you take a shot. If that person owns all of that colour, you drink two shots.”** Jeonghan explains to the ones who never played the drinking Monopoly. 

**“However, if someone refuses to drink, they have to carry out a penalty,”** Seungcheol adds. 

Once everyone is ready with their shots, the game starts and halfway through it, some of the boys are already more than tipsy. 

**“Soonyoung, I dare you to show me the most recent photo you’ve taken and if I like it, you have to post it on you SNS,”** Mingyu slurs after I landed on his property and refused to take a shot. He stretches his arm to take my phone from the kitchen counter and gives it to me with a wink. 

**“No problem.”** Overly confident, I unlock the screen and tap on the gallery’s icon.

The last photo taken was one of Jihoon and I doing a derp face. We took it a while ago when everyone was fighting over who was owning which land and sent it to my mother. Quite afraid of Wonwoo’s reaction and hoping he is too tipsy to notice, I take a deep breath and turn the phone towards Mingyu who bursts out laughing. 

**“Oh my God, Jihoon. I didn’t know your face could do that!”**

**“Do you want to see what my hands can do to you if you don’t stop laughing?”**

At that, Mingyu immediately gets himself together but the fact he’s tipsy doesn’t help his cause and he still giggles at the picture. **“I like it. You have to post it.”**

**“I will when the game is done,”** I nervously say after having looked at my side and seen Wonwoo frowning at the picture on my screen. 

  
  
  
  


When we got bored with the Drinking Monopoly but still had some time left to kill before midnight, we play another drinking game aka the Drunken Ladders. Basically, it’s the old ladder game, purely based on luck, but at the end of the ladders there’s the number of shots one should drink. Since there’s nine of us we went from one to nine shots. 

Seungcheol goes first, choosing the fourth ladder and landing on the three shots spot. He doesn’t even let us realise what was happening that he had already downed them. 

Jeonghan chooses the seventh ladder and, of course, he had to be the luckiest member and get just one shot. We all complained about how unfair it is and how we have to stop playing games based on luck. 

Joshua goes for the third ladder and gets four shots which he drinks slowly as the other played their turn.

Wonwoo chooses the ninth ladder, landing on six shots. He complains at first, saying he can’t drink all of that by himself but eventually does it.

Mingyu, contrary to Jeonghan, is the unluckiest member. In fact, after choosing the first ladder he finds out he has to drink nine shots. Luckily, he’s good at handling his alcohol so he downs them as if they’re fresh water. 

Seungkwan is no better than Mingyu so he has to drink eight shots and, weirdly, he does it without making a fuss.

Seokmin ends up getting five shots but his black knight in shining armour, aka Joshua hyung, comes to the rescue so two shots go to Seokmin and the other three to Joshua. 

Jihoon and I are the only ones left. 

We glare at each other, knowing that one of us has to drink seven shots while the other one will only have two and it’s all up to our luck.  
The tension is high, the boys sing-song the ladder game’s theme while Seungcheol follows the drawing from my name to the number of shots I will take.  
He goes down, turns right and then left and even goes diagonally until the pen reaches the slot with the number seven on it. 

**“Soonyoung will drink seven shots!”** Seungcheol exclaims, clapping like a seal.

**“Jihoon, you’re a lucky one!”** Joshua grabs him by the shoulders and shakes him. 

**“Wait, Soonyoung can you even drink these or it’s too much for you?”** Jihoon asks. **“Do you want me to take half of them?”**

I know he means well and that he just wants to help me since I once told him I’m quite the lightweight, but the others may have taken it as a way to provoke me, to say that I’m a weakling.  
Hearing them boo at me as I am taking my time thinking about Jihoon’s suggestion, a spark, no, a fire ignites inside of me.  
I wanted to show them that I’m not weak and that my mom didn’t raise a quitter so I just say, **“I can do it, so hurry up and drink yours”** before grabbing the first of the seven shots Seungkwan had poured for me and then proceed drinking all of them.

When I put the last glass on the table, I start feeling dizzy and then realise that maybe I’ve gone too far. 

**“Are you okay?”** Wonwoo asks, placing his hand on the small of my back, maybe noticing that I shut my eyes close. 

**“I am, I think I just moved my head too fast and that’s why I’m dizzy.”** I smile to reassure him and he smiles back, seeming convinced by my answer. 

**“Guys, hurry up!”** Seungkwan screams from the living room where he had gone to check the time since we had left the tv on. His voice is followed by Mingyu’s. **“They’re about to start the countdown! Joshua hyung, bring the champagne and the glasses!”**

We all rush to the other room, afraid we wouldn’t get there on time and, in fact, the countdown starts as soon as the last of us steps in the room. 

I feel so excited while watching the numbers change, closer and closer to reach the zero. 

This year, especially the end of it, has brought new people in my life, a new best friend and even a boyfriend. I’ve already experienced so many things with them in just a few months and I can’t wait to see what the new year has in store for me, for all of us.

I hope it’s going to be a great one during which every one of us can be a step closer to see their dream come true, a step closer to that happiness we are all chasing after and that we can still be one big family, still have each other’s back. 

I look at my friends and boyfriend one by one, basking in the feeling of being surrounded by all the people I love and certain that I want to see this very scene each and every year because I want them to be part of my past, my present and, most of all, my future. 

I want them to be part of my life, part of myself. 

**“Three...two...one...HAPPY NEW YEAR!”** We all scream in unison, followed by a screech due to how startled we were by the sudden pop of the champagne bottle. Of course, Joshua had shaken it before opening it, so we all end up showering in the champagne and barely get to drink it. However, what matters the most is that we’re all laughing and hugging each other, happy to be sharing this moment, to be together. 

**“To the people who are all gathered here, to the ones we’ve known for the longest and the ones we’ve just met, to the memories we made last year and the ones we’re about to make!”** Seungcheol starts the sudden ment, bringing his glass mid-air and the rest of us follows. **“Let’s stay together for a long time!”**

**“Let’s be forever!”** Our voices resonate in the room together with the clink of the glasses that are downed in just one second. 

**“And now that the new year has officially started, let’s get wasted with the next game!”** Seungkwan excitedly screams and runs back into the kitchen together with Joshua and Seokmin to grab what is left of the beer and the alcohol. 

**“What if we play spin the bottle?”** Mingyu proposes as we are already sitting in a circle. **“To make it funnier, for the first ten rounds there are no questions or dares, we only drink the number of shots the other person tells us to.”**

**“I like the idea,”** Seungcheol rubs his hands interested by the proposal. **“This way, we can get drunk faster and then the truth and dares will get more and more interesting.”**

Even the rest of us goes along with the idea, looking forward to what will happen because of our bodies driven by the alcohol. 

So, when the trio comes back with the bottles, we explain to them the rules to the game and immediately start playing. 

The first to spin the bottle is Joshua and the bottle stops in front of Seungcheol. Of course, Joshua doesn’t lose the chance to torture the elder and he makes him drink ten shots of vodka. Then, because karma it’s a bitch, Jeonghan gives Joshua the same amount of shots. 

We kept going like this and, by the end of the tenth round, most of the people are already too drunk to keep playing. 

Jeonghan and Seungcheol passed out on the couch after the fifth round.  
Wonwoo’s luck had apparently abandoned him because, for the last three rounds, the bottle always stopped in front of him and he had never refused to carry out the penalty, that’s why he ended up drinking a total of twenty-one shots. I guess it’s only normal that he passed out after the last shot. 

At this point, there is only six of us for the second part of the game and we all know that, from now on, there’s no going back and that things are about to get intense. 

**“My turn to spin the bottle!”** Seungkwan reaches for the bottle and makes it turn. It lands on me and I kind of know what to expect from him. **“Well, well, well. Since you haven’t drunk that much, I dare you to drink five shots of whiskey.”**

**“Call!”** I grab the half-empty bottle of liquor and pour it five times in the glass in front of me, drinking the shot one after another. **“Now, it’s my turn,”** I say as I spin the bottle, my head feeling the same as the bottle going round and round. **“J-Joshua! I dare you to tickle Seungcheol hyung and see if he wakes up. If you don’t do it, drink three shots!”**

**“Are you crazy? I prefer drinking rather than getting killed by him if he wakes up!”** Joshua steals three glasses from us and pours vodka in them. **“I’ll spin it, get ready!”** The bottle stops in front of Seokmin and Joshua’s eyes light up. **“Give me a peck on the lips.”**

**“What?!”** Seokmin shrieks. 

**“What’s wrong with that?”** Joshua pouts and puffs his cheeks. **“We’re together!”**

**“WHAT?!”** Everyone turns to look at them feeling shocked and betrayed at the same time. 

**“Yes, it’s our third day as a couple,”** Joshua gets up to go and sit next to Seokmin, grabbing his hand and showing their laced hands to us. **“I’ve finally made him mine.”**

**“Fucking finally! It took you three years but in the end, you did it! I’m actually so proud of you, hyung,”** Seungkwan says as he pats Joshua on the shoulder. 

**“I mean, we all kind of knew that you would’ve ended up together, we were just waiting for you two to realise that your feelings were, indeed, mutual,”** Jihoon says and I almost jump out because of the surprise (it’s the alcohol’s fault). 

Jihoon has been weirdly quiet for most of the night, watching me drinking with a scowl on his face, almost as if he didn’t want me to. 

I turn around to look at him and notice that his cheeks are flushed due to the alcohol he has drunk before, the shade of pink they took is so cute and it makes me want to pinch and squish them to see if they can turn even pinker than they already are. My body almost acts on his own and I had already lifted my hand when I get stopped by the loud cheers of the guys. 

**“You really did it! You kissed Joshua!”** Mingyu is clapping like a seal and has thrown himself on Seungkwan. **“Congratulations to the both of you!”**

**“Yeah, yeah. Now, please, let’s focus on the game again!”** Seokmin says as he pushes Joshua away and grabs the bottle. **“Okay, Soonyoung! Drink another four shots!”**

I am already reaching for the vodka when Jihoon grabs my wrist to stop me. **“Soonyoung, you’ve drunk too much already. Skip the dare.”**

**“I’m not drunk though, I can perfectly handle more alcohol.”** I grab the first glass that Seokmin has poured for me and down it while looking at Jihoon in the eyes. I take the second one and drink it much more slowly, my head spinning even faster when I finish the third glass. Before I could even touch the fourth glass, Jihoon had already grabbed it and drunk it on my behalf. **“You didn’t have to,”** I slur. 

**“I wanted to, plus, you’re drunk and don’t say you’re not because everyone can tell by the way you talk and by those,”** Jihoon says, pointing at my rolled-up sleeves. 

**“It’s true. You’re sweating and your skin matches the red of your sweater!”** Mingyu adds as he pours himself a glass of water. 

**“Maybe I’m tipsy, but not drunk.”** I can feel my words coming out of my mouth slower than they should do. **“Trust me.”**

Seungkwan rolls his eyes. **“If you’re not lying and you can take more, then you have to drink the shot Jihoon took for you but you lose your chance to spin the bottle. Of course, you’ll still carry out your penalty in case the bottle chooses you.”** He snatches the empty bottle from my hand and passes me a shot glass filled to the brim. 

I look at it and my stomach is protesting, yelling at me that it has reached its limit and that drinking is probably not a good idea, because I’ll either pass out or throw everything up. 

However, feeling pressured by Seungkwan’s gaze on me, I drink it in one go and when I put the glass down, the possibility of it not being a good idea becomes a certainty. 

My eyes fix on the floor, every noise and voice sounds muffled and I feel like floating away from my body as my head spins faster than a yoyo and time seems to flow slower. Because of this, I probably miss a couple of rounds and what makes me (kind of) snap out of this trance is the pain I feel because of Seokmin’s elbow in my ribs. 

**“Soonyoung, did you hear what Joshua said?”** He asks me, still elbowing me in the side. 

**“No, I’m sorry.”** I turn my head towards Joshua, trying not to show on my face how that gesture made me feel even sicker. **“What did you say?”**

**“I dare you to kiss the person sitting on your left.”** He has a smirk plastered on his face and I don’t understand why until I turn to my left and see that the person he’s talking about is Jihoon. I look at Joshua again, confusion now evident on my face. “ **Yes, kiss Jihoon. Now.”**

My eyes return on Jihoon’s face and I get closer to him to let them roam on his features. 

I look at his eyes and remember the way they almost disappear when he smiles; his cheeks, still coloured of a cute tint of pink; his little nose which I booped countless of times only to see him annoyed and to giggle at his frown; his hidden dimples which appear whenever he drinks his ice americano, taking my breath away with them. 

However, what I found myself staring the longest are his lips. His thin pink lips which stretch in the most beautiful smiles when I do something stupid or when he’s just happy; lips that can form the most cute pouts when he’s focused on playing his drums or writing lyrics; lips that make a thin line when he’s lost in his own world on when he’s playing video-games; lips which he liked to lick and bite when he had to tease me. 

Maybe the image of him teasing me as he wears only a towel that appears right before my eyes, plus my drunken state, is what makes me lean forward. 

**“Soonyoung, you don’t have to-”** I shut Jihoon up with my lips before he can finish his sentence. 

It’s just a peck, not a proper kiss, but it’s enough to shock everyone in the room. They don’t dare to scream, afraid of waking the others up but when I look around, they’re all with their mouth hanging open, Mingyu is rubbing his eyes as if to check if they’ve seen right. Even Joshua who dared me to do kiss Jihoon seems surprised. Maybe he didn’t expect me to do it for real and maybe I shouldn’t have done it, but, at that moment, it felt right. 

**“Okay, I think it’s enough for tonight,”** Jihoon says, standing up and bringing the empty bottles of liquor with him. “It’s time to sleep, now,” he says before disappearing in the hallway, probably going to the kitchen to throw the bottles in the trash can.

**“Definitely. We all need some rest, so all of you, take your places and let’s all close our eyes,”** Joshua moves his hands as to shoo us to our futons and sleeping bags but my feet take me somewhere else. 

I go into the kitchen, where the lights are on, but Jihoon is not here, only the bottles he took are left on the table. After turning the lights off, I try checking upstairs, my heart beating faster as I panic, thinking that he may have left because of me and of the kiss. Feeling like I’ve sobered up, I check the bathroom first but it’s empty, then I rush into my parents’ bedroom but this one, too, it’s empty. 

Scenes from that dream I had two days ago, scenes of me running for Jihoon only to lose him, to see him taken away from me, flashes before my eyes and make my heart tighten. What if what I had feared the most has become real? What if I had lost him forever because of what I just did?

With nervous and scared steps, I open the door to my room and at first, I feel like dying when I see that the lights are turned off but then I sigh in relief when I notice Jihoon sitting on the edge of my bed, head held in his hands. 

**“I thought you had left.”** My voice comes out weak, almost like a whisper, and Jihoon snaps his head up. 

**“I wouldn’t.”** Jihoon stands up but doesn’t come close. **“I just needed to be alone because I was shocked.”** He tries to giggle but what comes out is a mirthless laugh. **“I didn’t expect you to do it for real, you know.”**

**“I was taken aback, too. My body moved on its own.”** I take a step closer to him, feeling the need to explain myself to him. 

**“So you didn’t really want to.”** And I don’t know if I’m seeing things because I’m still very drunk, but he seems hurt by my words. 

This time I rush to him, grabbing his shoulders and looking directly in his eyes. **“It’s just that I suddenly felt this urge to kiss you.”** I take a pause before saying, **“your lips…”** my eyes fall on them and I’m in trance once again, my eyes slowly losing focus as my mind starts wandering. 

All I can think of is that jolt of electricity I felt when my lips touched his soft and liquor-flavoured ones, a feeling I never experienced before, not even with Wonwoo. I shouldn’t think this but I want more of it. I suddenly feel like kissing him, this time for real, so I can taste his lips even better, so I can bite them until they’re red and swollen. **“...they are too beautiful to resist.”**

And with that, I grab his face in my hands and kiss him. 

At first, I can feel Jihoon freezing at the contact, but I don’t move. I stay there with my lips pressed on his in a peck. He doesn’t fight to push me away and it doesn’t take that long until he surrenders to me and kisses me back. 

The way our lips naturally move in sync amazes me. It’s as if we’ve been making out since a long time ago and that’s why our bodies got used to the way the other moves. 

The wet sound of our kissing resonating in the room makes me feel alive and it gets incredible when, in the heat of the moment, Jihoon opens his mouth, letting my tongue in. 

Our tongues meet, dance together and taste each other as we move closer to the bed, Jihoon sitting on my lap and my hands roaming under his loose sweater, wanting to feel more of his skin. The atmosphere around us gets hotter and heavier by the second as our bodies push closer, in need of more contact. 

What makes me reach a state of ecstasy, though, is when I bite Jihoon’s lips and a small whimper leaves his mouth. At that moment, a fire starts burning inside of me, making me grab Jihoon by his firm thighs and lay him on the bed so I can be on top of him, my hands caging him and his legs wrapped around my hips. We break the kiss to breathe but when we do, I find myself admiring a Jihoon I’d never seen before, swollen lips, dishevelled hair, short on breath and with his white collarbone peeking from the sweater. This view and the echo of his whimper in my head make me go wild, make me want to hear more and make Jihoon come undone. 

I first lower my head to leave wet kisses, slowly going from his jaw to the base of his neck, his body shivering whenever my lips came in contact with his skin and his hips rolling upwards on their own, his crotch brushing mine and fueling the fire inside my body. Following what Jihoon did, I push my hips downwards, trying to match his rhythm and let our clothed cocks rub against each other, as I keep kissing his neck until I reach his collarbone, successfully getting moans out of him. 

I detach my lips from his skin for a while, to catch my breath and to look at him. He is a mess and his eyes show how needy he is right now. As I admire him, I feel quite proud to see the state he is in because of me, because of my kisses. 

Drunk in the moment and of Jihoon’s scent, I lower my head on him once again and sink my teeth in his flesh, just above his collarbone, the very action making him moan loud and sending more blood to the lower part of my body which didn’t stop looking for friction with Jihoon’s hard dick. 

However, the sound startled Jihoon himself who immediately covers his mouth and pushes me away from him. **“S-Soonyoung, w-we can’t do this. It’s w-wrong.”**

**“Are you afraid the others can hear us?”** I ask, leaning again forward to try and attach my lips again on that spot near his collarbone. 

**“Yes, and because they’re probably asking where the hell are we. What if they come in and see us like this?”** He says, pushing me away again and getting out of the bed. **“I’ll go downstairs, you stay here in your room. If they’re still awake, I’ll tell them I helped you put your pyjamas and made sure you fell asleep.”** He fixes his hair and sweater, luckily long enough to cover the tent that had formed in his jeans. **“Just hope nobody heard us, especially Wonwoo.”** And then he leaves the room. 

The moment the door closes, it’s the moment everything downs on me. 

I was making out with Jihoon, my best friend, while Wonwoo, my boyfriend, is downstairs. 

I lay down on the bed, closing my eyes and massaging my temples as I feel my head suddenly pounding. 

_‘Is this why people swear they’ll never drink again? Is it because it makes you do this kind of things where you act recklessly?’_

Slowly, the panic creeps in at the thought of the others finding out what happened, causing me to lose two of the people I care about the most; at the thought that I might’ve fucked up for real because of my instinct and my stupidity which makes me prone to do the wrong thing. 

_‘But if it is supposed to be wrong, why did it feel so right? Why did I feel like I was finally alive while kissing him? Why could I breathe again? But most of all, why did I want to kiss him?’_

And with my head spinning again because of the sudden loads of worries and with Jihoon’s taste still lingering on my lips, everything goes black as I pass out, kind of hoping this was just a vivid dream and that when I’ll wake up, I’ll be in the living room, precisely in Wonwoo’s arms. 

  
  
  


However, there’s a tiny part of me that unconsciously wants this to be real.  
A part of me that hopes not to forget what has happened in this room when I will wake up.  
A part of me foolishly hoping for this to happen again someday.  
A part of me that, tonight, has realised that nothing and no one can bring me as high as Jihoon does and that I don’t want anyone else to make me feel like this. 

Why? Because this part of me knows that Jihoon is, and will probably always be, the only one for me. 

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, I'm back from the dead!  
> I know I've kept you waiting a lot for this, but this chapter has been a great challenge for me first of all because of its length and second because of the shifting among the different points of view. However, the biggest challenge was to write all of this when work and other personal issues have been taking away most of my time so I couldn't write when it was actually the only thing I really wanted to do. I really hope to work faster on the next chapter but by now I should know that it always happens the opposite of what I hope for hahaha. 
> 
> Going back to the chapter, well, a lot of different things happened and to sum up things, we now have: Seoksoo dating, Jihoon who has temporarily broken up with Chanyeol, Soonwoo back to being boyfriends and Soonhoon are now in the awkward zone after they have almost reached the point of no return (I'm sorry for the poor smut but I'm not good at that and it's so cringy for me).  
> So, what are your thoughts on this? What do you think it's going to happen to our heroes? Let me know in the comments or on my twitter and I'll see you with the next chapter!! 
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading it and sticking up with me!!!  
> I love you all!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading it! Leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed it so I know what do you think about it!  
> You can hit me up on twt (@Yleisnotonfire1) and check my profile to know when I'll update!


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